Can't stand Step-son, do I leave DH?
txnursingqt
14 years ago
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DHs - You can't live with them and you can't kill them!!!
Comments (28)He mistook crocus bulbs for potatoes, Jannie? OMG, that's a riot! And the best part is catching him in the act! lolol Mine doesn't throw my stuff away but he puts it away WHILE I'm using it or before I'm done with it. It's not like I leave stuff lying around. For example, the other night I was making a pasta dish. I put the colander in the sink so I could drain the angel hair. Went to get the pot about 2 minutes later and the colander was gone! Gone! Where's the colander? Oh, he says- I thought you were done with it so I washed it and put it away. (Oh, I know what you're thinking, "Isn't he helpful! And look, he washes dishes!) Yeah, yeah..... it's not helpful to wash a perfectly clean item and move it as I'm preparing to dump boiling hot water in it! I asked him if he noticed the pasta boiling on the stove and he said he didn't, but he can spot a standing colander from 50 paces! He puts away salad fixings, too, before I've made the salad. It's ridiculous, I pull them out, he puts them away. I ask where's my lettuce and he says "I thought you were done with it." Um, see any bowls of lettuce anywhere, Einstein? lol Men. Grrrrr. Don't EVER let him retire, Clare! Find him a job. Give him a honey-do list that won't quit. Anything, but keep him busy outside! Oh, and how come Mr. "Place For Everything and Everything In Its Place" can't close the closet door in the LR? I close that bi-fold door about 20 times a day but if I say anything, I'm a nag....See MoreI can't do it. I just can't do it.
Comments (34)I have never had a subscription to a cooking magazine - the only subscription I did have was to Illuminatrice, an Italian lighting magazine, and that was at work. The only magazines that I buy at the newsstand are Italian design magazines, some of which are quite expensive (I used to buy men's Italian fashion magazines, when I was more fashionable), and I have saved every one of them. I also buy Architectural Digest, Interiors, Veranda, etc. when they publish photos of my furniture designs, and I keep these also. My old magazine collection takes up one shelf in my garage, and I do refer to the Italian magazines from time to time for inspiration. I do collect clutter, but books and magazines are not part of that. I have one shelf of cookbooks in the hall next to the kitchen. I once bought a magazine on Feng Shui, but I decided that the magazine was clutter and got rid of it. I spent last week-end trying to declutter my bedroom because I also bought a new mattress that will be delivered tomorrow, and I want my room to look nice. Yesterday I made a runner with the fabric left over from making new drapes for my bedroom (to be able to block out light) and put it on the wide dresser beside my bed. The dresser on the other side of my bed has a runner I made from fabric left over from when I made my bedspread. I find that decorating or trying to coordinate rooms helps me get rid of clutter. However, I did put a bunch of books on the wide dresser using bookends. I don't have room for another bookcase. If I need to get more books, I will get rid of old ones that I have. Lately I have been buying and reading books on Anthropology and early human evolution. I read them at night to help me get to sleep, and so it takes a while to get through them. I cannot stand to watch Hoarders, but I will watch Clean House if I need inspiration to declutter. Making my house and yards look as beautiful as possible is one of my top priorities, and this helps me let go of clutter. I haven't gotten rid of it altogether, however, and so I think it is an on-going process. I have a hard time getting rid of old clothes that no longer fit, and I am convinced that sometime in the near future, they will fit again. Anyway, that is my goal. They may be terribly out of style or inappropriate by that time, however. Getting rid of old clothes is my biggest problem. One of the things I came across yesterday while decluttering was a printout from a Cooking Forum thread from 2005 that I started asking what was in everyone's freezer. It included a post by Ann_T on pitahaya (I happened to have some in my freezer at the time) that she had copied and pasted, bad Google translation and all. The translation was hysterically funny. Lars...See Morecan't stand step-son
Comments (15)@ parent of one: i know that smacking his bum was not the best choice but given the cirucumstances it was all i could think of to get it through his head that he'd better not do that again. and he hasn't so i guess it served it's purpose. other than that i think i will just continue to step back and keep my distance if possible. i have already done the parenting courses. i have also been attending the odd lecture when they come up. there is a support group i could attend but DH does not want to go, and he does not want me to take the kids even if there is childcare there and i am hesitant to leave him with all the children for the amount of time it would take to get there and be back because he is lacking in the patience department. he also will not go to any type of parenting group or agree to have anyone come into the home and 'tell him how to raise his kids' as he puts it. i realize that SS is too young to be given up on but don't want to be the one who has to deal with it. i will be nice to him and help him with things if i need to but i'm not goint to volunteer to do it if he doesn't ask me. he is not all bad. he spent about half an hour sitting on me today and hugging my neck while i was watching a movie. that was nice. @mom of 4. dh does not really listen to me. i have tried to show him things i've learned at parenting courses and he always says okay he'll try it but if he does it's once and then that's it. i can't even get him to go to the dentist regularely nevermind a therapist. he has his own issues which is why i was handling everything with SS on my own as well as most of the other kids although he does have alot more patience and understanding for the other 2 younger kids....See MoreWhat do you do when you can't bare to be around your Step Son
Comments (9)@ justmetoo----His now 21 year old son assaulted me, not the one that lives with us now. His mother does feed him stories and has for years let them in on the finances and done everything in her power to cause trouble and discontent. To be honest, in my opinion, this all went off the rails with this particular child when WE bought him a car. After my husband and I did this he kept the ca for about 2 months and decided that he didn't want it anymore. I had a truck that we were not using so SS came to me and said he wanted to buy it because, a. he wanted a truck, b. it would teach him what it was like to have financial responsibility. I should have seen through that right there, because I don't know many kids that would say that. I was honestly against it because I saw nothing but trouble, but after all the hounding I got from my husband and SS, I gave in just to shut them up. I stipulated that there would be rules, the vehicle would not be his until he paid it in full, it could not be driven out of the local area further than 50 miles, and since it was in my name and under my insurance he was not to haul all his friends around and he had to let us know where he was going. Keep in mind at the time he was 16, so I don't think I was being to unreasonable. That was fine for about 2 months and suddenly he stopped paying (payments were $50/month), breaking curfew, rude, sassy, etc. He wants to put the vehicle under his mothers insurance, because she doesn't have to know where he goes. Then he decides he doesn't want this vehicle and he wants to sell it and buy something else. Now I have no way of knowing what my husband and his son discussed or concocted, and they are famous for making little deals and leaving me out of the loop. (That's another issue) So, I agreed to allow him to sell it with the stipulation that he only keep what was leftover from what he owed us because I just wanted to be rid of the situation.. Well you would have thought I was asking for his first born, because suddenly he doesn't understand why he has to pay for something that had been given to me in the first place and why did I not just give him the vehicle. So he sells it and when my husband does not turn over the full amount to him, he says, "Mom told me you would not give me what you owed me!" HAHA BINGO! So I told my husband, BM is obviously planting seeds in his head, which you can't reason with this woman she is a nut job, we have tried. He gets a new car with his mother and adds it to his insurance and in even more attitude, he came over one night to fight with my husband about this entire transaction. Do I know if my husband has lied to him? No, I do not, however that is no excuse to talk to your father that way. In my opinion, bottom line SS is mad because he did not get what he wanted from us. This is the same child that asked his Dad to change the custody agreement so that he could stay with us more because he did not like living at his mothers house because everyone fights there all the time, per him. My husband even gave him $400 to register his new car that he got with his BM with the understanding that he would pay it back because he is working. This was 6 months ago and the boy has yet to make any attempt to give us anything, in fact he told his Dad in the past few weeks, "I don't have any F*&^ing money, so why would I give you any? I'm not paying you back." NICE! My husband left his son OVER $300 for lunch, food, etc whilst he has been away, gives him money to eat when the SS is at work, school, to go out with his friends....but the boy has a job, he is already in college. I feel that we have done so much for him and all he does in expect more and disrespect more. He will walk right past me in my home and look right through me and not say a word. I feel that I have done more for him in the 5 years I have been married than his own mother does for him. Its just a mess and it makes me very sad because it was NOT always like this. We used to do things as a family, have dinner together, go on trips and now I can't stand the sight of him....See Moreceph
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