In a perfect world, everyone would do their job properly and people would live up to their promises. In reality, when I make any arrangement with a stranger I assume that something is going to get screwed up. Then I am pleasantly surprised when things go well.

I try my best to keep promises. And if I have to let someone down I am upfront and apologetic. It is shocking how many people don't think the same way. I decided a while back that it was easier to expect the worse and be pleasantly surprised when things work out.

Edited to add: I have learned to trust the internal warning dings that go off when I am dealing with someone and things aren't adding up. I'll bet when you think about when you made your purchases that some of the details weren't completely clear.

Thank You.

That reaffirms what I thought. I don't like being made to feel guilty because I expect the service I paid for.

Like today, I said "please send the tracking number this afternoon" and I was basically told "well, OK, I guess (grudging), but you have to understand I'm sick."

Well, I do understand and I'm sorry- but you also have a lot of my money and I have no item yet...

LOL, deee_gw, I plan for failure in basic interactions with people too... and I'm rarely disappointed. It seems like customer service across the board is getting worse, with a few minor exceptions...

I have had a couple of incidents in the past, which negatively affect any empathy I might have for a business' excuse for not meeting their obligations. One was a large furniture order, in which they called me twice to tell me to select other items because the ones I picked were discontinued; one of the items ultimately delivered was a floor sample (you could see the shadow of the price placard on the front). Other items in the order took 5 months! I later found out they were having financial problems, and were using current customers' deposits to fund past customers unfilled orders. As far as medical excuses, the ones I've received were just that: excuses. It's a business transaction, not therapy.

I feel better now. This has been mildly bothering me all day so it is good to see I'm not the only one who feels that requests for sympathy at the expense of service don't really have a place in transactions like this...

I think the appropriate response for a business is if there is a serious situation that will impact their service, they should proactively contact a customer and note that difficulties are arising and ask the customer how they would wish to proceed. They need not go into details of what the difficulty is, just give the customer the option.

This tends to be my biggest gripe with some small businesses, many just do not understand that just because some people are inclined to buy local or shop at small businesses, they can still choose to take their money elsewhere. Even small businesses still have to be run well.

Yes, Tishtosh.

I really try to patronize small businesses, but some of them are flailing not because they are small, but because they do not "get it". One thing I often note is they like to work short hours, and sometimes irregular hours. Fine, but if the nationwide chain is open twice as many hours, you are going to lose some business.

I bought something from a smallish vendor the other day, on line, and I could not get the online order to work. I called them and they told me that the "add to cart" "feature" wasn't working properly but the tech people were already gone for the day. I'm like "add to cart" is not a "feature", it is the only way someone can buy from you! There was no sense of urgency about it.

I've encountered problems like that repeatedly too! Not necessarily w/ tech people, but with people who do all sorts of essential functions. I once called and tried to pay a very expensive bill for some landscaping services and I was told "the person who knows how to do that is on vacation until next week."

REALLY? You only have one person who knows how to collect money for your business and they go away and you just collect no payments while they are gone. Better hope that person doesn't die, or you'll be out of business.

Or "the person who knows how to schedule appointments is gone for the day." OK? You just have that one person!??!

I really hate chains (except Whole Foods and Trader Joes) and try to never ever patronize them, but it becomes harder and harder not to when you encounter situations like these.

It all sounds very "small town" and I can imagine a time when shopping on main street one might have run into issues as described. Back then family would rally and get the work completed. Either you accept the challenges of small businesses or you shop else where. They kind of come together. As far as paying for things before you get them--bad idea. Never pay in full and use a credit card. That way you always have a way of getting your money back

Either you accept the challenges of small businesses or you shop else where.

I would hope the challenges don't include poor customer service and an inability to do basic functions of the business, though! Companies of every size, whether it is 1 person or 100, should be able to do the things they are in business to do!

I've done business with some wonderful small companies. I've also had very bad experiences with big chain stores as well. It's a problem of ineptitude, and terrible customer service skills at every level.

I do pay with a credit card, always. I could dispute charges w/ Amex, but I want(ed) my items!

I think you kind of must pay in full to buy most things online (obviously, I don't pay in full for custom spec work until it is done... but these were both off-the-rack purchases with no option to make deposit and then pay).

@beaglesdoitbetter - Thanks for posting this. Thought it was just me!

I always use a credit card and agree, Amex is the best if any problem arises. I always call in advance to see if something is in stock before I order anything big. Furniture is notorious.

Earlier this year I bought towels from a highly regarded site. It's the worst customer service I've encountered. Expensive slow shipping, screwed up orders, defective products. I was told one order was a box of towels that had been on a train and the train caught fire. Then I was told towels came in but there were delays because the quality wasn't good. I bought things in June that didn't come until the end of August -- no notification.

When I called to ask why someone hadn't called or emailed, I was told I was "on a list" to be called.

I complained (nicely) and the head of customer service contacted me, expressing surprise at my problems. On top of everything else, things I hadn't ordered had been sent. I explained the issues and, at the end of our conversation, she told me that she was going off on vacation and could I contact her assistant and tell her what I was keeping! I am planning to write to the president of the company.

The whole apology thing is an issue. It's the first thing they do. Once is fine. But sometimes they keep repeating it. Multiple are unnecessary IMO and they become excuses -- sort of like 'I apologized so now what do you want.' On occasion I've asked them to please stop apologizing.

I don't know how this happened but jobs seem chopped up now. One person does a single piece in a long chain. Perhaps it's because it's easier to find someone who can do one thing than someone who can handle a series of more complex tasks and make a decision. I find it very odd. Less training I suppose.

I like to shop small, support local and buy US made goods. But sometimes it's tough. So I've really started to appreciate the great sellers out there who do a quick, excellent job whether you buy one thing or a dozen.

You should not have been charged until they had the item and it was being shipped to you.

For starters.

I think that regardless of the company's size, once payment has been accepted for a product, they are accepting the responsibility of delivering that product within a reasonable amount of time. In the case of a small privately owned business, they should have back up plans in place for emergencies and their private lives should not cause a burden to their customers.

In the case of where you're waiting for over a year to get the rest of your purchase, I'd be very concerned. Do you even have proof that they've ordered your purchase from the manufacturers? That's a lot of money and it makes me wonder if something unethical isn't taking place; especially where a smaller business is concerned. Often times, they don't have the cash flow they need to run day to day and that's why they charge for the purchase at the time of sale. If a primary of the business took ill, could the business be failing as a result? Or are they just using the illness as an excuse to string you along, who knows if it's even true? If it was true, wouldn't they have been more responsive and upfront about it? If it were me, I think at this point I think I'd bow out by telling them to put their expectations of empathy where the sun doesn't shine, produce your purchase now or you'll be contacting your credit card company to dispute the charges.

I really hope you're able to find resolve in a way that benefits you.

I think you are spot on for being annoyed and concerned that someone is holding your money hostage and not delivering. A business transaction such as you describe should not be an emotional event. You are right to feel annoyed and concerned and for the business to make you feel guilty or otherwise is just wrong.

Regarding chains, sometimes they are good and other times not so good, same with local small business. Our regional grocer, Publix, is excellent IMO. Don't have a TJ's, and Whole Paycheck, er Foods, just opened and has been mobbed, so I haven't been there yet.

I've been fighting a local appliance repair company and the provider of an extended warranty for my 2-year-old range hood. Turns out where I was blaming the local company for not getting the parts in a timely manner, they are also at the mercy of the extended warranty provider. After a discussion with the repair guy (who has really been great) last night (3rd repair in 3 years and this fix didn't fix it), I told him the only way I can get a replacement unit is for their company to declare it 'unrepairable'. He said it was no skin off their back, so he'll do it. Imagine that? I've been fighting with this for 4 months, and the extended warranty people have been so uncooperative. Now I have repair guys testimonial!

I think too you have good reason to be annoyed.

I have finally resolved my issues too with a small business. I ordered shutters for the entire house in September, put down a third deposit. Told it would be 2 weeks, I finally get them all installed yesterday, almost 3 months to the day, after repeated calls and promises. Price was great (much lower than a couple of other quotes), product is great, service not so much, so I guess 2 out of 3 isnt bad.

I did finally get my order from the company w/ the $6000 furniture purchase- but it took over a year and the guy was so aggrieved at me for demanding they deliver it right away (he kept saying "my father is dying, I can't deal with you right now and you are terrible for not understanding that." Um, seriously, I'm sorry but if you'd delivered my order a year ago, we wouldn't be in this position!

It's the other order I'm still waiting for... it has only been 1.5 weeks delay on that one, but it was just the fact this happened again to me (this time, being made to feel guilty b/c the proprietor had a bypass surgery).

RoseAbbey, I always heard this express: Fast, cheap, and good... you can only ever pick 2.

In these cases, though, I don't think I got even two (neither fast nor cheap, LOL!)

beagle, never heard that expression but I guess I was lucky and got cheap and good..lol.

I'll support the smaller businesses as long as they continue to give good service. In Ca, you can forget about customer service for the most part, and the more expensive the store, the worse the service seemed to be. I've only had one bad experience in Austin, and it was with Arhaus. There are many, many nice smaller retailers(especially in small neighboring towns)I very rarely shop in Austin proper. Very unique items also. I first check out consignment and antique stores, as well as estate sales and auctions, before buying new. FYI, *not* upholstered pieces.

I don't think I would ever go on line and spend *thousands* on furniture. Scares the bjesus out of me just thinking about it, just my 2 cents.

whew, I am so glad to read that you eventually got your items. I don't think it's your job to be understanding when they have your money. Especially when you had been so patient! wow, they should have been saying THANK YOU!

Beagles, did they tell you upfront that the furniture order would take over a year? Last year I waited 10 months for a custom hand knotted carpet, but the timeline was clearly known at the time we placed the order. Anything else is not acceptable, specially when they take 100% of the money with the order.

Absolutely they did not. It was supposed to ship in 2-3 DAYS.

It was outdoor furniture (not a custom order- only custom cushions). They immediately shipped the couch and the table (which was broken, w/ glass that didn't fit on top).

Then, my love seat and swing didn't come (which was a major problem b/c the whole set was supposed to match AND because my contractors were building my screen porch and needed the swing to place the support beams!) I got the set b/c I wanted a stationary couch, a gliding love seat, and a swing with all the same finish and cushions, which very few people offered).

So, basically, I had the large couch (which would have had to be somehow sent back if I cancelled the order!) but none of the other pieces of furniture. After several weeks and a lot of back and forth in which they tried to get me to accept mismatched pieces, the truth came out that they'd run out and were waiting on a new shipment which was going to take 6-9 months.

so, they sent me a loaner love seat and a loaner swing which didn't match (green instead of brown!) and were supposed to contact me in 6-9 months. Which, they did not.

I called the main number 3 or 4 times and left messages and got no call back. Finally, I went back to my phone records, found the cell phone number of the owner who had made me the promise that if I just kept the couch I'd have my furniture in nine months, and contacted him directly. That's when I got the "my dad is dying, you are horrible" spiel. For several weeks, as we went back and forth on when my furniture would actually be delivered.

He got it from the manufacturer finally but then was really mad I wanted it delivered right away!

How do you even know that the man's father was actually sick and dying? Not that it matters but imo the repeated excuses over a 12 month period make it less likely......just saying.

I don't know he was sick, very good point.

That's another reason I find it odd that these sellers expected me to be OK w/ the poor service and were aggrieved I wasn't more understanding of their problems... how do I even know if the problems are true?