I've had foot-in-mouth disease several times. The one I can remember most vividly occurred at a social gathering, a club we belonged to. I was standing around with a small group of guys, chatting. I happened to be wearing a green silk blouse. One of them hugged me and sorta rubbed my back. He said, "that blouse feels nice." My response in my head was "it feels nice to me, too." The response that came out of my mouth was "you should feel it from the inside."

I never lived that down, and for years was reminded of my green silk blouse. I got rid of it eventually, and made danged sure never to wear it to that club meeting!!

When I was 14, I had an all-consuming crush on the 15 year old boy that lived down the street. One day, I was babysitting next door and the little girl broke a little glass figurine. We found the super glue and went out to the front porch to fix it. We made a mess of it and got glue all over the place. Right in the middle of all this super gluing, the cute guy I had a crush on walked up and started flirting!!

I was so nervous, I ended up with my hand stuck to the little girl's hair, which got me even more flustered. When I stood up to take her in the house and try to save her hair, I discovered that my terry cloth elastic-waist shorts were glued to my chair, which pulled down my shorts causing me to drop back down.

The little girl was crying and stuck to me and I was crying and stuck to the chair. The cute guy was trying to help but didn't understand why I would not stand up.

So of course, my dad came out of our house and immediately assumed the cute guy had done something to make us girls cry and was being scary dad to the cute guy. Cute Guy's mom came walking up and defended her son. The little girl's parents arrived to utter chaos and never asked me to babysit again.

But cute guy ended up being my first boyfriend. It nearly killed us both when my parents moved me from Memphis to Texas two years later.

cattyles, utterly hilarious, stuff you can't make up.

Oakley, why is it we laugh at inappropriate times? At the worst times possible? Been there myself.

dedtired, I just LOLed.

These stories should all be in a movie! Catt, the visual of your story is hilarious!

Linelle, I think laughing is an automatic and uncontrolled stress reliever, I find myself still doing it. In 4th grade (this is also embedded in my mind), I had THE prettiest teacher there, Mrs. Perry. My older brother was her teacher's pet the previous year, so I just knew I would be too.

I was always well behaved, and one day she left the room for a few minutes and she came back to some rowdy kids. I had never seen her that mad! She was holding a little paddle in her hand threatening the kids if they ever behaved like that again she'd use it on them.

Well, I started laughing. Mrs. Perry called my name to come up front, and she proceeded to paddle me! I wanted to crawl into a hole.

I didn't learn my lesson not to laugh during something serious. :)

When we went to visit my daughter and sil a couple years back, we met up for breakfast one morning. We were chit chatting back and forth about what we had done the day before. My DD asked where did you and dad go for dinner last night. My response "At the G spot, Dad likes eating there". I didnt even know what I said until my DH told me. I think my poor DD was going to let it go. What I meant to say was the restaurant called the White Spot. To this day, DH and I chuckle about it when we visit the White Spot.

My moment lasted 17 YEARS! The day my eldest entered kdg I was introduced to another mother, and I SWEAR THE WOMAN SAID HER NAME WAS "SHEESH," same as mine. Our kids went to almost every class together through high school and college. Every time I saw the other "Sheesh" she said "Hi 'Sheesh'" and I said "Hi 'Sheesh'"

After the kids graduated college, a mutual friend mentioned that "Diane" and I had known each other for a long time. I said I didn't know Diane, I knew "Sheesh." She said, "Of course you know Diane. She's Tom's mom."

Seventeen years, neither she nor anyone else corrected me. The kids are in their 40s now, and I'll bet the other "Sheesh" still wonders why I called her by my own name.

I've come out of my shell as I've matured, but when I was a child, I was so shy I'd barely speak to people. I've had lot of embarrassing moments through the years, but sheesh's story reminds me of one when I was about 7. When I was 5, we'd moved to a new neighborhood, in a different part of the state, where I met a neighbor boy named Darrell. His mother almost always called him Darrell Dean, as in, "Darrell Dean, you get in here, right now!" I assumed that his last name was Dean, so I called his mom Mrs. Dean, but with my Southern Ohio pronunciation, it was more like a very soft 'Miss Dean'.

I was so embarrassed one day when she asked why I called her 'Christine' when her name was Patsy. I never explained why I thought their last name was Dean, and that I was trying to be polite. It wasn't until years later that I heard of the practice of calling your kids by more than one name when they are in trouble. Poor old Darrell--bless his heart. ;)

Two have stuck with me. First one, we lived in So Cal, so casual dress was the norm. Most people wore shorts year round. We were at a bbq at the Elks Lodge (my then DH and some of his coworkers were members, even tho we were all under 30). I ran in to one of our friends standing with a group of older people I hadn't met before. I went up to him, hugged him and exclaimed "Scott, it's the first time I've ever seen you with pants on!" People gaped uncomfortably at me and I tried to explain I'd never seen him in jeans, only shorts, but I couldn't quite overcome my initial gaffe.

Second one made me want to crawl under a rock. I was having a yard sale and there was a chair a little boy kept climbing on to. His mother told him to get down but he just sat there. Finally I said to him "if you sit there people will think you're for sale. You wouldn't want me to sell you, would you?" His mother then glared at me and grabbed him and stormed out. It was then that I realized what I'd said to that little African American boy.

When my first DH and I were having a home built our builder, named Wayne, was an absolute nightmare to work with. I swear he had a hearing or comprehension probably because the man had to do so many things over again. I started referring to him as Wayne the pain. Well we finally moved in and the last item that needed completed was our screened porch. He was outside working on it and my youngest DD who was just three piped up and said "My mom calls you Wayne the pain". Needless to say I could have crawled under a rock.

We had finished moving into the home the day before Thanksgiving but there was a small plumbing issue to be taken care of so the plumber came out Thanksgiving day and it was raining cats and dogs. He came in through the garage and mudroom with muddy boots and started into the kitchen. My same DD said, "Mister you better take off those boots cause your draggin mud on our clean floor".

One more story and yep, same DD. She was in a choral performance in second or third grade. She was up on the stage literally moving kids into their spots because they didn't know where to stand. She would take them by the shoulder and tell them this is where you are supposed to stand. The whole auditorium was laughing their heads off that this adorable little curly haired girl was taking charge. Older brother and sister were laughing out loud while DH and I were sinking lower and lower in our seats. It still makes me smile all these years later!

I was a senior in college and a Spanish major. I had several lit classes. For one class I was reading a novel about a brother and sister and for another the main characters were a couple having an affair. So in the brother /sister class the professor called on me to summarize the story. Yes, I got the stories mixed up and explained how the brother /sister gave in to temptation and spent the evening making love. Everyone cracked up, including the professor, who was asking me where I read that. I was still so thoroughly confused I started flipping through the book to see if I could find the page with the description. Then a classmate said " I think you have the wrong book." I was so mortified I think I just slumped down into my seat, never explaining I had gotten the two classes confused. Thankfully, the professor then called on someone else.

Drinking my morning coffee to these stories starts my day off with a smile, and a good chuckle!

When I was a new sophomore in high school, my best friend and I skipped our first chemistry lab class. I decided I was old enough (and cool enough) to skip class. We got caught and had to make the lab up at lunch. I had been spraying (drenching is more like it) SUN-IN in my hair, so it was very flammable. During the make-up lab, I bent over near the bunson burner to write in my lab notebook. The next thing I know the chemistry teacher is running across the room and patting my hair. My hair was on fire! Even my eyebrows were singed! I don't know how I didn't end up with a burn! I was so embarrassed! My friend vowed to never tell anyone. The next day, the first person I saw in the hallway said "hi torch!" And that was my nickname for the rest of the year. So much for being cool.

When I was in college my first year, I scored a near perfect on the chemistry midterm. I guess the dept. of chemistry was impressed. After giving out results, the professor called my name to come down. They had decided that I was bound for a career in chemistry. I tried to tell them that no, this was not in anyone's best interest, but they insisted. They gave me a job working in a chemistry lab. My first day, I broke several large thermometers. They had to call the a hazmat team in to clean the Mercury. The second day, I broke a whole bunch of thermometers. Again, the hazmat team. I never returned after that, and they never asked why.

So every year my dad, my brother and I meet in Seattle. We stay at the Washington Athletic Club which has indoor basketball and raquetball courts. There are often some serious basketball players on the court when we arrive. We think we are the stuff when it comes to basketball, but really we are a bunch of no-shot bumbling fools. Last year, my dad came out on the court in his boxers!!! When he realized what he had done, he ran up to his room to change, but he came down with his shorts on backwards! He had his black rubber raquetball goggles on the whole time and looked hilarious. We definitely did not look like we belonged on that court.

WHen I was a kid, I used to study at my dad's law office. One day, I Noticed a remarkable number Of police cars outside the office-nine! Then a couple policemen popped in the door with their guns raised and told me to stand against the wall. My dad came out of his office, asking what was going on. It turned out that there had been some break ins at the office. As a SPECIAL favor, the chief of police rigged a tv with an alarm in my dad's office. He was NOT to touch it under any circumstances. Well, that Sunday, my dad decided to watch some football on it! It triggered the alarm and the police showed up. The next day, they took the tv away.

I went up to a parent at the kids school, put my hand and her stomach and made some comment about maybe getting a girl this time, she already had 2 boys...UMMMM she wasn't pregnant. I was mortified!!! I had seen her from a far a week or two before and thought she looked like she could be pregnant...this day she was wearing a "billowy" top so I knew for sure she was pregnant :-0 NOPE.

My goodness, some of you have had majorly embarrassing mishaps! :-D

About the only thing that keeps coming to my mind is when I first started my current job, 23 years ago. It was my first day on the job, and I had dressed so nicely in a dress that had a white placket down the front. Of course, one of my first acts of the morning was to spill half a cup of coffee down my front while seated at my new desk, and as I was frantically trying to mop up the spill (which instantly stained my dress - badly), the CFO walked up to my desk and introduced himself. I was mortified, and the more I tried to gain some sense of composure, the redder my face turned. Talk about starting off on the wrong foot.

Fun, a fellow klutz, Rocky! lol In college I needed some extra money so I took a part-time job at a Roy Rogers fast food restaurant.

It was embarrassing enough having to say (or be fired), "Happy Trails!" to the customers after they paid for their meal, but one day I was taking fries out of the oil to flip them over on the stainless drain tray. It had a big heat lamp above the fries to keep them hot. Yes, I hit the lamp with the basket, and glass ended up in the fries. They called me at home later in the day to let me know I didn't need to comeback. :)

So then I applied to a nice restaurant as a waitress. The boss gave me a menu to take home to memorize. Oops. Forgot. Got fired the same day.

OMG, Rocky just reminded me of a recent embarrassment because of something that happened in high school a bazillion years ago. I don't think the person involved is reading GW. lol.

It was a beautiful day and two of my friends (I didn't really run around with them but we got along great) asked if I wanted to skip school that afternoon and go to the lake. Sure, I said. Stupid, because I never skipped unless I "didn't feel well" and stayed home.

The girls had brought 2 packs of Coor's Tall Boys. Remember those? I didn't drink so I just watched them guzzle the beer. After they were rip roaring drunk, and driving, we went back to school.

Late that afternoon after I got home, the doorbell rang. It was the high school principal. He asked if I would go with him to the superintendent's office and talk about "today." Oh oh. Parents were at work.

Come to find out, the two girls were so drunk they were falling down in class! We weren't in the same classes so I didn't know this.

I told the truth, that yes, they did drink but I didn't. They believed me and I was taken home. End of story for me.

Until one of the girls and I met up on FB a couple of years ago. She brought up the funny afternoon of drinking. Then she said she got suspended from school for a few weeks and said she had no idea who ratted "us" out. There was no way I was going to confess to her! lol. I played dumb and acted mad too!

I never missed a day of school since. :)

I am a wedding officiant. A few years ago, I had two couples within a week of each other, one with groom's last name of Tucker, one with groom's last name of Turner. The "Tucker" wedding was outdoors in a park in July. A huge afternoon thunderstorm started. The DJ had to shut down, and the guests were huddled under one large sunshade tent, as was the beautifully decorated cake. The caterer was in an accident, and all of the food was ruined. The bride refused to leave the car for 30 minutes. She finally emerged, we had the ceremony. I was soaking wet, they had insisted that I wear white. At the end, I pronounced them "Mr. and Mrs. Turner." The couple and the guests all shouted "TUCKER"! To this day, I quadruple check the pronouncement before reading it aloud!

All my most embarrassing moments involve nudity. I can think of three, but I will only tell you about one. When I was in 6th grade, just at the start of, um, "development," I was taking gymnastics. My dad's side of the family was visiting from across the country and I decided to show off my headstand skills. I could do a headstand for a LONG time. We had gone swimming earlier and I had my swimsuit on under my clothes. So everyone was gathered in the back yard -- maybe 15 family members -- and I did my headstand. My shirt fell down over my face but that was okay, because my bathing suit was under my shirt. Wasn't it? Uhhh...you can guess the rest. I had taken the bathing suit off so I had on NOTHING under my shirt. I think I spent the rest of the day hiding in my room.

Oh Sueb20, I die for you.

Back in 4th and 5th grade, we used to hang by our knees from horizontal bars in the playground all recess long. Like bats. Back then all the girls had to wear dresses, which dropped over our heads. Cotton Spanky Pants were the norm, but we also wore nylon undies that were much less opaque. Plus, by 5th grade, other developments were happening. Thankfully I was oblivious to the reality back then, but thinking about it now is just ugh.

It was the very first day at my new job, a very large teaching hospital in the Wayne State Medical School complex (in Detroit). I walked into the huge, bright, busy staff cafeteria with two of my fellow x-ray techs for lunch. The minute we sat down, 3 gorgeous interns quickly came over to our table to join us . . . and meet the new gal (me). I smiled hello as they were flirting and introducing themselves, took a drink of my iced tea . . . and promptly aspirated it! I coughed. I choked. I turned really bright red. I wheezed. I had tears (and probably iced tea) streaming down my face. I totally could not talk or breathe for what seemed like minutes. Being a medical facility, everyone was jumping up to see if they could help. I was so embarrassed! Thankfully, I have a good sense of humor and have no trouble laughing at myself. And I did about the whole thing. Eventually, when I could talk again, we all laughed, chatted and had an enjoyable finish to our lunch. I wouldn't have been the least bit surprised if every one of those guys pretended that they never knew me after that, but I actually ended up dating two of them during the time I worked there. Both nice guys, but neither ever let me forget how they met me (LOL)!

And here's my second most embarrassing event: This was after DH and I were married. We were with a group of OU alumni heading to an early season or preseason OU football game at the Pasadena Rose Bowl. It was a very hot 100-degree day and the charter bus we were all on after the game was stifling. After we started heading back to our hotel, we realized that the bus's air conditioning was not working. Several people complained, as the bus was completed filled with our group. The bus driver gave us some baloney answer about giving it time. Ten minutes later, still no air. So people started to open their windows. The bus driver then literally started screaming at us to close the windows. He continued to drive on . . . but not to our hotel! He took us on a very long drive through residential areas, all the while ranting and screaming at us. Everyone was getting pretty alarmed by this time, as he wouldn't stop the bus. And then me, the youngest person in the group, passes out from heat stroke! There were many folks there in their 70's and me, at 34 y/o is the one who keels over! Many of the women started screaming very loudly, DH later told me. A man started shouting that I was dying and our crazy driver pulled over. By that time my husband and two other men had me in their arms and rushed the front using my feet at a battering ram to push open the door before the driver could change his mind again. This, was all told to me (in great embarrassing detail) as I was recovering. I awoke some minutes later, lying on a very lush green (damp) lawn of a private mansion. I still can recall vividly the many ancient, tall trees I first saw. And then . . . the crowd of my fellow passengers and, I swear, half the neighborhood all standing around me and staring down at me. The fire department was also there, with a very big fire truck and it's ambulance. I was packed all around with bags of ice . . . many of which were leaking and making my cute Summer shirt fairly see-through. A sweet ambulance attendant asked me what else she could do to help me. My answer: "Please cover my face, I am so embarrassed!"

The ambulance eventually took me and my DH to a local hospital where I spent several hours with IV fluids running into me. They wanted to keep me overnight, but only released me because DH is a family practice doc and swore he'd watch me in our hotel room (and he did). I have no idea how all of my fellow OU alumni group made it back to our hotel, but they did all get back safely.

The bus driver was fired and I believe charges were brought against him. The charter bus company paid all of my medical bills. I should have sued them, but I didn't. To this day, every time I go to an OU (University of Oklahoma) event , like again just this past weekend, I still fret that people there will recognize me and remember that awful day in Pasadena. DH tells me not to worry, though. That I was their hero who got them all off our crazy bus ride in one piece. I just hope they don't also remember my wet tee shirt!

So I have to add another one! I bought a beautiful green plant at Ikea. I carefully braced it in the car so it wouldnt spill on the way home. I was determined to keep it alive and I faithfully watered it. I lapsed though and forgot about it. When I remembered to check on it, it was as green as ever! I made a mental note to find out what kind of hardy plant this was. My mother came to visit and I asked her what kind of plant it was. I told her nothing I did (or didnt do) seemed to hurt it. She replied "that's because it is FAKE!" LOL I didnt even notice I had been watering and caring for a plastic plant!

The other story is about my parents. They do not cook. For whatever reason, they held Thanksgiving dinner at their house for a bunch of friends and business partners many years ago. They brought the food from a caterer. There was a big discussion on whether to take the plastic off the turkey before heating it. They left it on. While they were entertaining their guests, they heard a loud BOOM! The oven door had blown off! The turkey was black. The spoon was stuck in the potatoes, which were hard. They said they picked the entire pan of potatoes up with the spoon! The biscuits looked like charcoals. What is even funnier is they tried to serve the turkey anyway! My dad said they kept serving drinks hoping people would get too drunk to notice. They ended up having to have the whole house repainted because of the smoke damage.

More! More!!!

And here's my second most embarrassing event

Lynn, that's gotta be the most embarrassing event period, in first place. It's like a made-for-TV movie.

I agree that lynn's story is great, but my money is on Sueb's headstand without underwear!! And you have 2 others which "involve nudity" you won't reveal? Wow!

Rockybird, I laughed aloud when I read that your plant was fake!

I can't tell you how many embarrassing moments I have to choose from. There was a time in my life when people would say, "I pulled a Funky" referring to doing something embarrassing! And.. like SueB, far too many of them involve nudity... and I am so not the kind of woman (even when very in shape) to prance my body about!

Here are just a few..

I went to an interview in what I thought was a great look-- a silk button down, navy skirt/jacket. I KNEW I looked great and professional.. I left the interview and discovered that my blouse had become unbuttoned .. beyond the point of being sexy.. it was beneath my bra. I was MORTIFIED.. but I got the job!

Early in a prior career, I worked with a number of engineers and was responsible for doing reliability analysis. I had extensive experience with statistics, analysis and reporting but virtually no engineering experience. I had to put together a big report on the outcome of an inspection program (on a fleet of airplanes) and I had to present it to the managers and VP. I was in my 20s at the time and not only was I the youngest person in the room, I was the only female. I went on for 30 min or so talking about the "ball-c*ck" inspection .. and that was about the limit for these guys to hold their laughter. It was a "ball-lock" inspection. I had misread the handwriting on the original order (and all the inspections were identified by number) and had been repeatedly saying ball and .. well, you get the picture. Again. I was MORTIFIED and I did not live it down until I'd left the company.

Our church choir director is also an interior house painter. He's gay, a fact which he does not advertise but everyone knows anyway.

We purchased a new house and I hired "John" to repaint. I came home from work one day when John was painting. I went up the steps toward the bedrooms and I could hear the paint roller going swish, swish and I thought it was coming from the large hall closet. Well I rounded the corner and stuck my head in the closet to say Hi. The closet was empty. Nearly the same moment that I realized he wasn't in there, he popped out from a bedroom across the hall and said Hi, making me jump. I said, "Oh John! You scared me! I thought you were in the closet!"

He gave me the oddest look. I didn't realize what I had said until a couple of weeks later.

Oh my gosh Suebe-I don't know how you survived that incident! It did remind me of my one semi-nude incident. I was working in a bank in the early 80's, and one day I was talking on the phone to a customer with my back to the wall.
After i hung up I got another call, it was from the drive up teller. Apparently I'd been standing in front of a window that looked out to the drive up lane. My skirt had gotten caught up in my pantyhose and I was wearing these new fangled hose that had a cotton crotch so you could avoid panty lines. I had been mooning the Friday lunch crowd in the drive up for a good 10 minutes.

Oh my gosh Funky, I about spewed my coffee when I was reading your post. I can only imagine how difficult it was for a room full of men to contain their laughter.

Sueb, I swear if that had happened to me I'd still be hiding in my room.

Reading these posts reminded me of an embarrassing event during nursing school. We were doing our med-surg rotation and I was told that my patient would be released that day after care instructions were given to the pt by Dr P. I was in the room as Dr P (yes he was very handsome but also the kindest man with a huge amount of empathy) gave his release instructions and he left the room. The pts husband showed up and I was scurrying around getting everything ready for her release. The husband went to get his car and I got a wheelchair and took the pt down to the lobby, helped her into the car and waved them off. When I got back to my unit the charge nurse was looking for me and wondering where my pt was. I told her that she was on her way home. Well who released her....ummm I did. The problem was I hadn't checked her chart, Dr P hadn't signed the release form yet. I know I was white as a ghost and I thought, oh crud, here goes my career as a nurse before it's even started.I thought I was in deep do do. They called Dr P and he was gracious enough to tell them that HE was the one who had been negligent in not signing the release form and that indeed he had released her. He signed his name and said that all is well. When my nursing instructor learned what I had done she said "Lewis, in the break room now" I figured this is it, I'm a goner. Well I told her what happened and this usually stoic, dry sense of humor instructor collapsed in laughter. When she finally got herself under control she told me about an incident that happened to her when she was in training. I always loved and looked up to Miss W but that day she was a human being and I loved her even more for it. Dr P, my hero for the day, has my tremendous respect and admiration to this day!

I have to say I am getting the biggest kick out of all these hilarious stories. Just so happens one of my most embarrassing moments happen just a couple of weeks ago.

My MIL came for a long weekend visit with her son and my SIL. MIL has friends here so I thought it might be nice to get together for lunch. I have never met her friends so I was looking forward to it. After meeting them out side we sat at the big round table chatting and waiting for our meal. Now mind you, my MIL can be one of the most generous of all people but it's very well known she can also be, lets just say very hard to handle. One of the lady's ask me how long I had been friends with (MIL's name)? Somewhat taken back that she didn't already know I was her DIL, I said, well you know she is my MIL? to which the room burst out into a roar of laughter. What I ment to say was she was more than just a friend, she's my MIL and family of 36 years. OH, did I ever get the evil eye.

I was up at a ridiculous hour - 3am - because I had to get to the office to pick up a state car then drive four hours to an arbitration hearing on the other side of the state. Needless to say, it's pitch black outside, and cold. I've loaded my car and started to back out, when I notice this strange, scruffy little car going slowly down the street, then turning and coming back past my house. We have a good bit of property crime in our area, so I was concerned about what might be going on. I decided to follow the car for a bit to see if it moved along out of the neighborhood.

Sadly, it didn't head out to the main drag. It turned into a cul de sac, then turned around and came back out and went back the way it had come. What the heck? Is he drunk? I followed for a few more turns, then decided to call 911. I had dispatch on the phone and described where I was turn by turn. Dispatch said an officer would look for me. About 30 seconds later two cruisers approached. I pulled across an intersection where one officer was. The other officer stopped the scruffy little car.

I watch the officer approach the little car, and they exchange some words. Then the little car drives off. What the heck? The officer near me says "ma'am, that's the paper delivery guy."

Did I mention it was 3am? And really dark?

neetsie, that one had me laughing out loud.

I will just say that my other two embarrassing moments stories involved walking in on my own father in the bathroom when I was about 12 or 13, and many years later... me, my serious college boyfriend, and impromptu visitors to his dorm room. Eek.

I was having trouble remembering something pretty funny. Then neetsiepie's story reminded me of one. Do you all remember wrap-around skirts back in the 70's? Well, I had this cute denim one and I learned to make sure it was very securely tied on a windy day. Yep, it had come loose when I was walking into work from the parking lot and that thing took off like a sail. Fortunately I grabbed it before it went too far, and the first thing I did was look around and thought 'Did anybody see that?'. Got it back around me and kept going. I still don't know if anyone was behind me and whatever they saw but I sure was embarrassed.

Another was when I ran into the wife of a co-worker. They had a little boy around 3 at the time and I swear she looked pregnant, so I asked 'Are you and X expecting?' Well, no, they were not. I was mortified!

Wasn't it Dave Barry who wrote never ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you see the baby coming out.

Oh! OutsidePlaying reminded me of another! Those darn wrap-around skirts.........

Back in the '90's, I spent some time doing marketing for a home infusion company. I met a dear friend during that time. His name was David and he was a pharmacist that came from Dallas to make calls with me. Sometimes though, we had cocktails and shopped instead. We had a lot in common; stormy childhoods, decorating, shopping and problems with the man in our lives.

One afternoon, he decided my outfit needed new shoes. I had on a lined silk wrap-around skirt and matching silk blouse. Off we went to Dillard's. I sat down while he chose shoes. I tried on the first pair and he was right; they were perfect! I stood up and prissed over to the shoe mirror, about 15 feet away. As I spun to check out the back, I saw my skirt still laying in my chair.

David was laughing with tears streaming down his cheeks. He picked up my skirt to bring it to me but was laughing so hard he fell to his knees. He dropped to his back and started wiping his tears with my skirt and then just covered his face with it. Everyone in the vicinity just belly-laughed and I had to swat David to get my skirt.

This was back when we wore panty hose. That day, I had tucked my blouse into my hose to get a nice, smooth look under that silk skirt.

Oh, cattyles, your story is much better than mine! I don't think I ever wore one again, did you? What a great friend, your David. I'd probably have laughed right along with him, even if I was the butt of the joke. I'm the type that if someone starts laughing like that, it cranks me right up too.

And, hhireno, if it was Dave Barry, he is absolutely right and I learned that lesson right quick!

These stories are so great. If we can't be embarrassed and tell these stories, we aren't normal.

Outside, I definitely laughed right along! It was just too funny and everyone around seemed to have needed a laugh at the same time. It's a great memory, despite the embarrassment. But no, I never wore that skirt or any wrap-around again.

I still have those shoes. When I wear them, I smile and think about my friend that picked them out for me. Sadly, he passed away. But it felt like he was near again, by sharing this memory! :-)

We live in a mountain community and our street/development has less than 15 homes on it. We each have at least 2 acres of land around us, so . . . while I can see a few of my neighbors homes, I see them at a distance. One morning a few Winters ago, I was looking out my front windows when I saw a strange man walking down my next door neighbor's loooong driveway towards their house. This, I could see, was not my neighbor, his wife, or their cleaning lady. I didn't want to ignore it, as we all watch each other's homes out here, so I call my neighbor at work. I told him what I saw and he asked if I could see his cleaning lady's car in their parking area. His wife was traveling out of town on business, so he knew it wasn't her. Nope, no cars anywhere. So, he asks me to call the police, as he's actually answering my call during his class (he's a professor at the university). He then told me in a whisper to tell the police that a specific side door was unlocked. I called 911 and a couple of minutes later I see a police car rushing up their driveway. Because of the angle of our two homes, I couldn't see anything else.

Later that evening, my neighbor called to tell me what happened. The police officer entered the house very quietly with his gun drawn . . . only to confront my neighbor's cleaning lady carrying a basket piled high with clean, folded laundry. The poor woman was frightened out of her wits, threw the basket of clothes in the air, and almost passed out at seeing a police officer there pointing a gun at her and yelling, "Halt! Put your hands in the air!" The guy walking down the driveway was her adult son. They were afraid the driveway was too slick for her car to get up, and so her son drove her and then walked her up the driveway so she wouldn't slip. He had parked his car down on the main road, and they'd walked from it there. But, when I saw him he was coming back to the house a second time, bringing his mom something she'd forgotten in the car. So he was alone when I saw him. My neighbor didn't blame me. His cleaning lady didn't blame me, but I felt absolutely horrible and so embarrassed at what we innocently put that poor woman through!

I have blocked out my most embarrassing moment...until now.

The day after I saw the movie, Seven, I was having my nails done next to a woman who had a Seven t-shirt on. I happened to mention I just saw the movie. She asked me what I thought of it. I told her "I hated it, I hated it, and I hated it." (I rarely hate a movie and normally I wouldn't be so vocal). She said: "Oh, we like to hear feedback.". OMG! I said. Do you have something to do with the movie? Yes, she says. My husband and I are the producers".

The movie had just been released the day we saw it and you'd have thought I would have figured out who else would be wearing a t-shirt with the movie's name other than someone associated with the movie. But my brain was way too slow to compute. I looked as hard as I could for a hole to crawl in, but alas there was none.

I could not apologize enough and she was so gracious. Then again, I think the movie made $50 million the first day it was released so I'd be gracious too :-). (She was really a very, very nice person and had produced many other movies I loved, The Fugitive being one).

Marlene, I hated it, hated it, hated it, too! It still gives me nightmares all these years later. But, I have to admit, that yours is a very funny story!

Sure, Lynn, laugh at my humiliation :-).