Help with a loud neighbor

12 years ago

Hello! I have a concern I was wondering if any of you could help me. My wife and I recently moved into a duplex. When we moved in the other half was vacant. We lived there for two weeks and our new neighbors moved in. They were loud during the move, which we didn't mind because they were just getting settled in and moving is hard enough as it is without getting noise complaints from neighbors. So we figured we would give it about a week for them to get everything settled. It has been two weeks since they have moved in and nothing has changed. The woman who moved in, let's call her April, doesn't have a job so she is home all day long and screams at people on the telephone. My wife is a student and works from home, so it is really difficult for her to concentrate on her work because she can her EVERYTHING April says because she talks SO LOUD. April also has a daily fight with her husband/boyfriend that shakes the drywall. April constantly screams at her toddler and baby for things they do that annoy her, and she plays blasting rap music that causes the floor to vibrate. And at night, April and her previously mention husband/boyfriend have the loudest "relations" I have ever heard.

Normally, I would have already brought all of this to her attention and asked that she try to keep it down. However, there are extenuating circumstances. Now, I want to preface this by saying that in no way, shape, or form am I racist toward ANY person. I pride myself in being open-minded and tolerant. My wife and I are white and April and her family are black. This still would not be an issue if my wife and I had not heard the following telephone conversation April had with one of her friends, "Yeah, we moved next to whitey! They are the whitest crackers I have ever seen." Now, as you can imagine, this made us a little angry, and could potentially complicate our predicament. I say this because April is OBVIOUSLY racist again us. How are we supposed to have a civil conversation about keeping down her noise levels when she feels that way about us without so much as having been introduced? What do you think I should do?

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Comments (5)

graywings123
12 years ago
I think you should move. Honestly, from what you have written, I don't believe you can resolve this by talking with the neighbors or complaining to the police or landlord. It would require too many changes on the part of your neighbors, people who probably would be unwilling to change anyhow. Tolerate it to the end of your lease and move on.
mike_kaiser_gw
12 years ago
I would agree with Graywings, you're unlikely to change their behavior and certainly not their prejudices. The next step is to develop an exit strategy. Review your lease and whatever laws govern landlord/tenant relations in your state.
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Unless you're in a student ghetto or the like, this is absolutely unacceptable and you don't need to put up with it whatsoever. You don't just have a right to sleep, you also have a right to a reasonable amount of "quiet enjoyment" to the premises, which is probably a clause in your lease but always presumed even if it's not there. You have a right to be able to read or study or pay attention to a television show; not to mention to sleep. Follow these steps. If it stops at any point, you stop proceeding along with the steps. If it continues, you continue; between some steps you will want to wait a day or two (use your own judgement, but don't wait too long). Also: immediatly, start a log of disturbances; date, time, duration, type of disturbance. Helps if you can also get some witnesses to the noise (as many as possible) Step 1: Talk to the neighbours. Step 2: Send a letter to the neighbours; keep a copy. Be polite. Do not threaten etc. Step 3: Talk to your superintendant, if you have one. Otherwise skip. Also, talk to other tenants who might also be affected by the noise: those sharing walls or floors with the offender's apartment, as well as apartments facing outside areas where noise is taking place, or sharing walls with stairwells where noise is taking place. Chances are, someone else is also annoyed and just hasn't been sure about what to do. Tell the person what you are doing, and ask them if they would like to help by doing some of the same things or if you can at least mention to the landlord that they are also disturbed. It's best if you can get them to join you in the steps though. Step 4: Talk to landlord. Step 5: Send letter to landlord. Keep a copy. Important to wait several days at this stage. Step 6: Call police during late night violation. Hereafter, call police every time there is late night noise. Police will do nothing first couple of times. Step 7: Investigate laws in your area. You have now established all kinds of stuff; letters to the parties, police records, etc. You also have a log of the disturbances. Depending on where you are (I'm in Ontario), you can do all sorts of things; apply for rent rebate because landlord failed to provide quiet enjoyment, sue the tenant in small claims for disruption of quiet enjoyment rights, etc. Good luck!
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I have followed your story - can't imagine how you stay in your lane and keep yourself going. I'm sorry you lost your husband who was probably a friend for many years. Fervently hope that you land with a cushion, fincancial security, a comfortable place to be and some caring people in your life. I hope you have a safe path forward.
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Tiffany, purpleinopp Z8b Opp, AL
12 years ago
While you're stuck there, there's always the "nice her to death" plan. Make some cookies & take them over (with your spouse) & tell her now that she's settled in you wanted to welcome her to the neighborhood. Be extremely nice but start babbling about her private life, like giving advice on stuff you've heard going on, anything you can think of. Like, "Don't worry, honey, we heard the whole thing, we were talking about it for hours and we think... I hope you and (insert name) have worked out that (???) issue... Did I tell you we ordered a complete set of Wayne Newton CD's? I can't wait till they get here so we can crank it up. I know how you like music!..." all the while complimenting anything you can find to say something nice about, cute kids, pretty vase, whatever. You get the idea.

Only the most dense and/or truly inconsiderate person wouldn't get the hint and she still might not like you but can't say anything except how nice you are. Worst case scenario, she just continues to be obnoxious, but you've not risked seeming confrontational and haven't complained to her. All you've said are supportive, positive (yet hopefully uncomfortably nosy) things. At least you can show her not all white people are racist.
dreamgarden
12 years ago
You might be able to get out of your lease earlier if you were to tape record the racist conversations and give a copy to the landlord/housing authority/etc.

However it sounds like a real headache and I would probably do what graywings and purpleinopp suggested:

Play nice and try to get by until its time to renew the lease.
beasty
12 years ago
I like purpleinopp's idea -- you could also have a loud conversation about her private life next to a shared wall in your duplex. That way you don't risk her yelling at you about "eavesdropping".

Help with a loud neighbor

Comments (5)

graywings123

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