Conflicted by abusive step sons
mmoneill31
8 years ago
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Comments (14)
Southern Summer
8 years agocolleenoz
8 years agoRelated Discussions
20 year old son is verbally and physically abusive to mother
Comments (7)You're participating in his assaults by NOT reporting him. How will you feel if next week he abuses that little baby and it dies? Will you feel badly that you could have done the right thing and reported it, but didn't? or will you just be glad it wasn't you he killed? I'm sorry--really I am--to be so blunt, but you're describing a very serious situation. Your son SHOULD be in jail. He won't learn to grow up and be responsible until those around him insist that he face the appropriate consequences for his actions. At the very least, Monday morning, call your lawyer, sit down with him/her, tell them everything. Find out what your responsibilities are (could you be charged with a crime if you DON'T report the crimes you know he's committed?) and what your options for protecting yourself are. Get the right answers from a professional in your jurisdiction. And while you're at it, please also research shelters in your area. Keep that info on you, just in case you or the baby's mother need it. I do wish you the best, but I also hope you realize what you have to do and do it....See MoreCan't stand Step-son, do I leave DH?
Comments (38)Thank you, thank you, thank you to Silversword and lamom. You get what I am saying. I was not trying to "goat" anyone into anything or stir up the pot. I really was posting my deep thoughts, kind of like a journal to myself while at the same time trying to explain the situation. The reason I wrote the stuff about the BM being proud of being 'white trash' was because I was trying to explain about what I am dealing with here. That is all. I am the furtherest thing from someone who is all high and mighty and I don't think I am better than anyone else. In fact I am more of the black sheep in my family partly because I am not so judgmental and I am the rebel. I have tattoos, moved out at 17 on my own, don't like people to tell me what to do, etc. And yes I freely admit I am a control freak. That is something I am working very hard on. After the first post I was just adding details and my mind and thinking were changing. I am glad that my tune has changed since last Sunday. I am feeling much more optimistic now. Honestly I didn't think I was even going to come back to this site and I told myself today ok just go see what was said but don't post anymore. I am glad I did come back because both silversword and lamom made feel better and realize that not everyone here is so judgemental. I can take criticism and I was really thankful for the first few posts that told me to grow up because that is exactly what I needed to hear. And I do not get off on or enjoy writing inflammatory posts. I am sorry I was just writing my story and the quotes that sylviatexas posted that I wrote on the first day I registerd were written because that is what was said. I was not making anything up, that is my story and I am sticking to it, lol. My DH did not graduate but I don't hold that against him. I still love him very much. He also had a drug addiction in his past but you know what he is stronger for it and has proven how he can overcome almost anything. People do change and I do not hold their past on them forever. When I say he went through a bad period that is what I was referring. There is, of course, way more to the story and lamom is right you can not describe it all in one post, or even probably in 100. But what matters most is that this site did help me. I got a change to write my thoughts down and try to figure out what in the world I was really feeling. The more I wrote about SS and what HE has to deal with the more I found that I do care about him. I really do. It is still going to take time to build a relationship but I think it is all going to be ok....See MoreStep-Sons a Living Nightmare
Comments (2)Well, we've read alot about the stepsons now, but little about why you're still there. How long have you been married? Me? I'd take my own money, get on a plane and go West. Find an independent living center where they won't allow all the soon to be ex wife and her baggage to follow and live out my years happy. I'd meet friends in the social room that I could enjoy doing things with (senior vans take groups for activities and events, dr appointments whatever) and I'd visit with my own children and grandchildren when their schedules permit. You? What's holding to living your current 'nightmare'? Seriously, no matter what these stepsons are like or what they are doing matters little...the wife that is allowing and enabling it to transpire in the household is what really is your problem. You're never going to 'fix' these grown children and does not sound as if your wife wants to chance anything. That leaves your only option being to decide for yourself you are going to change what you personally can and remove yourself from all of them. Talk to your lawyer, make your plans and go live your life. Don't look back and enjoy the rest of your years....See MoreAdult Step Son controls with anger
Comments (7)I have been struggling, - in the dark at first, but now I have seen the light - with my step son since he was 9 years old. He lost his mother to breast cancer when he was a baby and then I came into his life when he was a preschooler. He was a darling boy who loved his father's attention and knew how to get it. As he became older, he was spoiled by his father and treated fairly by myself, just as I did his brother 9 years older and my own two daughters. He is now 26 years old and I am still struggling. His father is still spoiling him - giving him money even though he has not worked full time since his 6 years in college. He is a full blown narcissist. He bullies everyone including his father. I just can't be around it, so I travel alot to see friends, and family. When I return home there is always something. This last time I figured out his Passive Agressiveness. He always entertains at our home when we are gone, even though he doesn't live here. This time it was taking the couch pillows from the living room - three pillows that match the sofa and the chair. I didn't notice at first, but the next day I checked myself first, "Self, did you take those pillows to the basement for laundering? No they are not down there." I find it very very difficult to stay quiet about the small things he does. In the past, I have confronted him, but then he makes up falsehoods to his father about me - his dramas - to cause trouble and make me look bad. Most of the time, his father and I can't even speak for about a week - the freezer. Well, I am out of the freezer because I haven't spoken a word about this episode. Hope I can keep my mouth shut. The sad part of this is I just don't live at home very much. I will not knowingly choose to be anywhere around this boy - Golden Boy - narcissist. I go to therapy but the therapist wants me to come to see her with Golden Boy. I just haven't been able to get myself to do that. His loft apartment is full of things he has lifted from my home and expensive toys he should not be able to afford. I won't go there anymore. I get angry when I see the things he has taken from me. His father doesn't care. If anyone has any solutions I would love to hear them....See Moremmoneill31
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoSouthern Summer
8 years agosylviatexas1
8 years agommoneill31
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agocacocobird
8 years agoraee_gw zone 5b-6a Ohio
8 years agoSuzieque
8 years agosylviatexas1
8 years agocacocobird
8 years agommoneill31
8 years ago
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