Vicsgirl, you have no reason to avoid the store, if anything I think they owe you an apology. The clerk should have stepped in and helped you and not let your checkout problem escalate. Clerk should have been in control of her own counter too, and not let someone step up and touch/handle your things, intrude on your transaction. I'm appalled at the behavior of the woman behind you, at the very most she should have asked you if you would like help, never touched or grabbed your card. Shame on her, not you.

Here's what I think:

1. The woman trying to "help" you was out of line, and

2. You've overreacted to what was happening, then and now.

Card machines malfunction all the time. and a "start from the beginning" approach is frequently needed. The right reaction is to laugh at it and try again, not get flustered. Storming out of the store was unnecessarily dramatic.

Go back to the store anytime and hold your head high. You're a customer and they should appreciate your presence.

I agree, it was extremely invasive of the other customer to take your card and proceed to ask for your password and rude of the man to call out as you were leaving. Everyone has had problems with card readers and I'm sure any cashier has encountered numerous such situations, including the one at your store. You should feel completely free to shop at the store again.

Oh I can relate. I went to Michaels. Usually the clerk will take my 2 coupons for 2 items. They ring the purchases up separate. No problem. But this one (old hag) said I have to use one coupon per customer and leave the store and come back in to use the other coupon. Soooo, I told my DH, go out of the store and come back in so you will be a new customer. He did and he handed her the purchase with the coupon. She looked at me and said you have go to back of the line as a new customer. I just stood there and stared at her until she rang up my purchase. Now whenever I go back there I stand there and stare at her and hope she waits on me again. Because I may just do that again. Oh and I'm 65 years old and sometimes just a little sick and tired of some of the clerks.

I agree with what Elmer said. YOUR FINE! No worries....

I had a cashier profess his love for me the other day....WTH? :0) It can go either way....and YES! I've been avoiding THAT store....:0) There are LOTS of places to shop. I don't have to take "that" crap! ha ha....

I am right there with mayflowers!! You may have over-reacted a tad but everyone else was way out of line as well.

Card readers often malfunction or misread and you have to redo the process. NBD!! And certainly nothing that would warrant a complete stranger(s) taking liberties in that manner. I also would have walked out. Probably after a few choice words :-)

They opened a new supermarket in my area a year or so ago, part of a national chain that follows a very strict and predictable store layout - every one is more or less the same. The first couple of weeks I visited someone inevitably asked if I needed help. And not just one person but 3 or 4 or more with every visit! Mind you I do like to wander a bit and see what a new store has that the smaller, older one does not, but I am quite capable of navigating a grocery store without assistance, even one I have never visited before. Lord knows, I've been grocery shopping since long before many of the store clerks were born!! For heaven's sake, grocery shopping is not rocket science!

I think it is rude and presumptuous to ask anyone over a certain age if they need help (unless they are in obvious distress), like being older somehow shrinks your brain and your power of reason. If I need help or cannot locate something specifically, I can ask for assistance on my own. After 3 or 4 such visits, I got so peeved I went to the manager to complain - he apologized profusely and on my next visit, this what I assume to have been a "new store" customer service policy had been stopped.

Annie - My reaction would have been to say loudly "Hey is there anyone else working here.?"

Vicsgirl, I can't believe that woman took your card, that was completely uncalled for. Don't think you need to worry about the clerk remembering you unless this is a tiny mom and pop grocery store. She probably has so many customers, she couldn't pick you out of lineup by now.

Why does anyone think Vicsgirl overeacted? The woman that took her card was way out of line! The woman encroached her personal space and took something that belonged to Vicsgirl (the debit card)! I would have turned to the woman, snatched my card back and told her I was perfectly capable to re-do the transaction.

As for the man...he probably belonged to the woman or had no clue what was actually happening. I would never let someone do something like that to me without getting a piece of my mind and I'm usually the one who will strike up a convo with someone while shopping or standing in line.

Vicsgirl, do not feel bad for the way you reacted!

I've complained too. Similar to Annie, I was at a clothing store and there was a manager wandering around, and an additional sales rep. Yet, only one worker at the register.

I finally just said, "Excuse me, is there any way you can open up the other register?" as I motioned to the long line. She did.

I was at a restaurant with DH. Only two other customers in the place. The waitress saw us go back (it was outside seating) poked her head out and did nothing. We waited and waited. We were on vacation and so really not in a hurry, but still. DH gets up and the waitress is in the front eating her own lunch! A waiter came out with my DH but my DH was not having the apology. We left.

The main problem is everyone is in a rush, even if they don't need to be. Vicgirl, I think you got flustered because you were also trying to be polite and not hold anyone up. The keypads and the way they work are not all the same in every place you shop. Once I had issues with one until I realized, "Oh I'm not in Stop and Shop I'm in....." so it's understandable.

I agree with Elmer and Morz. The cashier should have been able to step in and help you the second time.

The woman behind you was in a sweat and thought she was "helping" but instead was rude in how she handled things. If she was kind andasked nicely if she could help and then helped, it would be one thing. But to grab your card? Please!

Then as Mayflowers said, a man who couldn't mind his own business calls out to you like you're the one with the problem! I don't blame you for leaving! What nerve!

Take a deep breath. I think if we analyze what is going on here, you are upset with yourself for not punching in your info correctly, and thing escalated from there, As Elmer stated though, it could have been the machine and not you at all.

Go back to the store. Really, that cashier is not going to care.

Vicsgirl, that would upset me badly too. Not sure how I would have reacted, I'm not quick with a smart reply. You were absolutely right to get your card back, and get out of there. I wouldn't feel comfortable completing a transaction with a busybody examining my every move. Leaving was your best option, in my opinion.

I totally agree with everyone above who says no need to avoid the store.

Nicole I have been meaning to tell you I love you! HAHAHA OMG that is funny. Was he at all good looking?

I tell you what that woman better quit grabbing people's debit cards like that or she will come back with a stub one day. Do that to the wrong person! I can't believe she did that, I would have had a problem with that too. Just go ahead and return to the store you can always say it must have been your twin and laugh about it. Life is too short.

Oh yes, the woman had no business grabbing your card out of your hand. I would have given her the big old stink eye just for that and grabbed it right back. That's the first thing. Yes, those machines foul up all the time. Sometimes it's my mistake, sometimes it's the machine. People who are behind you in line need to accept that. So do you, the customer. If the clerk was standing there doing/saying nothing, I probably would have left too.

The guy who made the remark about your 'personal problems'? He would have gotten my stink eye too, and a 'MYOB' comment as I left.

I cannot even imagine what my reaction would have been if some customer behind me would take MY CARD out of MY HAND and do what she did! "OH NO YOU DIDN'T?!" is probably what I would say. HAHA! Or "what the H*LL are you doing lady?" Sometimes the machines are a bit difficult and sometimes I may have a brain f*rt...hey it happens. 2 seconds later, it is corrected.

Annie - I had a similar experience... quite often in my favorite discount store. One day I'd had enough of standing in line while several workers walked on by, including the store manager, without opening up a new register that when I got home I fired off an email to their corporate office.

I got a reply back from the regional manager apologizing profusely and saying he would personally train the store personnel. He apparently did because the next time I went, everybody was jumping in to help out. Of course it didn't last forever, but their service is definitely better than it was.

Vicsgirl - don't worry about going back to the store. Just go in as you always do. You did nothing wrong. If anything, the cashier should've stood up for you. A stranger grabbing your card out of your hand... not acceptable.

Gosh, I would have been offended too. Ms. Busybody inferred you were incapable of managing the transaction. If there's a 'next time', take a deep breath and tell any volunteer 'helper' to back off while you complete your transaction. If it still won't work, ask the cashier to call a manager so that you will not have a duplicate charge.

Unless you believe you are having some difficulties with transactions like this, let it go. Chalk it up to a whole world of people with poor manners, all of them 'in a hurry'.

I would have whipped out my phone and called 911 to report that someone had taken my credit card. She had no right at all to touch your belongings! Every store's readers are different, I have problems occasionally but only got flustered enough to ask the cashier to swipe for me, once. I don't blame you for feeling upset.

Vicsgirl

What a horrible experience.

I'm thinking the clerk probably sided with you, as others have said, there are all sorts of malfunctions in card transactions and none of those malfunctions require your card to be grabbed.

I would not avoid the store, in fact you should go there today and buy a special treat for yourself, maybe some chocolate, which will clear the air (chocolate clears the air, it's a true fact).

I wouldn't give my PIN number to anyone either.

Well, then again I probably would. I'm not good at thinking in the moment. Then I would have changed it when I got home...

And of course I would laugh at myself.

you did the right thing. Its hard to trust these days, you have to be careful.

The other morning I went to a local lower price grocery store because I like their meat cutters way of doing things. I was the only person in the store at 7:30 a.m. and when I got to the only check out line, the guy got me rung up quickly. While I waited for the chip reader to do its thing, I asked him if he had some folks who didn't understand that part of the operation. He said that it happened more times that he could count.

I have a bit of a short fuse, if someone in line had grabbed my card I probably would have used loud abusive words and maybe even yelled, "Thief!"

You had some rude people at that store period. It was none of the woman's business what was going on, and should have not taken your card. And the man that yelled out is an idiot who probably sits on the couch all day waiting to be served. :\

If it had been me in your shoes and someone had tried to grab my card out of my hand regardless if I thought their intentions were to be helpful or otherwise they would have gotten a negative response from me. Depending on my mood and frustration level I might have grabbed their hand and forced them to let go and back off. It is not ok to to do this and I doubt she would have if you were my age and I was in the same situation . It was very arrogant for that women not to ask you if she could help you. This says a lot about her, as for you maybe got flustered and then anxious and then angry, been there done that will likely do it again. Its called life and if we all did everything right all the time, well then we would never learn anything. And we would be doomed to repeat the same behaviors, with the same outcomes. I have tried to learn to watch for my errr feelings building up, I do my best to breath, look outside my frustration. If there are people there commenting or giving dirty looks I give my very best evil eye and then try to think things through. Not an easy thing to do in the heat of it ! What is the lesser of two evils to throw in the towel and try a new place, or rise above as best as I can. This usually depends on how PO'd I am. There has been more then one occasion when I have fouled up the debit/credit machine everyone does it so please remember when these things happen not to personalize the goof up just keep going. As for the store, I understand why you feel a bit embarrassed no one wants to be reminded for a moment they feel they were less than graceful about. Go back when you feel like it, don't assume that anyone remembers or cares that you had a bad moment. Don't let the buggers get you down.

I don't think you over reacted either. You had as much right to your emotions as the lady who grabbed your card out of frustration and the dumb a-- who called out after you.

The debit card machines have been acting weird in more than one store I've been to over the last few weeks.

I agree with most of the others here. You are completely justified in being upset and angry with the woman who dared to grab your card and demand your password and the boor who shouted an insult. I would re-consider ever shopping there again.

Life involves having to cope with unexpected situations. I'm sorry you were startled, but honestly, there was nothing happening to threaten your well-being or safety. Next time something unexpected happens, try to face it and deal with it rather than turning and running away.

Card machines seem to change and update all the time. I'll go into a store and the hardware is updated, or the software.

Swipe or Insert.

Swipe only!

Enter the amount of money you want back or enter the total PLUS the amount of cash you want back.

Sometimes things screw up and you have to start over. It happens.

It might be my fault or it might be some other error.

It's frustrating and certainly made worse by some stranger grabbing your card and commandeering the situation!

I wouldn't avoid going back to the store as it doesn't sound like the cashier or the store did anything wrong. Why punish them? The person that definitely crossed the line was the customer who grabbed the card from your hand and asked for your pin. You have nothing to be embarrassed about and I bet the cashier was just as appalled as you were when the customer grabbed your card.

I'm 30 and have to re-do those things all the time, either pressing too fast, or swipe when I should chip or whatever. I cannot believe that person took your card from you!!

As for embarassment, I've pretty much given up in my life, and just think "oh well, at least they have something to talk about in the breakroom today!"

Oh I think there were three people who were rude. Cashier should not have said you did it too fast. Customer should not have grabbed anyone else's property. Male customer should have kept his mouth shut and his nose out of other people's business. After three assaults, I think you were perfectly reasonable storming out. I once had to go to a dollar store when I had the flu. I was completely out of dog food. Got the smallest package and drag myself to check out line. The line was very long, and there was only one checkout stand open. Just as the person in front of me got to the cashier, someone opened a new check stand and called the person *behind me*. I was about dead so I didn't protest. I was so exhausted that I had to lean on the counter... which nobody seemed to notice. When I swiped my card, the register froze, the computer froze, everything froze. The cashier said "oh you must have swiped it too hard". When I said "what do you mean I swiped the card too hard???", the other cashier looked up in shock... but did not get her backside over there to help me or the cashier who was obviously new . Had I had one bite of pet food at home, or a carton of eggs that I could have scrambled for the dog, I'd have stormed out of there too. That was over a year ago, and I have not been in that store since. No, I did not overreact.

I have a short fuse too. Good, bad or indifferent....that is the way I am. If someone grabbed my card out of my hand, I would have snatched it back with a few choice words. Not saying I am right, but I know how mad I can get and how fast.

"I would have whipped out my phone and called 911 to report that someone had taken my credit card."

Really? Bother the police for something so petty? The police have bigger issues to deal with than a squabble. The person didn't steal and run off with the card. Had the person run off, then yes, call the police. Calling the police over this would be ridiculous.

I usually screw up when I pull out the card I use for cash back-always wind up hitting the wrong button, which btw, make no sense on some of these machines.

It's hard to choose the right option when both make no sense!

OH I just remembered something the Walmart cashier said to me a while back. I have a card that is not a chip so I swiped the card and the cashier said to me "some people just don't GET how to use the chip card" so I said to her, "this is NOT a chip card" and all she said was "oh" kind of sheepishly. It wasn't a big deal but it did sort of offend me like I was too stupid to use my card.

Yes, this is an upsetting experience. I am sorry you had to go through it.

Depending on my mood and my time and desire to 'deal' with this issue, once my card was ripped out of my hand, I would have begun with a very slight sniffle in my nose, followed by a small heaving in my chest, then topped off by a loud, piercing bawling wail "Waaaaaaaaaaaahhh - help me! My card has been taken! I'm scared!!" Of course, I have never been scared of drawing attention to myself - I figure if people must look, I will be sure to give them something to look at. The objective here is to get my card firmly back in my hands and to put people on high alert that there is a significant issue that has happened - primarily management - because something disturbing has happened on their watch. And once management is called, I would have some very choice words about this issue.

A more subtle, but equally focused, approached, would be to say, "May I have my card back, now, PLEASE?" The question would be directed at the cashier, not the assaulter; eye contact with cashier, not the assaulter. Once the card is retrieved, I would make sure to take my sweet time ensuring it is placed back in my wallet properly and safely. Once that is done, I would look up and with my best sickly sweet smile say very firmly, "May I please speak to a Manager? NOW." And follow up with management as above.

"some people just don't GET how to use the chip card"

I think that was extremely offensive. Even if you had a chip card, and even if you didn't 'get it', for a cashier to try to insult you that way is very poor customer service. I would have made a big show of writing her name down, depending on how I felt later I might have emailed Walmart.

I help pay their salaries with my purchases. And I'm sure Walmart realizes that if they employ catty little beyotches they won't get as much money.

I think that calling the police would be preferable to what I would feel like doing if someone grabbed my card out of my hands. I live in a small city, the police aren't too busy.

I admire fierce women.

Cash transaction - problem solved.

Unless the gal behind grabs the wallet.

On the way out the door ... I might have turned back, cupped my hand behind my ear and said, "I don't hear well, sir - what was that you said?"!

And, if repeated as before, given him a fairly substantial answer.

I'd go back to store, as usual ... if the cashier recognizes you, she might even say that she was sorry that that rude lady grabbed your card, and you'll find that her memory of you is with approval rather than the other way around.

ole joyful

In my book, you did nothing wrong. Even losing your temper a bit is fine in my book... especially in the situation you described.

Vicsgirl, what were you upset about the most - the woman grabbing your card or the botched transaction? Did you act unhappy/angry at the time of having to re-do the transaction (you did say that you were in a hurry)? Or were you in control and then the woman stepped in? I don't understand why the man would've made the comment he did just based upon you getting angry at the other customer (the woman) .... I would've been unhappy with that, too.

How did you react when the cashier told you to redo the transaction? Were you cranky then?

In any case, go back to the store and don't let things like that bother you, is my suggestion.

Vicsgirl,

That woman was rude and disrespectful to you and her behavior was uncalled for. She was out of line for several reasons, non of which were your fault. I screw up at the register all the time and would be livid if anyone were to grab my card out of my hand like that; I guarantee you, she would have known it! The cashier could have/should have helped to defused the situation by asking the woman to stand back while you finish the transaction.

You're probably still upset because you're not used to being put in those kinds of situations and you didn't appreciate being treated like that. It's completely understandable.

Sorry Joyful, but cash does not solve all similar situations. I had such an occurrence with my dad at the store with the big red K and the aqua letters. He was admittedly a little slow and getting the change out and getting the right change and the cashier snaps "here!" and starts grabbing the money out of his hand. I go "WAIIIIIIIT a minute here, you don't touch another persons money without his permission. I was about to call a manager over but wasn't going to make everyone in line wait, though maybe I should have for what she did. Her impatience is not my problem

I don't understand why so many are excusing the cashier in this situation. S/he mishandled it. S/he clearly did NOT know what happened and to just say you canceled it was totally uncalled for. The proper thing to do was suggest it may have been canceled or something and redo it. Would have eliminated all the following issues had the casher done their job properly. Had I witnessed this happen in one of my stores the cashier would be given a "counseling session" and a verbal warning.

Next problem, the "woman" actually committed two crimes. Grabbing the card from your hand was a robbery (no different than grabbing a wallet with money) and yes sephia_wa, she could have been arrested for it. Probably wouldn't have been arrested but she deserved to know that she had crossed more than just one line. The second crime was the attempt to use another person's debit card and it doesn't matter that she was standing there she attempted to illegally access someone else's account without permission. Again, probably wouldn't have been charged but the fact is there was two crimes committed. Come to think of it there's a strong possibility that demanding the passcode was another offense, since it was done in a demanding and threatening manner as it was, it could easily be thrown in as a lesser added charge. No real difference than someone at an ATM being ordered to give someone their code. Just because it's a store checkout doesn't change what happened.

The "man" didn't do enough to be hit with a 5th degree assault because you clearly didn't feel threatened but nonetheless he should have kept his mouth shut. I too suspect he was with the "woman". Probably henpecked.

It's too bad it happened. You're safe and it's over. You have nothing to be embarrassed about and have no reason to avoid the store if you want to go back there.

Had someone grabbed my card like that it's hard to say whether I'd get physical, get loud, call a cop, call security or what I'd do. I generally am overly cautious on handling cash/cards but if it happened I probably would have just challenged the person and yes you do risk them pulling a weapon. To call this "petty" is silly in my opinion as often "petty" things escalate as this situation actually did. It's a good thing it didn't escalate farther and the OP deserves credit for keeping the lid on it when the cashier didn't.

I don't think you did anything wrong. You followed your instincts.

If given the opportunity, the clerk should have tried to diffuse the situation and tried to make you feel more comfortable, but there may not have been enough time.

The other customer may have been trying to help, but was inappropriate. I agree it may have felt like assault. It probably was not intended that way.

I think if that had happened to me in my community, the energy would have been of a helpful nature, because that is what I typically experience. People bend over backwards to be courteous here, but they tend not to interfere if their help is not wanted. I don't know what you usually experience in your community. Your perception of the situation is probably colored by how you feel about your community and how you feel other people perceive you.

Since it bothers you, I would try to figure out what you can learn from this. Maybe you should project more confidence, embrace conflicts and challenges, take deep breaths to reset mood, feel more empowered and ignore the age/disability issue. Present yourself as independent, smart, highly competent and in complete control of any situation that may arise. Shop only when you are not in a hurry and physically comfortable and in the right frame of mind. I saw a woman in a scooter at a store recently who looked like she needed help with a physical task. She didn't. She had everything under control and you could tell that from her demeaner. People read body language.

We all have experiences that may embarass us. You just have to forgive it, learn something from it, let it go and move on to the next thing. More experiences dilute the staying power of the unfortunate experience. Plow through it with confidence.

I recently had an unfortunate experience with another customer at a store. It made me not want to go back soon after. When I do go back, I am ready to encounter that customer again and hold my ground. However, even if we recognized each other, we probably would avoid each other and it would be fine. At any rate, the store deserves to lose a bit of my business (an employee was involved), but I am not going to inconvenience myself by changing the way I shop because of an inappropriate customer. I'm just not going to take his crap. I have been back to the store several times since that meeting.

Had someone grabbed my card like that it's hard to say whether I'd get physical, get loud, call a cop, call security or what I'd do.

*****

I'd love to tell that person to let go of my card or you're gonna pull back a bloody stump ;-)

You don't grab my wallet without my permission!!

You don't grab my card without asking permission, first, either!!

When you demand to know my password, I'd probably say something like, "Go to he(double toothpicks)"!! Or worse!

Go back to the store, with a smile on your face. I'd refer to the problem, if the same cashier.

If the cashier remembers, which probably she will, she'll be on your side, I'm sure ... you may well get an expression of regret, perhaps an apology, or even a compliment.

ole joyful

I actually had a recent very vivid dream about someone crowding me while I was swiping my card and trying to key in my pin number. I asked that he give me some space and he got even closer to the card reader and made a taunting face at me. In my dream I was very angry and decked him. Ended up in jail and banned from my favorite store for life. Maybe that's why I said that I'd call 911 :-) I try to keep my hands to myself, good thing I can't really hurt people with thoughts.

I have never been arrested!

I would have stopped the line, asked for the manager.

NO ONE has the right to grab your card, your purse, your items, move your cart, ask for your pin, tell you you're too slow, be rude.

It's your transaction. It's over when it's over. Everyone behind you has to wait.

We all wait sometimes for someone, for a computer glitch, the register needs change, the register tape ran out. Whatever it may be.

No one has the right to harass you.

If someone grabbed my card I'd demand it's return and ask that person to leave before I filed a complaint. Using someone else's card is a crime. Grabbing it is a crime. The cashier should have stood up for you.

Original poster here--It's nearly a week later and I must admit it seems unimportant now. I think I was angry at MYSELF mostly for not speaking up appropriately in the situation. I wish I'd had a snappy comeback for the woman who took my card- "Hey, give that back or I'll call the police". I have been back to the store since and had no problems. I even went thru the same cashier's lane and she didn't say anything. So my tempest in a teapot has blown over.