I don't participate on the forum anymore but when I saw this I had to say how much I appreciate you posting this. What a tribute to the power of love and unselfishness. Just get up each day....thank you Lynn. c

Thanks, C. I miss you a lot.

Ditto trailrunner, Lynn.

I'll add to the list: Just a smile and a simple hello can make someone's day.

Something I always try to do when I ask for someone's help, whether on the phone with a customer service rep or in person at a store, etc., I always make a point to say, "Thank you for taking the time to help me with this. I really appreciate it." It's not much, but I think it shows respect and appreciation. Many times in jobs where they don't get many thank yous.

I also make a point of always shaking hands when I meet someone, even a repair person and again when they leave. The guy pumping out our septic system last year was, at first, floored that I would extend me hand to him. I do it automatically, so I didn't even think anything of it. Hands are washable. As he left that afternoon, and I shook his hand again, he told me that no one had ever, ever shaken his hand on the job before and that it touched him very much. He actually thanked me for shaking his hand. I was stunned. It really is the little things.

What a lovely story, Lynn. What a lovely thread topic!

Trail, I also miss your posts.

I've thought of how often a kind word, even just in passing, has lifted my spirits. One day when I was feeling old and ugly, a coworker I rarely see walked by my office and quipped, "Hi, pretty lady!" I think I could've jumped up and kissed her right then and there. She just made my day. The following morning I sent her a short email and told her so. More and more, I see the value in not just recognizing the goodness in others, but speaking it. (Or writing it.)

It's become my mission to seek out as many good things as possible about my coworkers and either tell them directly what I observe and appreciate, or when appropriate I email their supervisor and tell them. This has been a very good project to take on. (A boon is having a pool of several thousand coworkers to notice, and this actually encourages me to engage more with others in all departments.) An added benefit is that it makes me feel good to brag on other people. It has a profound effect on me to know that words I've shared have lifted someone else's spirit.

It seems like such a small thing, but it appears to have a wide rippling effect. Like a stone thrown into a pond ... On and on those ripples travel.

She is so sweet!

Thanks Lynn. It truly shows how one person can really can make a difference.

Hi Trail! I also miss your posts. Hope all is well.

Just to show what a curmudgeon I am, my thoughts were:

1) "African children in need" - what about our own country or locale's children in need? There are plenty of them.

2) "something pretty to wear" - what's pretty to Western eyes may be totally different to what these "African children" might think is pretty

It's always a good thing to give generously of your time and talents. But the tone of this story struck me as patronizing and imperialistic.

Signed,

Sour Violet.

Miss you, C----hope everything is well and everyone is healthy and happy!

Making those outfits is a lovely thing for that woman to do for children she will never meet.

Violet, do something similar and then I will hear your complaint :-)

Yikes, Violet!

I hear what you're saying violet. But, there are many needy populations – some needier than others – some here in America – some abroad. It's a personal choice as to what charity to support . And if a person has a heart for specific population, they are more likely to continue with their volunteering.

The same could be said about someone who volunteers with animals – why bother with the animals when there is so many living human beings who need help?

I gRapple with a similar dilemma. A friend of mine volunteers daily at the local assisted-living. This assisted-living is a very wealthy home--all private pay and costs over $5000 a month.

I feel like her volunteering at a place that can many times over afford paid activity staff is a waste. As a nursing home Ombudsman, I see so many very needy facilities that would benefit so much from a daily volunteer. But it is not my choice, and her work is still valuable.

A similair issue came up with my Girl Scout troop. The girls had requested to visit a nursing home as their service project. Some of the moms were concerned that seeing elderly in compromised health would be upsetting to the girls. So we ended up deciding to visit that same assisted-living my friend volunteers at.

Once again it killed me that we were not visiting a more needy home. But in the end, the girls learned about the elderly, giving back, and had a positive experience.

I also don't want to be patronizing. I didn't want the girls to think of the residents as a charity project. They are people with so much to offer us. So we made sure to thank the residents for allowing us to visit and let them know that we hoped they would share some of their interests with us.

No One wants to be a charity project.

Exactly.

My dream is to be able to donate a large amount of money to women's shelters that also shelter children. I think of this all the time. It would be so great to be able to add real art rooms and modified gymnasiums . Children in these scenarios often fall through the cracks on getting help and ways to work out the confusion. I used to volunteer at my kids elementary school where the teachers often gave me the difficult to handle kids. I need to get on the stick and do something. Great post Lynn!

Love that story and the photo you posted Jen. I try to be conscious of doing good. When I get good service at a store, I make it a point to call the manager and tell them how much I appreciated the employees help. I've had many managers be very surprised by that. I also fill out the 'how are we doing' cards when I see them.

During the winter holidays I buy extra packets of cookies and give them random people who help-the guy who pumps my gas, the girl at Starbucks. I also buy $5 Starbucks gift cards and give them to the crossing guards on my route to work.

Also, we give our returnable bottles & cans (5 cents each) to a no-kill shelter.

And one thing I ALWAYS do is pick up trash when I see it lying on the ground. I hate litter and it doesn't kill me to pick up a discarded cup in a parking lot as I'm walking to the doors. There is always a garbage can by entrances. I see people look at me funny, but I hope maybe I'm inspiring them to do the same some time.

Thanks lynn, that was lovely to read. I do my best.

I wonder how many of those assisted living residents would still sew, if supplies were provided, and they were encouraged?

That group of children is just gorgeous!

Thanks, TR and Lynn!

If you knit or crochet and would like to put your leftover yarn to good use, consider making squares for Knit A Square. Perfect project for Assited Living residents.

:)

Thank you for sharing that site, maddielee! I'm bookmarking it, as this may be something I'd like to participate in.

In Violet's defense: my daughter volunteered in an orphanage in Cambodia. Much of our lovingly donated western wear was utterly rejected by orphans 4-12 years old who had absolutely nothing. They preferred wearing their old rags from their own cultures to the pretty new western things that were available from generous people. That included shoes, dresses, coats.

Donations of cold hard cash to buy rice are much more use useful.

Yes thanks, Maddielee. And thanks, Jen. Your post a few months ago is what inspired me to look into volunteering at a local nursing or retirement home. From 1990, when my oldest child started kindergarten through 2012 when DD graduated from high school, I was very involved with all sorts of volunteer work at their schools. Very involved! I've taken the past 3 1/2 years off from that since DD has been away at college out of state. A breather of sorts. I've done many small volunteer things , but nothing ongoing. It's time to get more involved in something again. I'm enjoying the ideas here, although knitting is not for me anymore since my 2 right hand surgeries and left broken hand in 2014 (LOL). Anyhoo, if nothing else, I'm glad that I shared Lillian's story. It has inspired me to look for a new way to do something for others. It makes me happy to hear that you all think so, too.

What a beautiful lady, love the photo TR posted of the girl's wearing their dresses too - so precious.

Very sweet. I'd love to meet her.

Nice to hear from you trailrunner.

Two thoughts:

The neighbor kid spent a year in Africa and said all those well-meaning church donations, of shoeboxes full of whatever, are a logistical nightmare to distribute and are full of mostly junk that isn't meeting the needs of the people.

The world is a bottomless pit of need. All we can do is find something that speaks to us about alleviating some need, but it's mostly alleviating our guilt about our good fortune. Ideally, it's about finding the sweet spot of personal satisfaction while truly meeting someone else's needs, whether those needs are local or global.

What a beautiful story and what a great way for someone, at age 100, to contribute to a worthy cause and do something kind and useful every day. Wish I could say the same. I think stories like this do, or should, make us more mindful of how we can make a difference, even in small ways.

Great to hear from you C. Hope things are going well down in your end of our state. I was thinking of you recently during the running of Mtn Mist! I didn't run it but was volunteering. It was postposed a day due to snow and ice on the mountain. Brutal conditions still, especially at the start.

I think this woman's dedication to her cause is very commendable, as are the many people who volunteer and do good deeds.

I studied anthropology, so I'm alert to cultural misappropriation issues, I debated commenting, because you were all, "oh, so sweet" -- and it is. But by now you should know me well enough to know I'm never afraid to voice an unpopular opinion.

Also, I've never been able to keep my mouth shut. You'd think I'd learn . . .

Violet, if you think this is cultural misappropriation i hope you are never in need and expect someone exactly like you to come to your aid.

Some people misguidedly wear their unpopular opinons as a badge of honor.

I just read about a neat organization the other day that provides hand made sanitary products to girls in need. When they don't have the necessary supplies, they miss school. I'm going to try to make some of the kits. Days for Girls

Donating pet supplies to food panties (or Meals on Wheels), mentioned above, is something I do on a regular basis. The need for pet food is just incredible, as so many people who go to food pantries also have pets. Many times, people will feed their pets human food, and go without themselves, or the pet just doesn't eat. I have a deal with a local grocery warehouse; when they have saved up 700 or 800 pounds of damaged food they can't sell in their stores, they call me. I pay a small amount of money for the food and then distribute it to various pantries. Before this deal, all the food went into the landfill. It pains me to think how much perfectly good pet food all over the country ends up in the trash in this manner.

Yes, thank you, Jen, for taking the time to find and post that photo. It's wonderful!

We have close friends who travel to rural South America with their church group several times a year to bring good used wheel chairs and medical supplies and to fix medical equipment in need while they're there. They tell me that they're always warmly welcomed and that what they do serves a great need.

Another group, including my husband's now-retired partner, travel to Africa several times a year to give free medical treatment, surgeries, medicine and supplies to needy people in rural areas there. They also tell us how much their help is welcomed and appreciated. Another group does the same in inner cities here. A family we know started an orphanage and school in India, which has now branched out and includes a training/work center for the nearby women to learn how to make and market beautiful handmade items. My daughter and I both have lovely scarves from them. Members of their home church in Minnesota travel there to help out throughout the year, as well as raising money for their support all year long.

Violet, while I don't agree with your opinion on this, I totally agree that everyone has the right to their own opinion, and I respect yours. Although it was a bit harsh (LOL), you haven't been mean or unkind. You've just stated how you feel on the subject and that's perfectly fine with me. I'm not looking for an argument with this thread. Just ideas, and maybe a few smiles.

It's my own personal belief that why some people feel compelled to help out in other countries and others here at home is just that they have felt a personal call to do what they do. That it's God urging us in one needed direction or another. Whatever any one person does to help out another is, in my opinion, a beautiful thing. It's not for me to judge if it's the right person or the right place.

i think it's special that lillian is doing what she can and what interests her to help others... i would think/hope that the missionaries or whoever distributes her dresses have found people who happily accept and wear her generous donations!

The thing is... These kind deeds make us, the deed-doers, feel good, without necessarily helping the recipients. Giving much needed free medical care is good and helpful. Giving pretty, western-style dresses to little girls, dresses that don't fit their culture or idea of clothing, maybe not so much.

After that pretty picture above was staged as a lovely thank you, I would not be surprised to learn that those dresses were put to other uses. That's what happens. It saddened by daughter to see that happen, time and time again. They need food, water, medical care, sanitary products, education, not clothing we like but the kids have little use for.

i totally get that... but, not everyone is inclined to donate $ ... or maybe she does that too and wants to also do this!

much volunteer work has to do with what we enjoy doing and what interests us! at 100, lillian is probably limited in what she can do! even if the clothes are sold somewhere else, she's still helping out!

In all the photos I've seen that my friends have taken while vacationing there or volunteering there, every kid was wearing what seems to be the universal kid's outfit these days, shorts and a tee shirt or girls in a sundress of some sort. Our good friends just got back recently from 2 weeks on a photo-type safari vaca and their (many) pics show kids in very isolated rural villages wearing nothing but that.

I volunteered with a pastor's wife. They were adopting a child from Ethiopia, and as a community, we wanted to help. The orphanage asked for vitamins. Easy to transport and a little goes a long way per child.

It's best to know the actual needs of a community.

The lady is 100 years old and she's doing something nice for someone else on her own. She obviously gets some joy and a sense of purpose from doing what she's doing ... so what if it doesn't save the world.

I agree with most of the posts I have read. Even the seemingly contradictory ones.

I believe that all of us, wherever we are and however we can, have a responsibility to help others. Like anything, there are better and worse ways to do that, but that does not make any well-intentioned effort wrong or useless.

A lot of people don't think through the logic of how to help. My kids preschool had a canned goods fundraiser after Katrina, and then needed to raise $1500 to rent a trailer to get it there. A church I once attended did a clothing drive for their shelter and got prom dresses. I recall scores of coats that had to be received, transported and warehoused when misguided donors sent winter coats after the Tsunami hit. My one kid's school does a turkey drive, and those turkeys go to immigrants who don't particularly like turkey, don't have a roasting pan, and may only have a hotplate. Christmas toy drives have lots of toys for "desireable" little girls, and almost nothing for teen boys.At the schools we support in Cambodia, they used to have tourist groups drive up in buses and throw candy out the window; to kids with no dental care.

And yes, white westerners have committed a heck of a lot of sins under the guise (or genuine ignorance) of helping the less fortunate and less "enlightened".

It does serve us all well to think very carefully about economically efficient and culturally sensitive ways of giving back. Usually, TBH, that means giving your money to a locally run organization that is "of the people" and that runs with low overhead. "Foreigners" (whether literally foreign or just from a totally different demo) swooping in with grand gestures tends to reinforce dependence and can be counterproductive.

All that said, who is to say what is a worthy cause and what is not? Only you can answer that for yourself. I sometimes try to weigh the moral math in my head ... curing childhood cancers ... educating Rwandan orphans ... feeding elderly ... preserving the environment. I end up just supporting a lot of causes because I don't know of a mathematical answer.

Back to the sweet little lady. I have literally been around the world, and I am struck by how ubiquitous Western clothing is. It has not been my experience at all that it is rejected. Might something else serve better? I think it would amazing if she could make dresses in colors and styles that might be more indigenous; she might think that is fun too. But I personally believe that what she is doing is still a wonderful thing. I remember one NGO worker saying that just knowing that someone across the world, a total stranger, did something for you, is a very special feeling. A validation.

I've enjoyed reading these posts. One of my best friends helped start a local charity called Bundles of Hope. While I haven't had much time to donate (helping to bundle), I've donated a lot of diapers. They work along side food banks so that the diapers are easily accessible by those in need.

I was reading the NYTimes (I believe) article yesterday about rocking/holding babies. I would love to do that several days a month. But as I got into the article, it ended up being more like foster care with 24/7 care and home visits for approval. I need to contact local hospitals to see about volunteering.

It's a lovely story and I applaud her! At one hundred years old she is doing more to make the world a better place than most people ever will.

A group from our church go to Romania every year. It isn't just unskilled people who go. There are doctors, dentists, and other health care providers who go. As a church group we donate OTC meds, hats, mittens, scarves, socks, shoes boots, coats. It is always iffy as to wether the border agents will unload and confiscate all the goods but so far they have been blessed and crossed into Romania with no issues. All the extra baggage is also an issue. some years the airlines are a huge help and sometimes not. It's hit or miss. The villages that they visit are so poor that most don't have winter wear and the only health care they ever see comes from this group. They do a huge amount of good and I have never seen a holier than thou, poor you, rich pitying me attitude. On the contrary they return feeling that they have been blessed by the people that they serve.

Fortunately there is a group that lives in Romania and we can send money there to help with goods that can be purchased locally. This group volunteers every weekend to help the needy communities.

The poor will always be with us but, imo, it is our duty to give what we can. We will never solve the issues on this earth but it certainly doesn't give us an excuse to not help and to be joyful in our giving.