I looked for recent posts from her and there were none. Too bad! I remember there was a kerfuffle although not what it was about.... Frozen veggies? I am so sorry that she isn't back. She provided so much knowledge so generously.

Does she have a blog or other forum where she is active?

I missed the kerfuffle, but I also did not think she was thin-skinned (since she was a teacher and used to students) and not likely to leave just because of an insult from one random person. I also got a lot of good tips from her, and she answered certain questions of mine that no one did.

If you Google grainlady, there is a listing for Frugal Village but one needs to log in to it. Maybe you all can find something that way. She was before my time on Houzz. Good luck!

Nobody would be thick-skinned enough to keep posting after that vicious slapdown grainlady received. It was devastating to her and she was clearly hurt and confused by the mean-spirited post, posting once more to apologize for "boring us" or whatever words it was her attacker used.

I and others were astounded by her attacker's arrogance and nastiness, and rushed to support her, but she only posted a few times more before leaving the GW forums.

Having been the recipient of this guy's meanness myself, I really couldn't blame her. He single-handedly caused the Household Finance forum to pretty much shut down within months after he joined it. We used to have some spirited but polite discussions; but all of us gradually stopped posting after a while. Who needs that kind of condescending attitude from somebody anonymous to ruin one's day?

The guy who did it was warned by the moderators, had to create a new acct, and still posts here on GW, but is now much more restrained in his posts. He's still pretty negative and know-it-all, however. He's just more polite about it.

Hopefully using her knowledge and talent writing a book or a memoir. : )

She did go off topic often but always interesting. Maybe just exhausted by some comments that were blunt after her well thought out posts.

We often forget that a 'general discussion' clicked link is in the upper left and often some 'webers' just cruise and post willy-nilly without really reading the content.

I also missed the "kerfuffle" and I do miss her. She added a lot to the cooking forum.

I haven't been around much, but I did enjoy grainlady's contributions. Maybe someone will get through to her and convince her that we really would like her back.

Madonna

I missed the fuss and miss her a lot. Fantastic woman, very kind, patient and knowledgeable.

I come to the forum almost daily, but never saw the thread that caused grainlady to leave. I too miss her very much. Her knowledge was vast and deep, and she shared it generously. I do wish she'd return.

Gainlady? I call her Brainlady. Many of her postings can be lifesaving for many members. That's why it is important and essential for her to ignore cyber bullies and continue posting. God gives her that talent for a reason.

I also miss Lou (Haw307). A great cook who contributed a lot. Lou is also a world-class award winner artist/sculptor. Lou was relentlessly bullied by many nasty members.

dcarch

There must be posts missing from the offending thread, because as it reads now it started to go downhill when she flipped out over a simple - and possibly legitimate - response to one of her suggestions. But it's a shame she's gone. She had a lot to say, some interesting to me and some not, but she wouldn't monopolize a thread unless she was the intended focus, so she was easy enough to skip over when "not". Like I said on another thread, sometimes it's just time to go. But I hope she returns.

Yes I miss Grainlady and Lou too! I do wish they both would return and make the Cooking Forum what it was....Grainlady's knowledge and Lou's knowledge and humor.

So my nosiness kicked in for a bit.... I think I found the problem thread but I am not sure. It didn't seem so awful. Although if she was dealing directly with helping hungry people - her sensitivity makes sense. Mostly though I was impressed by the time and expertise she brought to so many different threads.

I hope all is well and she has found another way to use her knowledge to help people.

I found the post last night and linked it, but somehow it is gone this morning. It's also missing some of the replies, so it's been "edited" by either the posters themselves or by Houzz. Even before edits, it was a relatively civil exchange, IMO, except the part where Grainlady called us "food snobs" and said we embarrassed her.

Here it is again, we'll see if it stays.

http://ths.gardenweb.com/discussions/4028525/supermarket-frozen-vegetables

Annie

Wow, what a lot of ta-do over sorting frozen mixed veggies. Personally, I never thought of that but then I tend to eat most of my veggies fresh. I keep frozen peas and frozen corn for the occasional sprained ankle or knee. ;-) But my last trip to CostCo I brought home a huge bag of pistachios, then had a swollen knee issue and that bag of frozen 'stachios were da' bomb.

Some old dogs are best left sleeping. Visitors to on line forums can be transitory.

Thank you annie, although I didn't need the link myself. I was following and rereading that thread closely at the time and remembered most of the idea of the individual posts. Like annie, I saw Nothing offensive in the thread. The idea of separating mixed veggies by hand to create an economic
variety seemed unnecessary or inefficient to several posters, but none
said it in a nasty or rude manner. It was clear at the time that grainlady was severely offended but I was surprised that after reflection she didn't return. Even though offended, I doubt that grainlady was thinking of annie when she made the snob remark. Of course, it never even crossed my mind to think of any one here as a food snob.

That thread does not match the description that Jakkom gave regarding an "attacker's arrogance and nastiness" - also, Jakkom did not post on that thread, and she said she rushed in to defend her when she was attacked. So there must be a different thread. I never saw the "frozen foods" thread before, and I never saw the attack thread either. I still think that a decision to leave and not return for such a long time is not dependent on one thread. I actually did enjoy reading the "frozen foods" thread. I was never poor as a child, but I did go through a period of poverty when I first moved to San Francisco at age 22 and had a lot of difficult getting myself established. I lived in a lot of different communes at that time and did get food stamps for a few months while I was trying to get work as a clothing designer. I did have offers to work in Manhattan, but I wanted to stay in San Francisco, where it was more difficult for me to find work. I think it would be much more difficult to be old and poor than what I experienced in my early twenties.

BTW, I do not miss Lou (Hawk) at all, as I was on the receiving end of some of his own insults, to which I never responded and merely ignored but I still considered the insults to be childish and uncalled for. I did not care for his recipes either, but I never said so before.

I've also never considered anyone here a food snob - but there are people who want to try to help others improve their cooking styles and methods. That does not equate to snobbery, however.

Yes, I've always been puzzled when people refer to the frozen vegetables thread. Grainlady put up with a lot worse than anything in that thread, so it makes sense if there was another thread that's gone.

In any case, I wish she would come back.

Any personal remark in answer to a question, remember, can be easily mistaken for a cyber bully remark even though it may sound innocent to other posters. This may be the case for Grainlady. But why in the world was such a remark necessary in the first place?! Certainly it wasn't helpful or necessary. I've received my share, but just assume there are different standards, and plan to try hard to follow Lars' method of ignoring.

I have gotten too many "----But why in the world was such a remark necessary in the first place?! " comments over the years. "-------follow Lars' method of ignoring." I don't ignore them because I find them rather entertaining..

dcarch

One of my mother's wise aphorisms is that an apology is never wasted.

It doesn't matter whether the offending posts were removed, or if the issue was more that one of those "buttons" got pushed and there was an overreaction, rather than putting someone down for taking offense, it's so easy to just say, "I didn't mean to offend you. I apologise."

I think there are times in my life or particular situations where I can let things role off my back. And others where things sting. Or get me royally POed. I agree with Plllog - apologies can go a long way. Especially when dealing with the oddness of friends/strangers online.

That said I hope she is ok. And I miss her presence. I hope she comes back.

Nobody would be thick-skinned enough to keep posting after that vicious slapdown grainlady received. It was devastating to her and she was clearly hurt and confused by the mean-spirited post, posting once more to apologize for "boring us" or whatever words it was her attacker used.

Talk about alternative facts! Nothing could be further from the truth. She left because of a thread on this forum about frozen veggies.

You can check her member page to see the last threads she posted on.

What Jakkom posted is the first I've heard of anything like that. Apparently, Jakkom was the only person to see this happen, perhaps the thread was pulled quickly? Everyone else is under the impression it was the frozen vegetable sorting comment. I was bullied much worse for putting ketchup on my meatloaf...HAHA! I remember being called "trailer trash" smh

>> She left because of a thread on this forum about frozen veggies.>>

I don't know why she left, but the thread I am referring to was NOT about frozen vegetables. It was on an entirely different subject, and the attack on her was extremely and deliberately personal.

Nobody has any right to say to someone like grainlady, words to the effect of "your posts are boring and nobody's interested in what you have to say."

Actually I did check her page. All it said was no recent activity.

Thank you Jakkom. I remember something or other vaguely. That was the thread I couldn't find.

I vaguely remember seeing a post that I thought was rather mean spirited to grainlady, but can't remember any details. I hope she does come back, she really knows about breads & flours. I enjoyed reading her explanations for the how/why something did what it did. I don't post very often, but I have followed this forum for years. I really hope she comes back.

It seems ridiculous that one person could ruin it for hundreds of people that read her posts and got help from her.

I sure do miss her.

Actually I did check her page. All it said was no recent activity.

You have to click on comments.

I feel cheated out of her presence. I'm going to see if I can find her.

You can tell her that we speak lovingly of her often. I too wish she'd come back.

Yes, I so miss her and her posts. Sometimes I may disagree with something posted, but I would never insult or demean someone over it. The only time I really was, shall we say perturbed, was when some, a newbie, jumped on what the transplant doctor and team told me to do with certain items in my late husband's diet after he received his new heart. They really jumped all over it. Well, he lived longer than the others who had transplants at the same time and didn't die due to his diet.

Madonna

Doesn't anyone adhere to SOB...as in Scroll on By?
She was pedantic and Oh so detailed....but she knew her stuff, no info she gave was suspect....because she is a real expert.
The very fact that she would recommend sorting frozen vegetables is an indication of how detail orientated her posts were.
I find myself want to ask her something....and then going.."Oh! Snap!"

She was such a valuable and valued member of this group. Come back please!

Is anyone willing to name the stinker who destroyed a lot for the rest of us where Grainlady is concerned ??? If so, then we all can be sure to ignore his/her posts and perhaps he or she would leave.

"---- If so, then we all can be sure to ignore his/her posts and perhaps he or she would leave.---"

Perhaps not. Some stinkers here have also contributed a lot of good posts.

There is always two sides to every story. We don't want to start to have people taking sides like what happened in the past.

dcarch

This is her final comment on that frozen veggie thread.

And now I'm embarrassed to be here among such food snobs who give such trite and self-centered responses since they don't have to make these kind of food choices, and yet it offends them somehow..... Be thankful it's not you. They, on the other hand, are grateful someone like me gave them the tip and recipes for how to use the frozen vegetables, and the difference it made for some variety in their diet.

-Grainlady

She was offered an apology for an unintentional offense. She chose to ignore it. C'est la vie.

Apparently, I missed the entire drama that led to a member's exit.

But, this isn't 'World of Warcraft.' So let's put out the torches and tame the mob mentality. I'd like to believe we're still a civil group.

Sol

It has been about a year and a half. Yes, she is missed by many. I doubt there is just one 'stinker'. Probably cumulative over time, then she was done and made what seemed like a snap decision. I think she deleted her final post but it has been some time so my memory has faded a bit.

I was unaware of other forums she was active in until trying to contact her soon after her departure. Often 5-6 lengthy posts a day for ten years can be time consuming and must have been a snapping point where her time could be better used in her community. Lucky for those in her community she is teaching and giving her time and effort first hand, in person.

On my other gardening forum, not houzz, a senior member with extensive knowledge and very appreciated, had a member needle poking. I call it 'tailgating'. For a few months he was posting two or three words, short and sweet immediately following every post of hers. Confusing until after one lengthy posting, he posted 'yawn'. It was immediately clear he had been insulting intentionally for all those months.

I believe he was terminated. Gone.

One thing that became difficult to ignore was the misunderstanding of poverty. As if no other can grasp that so many are in dire need. And that so many have poverty first hand in their past. Either childhood or stories from Grandparents. Or first hand in our communities and how we all contribute being more fortunate now.

No, I don't think she can be found. Only Houzz forum staff know her e-mail addy. She did have a short lived blog. And was on a 'self-sufficient' other forum with a group of appreciative followers for a short time. If she is elsewhere on another group that is practicing self-sufficient practices with food stock pantries and on a tight budget for various reasons, she may have a new user name.

Calling anyone on this cooking forum a 'food snob' was so out of character being stock makers, gardeners, stretching a dollar and composting, minimal garbage waste....eating fresh whole foods, not processed, learning and avoiding big Ag...

I don't believe it was the frozen veggie postings. She did not even say it was a practice of hers, just what she was helping dollar-stretched seniors try and get variety in their diet and meals on a budget. Avoids the boredom of same-same.

My mother does that because dad does not like broccoli and cauliflower in her soups. Re-bags for a side veggie. Not in soups.