Oh, now THAT'S funny! Good going, Coral, picking up strange men at the nursery. rofl

I'll have to think, I don't recall doing anything awful lately.

must be my wedding day. I smiled with all blue teeth, after my brand new husband fed me a blue flower.

Everybody laughed, and I didn't only not speak the language, but had no idea why.

Then my sis came back in the room and she saw, took my hand and let me out.

I brushed my teeth. But I have NEVER forgotten that.

Moni

In the early 80's I was on my second strawberry daquiri at a local bar. I started feeling sick and ran to the ladie's room. All the stalls were full, so I'm begging the occupants to hurry up. One girl opens her door and I threw up all over her.

A few years ago my oldest son and I went to the local Meijer store for a few things. It was a rainy day. We made it inside the store only for me to remember that I left an item that I needed to return, in the car. I sent Zach back out to the car to get that item. Worried he may be kidnapped, I walked outside and watched him without him knowing. I got the wise idea to hide behind a large pillar in front of the store and jump out to scare him when he ran by. When I jumped out he jumped in shock and slipped and fell. I laughed uncontrollably which resulted in me wetting my pants ......... right in front of Meijer. Zachery wasn't hurt, though he was beyond humiliated by his mother.

*Note, I have a vast history of bladder control "issues".

Oh, how many I've had- like on a flight from Charlotte to San Francisco I had to use the john- got in line with others and when my time came I forgot to lock the door. Someone opened it thinking the stall was empty and there I sat. I remember all those faces staring at me. When I finished I slunk back to my seat and didn't get up again till we reached SFO.

I was in junior high. For some reason, I decided to comb my hair when I got into science class. I have very fine hair that tends to knot up when it gets longer. I somehow managed to get the comb stuck in my hair and the teacher chose that exact moment to call me up to the front of the class- I had to go up with the comb sticking out of the side of my head!

Trish in SC

DH's girlfriend was here for supper one time, ages ago, and the dog picked that time to throw up right in front of her.

Well , ya know how your mom always told you to put toilet tissue on the seat so you didn't get germs?

We went to a Wendy's restaurant and I just had to go. Some how I managed to get the seat tissue stuck to the back of my jeans and it trailed behind me as I went to join my hubs in line. I was mortified when someone finally tapped me on the shoulder to gently show me my paper trail.

I thought he would die laughing.

Geez.

My most recent have to do with Conway: trotting out of the bedroom with a pair of soiled undies in his mouth or dragging, um, feminine products out of the bathroom waste basket into the living room.

All in front of company, of course.

The first time I was ever on an airplane was the most embarrassing for me. My sister had the window seat, I was in the middle and a very large (okay over weight) man had the aisle seat. They served lasagna for our meal and I started to get air sick with the turbulence. I didn't know where the air sick bag was and I couldn't get over this man quick enough to get to the washroom. Yep...I threw up all over his shoes and pants leg. On top of that when we landed the stewerdess told the captain that I looked like I would faint so they got a wheelchair for me. My BIL thought it was funny when he piled the luggage on top of my lap and I was wheeled all the way to the car.

After that I always made sure I took my air sick pills with me.

SamKaren
your resident DJ

Oh Coral....that is sooooo funny....I guess because I'm always getting a free feel of my hubby's cute little behind....or....no I won't go there...
I guess I'd better make sure I look before I "leap"....

How embarrassing....

My dumbest moment's been told a few times over the years but I'll never forget how dumb I felt.

it's the night light that turns it's self on at dusk story..

First time I'd ever seen them in K-Mart....I picked it up and cupped it in my hands...trying to make it as dark as possible..and peeking in....I said "these don't work"...then realizing they needed to be plugged up....

There was a young man stocking the shelves on the other side...I heard snickering then a full blown laughing...the kind you can't hold in...

My "friend" who was shopping was holding herself up on the cart she was pushing...She was also in a full blown laugh...a real gut buster...and walking away from me...I'm sure it was so no one thought she was with the idiot.

What's worse is...I was stupid enough to tell my family...

That must have been 20 years ago...and I'm still hearing about it.

patti

Years ago...and it's still embarassing. I was wearing an elastic top no straps and no bra. I tripped and fell and my top exposed my boobs.....to the whole world. I was on a first date.

At least I was young and boobs were still "perky". Hadn't gone south yet. LOL!

Gayle, what did you do for your 2nd date? Or was there one?
Leslie
LOL

OMG Gayle, that reminds me! When I was about 18 or so we had gone out on a sail boat with friends. I get horribly sea sick so I thought if I could just get into the water I would feel better. So in I went. Yes, I had a swimsuit on. We were right in the middle of some bay in Newport. When it came time to get back on the boat my friends (guys) lifted me out of the water backwards- my top had come off and I managed to flash a fishing boat-

Trish

I'll tell my sisters because I was the witness.
Dutch Boy paints set up a display in a local store. The theme was Dutch Boy covers the earth and it featured a moving paint can that would look like it was dumping paint on a globe. We were walking by and she bumped the display - hard. She turned only to see the top paint can falling off the side. She sucked in her breath with a waivering wail and everyone heard her. Then the paint can righted itself again.
Me - I was picked by a dancer to do the twist onstage with him at a theme park. I never could do the twist. Tried my best but it was awful and my BIL sister and mom were busting their sides laughing at me.
If I would have known what was coming I would have run the other way.

Coral....I just bet you made that guy's day. LOL

One of my many moments was when I was a newlywed and had to do our laundry at DH's mom's house. She would come to the laundry room to chat with me as I folded the clothes and I was sooooo embarrassed for her to see me touching hubby's underwear. LOL Dottie

I have tears in my eyes from laughing!

years ago I was at someone's graduation in Maryland and after the fetivities, I hit the bar in the hotel lobby where I was staying. Well, I decided to take two bottles back up to my room instead of just sitting there. While watching tv in my pjs, I spilled beer on myself and thought, well I'm not sharing the room with anyone, so I'll just take the shirt off.

Well, I used to have a habit of sleep walking so the next thing I remember I am in the hall of the Sheraton, no shirt on.. door is very much locked. No clue what time it is. No key, and I am NOT going to the lobby like this. So with crossed arms over the exposed areas, I started looking in room peep holes trying to see a blue glow that would indicate the TV was on. And then I knocked.. a young guy came to the door, and I very straight faced exlpained the problem and could I please borrow a t shirt. I hear a young female voice say.. who is it honey, and I figured I was about to get my butt kicked in the hall. The guy didn't even blink, got me a shirt and I said I will be right back. I went to the desk, got a new key, changed into my own shirt and returned the other. Guy was very, very nice.

This wasn't me but good lord did DSis and I laugh over it.
She was here to give me a perm a couple weeks ago. She was having trouble with her Tracfone. So she wanted to use our phone to call them as hers wouldn't do anything. SHe dials and waits and waits for like 10 minutes. Finally gets someone and they tell her turn the phone on, ok now push this,that and the other thing, ok now whats it say? She tells them. Ok now try to call someone on it before we hang up to make sure its working ok. She says ok and starts pushing buttons. I was standing around the corner in the next room, pretty soon she yells, Connie do you have your phone off the hook? I look at the phone on the wall, Nooooo its on the hook,(we have 3 different phones in the house), she's going you don't? I'm just ready to ask DH if he has one off the hook somewhere and it hits me,
I started laughing and said ummmmmmm Laurie YOU are on my phone!!! Her face turned beet red and OMG we just both busted out laughing so hard! The cellphone guy on the other phone was laughing too she said!! He cleared his throat and said Maam, how about I call you on your cell phone and we will make sure its working that way!!!!!!!!
She could barely choke out OK! All night we laughed over that, I mean literally bent over double at the stupidity of it. Every now and then one of us would say "is your phone off the hook?" and we'd start in laughing again.

I dunno now reading this it might have been funnier if you were here! LOL

I believe I've shared this story a long time ago. I was 16,a sophmore-it was 1960 and our church group took a bus load of us kids roller skating. My 'date' was this dreamboat classmate of mine. You may recall-that was the days of crinoline petticoats-the more yards you were wearing-the better! Well I think I had on a pink one & a white one-bringing yardage to about 150 yds. We were skating to a 'couples only' when our skates locked together & down I went! I was SO embarrased-got up quickly to go wash the blood off my knee. The ladies room was at the other end of the rink, and when I was almost to my destination-someone called out "Hey Sharon-look behind you". I turned around and here was about 100 yds of petticoat piping making a trail from the point of impact to where I was standing! I guess part of the slip was hooked under his skate when I got up & headed to the bathroom. OMG-I was SO embarrassed!!! We both got over it & laughed about it but I remember 2 years later when He & I were voted 'Best All Around' of our Sr class-they had wrapped a sheet 'all around' the 2 of us for a photo for the yearbook.During our wrap up-he said "Hey Shar..we should've had this sheet wrapped around us at the skating rink..kinda' like a body band aid!" LOL.

LOL at Coral! Mine was similar. My first full time job 36 years ago (I was 18 years old) was at a local pizza parlor. The manager was also a good friend of mine and her brother came into the pizza parlor often. He was a funny (humorous) guy with a shiny pate. One day I looked up to see him and another guy sitting at a table. I went over to take their order and I smiled and reached out my hand and rubbed his bald spot. That's when we made eye contact and I realized that this was not my friend's brother. He gave me a lecherous smile. I'm sure he thought I was just one friendly gal, LOL. I could have died!

Had a good laugh at donna's
Mine isn't too thrilling.When in high school my steady and I broke up (many times) and I went out with someone else. We decided to go to a movie and I picked a theater I seldom went to. after plowing over those sitting in the back row balcony we sat down and guess who next too?
Right my Steady and some rival he went out with for spite.

My kids had many friends from different races and cultures. One day I saw a young black teenager standing at the bus stop with a bunch of other high-schoolers in a torrential downpour. He was wearing a hooded coat but I decided to stop and offer him a ride.

It sort of went like this. I pulled to the curb and beckoned for him to come over. "Get in" I said. He looked perplexed. "It's ok,really, I'm K's mom. Jump in"

"Lady I don't know you and I don't know what you want but I am not getting in your car with you."

Wrong kid. A complete stranger who had this middle aged white woman try to coax him into her car at a bus stop.

DS's real friend thought it was hilarious. I felt lucky the cops weren't called.

Well my most embarrassing was an episode where I was scratching a private part and I was not being very lady like about it...My husband walked into the room and it was a long long time ago but I still remember how embarrassed I was at the time.

I think all the stories are funny, especially Coral's and Donna's!

The most embarrassing thing I ever did happened a few years ago. We were going bowling with friends, but we all stopped at Sears first. It was a nice summer day, and I briskly walked right INTO the glass door because it was very, very clean and I thought it was open! I didn't know what hit me! My friends were killing themselves laughing, asking if I was ok. Man, do I know how to make a spectacle of myself at times!

Walking up Broad St, in center city Philadelphia - middle of the day.
I felt something on my legs...it was my half-slip falling down! The elastic had broken.

I stepped out of the slip, crammed it into my purse, and walked on.

Thankfully, I was alone.

You guys are killing me! LOL

This one is not about me, but my parents. After they retired they bought a home in FL and would go there each winter. The first winter, being new and all they didn't know much about the area. They were in the car and looking for a certain street. My mom kept nagging my dad to stop and ask for directions, so at the next stop light he pulled over because there were a couple of Cuban men standing there. My mom lowers her window to ask them for directions and the two men open the back door of my parent's car and get in. Turns out the guys didn't speak English and thought my parent's were offering them a ride! LOL Turned out fine, but could have been dangerous.

Mine is a story from first grade. It was the end of the school year and I had worn tights with my dress and it got very warm that day. Being only 6, and not knowing better, I went to the restroom and took my tights off because it was too hot with them on, and I stuffed them in my underwear. Later I was in music class, and we were dancing around the room, and the teacher says "Do these belong to anybody?" and he is standing there holding my tights up in the air. I didn't say they were mine, I was so embarrassed. My luck I was probably the only one wearing a dress too LOL

Aww...man! Love all these stories! I'll have to come back to this post when I have more time and share a few....LOL

Monica!!! That happened to me several years ago as well. I was a teen and was in a bookstore.. mine ended up in the trash though. :)

Coral, same thing happened to my cousin. We had another cousin who was a new cop and walking the beat. She grabbed him the same way and when he turned around it was another policeman who she didn't know.

Lydia1959, you win the prize. I'd go to my grave embarrassed if something like that happened to me. Hopefully she had enough in her so it didn't bother her too much.

Zeetera, I can tell you I stayed in the stall until she left. She was trying to clean herself up at the sink and other girls would come in and say "Ewww.. WHAT happened to YOU??".

This happened about 3 weeks ago. You know when you reach a certain age, it can be difficult to not pass gas. We were in a nice grocery store on the wine aisle which is kind of dimly lit for some reason. (ambiance?) My DH was looking for a bottle of wine and me and DD (age 7) were with him while he was looking, scooting down every once in awhile while he perused the wines. I swear there was not a soul in sight and the bathroom was too far away so I broke an SBD. Right at that moment, from out of nowhere, a man walks up as my DD announces in a loud voice "Ew, Mommy, you pooted!" I was mortified. Absolutely mortified. (I have to admit that upon occasion, I have passed gas on one aisle and quickly run to another!)

Recently? When a male co-worker - admiring my perfect paperwork - shouted across the office:

"Dances, you bring anal to a whole new level".

I breathed in, but held my breath because I didn't know how to respond ROFL.

It was really quiet for a bit, and one co-worker let out a giggle, then we all laughed uncontrollably for a very long time.

I went in the rest room at a Walmart...and it was the men's restroom. Some guy was standing at a urinal. I said, "Oh, God! I'm sorry!!" At the Walmart, I usually frequent, the ladies room is the first one you come to. At this one, it is the second one. I hadn't even looked to see if I was going in the correct one.

I also remember when I was about 16. I was a late bloomer, and I didn't have much in the way of breasts until I was in my 30's...but as a teen, I had one of those circle stitched, padded bras. They were kind of pointy...if you can remember those, circa 1960's. I was at my friend's parents' weekend place and we had been riding horses with some boys I went to school with. One of them, I was super crazy about. He was just the dreamiest guy I had ever seen. We were out by the corral and he put his arms around me and kissed me. Swoon!! Then he pulled me closer and I heard my bra collapse...plop, plop. I was so mortified, and he couldn't help but notice...but he never acted like he did.
What a sweetie he was!

ROFL at all of these!!! MissIndia, yours is especially hilarious to me, because my husband used to do that in class when he taught junior high. By the time the kids noticed the SBD, he'd be on the other side of the room laughing as they all started pointing fingers at each other.

The most embarassed I ever remember being was my freshman year in HS. I traveled with the marching band to band competition at another high school. As we were loading the bus for the long ride home, a couple friends and I asked to find a bathroom before we left. We asked if he knew where it was and he told us no, "Just open doors into the building until you find it."

Following that direction, first door into the building we came to was a solid, dark door, and my friends said "Go ahead, you open it first." I did, walked through a concrete block hallway, and into the middle if a men's locker room full of old men in their underwear. I don't know who looked more shocked, them or me.

Just a couple years ago- I was traveling- long drive, 3rd day, had a dog with me. I was getting everything out of the car at a motel- couldn't find my cell phone-was almost in a panic, as I was afraid I lost it. A couple men were outside the motel door-several oil rig workers were staying at that motel. One had a cell phone- I sked if he would call my number-if the phone was in a hiding spot in the car or a pocket..it would ring, then I could find it by hearing the ring. 'Sure' he says- he dials the number I tell him......and my boobs start ringing! I had tucked the phone in my bra while carying something else...I thought the 2 guys were gonna die laughing- I'm sure they told all the guys at work about the ringing boobs on the dumb blond!