I can honestly say that I don't know anyone that dense, thankfully. But if I did, and was still given something that I didn't want or couldn't eat, I'd thank them and in the same sentence let them know that I would be giving it away/it wouldn't go to waste.

End scene.

I have other peeves, unrelated and uninteresting.

The insistence that you take something that you so clearly expressed that you did not want tells me that you are dealing with people who simply don't listen to you. Maybe just ignoring their attempts to engage you in their agenda (to convince you that they make the best 'whatever' in the world). Are they trying to flirt with you or are they just really proud of their recipe?

It must have felt good to get that off your chest :-)

Learn to say "no" and put the unwanted items right back at the desk/front door of the donor.

Rhizo,.I have actually told someone who informed me that they would be bringing in some fried catfish for me that if they did, they might as well leave it outside for the stray cats that hang around, as that is where it was going to end up anyway. They brought it anyway and threw in some fried shrimp as well. This after a discussion about why I dont like any form of fish or seafood and NO I DON'T WANT ANY STUPID CATFISH!!!! At least the poor little strays ate well that night.

Pk- They definitely weren't flirting,they really truly thought that their special recipes could convert me. Or if they were flirting, they sucked at it, as a man telling me that I don't know what I like,but don't worry,he does, isn't exactly a good way to get me swooning. Neither is bringing in a giant bag of dried deer. I think for the most part,their intentions are good. It's just their comprehension that needs work. It's not a man exclusive thing though. This has happened to me and people I know with the culprits being both men and women,young and old,stranger or friend. And thank you, it did feel good to vent. :-)

I have health issues that require me to be extra careful of what I eat, including being allergic to olive oil and salt and nuts. A friend is to pepper, including ground pepper found in everything. The pepper one really blows my mind....and I have witnessed her swelling up from pepper and searching for her epi pen.

Amy, you gave me a good laugh.

I have a similar story, although not as extreme. My SIL was visiting, and she had candied ginger. I accepted a small piece and said it was good. Well, guess what my Christmas present was for the next few years? A pound of this candied ginger! I kept giving it away, how much of that can you eat, and really I didn't like it all that much.

Finally, I had to tell her that I was "no longer into the candied ginger." I didn't want her to waste money buying it and sending it to me. (We are thousands of miles apart, so it was expensive to ship it.)

First off, let's get something out of the way: "Rude" is a subjective term. Each person has their own definition and what one finds "rude" or its companion term, "offensive" and the levels/degrees of each is up to each person. What you did was perfectly fine, in fact you could easily have stepped it up a notch or two and not been rude.

Secondly, not everything homemade is better. In other words, just because you/they/it made it does not mean it's better than store-bought or someone else's.

Some people need a 4x2 betwixt the eyes to have things sink in. There are so many people who fancy themselves as a chef extraordinaire, when IMO they're nothing more than a TV dinner dropout. This is often accompanied with "My family just LOVES my poached oysters!!!!!!" Uh, yeah, but maybe they're tired of rousting through the neighbors' garbage cans.

Over the years I've laughed over an observance. Home Ec. teachers are about the worst cooks I've ever found. Goes well with the adage Those who can, do, those who can't, teach. I'm convinced that 95% or more of home ec teachers would be totally helpless if you took away their can opener and the frozen food section to say nothing of packaged salads and rotisserie chickens! And truth be told, I've never experienced one who can make more than passable fare. YMMV as they say but I've never found one. But I digress.

Some lines to brush up on include:

"Thank you for thinking of me but really, I don't have room in the garbage can for even a tidbit more!"

"My Doctor has me on a strict diet: NO GARBAGE!" (which I did have to use a time or two. Really shut her up. And actually, it's true enough as stated...)

"No thank you. I no longer enjoy vomiting."

I did think of an option if you really can't get yourself to say no to them. The holidays are approaching. (Need I say it???) Wrap it up and give it to them. And be sure to tell them how they're going to just LOVE it, "Promise!" Then if they are truly dense enough to offer you something after that, be sure to reply "Goodie! I'm couldn't think of a THING to give you for ______"

Oh Amy Amy Amy.......Lets talk!

Heck yes that happened to me also. Some people love to push food. Most times I would come up with a lie and say what Nanny did.

Now Nanny might be on a special diet but I'm not unless it's something I don't want to eat.

Diabetes, vegetarian, vegan, Adkins, irritable bowel syndrome, acid reflux, peanut allergy, etc. Anything I could think of to avoid it.

If they still gave it to me I would return it and say under normal circumstances I would try it, but I cannot or I might end up in the ER.

I would rather lie & ask God to forgive me than hurt someone's feelings.

Oh, if it's something my dogs will eat, I will take it home for the dogs and tell the person I ate it, loved it and what's their recipe.

I know that's terrible. I'm a push over.

What if they were propositioning you, would you have the same problem?

No is no, no thanks is no thanks. What's the problem? Telling the truth is always easier than making up a story or making light of the communication problem (on their end)

Pawprint,you old softie. Maybe I'll try your strategy,though it appears that neither of our strategies work. I guess if they want me to have a tub of collard greens,I'm getting the darn collard greens. Gag. I mean really,who was the first person to cook a pot of collard greens,smelled them cooking,and decided to eat them anyway?

I once had to square off against a very sweet lady who wanted me to have some homemade toffee. I don't like toffee. Even when I told her I don't like toffee, she kept saying "oh sweetie, it's no trouble, I want you to have it." Um,what? I think she was trying to confuse me until I was disoriented so she could shove it in my mouth. I ended up taking the stupid toffee and throwing it out. The same lady tried to force some peanut brittle on my sis. Sis tried your strategy, she said that one of her kids has a severe peanut allergy (not true). Toffee/brittle lady said, "one piece won't kill him for heavens sake." Yikes. It seems there's no winning against these people.

Saying "no" or "I don't like that" is direct,polite,and leaves no room for interpretation. Still doesn't work.

Taking the food and faking like you like it is risking being bombarded with more of the offending foodstuffs.

The people who can't take a straightforward no for an answer are probably the same people that say,"oh, just a little won't hurt you" when you tell them you can't have whatever they're pushing on you for health reasons.

Sigh. I guess resistance really is futile.

Cynic, your comment on inept home ec teachers trying to teach cooking made me think of another incident,completly unrelated to my original rant but just as annoying as the faux chef thing everyone seems to have going on. I have a portable elliptical at work. If someone comes in while I am on it, almost always someone has advice. Firstly, they all assume I am on it to lose weight. When in reality, I work a 12 hour night shift desk job, and I am on it simply to work some activity in when possible. That doesnt really bother me. Its not a far fetched assumption. But then they proceed to tell me their expert diet advice. This advice almost always starts with, "it's easy,all you have to do is......" This is annoying by itself, but it is exacerbated by the fact that these fitness experts are always extremely overweight themselves. If i wasn't able to amuse myself with the irony of such a scene,and if I gave a flip about what others thought about my weight,not only would my feelings be hurt by someone offering me unsolicited diet advice,I would most likely flip the ole *itch switch and tell them that if they're such experts, then they should start taking their own advice before dishing it out to people who don't want it. But now I digress. Seems like everyone is either trying to fatten me up or slim me down. What to do what to do?

Elmer, when I was 19, I was propositioned, by a stranger, who offered me 500 bucks to "have some fun" This charming exchange happened on Easter Sunday. In a Catholic church parking lot. Right before mass. He had a hard time believing that I wasnt interested. It seems that no really doesn't register for some people, whether it be food or "fun." However, the method I used to persuade the church pervert of my true feelings isn't an appropriate method to turn down unwanted food. I always say no to the food. I always end up with the food anyway. The truth may set you free,or it may be completly ignored. Depends on the doofus level of the dolt youre dealing with I guess.

Amylou

I think the food gifts are sweet, you must be a lovely person to get so many of those truckers bringing you gifts. Your polite declines show that you are a courteous person. But for those who bring you food anyway, why not donate it to a food pantry? It may be that the trucker's insistence might ultimately be a nice morsel on the table of a person or family that doesn't have enough to eat.

Lucille,

That's a lovely thought, but i'm not sure any local food pantries would take one random jar or bag of homemade mystery food.(the jerky looked and smelled absolutely horrid) Im not sure i know of any thay accept any sort of homemade food. When i volunteered in high school, we were told to decline any and everything that wasnt in original,unopened store packaging,including anything homemade. I guess the concern was for food safety. You never know what goes on in peoples kitchens after all. But, as I anticipate a huge wave of homemade "treats" this christmas,I'll look into it.

And it's really not the fact that they still bring the food that irritates me. Well, it is,but it's more the fact that they completly dismiss the fact that I don't like something,completly convinced that I don't know my own food preferences. It's the "oh no, youll like MY pickled turtle tails.really." that makes me want to screeeeeeeam.

I blame my mother for my bratty attitude about this particular subject. Common conversations with her as a child:

Me: mama I'm hungry

Mom: no you're not

Me: mama,I'm cold/hot

Mom: no you're not

Me: mama, I feel sick

Mom: no you don't

Me: mama, I don't LIKE Brussel sprouts/sauerkraut/beets,whatever

Mom: yes you do

She's a lovely woman. Really. She has made me appreciate the true value of adult independence, even if I still don't appreciate canned beets or Brussel sprouts.

I definitely turned it down, with a healthy dose of hot pink pepper spray,administered after the 4th "get away from me" I don't really remember if he was cute or not. I just remember the satisfaction of seeing him writhing in pain on the asphalt ,face covered in hot pink pain! (Although, given the circumstances, I would say that if he was cute, he wouldn't need to lurk in church parking lots propositioning random strangers) I should have taken his 500 dollars after I sprayed him. Hindsight.

My boss is VERY POPULAR. The students bring him junk food ALL THE TIME. He is a body builder and lives on protein bars/chicken/coffee. He is always gracious and thanks them. He then hands off the gift to the next hungry waif who comes through the door. If the gift giver returns and asks "how did you like it" he is honest and says "hey I appreciate it, but I really can't breach my diet, I can't eat just one____I would snap and spend the rest of the day at the local burger joint". That ends THAT students's gifts. It avoids the "oh but you will like______" back and forth and when people know you gave it away they never give you it again. Always say with a smile and a gentle voice and IF they are offended--well that is on them.

Amylou... LOVED your dialogue in OP! Grew up in a house where you could not "hate" a food item you never tasted.

When you told friend you've tried chow chow and didn't like it... that's where topic should have been dropped.

On deer meat... first time I ever had it, was like filet mignon?!? Probably tenderloin from some fat deer that ate all its meals in farmer's corn field. Was asked how I liked my steaks and it was rare, tender and NO "gamey" taste.

Brother usually does ONE charter boat fishing trip each summer. ONE time he gave me some frozen blue-fish filets... not my favorite fish, but small ones so not bad. After a few gifts of massive, FISHY smelling/tasting filets... well, I sorta forgot to bring a cooler along for the drive home?!?

Amy, you gave me my laugh for the day!!! I feel sorry for you, but boy I sure enjoyed your stories.

I have a neighbour who insists on dropping off food at my door when she makes soups, stews etc. They're far, far too salty and not to our taste at all. They go in the garbage. When she asks beforehand, I always refuse it, but often they just show up unannounced.

I have a couple members of my extended family who are like amylou's friends, but not about food.

The only thing that has worked for me is raising my voice and swearing. Then I get the stunned reply: " You don't have to use that tone and those words." And I reply, "Yes, yes I do, because you are not hearing my end of this conversation."

graywings - I've had to use that tone of voice sometimes as well.

. I was going out with a friend and she picked me up and she handed me half a dozen cookies all nicely wrapped up that she had made. She had been talking about these cookies and the recipe the day before and I said they sounded interesting. BUT - I didn't want any to try.

Why you ask? Because they had TOFU in them. I have a visceral reaction to tofu. It is gross, disgusting, yecchy looking, slimy! (I don't like mushrooms for the same reason) Now, if I didn't know that there was tofu in them I probably would have tried them. But I knew and I told her no. I left them in the car when she dropped me off. I think she got the message.

Now, I did try her pumpkin cheesecake that she brought me and boy was that good. And there was no tofu, I asked. :)

Excuse me, but yes one bite of peanut or milk WILL hurt my grandson. In fact it is an Epi-Pen,Benadryl, going to the hospital emergency! ONE BITE CAN KILL YOU! Even just cookies that have been on the same pan or used the same spatula, even if they don't have any "bad ingredients" can do the same thing!

I have to say that my home ec teacher, circa 1973 taught me to make the best lasagna! My kids still beg me to make some for their freezers. It did have dried noodles and ricotta from the plastic carton but otherwise was not an easy recipe.

My grandson is also allergic to peanuts and had a reaction once from a Snickers wrapper that his dad threw into the car wastebasket. Food allergies are nothing to mess around with.

This brings back memories of my ex-husband. When he's in charge of the grill, he cooks all the steaks rare to medium-rare, no matter how people like it. Medium, or medium-well, forget it. Of course, he says that anything over medium rare will ruin the steak. Doesn't matter who's eating it, or their preference.

The last time he made steaks, people were putting theirs back on the grill or even in the microwave for a minute to cook it to their liking. But he's always right.

No wonder he is your ex and I like rare steak.

My wife took a group of co-workers to French restaurant in Minneapolis that a friend of hers worked at. One of the group ordered a steak well-done. After the waitress sent the order back, the chef/owner came out and said he refused to cook a steak any more than medium rare, and that person would either have to be happy with that, or order something else.

Sherry and pk-

No,food allergies are not to be taken lightly, which is why sis fibbed that one of her kids had a peanut allergy,to try to get brittle lady to back off. She figured that EVERYONE understands the severity of such ,even if they are to dense to take a subtle hint,or even to understand a blunt "no." I was really upset to hear brittle ladys response to her. "One piece won't kill him?!?!?!?" Really lady? How the hell do you know?!?! Goes to show the widespread nature of this problem. One of her kids does have some food sensitivities,not allergies, which are met with even more of the "oh, just a little won't hurt" garbage from know it all busybodies who have nothing better to do than bake disgusting creations and try to force feed them to kiddos when moms not looking, and then split before it's time to clean up the mess they caused. When this particular nephew of mine was 3 or 4, his paternal grandmother was on woman on a mission. At the time, the doc thought his skin and stomach problems might be caused by the red dye in some commercial food. So sis cut out everything with the dye in it. When her MIL found out, not only did she declare it dumb, she set out to prove it by picking out red mms and skittles and whatever other red candy she could find, and then slipping it to him when she would come visit.(she's very stubborn,one of those know it all hillbilly geniuses) I caught her one day,when I was at sis' house. We were just talking about how his skin and stomach would get better and then suddenly he would break out in a horrible,blistering rash and have diarrhea for days. I kept seeing her bending down right in his face, then I would see him chewing something. So I asked him "whatcha eating baby?" When he told me that his grandma had given him candy, I asked what color,he told me red. Only red. I asked how much, he just said "all day"

It all came together then. Kid is fine. Grandma comes for the day. That night, all hell breaks loose. Then it clears up. Grandma comes back, here we go again. She would always be gone before the effects would show,so when she was confronted, she still proclaimed in all her homegrown yokel wisdom that she didn't notice anything wrong with him, and told sis that she thought she was making it up for the sole purpose of depriving her son of the many joys of red candy. For this and other,much more agregious acts she and her husband have committed against their family, BIL and sis have completly cut them out of their lives. They don't even know my niece, their youngest. And it just as well. Poor thing is lactose intolerant, and I could see that heifer feeding her 10 pounds of cheese just out of spite.

Amylou, that was just awful. That was child abuse!

I always think of the movie Twilight, "I'm on a special diet." That's MY line and I'm sticking to it. :0)

I cook and bake most things from scratch. I used to drive people crazy where I worked. I brought in choc-chip cookies and one lady wanted to take them home......I think this is how Mrs. Fields got started. Just Kidding (yes I let her take a plate of cookies home, no one else got any...sheesh!)

I like Nicole's response: I'm on a special diet.

What's the psychology of people who *need* you to eat/drink/do what THEY want? I've heard this problem stated by members of AA being pressed to drink alcohol.

I have a great excuse -- I say I am deathly allergic to a food item (I am to corn) and it is an additive in most anything -- even as a coating to fruits, vegetables, and plastic/paper products! Just the smell of those items can set me off. I tell them I CAN'T eat anything that might set off my allergies because it will cause internal bleeding and joint pain for weeks. Then I do not eat anything. Plain, Period.

However, I still have in-laws that think it's ok to cook these items when I will be there. My Hubby has begun to go into the house first, check it out, and then we both leave if there is an offending item (i.e., BBQ, Corn on cob, popcorn, Chinese food, Mexican...) Missed a few Christmases this way....but I did not have to suffer.

Some people never learn, and then you just have to be firm - not rude, but steadfastly firm.