I think it depends on how it works out for them at the end of the day. Honestly though, as a woman, I am somewhat ambivalent about it myself.

DH doesn't like it, and even though he knows I don't like it either because of the commercialization he still asks me if I want a present. I guess he's trained well.

Neither of us like it and we ignore it. We treat each other well every day instead of celebrating phony retail holidays.

My DH and I are on the same page about Valentine's Day and any other 'obligatory' gift giving holiday, pseudo and otherwise - we feel no obligation and only participate if something strikes us at that moment. I do love finding funny V Day cards for him and we kind of have a running theme going with that - we've been known to recycle cards we've given each other in years past when life events circle 'round again. We date them when we sign (always just our initials) then redate them for re-use so it's kind of a V Day journal of sorts. But gifts? Flowers? Candy? Fancy dinner out? Nope.

We always put off Valentine's Day later-for a weekend trip for just us, but we don't say it's for Valentine's Day, but I guess it started out years ago because of Valentine's Day. We do nothing on Valentine's Day.

I doubt that most guys care for it, and many probably don't like it b/c it can create unmet expectations.

I think its silly and my DH doesn't care one way or the other. He usually sends flowers or candy or something, but I don't really care if he does or doesn't. We do nice stuff for each other throughout the year and our gifts to each other pretty much always involve experiences we do together (e.g. we'll plan spa trips for each other) and we do that as the mood strikes.

Valentine's Day is a family celebration in my house. I make a very fancy meal with a dessert (which isn't generally a thing with us), and each of the kids gets a card and an inexpensive gift. DH and I don't exchange gifts. We're all very happy with this arrangement - time together and no big expectations. Neither DH nor I enjoy the commercial version of the holiday.

I do think Dad enjoyed it... but he knew it was just a day. Both my parents realized that. As for me, I've always been ambivalent about it even when I was "involved with" someone. It should not be about a "day" reminding a significant other about the other significant! (Hallmark Holiday??? But if it works for you, fine.)

PS don't go out to restaurants on that date. Restaurants know they will be overwhelmed and will serve you with a dumbed down menu served by those staff who haven't had the longevity on site to be able to opt out for their own private celebrations that night.

I think V Day is easier for men because the gifts are predetermined -- roses, chocolate, jewelry. Not like birthdays and Christmas when they actually have to come up with something you might want! I agree the whole thing is stupid.

I remember the year Dad gave a Christmas gift to Mom: roses once a week for a year, minus Valentines day week and minus Mother's day week. He (and she) realized that those two occasions were Hallmark Holidays, and neither were keen on participating. They truly knew that their commitment was beyond such dates.

Dad loved to cook and I know for Mother's Day (in many a year) he knocked the socks off all of us with what he prepared. He may have done so for Valentine's day, too, or he may have collaborated with her. Those days were a few decades ago. Both have since passed on.



When
I was newly married Valentine's Day meant something to me. We didn't
have any money since DH was still in school so the two of us would make a
special dinner together and exchange cards and sometimes little gifts.

I
preferred those lovely little celebrations to what Valentine's Day has
become. I don't want a bouquet of roses when I know the price has been
tripled due to the holiday. I don't need any more jewelry or candy and I
don't even care if I get a card. I have finally convinced DH to stop
giving gifts and now we've returned to our early days - the two of us
just have a special meal at home.

I think part of reason why I
don't really care for this day is due to timing. We celebrated
Christmas, a month later is my birthday, two weeks after that is
Valentine's Day, and then two weeks after that is DH's birthday It just
became a little too much. I don't want to ignore it, just keep it
simple.

I asked my sweet DH of 34 years just a minute ago. He cocked his head, got a quizzical look on his face, thought a minute, and said, " I never thought about it, but it probably depends on the guy, and how long a couple has been together. Early on, it can be romantic, but also stressful, if you're not sure just what and how much to gift your love. Later on, it gets easier, but not necessarily as romantic."

(LOL) I'm thinking by "more romantic earlier in a relationship and marriage" guys are thinking about their romantic rewards later that evening! But, he did say that women should buy something special for her guy, too. That it should be reciprocal.

Personally though, we're kind of 'celebrated out' by Valentines Day. With first Christmas, then NYE, our anniversary is January 15th, my birthday is February 4th and his is the 8th. By V Day, we're a bit over it all. I'll make a special dinner for us. He may stop off for some grocery store roses, as I don't like him spending those inflated prices for a florist's dozen roses . . . or cards. And no gifts. Restaurants are too crowded and rushed on V Day for me, plus we go out for our anniversary and birthdays. Don't get me wrong, we're both romantics, but we don't need Valentines Day for it.

We ignore it, and have for most of our 35 years together.

We ignore it too and basically consider it a holiday for those who are just dating. When you're married, every day should be Valentine's Day.

It's always been a fun holiday around my house. Before kids, out for dinner, the usual. Once the kids came, we started having a special dinner (hold your breath: meatloaf and pink mashed potatoes- the kids loved it! (it has led to all color of mashed potatoes depending on holiday)) and tea party with a special tea set, big red heart cookies, and Reese's peanut butter cups. DH usually buys flowers, but I could care less. It's turned into a family party, and the kids still come home for it.

How wonderful for you all, Maddie! I love it.

It's kind of fun for us too. We don't make a big deal out of it, because as others have said, you should express your love daily. On the other hand, what's wrong with a day that recognizes the special ones in your life? My mom and dad always did something for us for V-Day. Dad would usually get my sister and I small boxes of chocolates. Mom would fix a special dinner, etc. Hubby and I detest going out on V-D, but I usually fix a nice dinner or he will pick up take-out from a fav restaurant. Dessert too, which is not a usual happening at our house LOL.

When we were young it was important and even when the kids came. My DH would buy chocolates for all three even though two were boys. We exchanged cards and still do to this day. I'm not interested in the candy or flowers now. We have everything we need just being together for 57 years.

Well, now that I'm older and wiser, I have a much different idea of what constitutes romance than I did in my younger years. The hearts-and-flowers view of romance is not something I crave, but I do still feel that soft, special glow when I see that my DH has done something special for me. These days, "something special" can mean simply choosing words to communicate something to me in a thoughtful and kind way. Like he did today: Someone at my office is selling a nice-looking piece of furniture that he'd been interested in, but I didn't know if he would like this exact style. I texted him a photo and instead of simply saying "No thanks", his response was very gracious - telling me what he liked about the piece, but explaining what he'd rather have, and thanking me for thinking of him. I know - it probably sounds silly to some of you - but it's those seemingly small acts that fill my heart and kindle my love (and passion) for him.

That said, I have always loved the hearts-and-flowers routine on Valentine's Day! I don't need to actually get flowers, but I like seeing the images of pink and red hearts. I like remembering how it was when I was a child, and my daddy always brought home a box of heart-shaped candy for his little girl. I associate the day with happy feelings and pretty paper ... I even think fondly of the white paper doilies that I used to create my own Valentines, and these little cardboard Cupids.