"illegitimate"? You have GOT to be kidding me, right? Tell me there aren't people out there who still believe this. Hopefully, they're old enough to die soon before they pass that myth along. My granddaughter was not born from a marriage. Sadly, the parents did marry later, which was the dumbest thing I've seen happen since....., since, since, I'll get political. She will grow up to save us all from cancer, altzheimers, or toenail fungus. She's the best, however she got here and a blessing from God. Sorry, OT. For the original topic: If my best friend from work excluded me from the baby/wedding shower because I didn't "know" the kid, I'd be relieved. I see that as a grab for gifts. I would be more inclined for a baby, after the fact, wrap a bunch of Baby Wipes and diapers for when she has the baby, or after the wedding, a bottle of vodka.

Is it normal? Certainly not typical. I can sort of understand where he's coming from, but I think he's very mistaken in his perceptions of how his Ex will feel. Unless relations are very friendly, the wedding is large, and the Ex needs to bring the children, I can't imagine how an Ex would expect to be invited. Would I be happy about it? No. But I would trust him to deal with is Ex, and would just request that he word the invitation in such a way as to give her the option of a graceful refusal if she thinks an invitation is as wacky as you (and I) do. There are ways of issuing invitations that could make it clear that the invitation was issued out of courtesy and grace only, and that the recipient isn't really expected to attend. Something along the lines of "We certainly wouldn't want to insult you, so you're welcome to attend if you'd like to be there, and we'll mail you an invitation. It'll be a very small wedding - only 20 people or so - but DD might be more comfortable if you were there." Would I try to talk him out of it? I'd try to talk him into reconsidering, and if he wants to invite her, into modifying his wording.

According to ettiquette, you are not supposed to note where you are registered on any kind of invitation. That being said, I doubt the couple has even registered yet if this is only their engagement party. I would bring a gift; I think most people will. Yes, you may have actually come up with an idea on your own, but isn't that what gift giving is really all about! Here is a link that might be useful: Gift Ideas

I agree with Ida. As Robo says, the puppy wasn't totally under her control, which should happen in a dog park. I personally don't think she's being condescending or rewarding the boy. Both the puppy and the boy did what is natural to them, neither really did anything "wrong". Robo would simply be making a lovely gesture to the boy with a little treat from Penny! Robo would be teaching the lesson! I would give him $15 and a little something from Penny to the little boy. He may or may not have been hitting on you, but that's not a crime either.