Do you have any design items you won't change regardless of "dated?"
nini804
7 years ago
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What do you think? Daughter's Ex boyfriend won't leave her alone.
Comments (130)Silver Quite interesting reading. I have thought about EX and how he must feel about DD, or any woman that has been in his life. I do understand the conceptual thinking behind the term "limerance". I had a man that I felt that way about once. I never told him, figuring that if he felt anything for me he would approach me. There were a few mixed signals, I thought but he never made an attempt that was something that I knew for sure showed he was interested in me. He had enough chances to do that and he didn't. He thought of me as a friend or sister I guess. Or he would have gone for a little "roll in the hay" if I would have. He even introduced me to a girlfriend that he began dating and ended up getting her pregnant and they later married. Ouch! With EX's past ( if what he has said is true ) he undoubtedly has great fear of rejection. Again, if what he says is true, he wanted my DD to stay with him, build a future with him and he wanted a family with us. There are too many things though that are negatives to the success of their relationship that he is completely out of touch with which makes me think that he has a break with normal thought processes. This is evident with other actions...his extensive lying and his criminal behavior. My DD did not want to marry or have children ( my goodness, she is only 20 ) and he did. Very much in fact. I don't know that she will ever change her mind but he had said that he would rather have had her and no kids than to not have her at all. I don't know that it would have been something he could have easily lived with though. The age difference is something that was too vast....11 years...when dealing with her age group. Had they met when she was in her 30's or 40's or older then it would not have been as big a deal. I am sorry for him when it comes to honest, heartfelt feelings that he might have had for my DD. The fact that he could install such fear ( and continues to do so ) and the fact that he has told so many lies negates all of that though. It sucks to be rejected. Our family histories have a lot to do with whether or not we can process the rejection in a healthy way. Most of us have been and some of us have stepped over a line while dealing with it that we cringe at after having healed a bit. It is important to teach our kids that when they deal with peers or a romantic interest people have a right to reject them. In the long run it is for the best. I don't know how much EX has control over when it comes to his emotions about the breakup. I am sorry that I can't talk to him. It just can't happen. I want him to get help and to go onto have a happy life. More importantly though I want him to leave my DD alone and let her move on. Thanks for the thread and the link Silversword....See MoreWhat Would You Do: Painters Got Paint on Awning... Won't Come Off
Comments (38)I live in Georgia. There is no way she can go after them. It's not possible. They don't have any money and live from job to job and are feeding their families and if you took money from them or got a judgment they could end up in prison if not able to pay and unable to provide for their family. It would not be satisfying. In the end it really just can't be done by us who feel sorry for them and understand these economic times. They usually work for less than a big company. They are not bad people just unfortunate people. There have been times when I have had to adjust my thinking to it being more or less a "donation" not that I can afford it but I can certainly afford it more than they can and have had in the past a better life. When you know the people and have used them before and had no problems with them it's not easy to haul them into court. I am happy that OP is not going that route even though she has been terribly wronged and certainly justified. Sometimes we get our reward in other ways. It's part of life and I am so very sorry this happened and hope that it will come out with some of the remedies presented. If not, I so feel your pain having had similar things happen to me on several occasions. It's no fun being the brunt of carelessness but sometimes the protracted route of going after people just make our stress level even worse and will end up the same anyway with you resolving it yourself. Here's to hoping it will all work out and that the paint will come out or be able to be covered up. I am sick about this for you....See MoreDo any of you have this 'problem' with your white noise machine, lol?
Comments (13)lily, I'm hooked on my noise machine as well, and even wake up suddenly if a power outage shuts it off! kathsgrdn, thankfully I don't hear the sounds of a distinct voice, lol. It's more that the smooth sound the white noise used to make, is now a bit more inconsistent and pitchy, which makes it sound like muffled singsong phrases. I'm pretty sure it's just the ageing motor that's causing the inconsistent sound, so I guess it's time for a new one!...See MoreDo you have any trees that you don't know how they will grow?
Comments (13)when I used to live in the twin cities, the common lingo used by designers and la types was that they carefully selected plants for your personal landscape based on soil preferences and adability to the area, ie, cold hardiness. And if course you can rhoddies in high pH, clay soil, in a wind tunnel. Ok, so the wind tunnels weren't that common, but my experience tells me that broad regions of the upper Midwest tend to the alkaline, and soils can vary widely over even small distances. When I lived in mn, I was constantly trying things I had no idea of how they'd grow. if you rely on only the known reliables in that weather, your idea of exotic is how many varieties of spire and nine bark can you grow? So i'd try different things. Korean arb? dead as toast before thanksgiving. Japanese Stone pine? still thriving without ever so much as the slightest winter burn almost 20 years later. Turkish filbert? one survived and thrives, one died after a couple years. You try those things that you dare. the risk is failure, the reward is something no one else has. of course, as you move into milder winters, what is defined as questionable becomes quite a bit different....See Morejoviboys
7 years agonini804
7 years agolizzierobin
7 years agoaprilneverends
7 years ago
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