Just got a Houzz notification for something I didn't order...
Hareball
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
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Hareball
6 years agoRelated Discussions
Please tell me i didn't make a mistake with ordering new computer
Comments (22)Any computer can be considered unworthy by someone, because a lot of it is nebulous and personal taste. For example, for my previous computer purchase, I bought a cheapie laptop because I had all the bells and whistles I needed at work so the last thing I wanted to do at home was use a computer. So I just bought something for e-mail and online shopping at home. THEN, I lost my job. Now I work from home a ton, and my DVD player that was attached to my TV went out and I can't afford a new one so I am using my laptop for watching movies, which I also do a ton more since I replaced expensive cable that I didn't care much for with Netflix. I use this as an example because even though you maybe bought a little more than you think you need, you never know where your life will take your or where technology will take us in the future. I know I paid 100 dollars more for getting a new Sony laptop, with the sole reason being I didn't have to struggle with the keyboard the way I did with all the other ones I tried, and I know I will be typing a ton in graduate school. So I have some remores at paying 100 more for a computer that is not that much better than the cheaper ones, but I KNOW I will be thanking myself later when I am knee deep in my doctoral disseration and am spending hours on it. It's very hard to know how to parcel out financial priorities in these difficult times, and THAT I DO think is worth discussing on a forum. I say, if you CAN, pay a little more to get a little more which will stand you in good stead for the future. But other people will say, get the minimum and live with it. Neither school is right or wrong. But once you have decided, own your decision and don't look back, IMHO. Because you are just going to get conflicting advice from the two camps til the cows come home. If you made what YOU thought was a good decision, stand by it. . . . Of course that is just my opinion, lol!...See MoreI didn't... I don't want kids.
Comments (19)Reggie, When I met my DH, I was 29 years old and I knew then that I didn't want to have children. He has three children and he would also see them every other weekend. Believe me, I did find it hard when they were around. I especially found it hard with the oldest child who right from the start did not like me at all. With time, I started disliking it when she would come over to our house because what missy wanted, missy got! It would just infuriate me and for years I had arguments with hubby about the way he treated this child, never, ever, ever saying no to whatever she asked for. Well, she grew up to be a spoiled, irreponsible child.She quit school early, got pregnant at 16 years old, got in-debth, etc. etc. etc. She got married and treated her husband just like she had treated her dad all her life, that is, when she asked for something, she had to get it NOW, her husband is the one who was stuck with cleaning the house, taking care of the children, etc. etc. That marriage did not last long needless to say. Today, she is divorced and she has had to make major changes in her life. And I must admit that she has matured quite a bit in the last two years and she is now in a new relationship and believe me, she doesn't treat that man the way she treated her x. But I find it so sad that she has had to go through all these experiences at such a young age. I sometimes think if her father had spoiled her less and had felt less guilty towards her, this child wouldn't have had to go through such negative experiences when she was so young. Today, my relationship with this step-daughter is good but it was hell getting there. I always told her that at 20 years old, she had gone through what a 40 year old woman would have gone through. So sad. This being said, I feel for you. I know you have been with this man for several years, but believe me, he will never, ever agree with you if you say anything wrong about his child, whether it's about the fact that you think she goes to bed too late or she is really childish or whatever. He will always defend her no matter how much he loves you. And believe me, this little girl's demands are going to become more and more big as she grows up. Whatever she will want from her father, I guarantee you she will get it and that will cause major, major fights between you and him! Believe me, I've been there. I have been with hubby for 20 years now and there were many times that I said to myself, if i knew then, what I do know now in regards to being a step-parent, I don't know if I would have started a relationship with him. So, all I can say to you from experience is you either have to accept this child in your life and try and detach yourself from her with love or....leave this man. I know you love him but you will drive yourself mad and make yourself sick to death if you continue in this relationship knowing there is a child that will always, always be there. Sometimes, in order to understand my husband's behavior towards his child, I would sit down for a minute and wonder what would I do if that was my child. Most of the time, when I truly thought about it, I thought I would do the same thing he did. These men love their children to death and they feel really guilty about not being in their life 24/7 and because of this, they will do anything an everything for them just so these children will be happy and not hate their father. I truly wish you luck sweetie.Keep posting....See MoreDid Starr's SM know something I didn't?
Comments (18)Wow everyone, thank you so much for the kind words! It really means a lot to me. Vista the wedding itself was a small affair at our home the home that my mom lived in. It was obvious to everyone at the wedding how upset I was. The guests included my step mom parents, her 6 siblings and their spouses, my step dads immediate family, a few close family friends, and amazingly a few members of my moms family! They actually planned the wedding pretty quickly like 6 weeks start to finish. At the time I was actually a university student and I lived on campus about 2 hours away. I came home every weekend. I remember the weekend that my dad told me he was getting married. He told me in private because I am pretty sure he knew what my reaction was going to be, which was of course, sobbing. I went back to school that week and continued to come home on the weekend, hoping that maybe they wouldnt actually go through with it. Step mom didnt actually move in the house until after they were married so it was pretty easy for me to just ignore what was happening by immersing myself in school during the week and then hang out with my friends on the weekends back at home. Typical selfish teenage behavior. Since it was such a small affair, there wasnt really a lot of expectations for me to participate other than to show up- probably designed that way by my dad. I guess my dad knew me well enough to know that once the initial shock and emotions wore off, that I would eventually come around and to give me time. I dont really have a clear recollection of the weeks that followed which is a good sign I guess. She moved in our home, which looked exactly the same as the day my mom died and stayed that way until they sold the house a few years ago. There were new mementos, memories, and photos added prominently displayed next to the old ones. Vista, its obvious that you have tried to reach out to your step kids and I am sure its incredibly painful to be pushed away by them. It sounds like you have left the door open to them countless times, they just have never walked through the door. I think its important to ask yourself whether their actions are the result of bad behavior or they just learned terrible coping skills to a traumatic event like divorce. My initial thought when you said the girls burst out in tears about the wedding dresses was there was still a lot of pain from the divorce. I can empathize with that pain. I admire that you are still hopeful that they will come around and the fact that you question where you could have made some changes along the way. Have you ever asked them that? Theres probably a pretty good chance that they may not have an answer for you, but maybe someday they will. Will the door still be open? Seriously, thank you for allowing me to talk about this. Its a blessing for me. Its really made me self reflect over the past day or so and has inspired me to continue to never take for granted the people that I hold so dearly to my heart....See MoreI've really missed it here and I didn't realize it.
Comments (60)Welcome back! I do remember you and your house and I'm so sorry for the health woes. You have a great attitude though. My college friend in her late 30's have been battling this too and she was stage 3 as well. She's now in remission, but still recovering from her treatments. I think your attitude is going to help you a lot too in this battle. I've been here on and off since the late 90's. Depends on how busy life is and also if I need to escape. I'm not a big poster though. I mostly read unless I feel like I have something to add that hasn't already been said or I'm one of the earlier posters. I think the last of your posts I remember is from your bathroom remodel. I still wonder what you ended up doing there. Maybe you posted it and it was during the time I wasn't around....See MoreHareball
6 years agoHareball
6 years ago
Michael
6 years ago
schoolhouse_gw
6 years agoartemis_ma
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoUser
6 years ago
oldgardener_2009
6 years agolast modified: 6 years ago
raee_gw zone 5b-6a Ohio
6 years ago
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