Reserving a small private room in one of the restaurants. I hadn't thought of that, but it's a great idea! And, you're right, any reservation in a university or college town for a big event such as graduation (or home football games at OU- lol ) needs to be made many weeks, if not months, in advance. Including hotels, which I'd better also take care of quickly. Thanks so much for that, Tina!

Yes, around here we know we better not try to schedule any lunch meetings at a restaurant on graduation day! Good look!

DD had 6 room mates and they all graduated at the same time. The Moms got together and organized a brunch for the day after graduation at their house. Their house was very nice and had good parking. I guess if they lived in a dump we probably would have rented a room at a restaurant.

If that party wasn't arranged we probably would have just had a family dinner at a nice restaurant with a few of DDs friends. We don't hang around a crowd that throws a lot of parties but I can't remember ever going to a parent hosted college graduation party. I have been to plenty of high school parties.

We took our graduates (and their dates) out to dinner after their graduations. The only party was a brunch at the house for local family members. although we attend plenty of high school graduation parties I can't remember being invited to any college grad parties of those that aren't family members.

I'd go out for a fancy dinner there to celebrate the graduation. There are many ways to celebrate things. they don't always have to be a large party or gathering. Between Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, people may even not welcome yet another party.

What if you were to plan a graduation trip to a warm island, Mexico, something like that, with your DH, DS, and DD, as a graduation gift and celebration, and maybe allow her to invite a friend or two.

Some down time, lie on a beach, chill, drink margaritas at night....Sounds like a nice way to acknowledge a graduation to me!

DS graduated from State this past December. The ceremony was great...under two hours! Love December graduations! (My MA was also in December) His roommates had already left for winterbreak, and after the ceremony we needed to move the rest of his stuff into the minivan (we'd brought a load home at Thanksgiving). So, we went to the nice restaurant in town for lunch, just the four of us, and gave him his gifts (well, he's still "opening" them, like his recent trip to see "Hamilton") then we went back to his place, changed clothes, packed up, and drove the 2.5 hours home. Stopped by my parents for congrats (and a check) I don't think college graduation is as big a deal, since people graduate at different times, from far away, and it's kind of "vague", with so many already working by the time they graduate, or they graduated a couple of weeks before.

A December graduation will be nothing like the big spring event. A smaller event, and many of the graduates will choose to skip the ceremony altogether. Don't try to match the previous experience of your son's graduation, this will simply be different. I'll just caution you to get your mind wrapped around that reality in your planning, and downsize or change expectations. I think the trip to a warm climate is a great idea!

Thank you, thank you, thank you all, Tina, D-gw, Bpath, Maddielee, Sushi, and Tibbie !!! Great advice. Wise, too. And advice I'm going to follow. *A nice celebratory dinners after the ceremonies with just the four of us, or a couple additional close friends of DD's: Done! *As Sushipup and others mentioned, many may choose not to attend one or both. I do know that DD will walk, but am not sure if she'll attend the second ceremony (or ceremonies, as she's getting a double major), so no planned big party in Norman: Done! *Make reservations way ahead of time, per Tina: will definitely do that! *Forget any big party after they all go back after Winter Break in Norman, per many of your suggestions: Done! *Forget any big graduation party here the weeks around Christmas and instead, invite everyone to toast DD at our big Christmas Day dinner and give her a nice, big gift/ or vacation, per Tibbie's great suggestion (Emily is going to love you for that one, Tib!) when she has time to relax and enjoy it. If any family wants to send her a gift or check, they already know both her addresses . . . and will be very relieved that we're not making them feel guilty for not flying out here at that time of the year.

Ahhhhh! Do you all hear that? It's the sound of me relaxing, because something very important to me and my family has been decided on . . . all thanks to you! I am now one very happy mom.

By the way, especially at a large school and depending on which school she's graduating from, the December ceremony can be quite nice, more intimate, and definitely shorter. There are not all the activities and festivities, but you can get a hotel room and dinner or lunch reservations and a parking place, and you probably don't need tickets to the ceremony. Enjoy the day, and each other, and bask in the glow of your DD's achievements, stress-free.

My sons first degree was a December graduation and he didn't go to the ceremony (I think it may have been a powder day) The second was a May graduation and he went to that one - for him it actually meant more and it was the one he wanted to celebrate. But it was just family at a nice restaurant.

When DD graduated out of state (not Dec) and had 6 or 7 roommates in a decent enough house, they treated the parents to lunch the day before.....we were all surprised and touched. Wasn't fancy....they got those really long subs from Subway, chips, etc. but they wanted to thank the parents for their education.

After graduation we took her to the restaurant of her choice. That was it.....no real party back at home. We did the same thing when she got her masters at the same U. I may have had my brother and his family over back at home but I can't even remember. We've always kept graduations family affairs.

It's such a fun time watching them as they enter their chosen career path.

I think you are on the right track, Lynn.. and with much great guidance!
College graduation was much less about a big party for me and more about my personal achievements. My parents did much what you're planning-- a nice dinner with a few of my closest college friends (a few days before graduation in my case.. we had a week between the end of finals and graduation)

None of my nieces or nephews had big college graduation parties either-- nothing like their HS graduations. However, the two who moved away had "launch parties" which ended up being more send offs to their grown up lives. I was the only one to go on to grad school right after college.. and honestly, I'd have LOVED a trip!

The only college graduation party was my parents' party.. the "no more college tuition party!!" which was marked by my youngest sister's graduation.

LOL, Funky! Yes, the day when paying for out-of-state college tuitions is behind us, DH & I will definitely celebrate! Hopefully, it will be this December when DD graduates, her being our youngest. We gave DS a monthly allowance while he was in grad school, just to help out, but he was a TA (paid teaching assistant to a professor) and also got stipends for textbooks and classes. I hope that DD can get the same, although sadly OU does not have a Clinical Psychology grad program, only Research, so she'll be moving someplace else for grad school.

My DD graduated this December from a University of about the same size as OU located in a similar size town as Norman. Very few restaurants took reservations which really surprised me. With the December graduation we got 6 tickets versus the 4 for the May ceremony.

We took immediate family and BF out for dinner afterwards. I think a lot of people took off after the ceremony and headed home. It depends on ceremony times and demographics of the graduates I guess.

Congrats to you and DD. It sure does feel great to be tuition bill free. I have $$ for decorating now!

So not knowing the time of day either makes it hard to plan, but I agree with Tina, a plan for dinner in a nice restaurant seems to be the safest bet for now.

When my step-grandson graduated at UA, the ceremony was at 2 pm iirc. So the parents of the kids he lived with brought trays of subs, chips and drinks to the guys' apartment for everyone to eat before going to the ceremony (everyone had to be there quite a bit before the actual ceremony to park, lineup etc). We had reserved a table at a local restaurant for an early family dinner, with DGS inviting a few friends along. Worked out great, so DGS could do some celebrating later with his buddies. So not really a party, but a fine celebration with him anyway.

I would work the graduation celebration into your existing Christmas celebrations, then give her the money for a trip to a southern hemisphere destination like South America or Australia before she starts working. Of course, I would go to the graduation ceremony itself.

When I graduated with my PhD I ordered deli trays, etc. That was fine, since it was May graduation and it was crazy there in the small college town. But December ceremonies are very nice.

when one of my kids graduated a couple of years ago we went to a small lunch party at the house a couple of girls rented... their moms put together this very casual get together with sandwiches, salads, a cake, and some drinks... it was mostly kids who were the best of their friends, the moms who threw it and us- we stayed for a short time and left our child and met up again later...

for a december graduation, i wouldn't plan to put much of anything together, tho a small holiday party afterwards at her house would probably be a lot of fun given the festive time of year!! but, my concern would be the # of people who would be willing to stick around to attend.

a nice dinner somewhere would be very nice too and a lot less work/worry for you too!!