While you're stuck there, there's always the "nice her to death" plan. Make some cookies & take them over (with your spouse) & tell her now that she's settled in you wanted to welcome her to the neighborhood. Be extremely nice but start babbling about her private life, like giving advice on stuff you've heard going on, anything you can think of. Like, "Don't worry, honey, we heard the whole thing, we were talking about it for hours and we think... I hope you and (insert name) have worked out that (???) issue... Did I tell you we ordered a complete set of Wayne Newton CD's? I can't wait till they get here so we can crank it up. I know how you like music!..." all the while complimenting anything you can find to say something nice about, cute kids, pretty vase, whatever. You get the idea. Only the most dense and/or truly inconsiderate person wouldn't get the hint and she still might not like you but can't say anything except how nice you are. Worst case scenario, she just continues to be obnoxious, but you've not risked seeming confrontational and haven't complained to her. All you've said are supportive, positive (yet hopefully uncomfortably nosy) things. At least you can show her not all white people are racist.

Glad I found this site as I'm having issues with my downstairs neighbors. I moved into my apartment two years ago. It's the second floor apartment in an older house. The other apartment is on the first floor. The couple that live there are in their early 70's but the guy thinks he's still in his twenties. He spends all his free time working on his truck or washing it. Now I have no problem with someone taking care of their vehicle but what I do have is someone having no respect for someone else's property. This guy washes his and his wife's trucks EVERY day. I'm not kidding. When I'm not home, he'll park his truck in my spot and wash it so when I get home, my space is full of puddles that I have to walk through. If I am home, he pulls his truck up right along side mine and as he's hosing down his vehicle, the water is spraying all over mine. The sun dries the water spots and they're hard to remove, especially on the windshield. He also parks his truck so that the hitch ball hangs over onto my parking spot which is directly behind his. He has plenty of room to pull up and not be so close to my spot. It's hard enough squeezing into my space because there is a tree behind it and a wall along one side (part of a building). The second issue I have is that he plays 60's music 24/7. I have gotten up at 2 or 3 in the morning to use the bathroom and the music is playing. It's loud enough that I can name every song and sometimes he turns it up loud enough that my coffee table vibrates. Asking him to lower it does no good because another neighbor told me that the guy that lived in my apartment before me went downstairs and knocked on the neighbor's door to ask him to lower the music. The neighbor wouldn't answer so he asked him from outside the door. When that didn't work, he went back downstairs and knocked again. This time, the neighbor opened the door, swore at him, and punched him in the face. In fact, the neighbor told me this himself. It was like he was giving me a warning not to complain about his music. My landlord is completely useless; he knows he plays the music and he can see him washing his car every day (the landlord has a business on the first floor opposite the neighbor's apt). I'm a single girl living alone and I don't like confrontation, especially since this guy has a chip a mile long on his shoulder and is always ready for a fight. I have been living with it for two years and telling myself that maybe he doesn't realize he's spraying my car or that he's parking with part of his hitch in my spot (though he can easily see it when he sits on his deck every night) but it upsets me anyway. This past week I bought a new SUV. I went out early yesterday figuring he'll wash his truck while I'm gone. I got home and parked my car and a half hour later he came out and started washing his right next to mine and sprayed my new SUV all over except for the driver's side. I was furious. The only thing I can do to get some satisfaction is to wait until he washes his car and then go outside and wash mine next to his so that his vehicle will be sprayed. Then if he comes out and says something, I can explain that the same thing happens to my car when he washes his truck. If that doesn't work, then I have more vengeful ideas though he wouldn't know they came from me.

oh my new compatriota how much better I feel...I am not alone in the neighbors from h---. The difference is I have every single one of your complaints all wrapped up up in one set of smelly,disrespectful,intolerable,inconsiderate to quote a previous posting : animals pretending to be human. They stink and it is not just the cooking of the daily meal there is a trash odor and a sour unwashed human edge to it on top of the food , the child screams high pitched wails and stomps all over at all hours,and she ( I think its a she I honestly cant tell if the child is a she or not but "s/he" has a lot of jewlery on arms and ears despite being so young so I think its a girl)must ahte baths because there is often this loud splashing rubbig sound when they have filed the tub with water and then ear pearcing screams for about 15 minutes.Vaccuming o for it to be 10 am no the I suppose female adult run the vacum at 8am sunday morning!The great thing is its gets me to early mass but this week she did it sat morning at 8 am and my pregnant daughter was here visiting and she flipped. She is very worried about my health because of the noise and smell and my heart condition.That is another problem in the h-ll here.We chos r this place because they promiced us handicapped reserved parking places -put up two signs and for 3 years no problem. Suddenly this woman moves in with a boyfriend who has handicapped placard and she complains to the township that the management gave us reserved spaces.Some guy at the township says PA doesnt resrve handicapped spaces So the manager takes our apartment # off the signs. I call the police who confer with DMV who states the township guy was wrong and in PA if its a posted private property they can indeed reserve the space. I go to managers and tell her and she says well I dont want to post a private property signs we dont want anymore signs up but if some one parks in your spot just take the plate # and Ill write them a letter saying it reserved. It keeps happening but a ltter a week later wont help the situation at the time I dont think her letter will do squat!I need to get the law from the cops and go to corporate and get those spots marked as reserved -I just adds to my frustration at the whole mess and feeling like I have no rights about anything.It sounds like going to corporate helped this guy but I also dont want to PO the manager shes anice gal. Its such a mess and I kniw apartment living requires tolerance but why do only I have to tolerate anything and not these other u know whats

I think that with people like your neighbour you really have to put your foot down. You do what you can practically do (not using ear phones) and then you tell them that you have made some changes and that is all you can do. If you continue to appease a him he will continue to make demands and wants to rule the building. Perhaps you are an easy target. I moved into a place and after 20 years of apartment living and never having a neighbour complain about my noise, my new downstairs neighbours started complaining about my noise. That was that my tv was too loud and they could hear it in their lounge under mine and in their bedroom. The night the wife came up to complain I had the volume on 4 when 2 is silent. I couldn't hear it in the next room of my own apartment. I moved the tv away from the wall and then next day told them what I had done. However, I then added - I have done all i can do. My television is not at an unreasonable volume and I have to be able to live in my home. If it continues to be a problem then you may have to contact the body corporate (as they own their apartment) and the owners of my apartment (as I rent which i think also explains their power feeling) and organise to have the sound proofing improved in the floors (which are floor boards with carpet). Other than that I do not think an indepenent body would think the volume of my tv was unreasonable. I really got the idea that these people were going to keep coming up with things if I didn't put my foot down. They did it all in a very nice way - but this is often passive aggressive behaviour to get their own way. So don't get pushed around. Ps they haven't complained since. But I also doubt they want to fork out money to fix the sound proofing. The only thing now is that I notice their sound more - one being the sound of the husband talking on the phone and they both irritate the hell out of me now. Oh yes prior to this complaint they complained about my son's basket ball hoop in the common garden area and their cat bullies my cat all the time and attacked me when I tried to stop it coming in to my home after my cat so I had to get a tetnus shot and go on antibiotics. When I origanally told them about what had happened with their cat their was no offer to pay my medical bills. So I am glad that I then set them straight and made it clear that I was not going to put up with their constant nit picking. They have been super nice since but I now don't want a bar of them. Well good luck and stand up for yourself.