We live on the top floor with our son. We are usually homebodies and are always at home. We never have anybody over except for my son's cousins for sleepovers and only happens several months in between they have one. Our downstairs neighbor is a certified crazy lady. She came up to our door and in a loud voice accused me of trying to ruin her whole life. She said we were too noisy and we need to keep it down and she's been holding it in for months. I told her I was sorry she felt that way and I would work on it. I had a headache and I am not confrontational and a fight with this woman was not happening. The only thing that happened that was loud was my son falling over on his chair. Happened once that morning. She next came up and talked to my husband to complain about rolling noises she kept hearing. It was my son playing with a suitcase. She as pleasant to my husband and talked to him for twenty minutes. Talked about life and her kids. Also sneaked in that our toilet seat was loud and she could hear it downstairs. My husband said he had no idea and would try to remember. So we did. My son I cannot account for as he forgets all the time but he is reminded when I see or hear him in the bathroom. We have always been careful with our son making too much noise. He cannot run in hallways. No stomping or heavy footfalls, no screaming or yelling. No slamming of doors. No loud tv sounds. We even watch to make sure we put on our jeans carefully so our foot doesn't fall too loudly when it comes down. Anyway, she came up a third time during the day to complain to me. Apparently, we were too loud again. Only thing I was doing was working on dough on our dining table to make into Christmas ornaments. I wasn't even slapping it onto the table. Just kneading it a lot. No, hey um you're making too much noise again. Immediate screaming, yelling, cursing, and accused me also of rearranging furniture all the time. She threatened to call the cops on me. I told her to go ahead and do it. Later on, when I headed out, I could hear her clearly talking to the downstairs neighbor that she didn't know where I came from and what language I spoke to which I interrupted and said I spoke English very well and understand a lot of the language. She probably realized I had heard her and made an excuse that she was referring to me being psycho and that's why she said I didn't know anything. Oh, I am Asian by the way, full on Asian, immigrant, moved here permanently because my husband lives here. He is white by the way. I don't understand how she can call me psycho when our only interaction was 10 minutes from the 1st time she complained. She also talked to my husband pleasantly which surprised me and kinda made me a little mad that she was nice to him and not to me. I am home all the time, my husband works all day. So I honestly think she knows who she is going to talk to at certain times of the day. Daytime me, nighttime and weekends potentially my husband. We've lived in the same apartment for almost four years now. And while it might not be fun to be downstairs, her being so confrontational and being choosy with who to be that way with, has been no laugh trip either. We are being accommodating to her situation and we do not have any quarrels with other neighbors. If she can be nicer with her requests, with me not just my husband, then we would be more than happy to be more accommodating.

but don't make yourself too subservient and groveling before it's necessary--you DO have the right to play your guitar and sing; your kids DO have the right to walk around their home and to occasionally forget to walk for a few steps. Bcs your neighbor may also take advantage of you, or be really tough to establish some boundaries. Plus, you don't want to start mentally focusing on the noise from upstairs; she may start noticing (and minding) things that she would have simply not bothered to notice, before. Just say, "Hi, I'm the new neighbor, nice to meet you; please feel free to let me know of any problems." Then just live the way it's convenient for you. Don't assume there's trouble before it happens. For example--you said you wouldn't play in the mornings--well, int he mornings, above ME, you *could.* I get up pretty early on the weekday, and even on the weekend, I seldom sleep past 9; if I do, it's because I'm tired, and if you can wake me up w/ your guitar, then I ought to get out of bed anyway. And if you played in the LR, so as not to be over my bedroom, you could play acoustic guitar until 4am, bcs I wouldn't hear it. (I might hear it if I stayed up late int he LR, but I don't) I check in w/ my downstairs neighbors now and then as well; I've got 2 kids, a piano, and not particularly thick floors. Here's what they said to me: "I never hear anything to object to" and "If I ever do hear anything, it doesn't last very long." Both answers that indicate to me that, they hear us often. But that they don't object, bcs they understand that most of the time we're doing the best we can, and they believe an occasional awareness of your neighbors bcs of their living noise is just life. Don't make yourself too paranoid. You need to be able to enjoy your life.

the big thing about "limiting walking aorund' would be that, if you're up after 11, and your bedroom is directly above theirs, go out of the bedroom. Don't pace around the bedroom, or watch the TV in the bedroom if it bleeds through, etc. Don't do your craft project in the bedroom; take it to the dining room after hours. But to not get out of bed to go to the bathroom, or adjust the clock radio, or to not walk gently around the bedroom getting dressed for bed--that's too much. My new downstairs neighbor works a shift that ends late, so he sleeps much later than we do. I walk softly in the morning, and I leave the bedroom quickly. (Of course, I'm just getting dressed, etc., but I make an extr effort to be quiet in the bedroom) Also, maybe what's going on is that you are SO quiet, that when you do make noise, she really notices it. That happened to us. We didn't vaccum for literally months. Like, 4 months. We were just never home, or when we were, we were either eating dinner, or our toddler was sleeping & we didn't want to wake her. Then, when we finally DID vacuum, the guy below went nuts banging on the ceiling. And, we were on the receiving end of that. For years we had an elderly, not particularly mobile woman living above us. Then, she went into the hospital and died. And for about a year, there was NO ONE above us. Then, the sister who inherited put the apt. on the market, and vacuumed 2 or 3 times a week. Wow, was it loud! Of course, we were intelligent enough to realize that the problem was US and our skewed expectations. But I wonder if that's it--you're out a lot, so when you ARE home, it seems really loud to her. As for what your landlord will say to others, well, ask them. If I were them, I'd be hesitant to say something that made it hard for you to get a new apartment--that would be definite grounds for a libel suit. Perhaps they could argue that they're being factual, bcs there ARE noise complaints; but them passing the info on indicates that they've endorsed the complaint, which they haven't.

I can hardly find any posts online about my problem in this condo/apartment setting - probably because my severely disabled child is the quiet one vs the grown adult(s) in the unit above us! My child does have meltdowns periodically though we are blessed they have become few and far between as our past neighbors above us were only noisy in a reasonable "normal living" sort-of-way. Even when she would be up in the middle of the night in pain and screaming and crying we would try to get her out- if we could safely. They never complained they could hear her- maybe they are understanding considerate folk. NOW we have new neighbors (met one of them). The guy we met is a disgruntled grumpy person it would seem. My husband was very friendly with him and I tried to say hi as well. He was trying to get sympathy from my husband for his "woes" in life (about supporting his children, having to move from this nice area- he seemed to feel above us when we said we are grateful to move here from a very contrasting neighborhood). He divulged a lot of "poor me" information but was not otherwise friendly he rolled his eyes at me when I introduced myself, wouldn't acknowledge our child and was moving in at the middle of the night. We had to move in the middle of the night before due to my husband's work hours- but we always did so as considerately as possible- tried to cut it off at least by curfew, if had to be longer would be as quiet as mice. Not this guy & his roomie. They bang bash and smash while stomping across the floor. We tried bringing me up and got a "that's just how we walk" response. One of them stomps loudly when my kid was crying because she was exhausted from little sleep (due to their noise). They occasionally add loud music to the roster. The management here say he is "nice" as if that's true nor has anything to do with his actions. The thing is under our state law "quiet and peaceful enjoyment" in our lease is a grey area. We would have to prove they are being unreasonably loud and exercising vs walking etc. The management keeps sounding biased saying he is "polite" with them, (well so are we), and because he's a bigger guy (we've lived under bigger people before...) he gets pity. We have three people getting little to no sleep and a disabled child having disturbances throughout her day even though we pay out-the-nose to live here. We were told we could move to another unit nearby (and upstairs) but they upped the rent price on us in one day- are telling us we have to pay a second deposit, a whole months rent to live in the new place for 1/2 a month, plus fees and will have only two days to move or get penalized with more fees!!! It feels like we are being robbed and they are trying to say we are charged for breaking our lease yet we feel we are forced to do so to live our normal lives and get our money's worth! I'm trying to work with them to compromise so we can afford to just move (to the more expensive unit- we just had health bills crop up on top of slow season at work..). Do we have a case here/ leg to stand-on hypothetically??? Or are we screwed into trying to adapt to this madness for the last 9 months of our lease??! Thank you