Never heard of this. Personally, I wouldn't go. Why pay $10 for something you don't want or need, on top of feeling obligated to buy something else. Sounds like you have supported this friend plenty over the years. I have made it my policy to no longer attend these sales parties. I don't want any more stuff I don't need.

You attended past events out of courtesy, but that isn't reciprocal. Your "friend" is abusing your relationship to sell to you. Friends don't do that to friends. When you RSVP your "no", tell her exactly why. A subtle hint won't get thru.

umm, no

I support nearly any philanthropic cause my friends believe in, but I refuse to buy overpriced krap from schemes that rely on nothing more than exploiting personal connections. They sign up salespeople, wring out their connections via the same guilt you feel, then sign on the next person and so on. Don't play.

Exactly. I haven't been to one in quite a few years. The last one I went to was for home decor. I was hard pressed to find something to buy, but of course you feel obligated.

Your friend can't keep assuming that the same people will gladly come to all her events. She is supposed to make contacts with new clients when she holds these parties. With the party I mentioned, the host of that party was was given a fireplace screen in exchange for hosting and inviting X amount of friends.

Since you can RSVP on FB, just decline the invitation. "Sorry, I'm unable to attend. Wishing you success!" End of story.

Why are you dragging your feet?

Sounds like she's having the "party" at a venue because she has no more friends who will act as hostesses...

I stopped attending these type parties years ago. I somehow always had 'other plans' for the same time.

I hate these "parties" (and have never heard of charging admission) and can't believe that anyone still thinks this is a viable business model. I would politely decline the invitation, without giving an excuse.

OK, you've confirmed what I thought. I didn't know if I was being a poor friend by not attending & being supportive. Appreciate the sentiments.

I despise home parties. I think I have only attended two in my entire life. I do not like being guilted into a purchase. I hold the same loathing for the school fund raisers. I will gladly make a donation directly to the school rather than purchase items that are ridiculously overpriced items.

I agree with Holly-Kay and others. From tupperware parties of the past to whatever anyone is hawking, my policy is to decline any invite. I don't even know anyone anymore who would do this.

I love getting together with women, but it's always bugged me that it seems like an artificial way for women to socialize. Just invite us over for tea/coffee/wine, whatever, let us talk about important things and get to know one another. I don't want the restrictions that these "parties" impose on women really getting to know each other.

My policy is not to attend. If it is for a company I might want to buy from, I ask for a book, but stopped feeling obligated long ago when those friends from whom I purchased thousands of dollars worth of their child's useless school c*** never purchased from mine when they became school aged. It's often a one-way street.

She's not your friend. She's a user.

i wouldn't go ...

You've gone above and beyond already. Waaaay above.

Does this friend ask to see or have you over outside of selling you stuff?

I don't think that charging to attend is very business savvy. The venue and refreshments are the cost of doing business.

kswl2- Subtlety isn't a strong suit!

Years ago, I might have attended one of these things. Later, I would have made an excuse to not go. Now, fluck it, the answer is "no".

I refuse to go to anything where I have to pay to buy something. I don't understand having to pay to get into some Arts & Crafts show for the honor of spending more money. Same thing for those Home Show extravaganzas where you pay to hear sales pitches.

Many years ago I would go to Tupperware parties given by a friend of a friend. Why did I do that? At least it was free and I did get to socialize.

I don't go to anything , free or not, where I am expected to buy stuff which I generally don't want.

Yes, I remember going to Tupperware and Bee Line (remember that clothing line?) as a kid with my Mom. Then a Longaberger basket party hosted by a co-worker. I did like those, and bought a bread basket which I didn't need but still have and use it to hold garden paraphernalia.

The last party I went to was some years ago and was a "jewelry party" given by a neighbor. I went out of politeness, but not only do I hardly ever wear jewelry anymore, I thought it was very cheaply made and totally not my taste. But the other ladies were going ga-ga for it and buying lots. I suppose they were her friends and wanted to support her. I bought a bracelet and ended up giving it to my niece a couple years later for Christmas.

Schoolhouse......I loved the Bee Line clothes when I was a kid. I don't remember going to parties for it but I guess my mom did...wow that's sure a flash from the past!

Picturebug.......I thought these parties went out of fashion a long time ago, especially when online shopping took off. I would just politely decline all invitations and she'll eventually get the message and stop inviting you.

joaniepoanie, you mentioned "I thought these parties went out of fashion a long time ago".........in rural areas where job opportunities and social events are limited the home parties are thriving. Young mom's to retired ladies selling anything from cooking utensils, home decor, jewelry, nail decor, personal safety items, personalized totes, scented bars, etc. They are held in homes, or vendors will sometimes pool their parties and have a mass open house at a community center. Or they'll be held in winery's or Inns. The direct sales are rampant and the products are over-priced.

The big thing around here is Rodan + Fields skin care. The first gal that got into it is doing well but now the town is overwhelmed with her underlings. And it costs a fortune.

Picturebug.......I had no idea these parties were still so popular but it does make sense, as you said, in rural areas where employment opportunities may be limited.

Besides Bee Line from the 60's, I only went to Tupperware and Pampered Chef parties years ago.

A woman in my neighborhood lost a bunch of weight using a "lifestyle" product that's a multi-level marketing program. She's very aggressive in trying to recruit by hosting parties and adding her Facebook friends to the product's users FB page.

I finally told her that I had health issues and didn't feel comfortable using the product. Her reply was that she'd love to help me with my health issues. I was flabbergasted. At that point, I stopped any effort in coming up with polite excuses to her repeated invitations. Now, I ignore them. When I see her on the street, I say hello and we talk. But I no longer respond to anything related to her lifestyle product.

My normal reply to an MLM party would be "no, thank you." My reply to a pay to attend would be "oh hell no."

I haven't been invited or Facebook stalked about any of these products in years. I don't know if it's because I always say no and they gave up on me or if I've aged out, it seems to be more an activity for 30-somethings. I've heard about the agressive MLM sellers, like lisad mentions, but fortunately I don't know any.

Interesting, Hhireno. I didn't think about the age factor. This woman is in her 30s. She seems perfectly fine with putting her friends and neighbors in awkward situations with her repeated tactics. It's baffling because she's an otherwise very nice person.

I have a "friend" that has been a rep and moved up to distributor for a variety of MLM schemes. She never seemed to understand boundaries in friendships in this area. From signing up friends for credit cards for $5 to taking me to dinner....oops did I forget to tell you it was a recruiting meeting for Tupperware. She sells real estate now.... I don't think she will ever get it but I have been fooled by her once too many times and limit my expectations of her

i would say..I have another obligation....end of story

If you want to stop the invitations, tell the "hostess" that you never attend such events. If you want to come here and complain that your always get these invitations, say that you have another obligation that day.

Another -- Scentsy candle things. Someone on FB is forever promoting that (IMO) crap. Finally unfriended that one.

I wouldn't pay to attend one of those parties, friend or no friend. I feel like I've always overpaid for anything that I've ever gotten at those things, and they they don't ever offer anything that I couldn't live without. Your friend will understand. If you want to go, maybe she'll let you in for free, as an asst or something.

I don't know why it is so hard for me to say no to these things. In most other aspects of my life I have no problem speaking what I really feel. < Sometimes my ability to do this exceeds discretion even, lol. But dang it, if my daughter's bff is selling bath bombs or a neighbor's grandson is hawking way overpriced gift wrap -- I melt and hand over the dough. The worst part is: I know the only way to stop this is for all of us to refuse to participate and yet ... sigh.

This book has been around for ages (I remember my mother reading it many years ago), but I thought I'd share the link here for anyone who might be interested in checking it out. I may reread it myself, as I've said 'no' to a few things recently that have left me feeling unsettled.

When I Say No, I Feel Guilty

I don't attend home sales or MLM parties, and don't have a problem telling people. My next door neighbor invited me anyway, for years, because she wanted me to know that I was welcome at her gatherings.

Not long after we moved to this area, a couple, whose son was in an extra-curricular activity with our son, invited us to dinner. I told the man we'd love to have dinner with them, as long as it didn't involve X (a line of cleaning products). After a moment of silence, he said, yes, it was for X, so I declined. Guess what? We never received another invitation to dinner, and his wife ignored me after that. :P

I surely would not pay to attend one.

I have never heard of having to pay for one of the parties. Count me in as another who does not go to these.

"I told the man we'd love to have dinner with them, as long as it didn't involve X (a line of cleaning products). After a moment of silence, he said, yes, it was for X, so I declined. Guess what? We never received another invitation to dinner, and his wife ignored me after that. :P"

Many years ago, when we were young, a couple that we had reconnected with at my HS reunion called and asked if they could stop by for a visit. When I answered the door I smiled, laughed and said something like; "come on in, it's so good to see you as long as you are not selling Amway! haha!"

I had no idea that they were, and they still tried. Awkward.

We still see them every so often, never mention that visit. They never got rich selling Amyway

well, at least the wrapping paper, popcorn, GS cookies, magazines are fundraisers for the school's pta or scouting- i tend to cave on those too!

i have attended plenty of those sales parties (and have sometimes have bought nothing when i did go if i've told my host i wouldn't and she said 'come anyway'!) but i have no trouble saying no at this point in my life!

busy, my daughter's both sold GS cookies for many years. I appreciated our neighbors buying a box or two, and even to this day I will always, always, always buy cookies etc. from a GS's or the BS's.

However, this part is interesting. A neighbor's son was on the crew team. When she came to the door with him for a donation, she jokingly said, "payback time." I laughed too, except for the fact that the donation was expected to be $50! Certainly not the same thing as buying GS cookies! But, we are good neighbors. I thought it was interesting that she thought it was equal to a few $3 boxes of cookies.

A boy scout came to the door selling popcorn. The catch was that they were linked to donating to veterans. (I'm married to a veteran, so of course this is close to my heart) I ordered a few things and the total was over $50!

elb, the only thing that has really irked me when it comes to kids 'selling' is when i have occasionally had a kid ask for money or sell something because they want to go on a trip of some sort-- granted, if it's a kid in need and they have an awesome opportunity to go somewhere, but they really can't afford it that's one thing- but then, usually the school has some involvement to help those kids-- but there have been several times when a kid (who i don't even really know but do know his family isn't facing 'hard times') has been 'fundraising' for his trip- that is very presumptuous to ask for others to fund a trip and that just annoys me!! (ok, cutco bothers me too! :)

I need to read that Turquoise Rose. I do say no withoout explanation but sometimes feel guilty. Practice, "sorry I can't attend"

Anne, this thread prompted me to download it to my Kindle and I'm rereading it right now. :-)

Screw her. And she calls herself a friend? Oooh.

We always buy from the kids. Hubby is the worst! LOL