A lot of men post on the various gardening threads here. None of them live at my house. My husband would be happy if there was just grass, maybe one tree. He is not allowed near the flower beds either!

The missus has zero idea of what goes on in a garden, whether veggies or flowers or whatevers. That is all me.

Since moving to the gulf coast of Florida last February, I am still learning about how to garden in sand. Nothing like the rich soil of central Illinois.

We travel a lot and we have a service come in to do the mowing. I can tell that they are not happy since they cannot run those monster machines in straight lines now. I have too many new places with plants. Too bad for them.

Three winters ago, January, but a fairly nice day in the upper 30'sF Pennsylvania, so a true winter... hubs decided to prune one of my rose bushes....just so happened that this was the last rose bush my mother planted before she died. Thing is Mike knew as he talked about it days before hand and I told him it could not be pruned in the dead of a northern winter and what would happen..he snuck and did it anyway because this old man knows it ALL. Of course come spring the rose was dead. Mikes response**Well I didn't know** of course he knew what would happen....I don't allow him near my plants not even to weed, and that includes using his weed wacker I get my son to do these things. I keep a close eye on him when he's prowling around outdoors actually I watch him indoors also. You would understand if you witnessed the things this man can get into. Worse than a toddler.

Mama, your husband sounds like a former neighbor/landlord of mine. A highly successful architect, he was completely bankrupt in the common sense department. His wife would call to warn me when he was 'at large' and looking for a project. Especially if he had a tool of some kind in his hands, omg!

But in my world as a professional horticulturist, I have to say that I've known a great many extraordinary male gardeners and plantsmen. I far preferred my speaking engagements at the men's garden clubs; they were more attentive and serious. And the food was often better, lol.

My dh is a well educated, intelligent man with many talents. When it comes to flowers, he has pulled out prized, hard to find plants on more than one occasion. This man, with all his attributes can not differentiate a weed from a flower. Oh, pruning is another story. I almost fell over when I came home to find he had pruned all the shrubs with electric hedge trimmers borrowed from a neighbor. He is banned from the flower beds and not allowed to even think about pruning.

Sometimes I wonder if this was deliberate to get out of doing yard work.

Alisande, that story about your teenage son and delphinium is priceless!

My late husband once pruned an azalea to death. He helped me get rid of a stand of nandinas with a crowbar, selecedt a pink dogwood and planted it in the sunniest part of the yard, which died of course, installed paths and brick platform for our garbage cans, and raised stone bed which I planted. Ah, the good old days. I always took care of the flowers and veggies. But I remember when we took walks, he was always looking up, at trees, while I was studying what was growing in my and everyone's gardens. He scattered grass seed once, then became unable to mow. I am still pulling grass out of my beds. But he never had interest in helping me turn lawn into gardens and maintain them. He was more into trees and large shrubs.

As for the couple next-door, he is a plant collector, and buys many from Plant Delights. His wife likes to garden too, and 'edits' when she can, as he hates to destroy any plant even if it is invasive. Two guys who live across the street have a pristine lawn and perfectly groomed flower beds with beautiful blooms.

So not all men hate flowers. Think Lewis and Clark--Lewisia, Clarkia, Thomas Jefferson, Darwin with his orchids.

Rhizo, LOL my husband is intelligent with a degree in Department store management and a teaching degree from Indiana University of Pennsylvania...and a degree in auto/ auto body mechanics. But hasn't a lick of sense. Years ago we went to our favorite italian restaurant, my chair wiggled, Mike was out of his chair in a blink headed for the car, I held my breath as I knew what he was gonna do and sure enough he came back in with a huge tool box, turned the chair upside down and tightened all the screws..I nearly died. I have dozens of stories like this, so embarressing.

My dad and grandfather always had gardens. They weren't into flowers so much because they were not practical. I'm the main flower gardener here, but my dh likes to prune. He plants a few things manly peppers. He's really gotten into raising monarch caterpillars and so has taken on milkweed.

I redid my flower beds when I moved here and filled them with color. Apparently, that began the 'competition' or so says the wife and daughter of the next door neighbor. They could never get him to plant flowers at their other house. He suddenly decided since I planted flowers, he should too. He looked at my flowers and went and bought the same kinds. He is happy. I think it is hilarious. Now I have three other neighbors who went and did the same thing.

The man across the street doesn't touch his wife's flower beds but he grows a huge amount of super hot peppers that he makes into jars of jelly he shares with all the neighbors. His 'job' is to cut the grass, a chore he despises. To watch him struggle with the lawnmower is painful as he doesn't have a clue.

This year he got the brilliant idea to cut the grass really short so he wouldn't have to do it as often. He scalped the lawn creating a sand storm that had everyone running for cover and closing windows. The result is a lawn that is brown and full of weeds. Needless to say, this fall they will be laying down new sod.

Mama that isn't so bad. My friend has a dad who likes to improve things but they all look so much worse after he's done. She has to clean glue spills and paint drips and has hidden the power tools more than once.

Not all men hate flowers or are ignorant about those. I admit there is a class of men who recognize the amount of effort required to care for a bed of flowers and choose to let nature take it course and maybe the flower bed will revert to grass making less work for them.

However, to attempt to classify all men as klutzes and ignoramuses in a bash-ful way is distasteful.

I've known and see many men who love to garden and grow flowers. So many independent nurseries where I shop for my own flowers are owned and operated by men, so I think your statement is not valid. The first house my husband and I bought was owned by an elderly man with a fabulous flower garden, mostly peonies. My grandpa and one of his sons both grew amazing dahlias, along with many other flowers. They both had large gardens, about 1/2 flowers and the other half vegetables.

Mamap, that seems just downright mean of your husband to kill your rose. I think I'd have "pruned" him out of my life at that point.

My father loved roses and entered them in shows. My husband never planted a flower but has two great vegetable gardens. I'm the flower person here and they are all in a gazillion planters around the 1/2 acre. Too much shade to grow a variety but I do have gorgeous impatiens , coleus, and begonia.

Oly thing is he didn't believe for one second the rose would die he really believed he knew what he was doing. Na after almost 40 years I wouldn't prune him out of my life over a rose bush, but i'll tell you he's never understood why suddenly out of the blue his Wii game system no longer worked. HAHA.

Not a problem here--we both took the span of ornamental horticulture classes in college. He started a few years before me, so we didn't attend any of them together. Although he has input ability for our home landscape, it is pretty much mine to plant and change. He asks if he isn't sure about something; there have been only a couple of mishaps over a long stretch of years.

My grandfather recently passed so I have been reminiscing lately about the times I spent at their house and what I would give to go back in time and experience it again.

He kept an amazing yard and garden, I don't think anyone really knew just how much work he put into it and how much pride he had in it until Alzheimer's took him from us.

There was the cherry tree, the apple tree, the pawpaw tree, and the grape vine (which I still use the grapes to make the world's best grape jelly) in the backyard, not to mention numerous rose bushes and a huge variety of other flower beds in both the front and back yard of this small city lot.

We always had Easter there and an Easter egg hunt in his beautifully tended garden was definitely the highlight.

If there is any sort of lawn maintenance/beautification going on at my house, it is most likely my hubby doing the work.

So, at least in my family, the men are the gardeners.

I'm glad this thread was started. It may help dispel false concepts of gender divisions that plagued past generations and which may have prevented some men from taking an interest in flowers.

Of course some men (and women) have other interests, but my point is that each person ought to decide for himself/herself what is appealing.

My father loved to grow flowers. He was a wonderful gardener. He'd get up extra early every a.m. so he could spend at least 15 min in the garden before he headed off to work. When he came home, he dropped his stuff and headed back out to the garden. For his funeral, I put up a list of 85 different flowers I remembered him growing and I'm sure I missed some.

Jemdandy, I never said anyone hates flowers and it certainly was not my intention in regard to "However, to attempt to classify all men as klutzes and ignoramuses in a bash-ful way is distasteful." to suggest anything remotely along those lines. I was merely relating an experience with friends.

As a matter of fact, I learned most of what I know from my eldest brother who owns a plant nursery and is active in breeding new varieties.

Olychick, I reread my statements and have no clue which one isn't valid. I merely related my experience with friends and my husband. To me they are valid and there is no other judgement involved.

My husband is great with flowers. Like he just said, he may not know the names of them but he knows about them. He even tries to revive half dead ones I want to get rid of. He is the chief gardener in the family

As a professional horticulturist just like rhizo, I also come into contact with a lot of very avid - and skilled - male gardeners. And some have very defined sensibilities about what plants they like and don't like..........in fact, they can be some of my most demanding design clients!! And I encounter just as many females who don't have a clue nor do they care much - "just make it look pretty"!! So I think it's kind of risky to make broad generalizations :-)

When I first met my XH, he had no experience with plants or gardening but it wasn't long before I was dragging him to all manner of nurseries or botanical gardens and making plans to relandscape our gardens so he got on board pretty fast. And developed a real love of plants.....although not so much a love of planting or taking care of them. He was great to take to a plant nursery as he got very enthused about various plants and would gladly write a big check when the time came to check out! And he did help relandscape our last home.......3 times :-)) Now that we are no longer together, he is still interested in plants and landscaping and often calls me for advice and suggestions. But he hires all the work out. LOL!

Gardengal, my husband also had a love for plants and flowers. He always enjoyed choosing flowers and helping with spring planting. Each year he would plan one vacation to visit a famous garden.

My husband doesn't touch my flowers. He does enjoy their blooming times. He plants a really nice garden for us and does a nice job mowing. I, too, love to mow. We have a large yard so he mows the barn side and I mow the house side of the drive. We have had tons of rain the past month and the darn weeds just keep coming back.. Oh well, I will keep on pulling the crazy things.

My mother is an exuberant gardener and at 85 is still going strong. Her late husband didn't have a clue about flowers or vegetables. So he mowed the lawn. He mowed over her rhubarb patch one year. The next year she made a point of it, and put a big tomato cage around it (at the end and outside of a raised vegetable bed). She watched him mow the lawn one day - he pulled the tomato cage off of the rhubarb, mowed the rhubarb down and put the cage back in it's place.

My DH has no interest. It has nothing to do with being of the male gender. It's simply not something he wants to do (read about plants, go to nurseries, plant and water). He appreciates the garden, and enjoys sitting down and doing his meditation session outside. And he's always willing to help do clean-up.

I showed him which are plants and which are weeds, although I do all the pruning. He takes care of keeping our sizable backyard neat, and I do the front which is more complex with dozens of different plant varieties. He cuts back the neighbor's ivy, keeps our pathways clear, sweeps the two patios, pulls out dead brush.

When he's interested in a subject he's a fanatical researcher. He's a military enthusiast, long-time wargamer, and has a collection of literally thousands of historical and fantasy figurines. One time we were watching a Hollywood war movie on late-night TV. There was a brief clip of a tank coming over a hill - very fuzzy, indistinct, red lighting on a bulky black silhouette.

My DH exploded in dismay. "How could they DO that?!?!? That's a FRENCH tank, not a German tank!"

I looked at him in amazement. "You're so legally blind you can't drive at night, but you can tell what kind of tank that was from a fuzzed-out TWO SECOND movie clip?"

He just shrugged. "Well, of course. Anybody could see that!"

LOL!

Many gender tendencies and generalizations are real. My experience is that more women than men seem to like flower gardening.

Does a flower gardening hobby come about when people retire? Is it a pastime disproportionately followed by stay-at-home parents or others who don't work outside their homes? Some people keep decorating their homes incessantly - do they view "decorating" the outside in the same way? To these questions, I say - who knows? But standing outside a nursery or garden center, except for those having purchased heavy items, the majority of customers leaving with flowers and seeds that I normally see are female.

And do men pay as much attention to flowers in gardens and in interiors as women do? Definitely not.

Again, some very broad generalizations that may or may not be true. My experience as a horticulturist, garden designer and former nurseryperson is that men are equally as engaged in gardening as women. They may not be as "in" to flowers per se as women but they are very intent on trees and shrubs, lawns (very much so!!) and anything edible. At my nursery, men shoppers probably match female shoppers one for one!

After spending a couple of decades participating in discussions on various GardenWeb forums, men are just as present and active as are the women and in some cases, much more so.

As far as interiors go, I think it depends on the guy. Some of the best interior designers I know are men. And my former DH had to give his approval on any changes made to the interior decor. He was afraid it would turn out too 'girly' if he didn't have his say. LOL!

My DH pays a great deal of attention to the gardens and the flowers. He is very specific about what looks good and what does not. He sees it as if he were a landscaper, I think. He likes low gardens of neat multicolored flowers in excruciating straight rows. I prefer multilevel planting....more in groups and with a color scheme. He just shakes his head at my black petunias! :-)

Irma, you're right. You wrote specifically about your experience and I read it as a generalization; I think the title threw me off as it referred to men, not just the men in your life/friends. Sorry!

I had to stop and think about the men I have known in my life, cause initially I agreed with the title. But after some reflection it isn't really accurate for my life. From family to people I met at garden swaps, owner's of nurseries, to the plant forms here it's there really is not a gender tendency. I love my plants, I think my green thumb came down from the male side of the family as my two grandfathers and dad all gardened, and had a true interest in watching things grow. That is not to say that all three of them have at one point or another pulled out flower that they thought were weeds. No ones is perfect after all. Oh yeah and all of us have let that one mystery plant grow cause we thought it was a flower only to find out it was a weed. My sister is a just so it looks pretty kinda gardener, that is passed from my mom and Grandmother. I do know a women who "gardens" but what that means is she buys the plants sets them in the yard then neither plants or waters them.....Although this year I think she managed to pot up most of the flowers not sure if any are still alive now or not. My neighbours are a split mix most do as little as possible, usually one weekend effort kind of thing, with the men doing the grass cutting. But neither gender really gardens.

Olychick, no need to apologize, but thank you for the explanation. I failed terribly in the title as I was trying for something neutral......more experiences both yay and nay......not a debate. I could use Titles 101.

Eta - that doesn't sound clear....I didn't intend to imply all men aren't good at gardening.

My DH doesn't care one bit about planting shrubs or flowers or the landscape. He grew up on a large farm and thinks he knows everything about growing stuff, but he doesn't. He might be able to grow a field of hay or corn but not the type of gardening we do in the south or for a small scale. So he takes care of the mowing and trimming and I do the veggies and flowers. He helps on occasion. When I need help I let him know what he can do and supervise closely.

The tough part is when he wants to trim trees. We have a fairly large acreage with woods bordering the property. He hates mowing around trees. When trees need to be trimmed, he whacks, sometimes indiscriminately. I have tried to train him in what can stay and what can go, how to trim, marking the ones to cut and not cut, tell him to ask me before cutting down something, but then he will get out there & whack away. The other day, he cut down 2 small-to-medium sized native dogwoods and left a nasty sweet gum I had been after him to cut down. I was fuming mad.

My husband doesn't recognize plants by their foliage so he wisely only yanks what he has learned to be weeds. He learns though and does all of my heavy lifting. I'll pull the weeds :-)

My dad does all the gardening at my parents house. Mom takes care of the inside of the house, dad the outside, which includes their garden. Mom will buy flowers but dad plants them. I don't know if he knows the names of all of them, but he's the reason they are in the garden and growing and not dead. ;)

It occurred to me that I do know of quite a few men that are excellent plants people. In most cases, they tend to specialize in something very specific such as exotics, roses, orchids or lilies. All are very knowledgeable, if not experts.

I think some know about plants and some don't. My son in law just used the weed eater on my sedum! He also recently mowed down Amber's tomatoes and sweet pepper plants. He also weeded the strawberries a few years back, berry plants and all. So mostly in my family it is the women that tend to the flowers too and the vegetable garden.

Sue in Central Indiana

My DH insists, year after year, that he wants a plant that comes up every year and blooms heavily from spring until frost. I have never been able to find such a plant.

Elizabeth, you husband's dream plant is growing under the tree that grows very fast, has non-invasive roots and strong branches, that automatically stops growing at the desired height, isn't mess and, if possible, produces beautiful flowers.

I've been a member of several plant societies.... Louisiana irises, water-lilies, daylilies, and antique roses, and the most knowledgeable members, 9 times out of 10, were men. And the best hybridizers. I also used to raise and show fish....again, men dominated there as well.

Elizabeth, I raise water-lilies, and they do that, as do some antique roses.

Elizabeth, let us know if your husband does find that dream plant. Lol.

Something I've noticed lately is that men seem to do the majority of seminars and speaking engagements on topics ranging from Pest Control to Vertical Gardening. It has been a while since I heard a woman speaker and she talked about cooking with herbs. Mind you, I don't get out to many of those events much these days.

Interesting discussion. As some have mentioned, there are some broad generalizations, but I'm sure made with love and humour :-). No one has yet mentioned pot growers, the majority of whom seem to be men. If you see how they write about getting their plants to bud and discuss pruning like it's the biggest revelation - cute. Also, there are likewise many men who are into the carnivorous plants - and a good lot of science geeks too.

My husband is a menace to flowers. He pulls them up like weeds, bulldozes them, tramples them underfoot. He says he likes them, but I've never seen him admire them, and he treats them like they're a nuisance in the garden. I've had to learn to plant them in pots just to keep them alive and out of his way.

OMG some of the stories are so humorous, even though they are not intended to be.

The best true plantsmen I have known were men. A young man i knew made a paradise out of a hillside that was the most beautiful garden in our neighborhood and got me started in serious gardening. He could have won show prizes but instead was extremely modest and shared his blooms with neighbors and the church. Another was a gentleman from S. Korea who built a fantastic sculpted " mountain" with waterfalls and manicured plants in pristine Japanese style garden in the back. These two did their work alone from scratch, no work crew or designers.

The great rosarian and rose hybridizer Tom Carruth turned Huntington Library's rose garden into one of the most beautiful gardens in the world today. I am truly grateful to have watched it go from a lovely garden to a masterpiece in a few short years.

Hooray for men plantsmen. Your dedication and skill is irreplaceable.