What year is she? High school senior? While most colleges send bills by the semester, most will have some type of payment plan, but it may have a high imputed rate of interest.

More importantly, as much as many people dont want to talk about money, Dad has to talk to her. Dad may want to talk to X, or suggest SD talk to mom, as to how much mom can contribute.

If mom is the custodial parent, her (and her husband's if she has one) income should be on the basic finacial aid form, FAFSA, but the more expensive private schools will ask to see everyone's (mom, dad and steps) income. The FAFSA will help the colleges determine what federal loans and grants are available.

Dad needs to talk to SD quickly, and make certain that she and mom are completing the FAFSA. When she is accepted at colleges, she can compare cost/financial aid and talk to her parents re what makes sense.

Do dad and mom live in same state?

She is a junior and in the same state. Talking to the ex isn't very feasible, unfortunately. Us turning over our income info also isn't likely. She is looking at in-state private colleges but is aware that she will need to get scholarships and financial aid.

Ok, so she is a junior, that is good, plenty of time. Dad has to talk to her. SD should ask mom if mom is prepared to complete FAFSA. Are you saying you and Dad will not provide info to school? versus to X? I think Dad should also try to see that SD doesnt end up with too much debt. My DDs high school has a financial aid night, where they explain process and options to parents. IMHO, Dad should see if either his DDs school or local school has such a night and attend. Call high school and ask for guidance office.

I read your post too quickly, but if she is going to a private college, they will likely ask to see if Dad and your income. If he is not willing to provide to school, I personnally think that is pretty stinky, unless he is willing to pay full ride.

"If he is not willing to provide to school, I personnally think that is pretty stinky, unless he is willing to pay full ride."

I kind of got the impression that Dad is not thrilled about ex seeing his financial information. Maybe I read it wrong, but that's how I took OP's post. I think he should be able to send the info. to just the college, without ex seeing it----or is that not true? I don't remember how it all works!

My highschool had a very intense college counseling program where, as juniors and seniors, we (and our parents) had to attend monthly meetings. It was madatory for us to participate. They kept us on a very tight timeline in regards to when visits should take place, when apps. were due, etc. Financial counseling was also part of that program. Check with your SD's school and see if there is any similar sort of program.

Does anyone know how the schools treat financial confidentiality? I know the FAFSA is Ex's responsibility (yipee!!), but I don't want either DS or Ex (who would pry it out of DS) to know my financial particulars. At the same time, I know that if you don't provide the information, you automatically don't qualify for all sorts of scholarships...

Sorry to hijack De!

Could you and Hubby open a Checking or Savings account with SD's name on it and just make regular deposits into it? There are certainly monthly living expenses for college students -- books, meals and entertainment, etc. Or if you could start the account now, DON'T put SD's name on it, but just sweep it periodically when those massive bills come in?

DK, Are you sure your state doesnt make you continue to pay CS while your Stepchild is a full time student? Better check into that if you dont communicate with ex, before you commit to college without knowing if your monthly CS is in addition to full tuition..She may be going to court to get an order to continue CS and full college....You cant just change CS to college, absent a court order....

Maybe I am missing something but I don't get the big deal of an ex knowing your financial situation for kids' college... I mean, if you have a support case through kids' high school, there is usually an exchange of information so it's not really too much of a secret... unless income changes drastically when kids are in college, it's not going to be much different than disclosing income for support purposes.

The only difference I can see is the high wage earner, not wanting to contribute more than the low wage earner. I don't think spouse income should have to be disclosed unless the spouse has a legal financial obligation for kids. If spouse wants to help SK's with college, that is a gift.. there is no need to share their income for financial aid purposes if there is no obligation to contribute or support.

Ima, the problem is kids cant get loans and grants without the FAFSA and in the case of private schools, more forms. You can shout all day long that you have no legal responsiblity, but the kids can not the loans without the forms. It is very difficult to be considered independent. Its one thing to say the child is on his own for college, its another to say no federally subsdizied loans, etc. I dont agree with federal laws on this either, but it is what it is.

Yes, I don't want to share my financial info with his ex--it's none of her business. CS stops at high school graduation and there is no requirement for any continuance past that--no mandatory payments for college. Therefore, my husband's income info will no longer be any of her business either.

I'm thinking back to when I was in college and I believe all the info is on the financial aid forms when they are sent back to the student/parents each semester. We are going to have real problems with this if it is a requirement.

Sweeby, we can't start pocketing money away right now because all our extra money is going towards paying child support.

Ima - In our state, as of five years ago (I'm not up to date) child support is calculated on income up to $60,000. Beyond that, the parent gets to keep. So all I really knew was that Ex made over $60,000 per year -- which I already knew. What I don't know (or care to know) and what I don't want him knowing about me, is whether he makes $60,000, $160,000, or $600,000.

It's also cultural in my case. In my family, one simply did not discuss money. It was considered the height of vulgarity, and my father opted to pay 100% for my very expensive education rather than disclose how much money he earned and had accumulated (he worked for the Gov't!) so I could get scholarships. I couldn't even get MERIT scholarships because he refused to fill out the required paperwork.

But in Ex's family, manipulating money to gain financial advantage has been raised to an art form. So if Ex. were to find out I could cover DS's college 100% on my own, he'd find a way to weasel out of the half he's agreed to pay. Or if Ex. were to find out I had very little saved and couldn't cover my half, he'd rub it in my face and make sure DS heard all about my "failings" because that's how he'd view them.

It's just better if he doesn't know.

Even parents in intact families are complaining that they dont want kids seeing financial info.

Again, if mom has custody, she fills out the FAFSA with her and her husband, if any, info. No info on NCPs. In theory, she can tell SD to fill out her part, finish, then complete and enter PIN and not give it to SD. Then she is the only with access. But only custodial parents fill out FAFSA.

CSS is filled out by both custodial and non-custodial and there is an option that either parent can get PIN for their part, and not provide to anyone else, including child or X. There are some private schools that ask for non-custodial parent supplement, but I dont think it is generally computerized -- and you should be able to gtalk to finaid office to see what their policies are.

My personal beliefs are they should only be looking to bioparents, but should ask re both, no matter who has custody.

the first two years of college students cannot even get much loan. they just won't get enough. couple of thousands only. You get more junior and senior year.

so I would not expect much loan (unless parents are really poor) and even then loans are just not enough. My nephew applied and got like next to nothing, my brother does make very good money but there are 4 people depending on his income! Then my brother took parent loan and it was still not enough, then he paid the rest out of his pocket. And it is only the first year! My point is those loans are not big enough to pay for college.

you have to see how much loan and scholarhsip SD can get, what mom can contribute and then see how much you can give. Now if you are in financial turmoil why would she go to private college? those are more expensive. Unless mom can afford it, why not go to public? you have to see what all of you can afford and then choose college accordingly.

also it is important that both parents discuss everything ahead of time so no surprises. if parents don't talk to each other, then SD is in huge disadavantage.

I'm thinking back to when I was in college and I believe all the info is on the financial aid forms when they are sent back to the student/parents each semester. We are going to have real problems with this if it is a requirement.

D

The FAFSA is for receiving FEDERAL aid and yes, before you can apply for most loans and scholarships most college want you to apply for federal assistance first.

The FAFSA is available right on-line--just google it and you can go through the questionaire yourself, however I am pretty sure that if you didn't have a split custody arrangement then only the custodial parents' HOUSEHOLD financial information is required, not the noncustodial parent's household.

I doubt the mother saved any of the child support for college, it's really not what it's for.

But you know, one of my best friends lived strictly on her monthly child support payments--which wasn't much, and supplimented by food stamps, so their household income was actually WAY below the poverty level and by going to a state college, her daughter paid virtually nothing. What she didn't receive in grants from the federal government, the state and college made up, but she did have to work at the college about 15 hours a week for her room and board (2 meals a day) there--and it was actually a pretty high ranking well-respected college. And best of all, she graduated with zero debt! I actually didn't have to pay for my degree either.

There are currently 10 states have laws which grant the court the right to order divorced parents to pay at least a portion of their child(ren) college costs, usually about 1/3rd each with the remaining third being the responsibility of the child. However even though these laws exist in these 10 states, the courts usually only will order this for divorced parents with fairly substantial means.

An additional 2 states will extend child support to the age of 21 if a child is attending college.

The rest of the states in the US, child support usually ends upon reaching the age of adulthood although may sometimes be extended if the child is still attending high school.

Does anyone know why it was in any way legal for DH to pay CS and full college until the age of TWENTY THREE, and High schooler coming into college this year, EX NOT FILING any FAFSA, and looking forward to doing this Again this year, full tuition and CS for a Non working EX .......Wish I had the money for an Appeals court on this one...Intact parents would not have to be responsible for this, if they didnt want to be...For a failing student in HS to boot.....

I filled out the Profile last month and am in the process of filling out the FAFSA.

FAFSA is filed by the student and his or her custodial parent and calculates the student's eligibility for Federal Aid as doled out by each college. The non-custodial parent's income is not asked for and is not relevant. Most public schools and many private schools require only the FAFSA to be filled out. It's at http://www.fafsa.ed.gov and it's online only and free.

CSS Profile is required by many private schools. There are two components; the custodial part and the non-custodial part. Not all private schools require the non-custodial form to be filled out. Some private schools have their own forms which may or may not require non-custodial parent information. The two parts are completely private; neither parent sees the other parent's financial information.

If a Profile college requires both forms, they really mean it. There are plenty of stories of kids whose non-custodial parent refused to fill out the Profile, and those kids are truly in a rough place. Colleges take the position that it's not their job to sort through the issues that are between divorced parents. They just want the forms filled out. In addition, any agreement between the divorced parents regarding who will pay what, if anything, towards the child's college, is irrelevant to the Profile formula. Again, colleges just don't want to deal with this, and are not bound by legal agreements made by third parties (ie the divorced parents).

FAFSA is not that difficult to file, and is largely based on the custodial parent's adjusted gross income. Assets also figure into the equation at the rate of 5.6% for the parent's assets (after a $40-$60K asset protection allowance) and 20% for any assets in the student's name (with no asset protection allowance).

Profile is a little more complicated if the parent owns a business, but is otherwise similar to the FAFSA. Profile includes home equity, and so parents who have substantial equity are expected to pay more for their child's education.

FAFSA will calculate a single EFC (expected family contribution). For example, it might say that the family can contribute $10,000/year for college. If the COA (Cost of Attendance) is $25,000/year, then for colleges that guarantee to meet 100% of need, the student will receive $15,000/year in aid. Most colleges do not guarantee to meet 100% of need. This leads to the infamous "gap" which needs to be filled by outside scholarships or loans.

The Profile does not generate an EFC, it simply gathers financial information and colleges use it in their own (somewhat obscure) formulas to determine financial need.

Ok, having said all of that which is probably way more than anyone really cares to know, I'll address the OP's original question.

We are used to the monthly child support payment now and would consider continuing paying it towards her college expenses, but how do you do that.

The answer is that if you want your D to have any chance of need-based financial aid, you need to be careful in how you give her money. Even if you were to come up with a payment plan for her college, some colleges will see this as "outside support" and factor it into their financial aid award.

The worst case for your D with respect to financial aid calculations is if you were to set aside a lump sum in her name - say in her savings account - that she could use for college. This would be "assessed" at the rate of 20% for financial aid, meaning that colleges will expect her to spend 20% of any money that's in her name per year.

An excellent alternative would be for you to open a 529 account for your daughter with you as the custodian and your SD as the benficiary. 529 accounts are college savings accounts and can only be spent on qualified educational expenses. Room and board, tuition, travel to & from college, etc are all qualified expenses. In some states, contributions to 529 accounts give you a tax deduction on your state income taxes. Any earnings in 529 accounts accumulate tax-free. They are the least "taxed" method of saving per the financial aid formulas as they are "assessed" at the parent rate of 5.6%. (I'm leaving out annuities and other exotic transfers of assets that can also be done to maximize financial aid chances because they probably aren't worth looking at in your case).

Welcome to the world of college financial planning! Your choices will become more clear as your daughter's list of colleges gets refined. If financial aid is very important to you, then have her look at schools where her stats (GPA and SAT/ACT scores) are in the top 25% of the college's admitted student range. The best need-based and merit aid often comes from small private colleges, which can also be an excellent educational experience.

Here is a link that might be useful: Profile Colleges with custodial/non-custodial requirements

Thanks Annkathryn!

I was just talking to a friend yesterday who suggested we set up a 529 account for my son. I'll check into one for my SD as well. I don't mind providing our income directly to the college on their form--just not the FAFSA form.

She will graduate in the top 5% of her class and I think she probably chose the colleges she did based on their generous merit aid. The website to one of them boasts that their tuition is actually lower than the largest public university in the state.

Congrats to your SD on her excellent scholastic record so far. If the colleges she's interested in require FAFSA only, and your husband is not the non-custodial parent, then all you & your H need to do is to confirm with the mom that she'll fill out the FAFSA form. If the mom is remarried, FAFSA requires income from her husband to be reported as well (I forgot to mention this above).

Most 529 plans offer age-based funds, which has been a lifesaver for people who have high school juniors & seniors this year. They're invested mostly in cash and have avoided the huge market downturn of the past 6 months. Parents whose kids are much younger will have a longer timeframe to make up any losses they might have experienced recently.

dotz--
The only plus may be that the kiddo is failing in HS, so probably isn't looking too seriously at colleges. And really, what college would accept him/her?

As for student loans, etc. for underclassmen, my oldest son is a sophmore this year, and rec'd $9500...so well more than "a couple thousand". He also works, and lives frugally with 3 roomates to share costs. It was important to him to live away from home, so that was the deal. He could live here for free (we have more than enough room), but if he wanted to not live at home, then he had to work to pay for it.

dk,

I do not have a college age kid so I am looking back to when I was in school. It's almost impossible to keep financial information away from either your kid or BM if you apply for loans, grants, scholarships etc.

Were you planning on footing the tuition bill or just helping out with other expenses like books, lodging, food, entertainment etc. monthly? Seems to me the latter would be better. Or do what was suggested above, let her apply based on her income/BM's income?grades, see what she gets and chip in afterwards based on that instead of formally participating with the college because they will be looking for any and all parental help.

Congrats on her academic achievemnets!!

Nicks, I guess my question is can a judge make her fill out Fafsa? Last kid, DH paid full 4 years with no breaks, aid... She couldnt be bothered to fill it out(DH was ordered in divorce to pay college)The only way Ex can continue to collect CS is to put SS in THIS college(you re right, should he get in)they live in a state with really backward laws I m guessing she will get full tuition, will not file Fafsa, will not contribute in any way... Junior college , no CS due, so this is the only school where the SS can live at home and she gets paid.. DH and I have no objection to pay college, but he could get aid , and his guidance counselor said this is not the college for him...She is forcing him into this school only to keep CS going...I m just afraid after a semester or 2, he ll drop out, thousands of dollars later, when he belongs in trade school or some vocational type school...So if DH signs on to pay for this school, he ll be on the hook if SS goes a week or month, or as long as he lasts(again, should he get in)I just have no faith that a judge can or will order her do anything , the last 7 years of court has been nothing but in her interest, not her childrens..If this makes any sense..Thanks

Lamom, as has been said here before, NCPs do not fill out the FAFSA and the CSS can be password protected for benefit of either benefit. Private schools will generally ask for all information. Why shouldnt the school look to Dad for help, assuming he has sufficient income? Its his child too.

kkny,

I simply asked what they were planning to do. It didn't sound like the dad was planning on paying tuition, maybe he should. If not, paying expenses is good too. Not arguing one way or the other. Don't have a college age kid so I don't know the financial process which I said. I do remember when I was in college that I had access to my parents financial information when I applied for scholarships which they were not happy about at the time. It's touchy.

And as I said, even come parents in intact families dont like giving info. That can be avoided with the FAFSA by not giving child the password.

nicksmom, it depends on the income. If parents make less money (or a single parent), then kids get more loan. It might be more second year, but my nephew received very little his first year. My brother makes a big figure. That's probably why. (main reason applying for loan was that my nephew is lazy and he does much bettre in school knowing that he will have tio pay loan back)

SO's DD was denied federal loan based on dad's income. They applied just in case. But income is too high.

Your income has to be pretty low in order to get much federal loan.

Now of course if kids qualify as independent then they can get more, but it is harder to prove. Also there are private loans but those are different story.

Federal loans are part of the financial aid mix. For those with a very low EFC, subsidized loans are available. The 2 types of Federal subsidized loans (where the govt pays the interest) are the Perkins loan and the subsidized Stafford loan.

Subsidized Stafford Loans are federally guaranteed loans based on financial need. Interest does not accrue on the loan while the student is in school at least half time, or during any future deferment periods. The federal government "subsidizes" (or pays) the interest during these times.

Unsubsidized Stafford Loans are federally guaranteed loans that are not based on financial need. Interest will accrue from the time the loan is disbursed to the school, but can be deferred until 6 months after graduation. Anyone can get an unsubsidized Stafford loan of up to $2000, although you must fill out the FAFSA to get one.

First Year $5,500 ($3,500 subsidized/$2,000 unsubsidized)
Second Year $6,500 ($4,500 subsidized/$2,000 unsubsidized)
Third Year and Beyond $7,500 ($5,500 subsidized/$2,000 unsubsidized)

Federal Parent PLUS loans help supplement other sources of financial aid, and can cover 100% of college expenses. The interest rate is around 8.25%.

Editorial comment So many students are graduating with a crushing debt load. Student loans, unlike any other loan in the US, cannot be discharged by bankruptcy. With nearly 4000 undergraduate institutions in the US, there are affordable options for just about everyone. No one should have to go deep into debt in order to get a college education.

Here is a link that might be useful: Student Loan Info

annkathryn, that's what i was talking about. My nephew got like unsubsidized few thousands, i think that's what he got like $2000. That's what I said few thousands, i was correct.

I do not know how nicksmom's son got almost 10K in a 2nd year. unless again we are talking about very low income. but even then apparently 6,500 is a limit. There are private loans but again we were talking about federal not private.

FD,

Many states have their own loan programs. They are generally a good deal.

We aren't low income, and he is not independent. He got $3500 Fed. Subsidized Loan and $6000 Federal Unsubsidized Loan. Nothing special, no private loans, etc. Just did the FAFSA and that's what the school Fin. Aid dept. spit out.