CFM - being given bad advice ?
Matthew Rieger
8 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (17)
MizLizzie
8 years agobeachem
8 years agoRelated Discussions
I'm being threatened with legal action for a bad google review
Comments (33)Hi all, Thanks for the replies. In answer to some of the points raised: I have no interest in trying to get any money back. I'm really just concerned about this threat of his. In principle, (and I'm a pretty highly principled person), I want to exercise my right to post a truthful review. The review that is up now is the replacement of my original post. I tried to keep it simple, and to reflect that this is "my opinion" because the legal implications for defamation seem to hinge on this. It's okay to present information as your opinion, but not as fact. Presenting facts is where you can get into trouble because the truthfulness of those can be debated in court. So it's okay to say, "This was the worst book I've ever read." But it isn't okay to say, "This author stole whole passages from another author," unless you want to defend that statement in court. I live in Texas and the state IS suffering from a drought. Many lakes are very affected, some not at all, which is why I had an extensive phone conversation with him prior to making arrangements. He assured me the lake level was fantastic and we wouldn't have any issues (I guess the fact that the boat dock stood on dry land escaped his memory). One of our favorite lakes, LBJ, is dam controlled so that hasn't been affected by the drought. Another beautiful lake, Lake Travis, is at least 70 FEET below normal, and means many lakefront homes are no longer lakefront, but there are many public boat docks where you can easily launch a boat --which in fact is what we did when we left this guy's place early to salvage our 4th of July holiday. The property owner HAS seen the new review, and still wants me to remove it. I haven't bothered to respond to his last email, and don't intend to. Thanks for pointing out this man's bullying behavior. Somehow that hadn't registered with me, but as soon as I read it here it resonated. I'm going to just sit tight right now and relax a bit. I truly don't want to have to spend money defending this, but I'm leaving the review up. Thanks to forboystoo for finding my original post, which I'll keep in my file just in case. Thank you to everyone for chiming in and sharing pertinent info. I'll keep you all posted!...See MoreAdvice on how to repair bad neighbor reputation?
Comments (59)This thread has been very, very interesting to read and although I like to think of myself as a pretty understanding person, hopefully it will remind me that often, circumstances impact how other people behave in ways that won't necessarily be obvious to us. We moved to a new home about a month ago, and noticed that our across-the-road neighbors had quite a bit of random yard furniture and building supplies stuffed into their front porch. It does look rather messy, although it doesn't bother me much (our neighborhood tends to be pretty casual). It was only about a week later that I realized these neighbors were having a new garage built, and had torn down their old garage. Now, I'm sure that's where the front porch items came from and I bet they'll make their way back to the new garage once it is complete. Had I judged my neighbors harshly based on first impressions, I would have not only been unfair to those neighbors but also would have denied myself a potentially good neighborhood relationship. One thing that I do think is interesting is that some people in this thread have mentioned not wanting to form closer relationships with neighbors specifically because they don't want to be held to higher standards of behavior or maintenance (as opposed to simply wanting more privacy, etc.). I'm sure that there are plenty of examples where this is the case, and neighbors will bully their "friends" into conforming with how THEY believe the neighborhood should look and behave. But, I think that more often than not, it's the other way around, and people will be more understanding of individual circumstances when they better know the people involved. My office actually had a workshop-type meeting at work this week led by a professional workplace consultant (not sure of her official title), with the intent to "improve office civility" that touched on this very point. The consultant brought up the example of what happens when someone cuts us off in traffic. Our first reaction, usually, is "What a jerk! That moron doesn't know how to drive." But if we then notice that it's actually a friend of ours, or something that we know and think well of, then we might decide that "There must be something wrong; perhaps he or she is late to something really important, or there's some emergency, or he or she simply made a mistake" or something along those lines. In other words, if we don't know a person, we are more likely to attribute poor behavior to the person him or herself. But if we do know a person, we're more likely to attribute poor behavior to an accident, emergency, or mistake. Of course, that's not the case in many situations, but perhaps it's worth thinking about. If I were in OP's position, I probably would put some effort into rebuilding relationships with my neighbors on a one house at a time basis (although I certainly wouldn't kill myself trying to make nice). But that's just because I enjoy my home more, and feel more comfortable in it (and especially spending time in the yard and garden), when I feel like I have a good relationship with the surrounding families. OP is certainly under no obligation to do so, however--this type of thing is so individual....See MoreMy dear friend is being abused by her demented Mom - advice?
Comments (21)I was fortunate in that my Mom did not show signs of violent behavior. The wandering was bad enough while she was still able to walk. I think your friend needs to rethink taking care of her Mom. If she finds it hard now, it is only going to get worse. Much worse! As you know I was the sole caregiver to my sweet Mom for over 10 years and I would never ever put myself in that role again and my Mom was a dear gentle patient. Your friend's life will change forever if she takes this challenge on. You become an appendage of the person you are caring for because as the dementia progresses you have to do everything for that person. My Aunt was the violent type, my sweet gentle religious Aunt turned into a rabid animal locked in a cage. Swearing, hurting my Uncle, telling lies that almost put my Uncle in jail. My Aunt paced, back and forth. She wouldn't sit to eat, sleep. She walked and walked and ranted. She would get out of the house and walk into a neighbours house and act like it was her home and not theirs. Even after my Uncle put her in a nursing home she never found peace until she died. That is what Alzheimer's did to her. As someone above said, get the Alzheimer Society involved. They will send out a case worker but first your friend's Mom needs to be assessed by a Doctor. There could be something else that is causing her violent dementia. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't hesitate to put my Mom into care and as I said I had it easy until my Mom got cancer and I had to give her insulin shots but taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer's will suck the life blood out of you. 8 years since my Mom passed away and I am still trying to find out who I am and to put my care taking in the past and not let it define me anymore. I must say though after the first couple of years of taking care of my Mom I became a better person and had to let go of the anger I was feeling at having to give up my life as I knew it, my savings, dating life, getting married, having kids because I chose to do this. I learned to be happy because I knew if I wasn't happy I would be in H'll on Earth. Alzheimer's in a terrible disease, much more terrible for the person that is doing the care giving than the one who suffers from it. I hope your friend gets some help for herself and her Mom sooner than later. Anne...See MoreGot screwed by bad lawn advice so I joined Houzz - any good advice?
Comments (16)@joe - that was a fun thread to read, thanks for sharing. JC in that thread chose to start this healing process in mid-July but I didn't find the reason of his timing. Given the condition of the grass (mostly like the first pic in thread), and where I am (east coast, Toronto), with weather right now being around 40F at night and 70F during the day, with showers throughout the week, which month should I be starting the same process JC took? @mishmosh - ok cool this makes me at ease, I have the core aeration and fertilizers scheduled within the next 4 weeks @shivece - just signed up to a lawn service, surprisingly not nearly as expensive as I thought given other type of contractors cost thousands even for small jobs in GTA. The challenge now is coordinating my own efforts with the lawn service because I found out that even the best lawn services in our area does things in batch, not tailored towards specific houses. They schedule things based on optimal business operations. @charpell - makes sense, what's interesting is that no one in the neighborhood seem to water their lawn where I live, I never saw a sprinkler or manual watering, just cutting and fertilizers. Last year was the first time we were in the house so I thought it was just me not knowing what people normally do around here to keep the lawn healthy but this year I observed enough to see I was the oddball for sure...See Morehvtech42
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoFori
8 years agoAliceinjersey
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agooldbat2be
8 years agoJoseph Corlett, LLC
8 years agodocsknotinn2day
8 years agogreasetrap
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agogreasetrap
8 years agocawaps
8 years agoMatthew Rieger
8 years agoAvatarWalt
8 years agoMatthew Rieger
8 years agoRuss Barnard
8 years agoStarCraft Custom Builders
8 years ago
Related Stories
DECORATING GUIDES10 Design Tips Learned From the Worst Advice Ever
If these Houzzers’ tales don’t bolster the courage of your design convictions, nothing will
Full StoryLIFEThe Polite House: Do I Have to Display Decor Given to Me as a Gift?
Etiquette columnist Lizzie Post tackles the challenge of accepting and displaying home decor gifts from frequent visitors
Full StoryLIFEGet the Family to Pitch In: A Mom’s Advice on Chores
Foster teamwork and a sense of ownership about housekeeping to lighten your load and even boost togetherness
Full StoryKITCHEN DESIGNSmart Investments in Kitchen Cabinetry — a Realtor's Advice
Get expert info on what cabinet features are worth the money, for both you and potential buyers of your home
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDESWhy Marble Might Be Wrong for Your Bathroom
You love its beauty and instant high-quality appeal, but bathroom marble has its drawbacks. Here's what to know before you buy
Full StoryLIFE6 Tips for Teaching Your Kids to Be Good Neighbors
Everyone wins when your children learn to respect boundaries, get help when they need it and show others they care
Full StoryLIFECould You Be a Landlord?
Sure, the extra income would be great. But jumping blindly into owning a rental property could be disastrous. Here's what you need to know
Full StoryGARDENING GUIDESCommon Myths That May Be Hurting Your Garden
Discover the truth about fertilizer, soil, staking and more to keep your plants healthy and happy
Full StorySIMPLE PLEASURESThe Art of Being Neighborly
Learn the heartfelt gestures that go a long way toward creating a welcoming community
Full StoryMOST POPULARHow High Should You Mount Your TV?
Today we look at an important question to consider when locating your television: How high should you set it?
Full Story
hvtech42