I have done a buffet for my students with just that kind of menu. Easy enough to pull off, but I will say, it is darn messy. Another "theme" menu I did that was wonderful was a Middle Eastern/Mediterranean theme with cool salads and tapas kinds of things with kofta and marinated chicken on the grill as the main dishes. I did the chicken bone in, but if I were to do it again I would do something like chicken shawarma, which can also be done as beef. I didn't do it on a rotisserie, it was just marinated and grilled, which I guess isn't actually shawarma, but more like shish ke babs or fajitas. But the seasonings were similar I guess for both. That's the recipe I used, a yogurt marinade but there are many kinds.

Other note: hire some local high school or college kids to help you. If you have any kind of half way decent deli or food service business around you, you can get at least some of the things there. Buy prepared stuff when you can, and save your culinary skills for when it will make the most impact. Not everything prepared is bad for you, but to get the good stuff you will have to pay more. I say, you'll never be this young and carefree again Elba, go ahead and $plurge!

Thanks a lot for the feedback - didn't think about messy, but since it's all grown women, probably wouldn't be "too" bad if that's what I end up doing. I don't cook middle eastern food, so I don't know much about it at all, but I did think about a fajitas type thing, offering chicken and roasted veggies - thought it would be more "last minute work" grilling & roasting? (Got the idea from someone who had Chipotle cater her husband's 50th.) I don't make my own cheese, so was definitely going to buy things like cheese & crackers!

I'm not saying it wasn't delish, but kinda messy to eat and in this case I had the party outside at a picnic pavilion and had lots of seating. That would be my only concern, if you're going buffet style, chili is hard to eat standing up or even sitting next to a little table or at a chair. I wouldn't do the grilling myself. I had two grills set up and put my students to work on the grilling, they loved it. Would some of your friends like to help? That's why I suggested hiring some help or else finding someone to run the grill. My SO loves to grill and he's not a social gadfly so enjoys having something to do at parties. Me, I like to gab.

Hi Linda, thanks for the pulled turkey suggestion - I have the recipe - tried it with chicken last fall - could give it a go with turkey. Didn't know if something "sandwich like" would be less appealing than something like chili, if that makes sense, but maybe not. Do you like it best with turkey vs. chicken? The cowboy caviar is a good suggestion as well. I've seen you mention the "snackers" but I've never made my own bologna or kielbasa or anything like that. If you post the recipe and I can buy the meat ready to cook, that would be something different to try; probably sausage or kielbasa vs. bologna.

Hi lpink, my husband & son both grill; was thinking if things were ready to go in a crock pot or something, it wouldn't be leaving anything to chance (like heavy rain or thunderstorms!). Yes, I do have some very helpful family & close friends, so since it's just women, I think everyone would keep things moving along (whenever I have people over, there are always at least a couple women that want to help, and I always do that when I'm at others' homes as well). If my husband is willing to "work the party" and I spell that out :), and if my son comes home from college (he loves to cook and the party will be on my actual b'day) I would have sufficient help, thanks!

I like your chili idea...so much easier to eat than pulled meat sandwiches in my book. And since you said you've done pulled pork, maybe the chili would be a nice departure, instead of just doing a different pulled meat.

Perhaps a vegetarian red chili and a white chicken chili for variety. Both go well with cornbread and all the fixins you mentioned. Maybe some limes and avocado, too, for the white chili?

Ok, thanks - I'll keep both ideas on the table - open to other suggestions or a vote lol!

One successful party I did was a Taco party. DH smoked a pork butt (but you could buy one, season it with cumin and such and bake it), then we shredded it, had a corn salad which was nothing but fresh corn blanched and cut off the cob with onion and green pepper (no dressing!) and salt and pepper and a coleslaw of Bobby Flay's that was perfect. We had corn tortillas (our preference) but could have flour instead of or as well. Salsa, chips, guac to start (and 2 kinds of salsa) and a green and/or red sauce to put on the tacos. It was a birthday so birthday cake was dessert. Margaritas and Sangria and Mexican beer were good beverages to serve.

Here's the BBQ thing....recipe says pork...I have always used turkey...and I am sure it would be lovely with chicken.

Danne's
BBQ'd pork

(
works well with turkey too)

One
Large onion,. chopped

1
stalk celery, chopped

1
green pepper, chopped

1
1/2 cups broth

2
cloves garlic, mashed ( I like more)

1 T
salt ( less or to taste)

1
small bottle catsup ( or a bottle chili sauce) about 14 oz

2 T brown sugar

2 T
vinegar

1
tsp allspice

1
tsp dry mustard

1
tsp chili powder

1/2
tsp tabasco

1
bay leaf

1
tsp paprika.

Cook
about a 5 pound pork roast, covered with some water until very tender. Cool and
cut up, Simmer for about 3 hours with the sauce ingredients. Serve on a bun.

And an appetizer.

Snackers

1 ring Dutch Balogna ( about a pound )

2 medium yellow onions ( about the size of a baseball)

Slice and layer in a crock or straihgt sided bowl

In a sauce pan place 1 c. cider vinegar, 1 cup water and 3/4
c sugar and 1 tsp mustard seed ( whole). Bring to a boil and pour over meat and
let stand un refigerated for 24 hours. Serve with cocktail rye.

Thanks for the additional feedback - if I was going to do chili, I like olychick's suggestions for the red vegetarian and white chicken chili, but now that I think about it, might not want 50 people walking around with a bowl of chili (as lpink eluded to)! May be easier if the offerings can go on a plate. I briefly wondered about making those so thick (like sloppy joes) as two options to put on a bun, which seems to circle back to Linda's suggestion for the BBQ turkey & cowboy caviar. Martha's taco idea would be similar. Sangria is a good idea. Thanks, seems like the ideas are centering on BBQish/Mexican.

If you are issuing invitations "open house" style...like saying between 4 and 8....realize that some will come for appetizers, some for dinner and some for dessert....so have your "dinner" foods figures so they can be eaten in appetizer sized portions....like a sandwich in a tiny bun, or cocktail rye

Yes, thanks, good idea. I don't think most would want a large bun anyway - probably want to try a little of everything.

Since your guest list is primarily female, another idea is a Birthday Tea Party. Menu could be a soup, a salad, a variety of tea sandwiches, a selection of mini-sized desserts, and beverages.

Your guests will not be expecting a full meal but there will be enough food to satisfy varying appetites and except for the sandwich assembly, much can be done ahead of time.

Thanks a lot for the suggestion. It crossed my mind, as I've always wanted to have a tea party (our church did one last month and it was really lovely!). Guess I was thinking the time of day and the time of year called for a bit more hearty fare. I'll think about it, and even if I don't do it on that larger scale, I'll use your ideas and have my women's fellowship group over on a Saturday afternoon - they would love it!

You can do "pulled" meat of any kind the day before or the morning of and keep warm. I have somewhere Opiekid's recipe for crockpot meat (chuck roast) with salsa and a couple of other things, and I have twice done it the night before a shindig in the crockpot and served on either buns or flour tortillas and gotten raves. There is nothing wrong with serving chili at a buffet necessarily, but I am an inveterate spiller so if it is the least bit awkward, I will be the one who gets chili all down the front of her shirt! I'll try to see if I can find that recipie, it is one of my best tried and true casual part dishes. Or maybe someone else here has it handy. Not sure if Opiekik even lurks or posts here anymore but I sure miss her. I can't quite remember how she spelled her screen name.

Another great make-ahead side for a buffet with southwestern flavors is sweet potato salad. I make Bobby Flay's version with scallions, get a lot of compliments on it.

Thanks. At first when you said messy, I thought you meant all the chili toppings becoming dispersed everywhere - like shredded cheese & scallions. Since some will be standing with a plate; I do see now that chili isn't the best idea for this situation. I can try a search for the chuck roast recipe to try anytime; since I have a very good friend who doesn't eat beef (her only restriction) I might try the turkey BBQ recipe out to see how I like it - did try it with chicken last summer. I'll buy a small turkey, make the BBQ, and we can freeze the leftovers for the four of us to have over the next couple months before my kids go back to college.

I'm wondering about the couple vegetarians (actually pescatarians) who might come - they could eat everything else (cowboy caviar, cheese & crackers, veggies & dip, etc.) - wondering the best option for them to put on a bun (I know the one person tires of always being offered cheese quesadillas) - frozen veggie burgers seem "boring" - something they likely have frequently. Guess I could find a recipe for a fish burger (not salmon, as the one's husband makes excellent smoked salmon; mine likely to be a poor knock-off) and have a few frozen to put in a toaster oven? (That was why I had the 2 chili ideas to start with; one being vegetarian.) Not sure If I need another full offering for everyone, or just something for the vegetarians? Being dinner time, I do believe most will take the meat that is served. Thanks so much!

Well I was going to suggest a shrimp salad....sort of a shrimp po boy....but if you offer that everyone will want some!!
I'd make a recipe or 2 of tuna salad....keep it in a covered container on ice and make sure everyone knows it's for the pescatarians.
Or you could make tuna melt buns wrap in foil and keep warm. Actually I like that idea a lot. make tuna salad, put it into a small cocktail bun with a slice of good sharp cheddar, wrap in foil and heat in the oven ( or on the side of the grill) until hot and keep warm. They ought to hold well for easily 2 hours....and if you don't go overboard on the mayo you should be able to make them the day before and just heat up. Don't use any celery and very little onion in your tuna salad as it will get watery when heated.

Thanks Linda. I love shrimp myself. My son used to test allergic to shellfish, so I usually eat it out vs. make it at home. If you have a good recipe for shrimp salad (I know the basics; wondering if there are any "secret ingredients" that make it extra good), or I think there have been crabcake recipes on here - just thinking another fish (or shellfish) that isn't salmon or tuna - tuna just seems "boring," I would think they have it a lot?

Fish tacos are fun, but I've had them with some pretty fancy fish. The condiment was a cabbage slaw, among other things. I thought they were really good. There's also a classic Mediterranean salad of tuna and white beans. I make it with kalamata olives, celery, red onion, some greek seasonings and vinegar and oil dressing, using EVOO and a wine vinegar. Great in pita.

For shrimp salad, I just do cut up shrimp and some celery and a little onion....say 2 cups shrimp, 1/3 cup celery...or more if you want to stretch the shrimp..and you also can add a couple of chopped hard boiled eggs if you want to stretch the shrimp further....then make a dressing....for 2 cups of shrimp I would use 2/3 cup good mayo...juice of a lemon....about 1.4 to 1/3 cup lemon juice...1 to 2 tablespoons of very finely chopped onion and a couple of dashes of worchestershire....and old Bay seasoning to taste....start with half a teaspoon and keep adding. Some like it hotter than others.
2 cups of shrimp will make salad for 5 or 6 ladies.

Thank you both - I've got a few options now for the pescatarians

If you're doing the turkey barbecue, I suggest using only thighs.

Thanks for the feedback. I think I'll find a small whole turkey first and try it out soon just to see how it tastes - assuming you recommend thighs for the flavor

Non food question for anyone following this thread: What do you think of the wording "gifts not expected" on the invitation? Reason being I'm doing this for fun, not for gifts. When I have a friend with a significant birthday, I enjoy giving them a gift, and feel that if someone wants to bring a gift (like closer friends and family would), that's fine, just don't want anyone to feel obligated to do so, which is why I bring it up at all.

When an invitation says "no gifts please" I've noticed at other events that everyone seems to show up with a bottle of alcohol, as they want to respect the request, yet not show up "empty handed." I don't really drink at home (unless I'm having a get together) and would not want 50 bottles of alcohol showing up.

I don't think "gifts optional" sounds right - seems inappropriate. I've never seen "gifts not expected" - just thought of that myself; not sure how it would be received - is it awkward and better not to mention it at all?

Any time you mention "gifts' in an invitation you raise the question of "Oh My! Should I bring a gift?"
Best to make no mention of gifts....no matter what you say, those who want to will bring a gift. In my neck of the woods it's polite to bring a "bread and butter" gift anytime you are invited to someone's house for a meal, so if this is the first time you have entertained you might expect to receive wine, candy, flowers etc.

Ok, thank you, I'll go with that. Do you think it's important that the rsvp's/invitations should be to/from my husband's e-mail & phone even though it isn't a surprise for me? The idea is to have my women friends/relatives from different areas of my life come together/get to meet each other, but it seems "tacky" to "throw yourself a party?" That's why I wondered about mentioning that gifts aren't expected.