BTW, having Power of attorney is not a substitute for the HIPAA privacy releases. Because of the vagueness of the HIPAA laws, every single doctor and medical facility can interpret them in different ways. Our estate attorney drew up not only regular power of attorney docs, but also healthcare power of attorney with HIPAA releases that can be used in every situation with any medical facility or personnel. First of all, it sounds like you may need to talk to a geriatrician, if you can find one (a dying breed, unfortunately). You don't necessarily need to replace his doctor, but get some second opinions here if you can. Second, it is sad but true that many people have these kinds of anxieties and will only go into facilities when they are forced to. Is there any chance you can at least get one of those medical alert systems so that your dad can remain independent a bit longer? Talk to your dad's doctor; they often get discounts for patients for some of these systems. Certainly there are bad facilities as well as good ones. You should start investigating what's available now, because good ones have a waiting list. At the very least this helps calm a lot of your own anxiety because you will have a better idea of what to do when the time finally comes. Once you've found some good prospects, see if you can get your dad to visit with you during social hours, so he can see what kind of activities are there and what the people are like. It takes time, so don't expect to change his mind quickly. My MIL lives with us and it's taken us a year to get her to visit a local senior center for a weekly seniors exercise class! Now she's getting comfortable enough with the people that she's considering taking an additional line-dancing class on a second day - for her, that's amazing progress. Certainly there's a basis for your dad's doctor to dislike putting people into facilities - it's been proven people are happier and live longer in their own homes. But your dad seems to be falling into that 'gray area', where he may not be capable of being independent much longer. It's hard for parents to recognize that they are failing and need to be taken care of by their children. It's especially hard for women, because the older generation and much of the medical establishment does not take women as seriously as they do men - that's just fact. I find I have to speak pretty forcefully to my MIL for her to take my word for things, she keeps saying, "Well, I'll ask my son when he comes home." It's just habit and cultural differences, so keep plugging away. Don't fuss or get emotionally upset over it - if you remain calm and logical, people will start to take your concerns seriously. It may not be obvious now that your dad is starting to get confused, but if dementia is indeed happening, there are tests that can help determine how fast the mental deterioration is progressing over time.

You know Monablair, in light of her further actions, I'm gong to stick to my guns, and I'm not going to mutually agree to pull the negative. She deserves hers. I am going to email ebay as flamingo suggested, may not do anything, but at least they will be enlightened of her actions. Also, if I had been this seller, when getting out of hospital/nursing home, I would've emailed the people who I hadn't been able to send their poducts to, apologized with an explanation, and offered to still send what they had bid on. I never even got an apology, and if I had, I would've gladly pulled her negative, and sent her money again so she could send me the book. I still want the book, after all. But instead of an apology, I got a retaliatory negative which included her excuse. That's just wrong. Ok, I'm done. I'll email ebay over the weekend, and will wear my negative proudly..LOL! Thanks again everyone.

I'm not sure what to think of her. There's no doubt she needs desperate help, but I just cant even begin to imagine what her thought process is when she makes some of the decisions she's making. I mean, she's hanging out with one of the paparrazi guys. I just watched video footage this morning of them hanging out in her hotel room on the balcony, walking hand in hand on the streets going to Starbucks, sharing a lollipop and him kissing her cheek. They say the agency he works for is making a ton of money on the pics/footage they're getting of the two of them together. I think he's using her and I can't imagine how she doesnt see that. And, he's supposedly married too. And what mother wouldn't fight tooth and nail for their kids? She acts like she could care less. I would die trying to get my kids back and do whatever it took. I think she's a lost soul.

Ah, this Reminds me of my first home purchase. It was a for sale by owner. The took EVERYTHING too . Yes pavers included, also: the mailbox, the whiskey barrels with flowers, oh flowers were removed for transport so we were left with bucket loads of dirt no planter. They tried to take a gas range, I stopped them as utilities were already on since we signed paperwork hours ago. To top it off the storage shed in the back yard had a lock on it....FULL of the previous occupants belongings, to be retrieved at a later date, turned out to be 6 months later. We pulled up with our rental truck and they hadn't moved out yet. So guess who got to help.? They left me with one cabinet and one countertop. All this and we called the lawyer to be told we got a "good deal". Small town, we were new. She carried the mortgage after not wanting to fix problems on the inspection report, we should have done more but we were young and in a new town. She did leave a few things: 14 bags of rotting trash in the kitchen, and just outside the back door open garbage cans full of trash and storm water, a burn pile ready to go....oh, sadly, I could go on.