I was just thinking about this same situation with my own two kids this morning . . . and yesterday . . . and the day before, etc. It's Sunday and I'm hoping our son calls today to chat for a bit. He's now 29 and DD is 19. DH & I gave both our kids wonderful, happy, fun, loving childhoods. We never favored one over the other. One son; one daughter . . . one of each! Firstborn and Last-born. Both very much loved and wanted. Both smart. Neither got into any trouble at school or home. Just normal, happy times. DS went off to his college of choice at the University of Oklahoma and stayed on to get his Masters. Went into the Army directly after for 3 years. Right afterwards, he took a job as a civilian contractor for the Army in Arizona. His girlfriend lives with him now. We know her and like her a lot. She likes us, too. We don't call and pester him/them. Never whine or complain. Try never to give unasked for advice. (Sigh), but it breaks my heart that he can go for weeks without calling us. I came from a very close family of nine kids. We're still all very close and we call our parents at least once a week to chat and each other frequently, as well. We even spend our big Summer vacations together at the lake every year. I guess, I always just expected that our kids would stay close and close by. I know DS loves us, but gosh, do we miss him! With DD, we hear from her just about every day. She's a sophomore at the University of Oklahoma (her college of choice, as well). We get along wonderfully with her and laugh a lot when we talk. In retrospect, I am so glad we have a daughter, as I would be heartbroken with just one son who called home only sporadically. Sadly, most daughters and sons do seem to be different, as adults. I envy and am so happy for any of you who have close relationships with your sons. I hope someday mine with DS will change for the better, as well. Lynn

Maria, Gardenweb does seem to be having some issues of its own this week. I responded on the other thread. Ginny

I am in the same situation. It’s New Years Day and I am lying here depressed. My adult son came to temporarily live with me and my new husband of 2 years about 7 months ago. He asked and my husband said yes. My husband decided not to charge him rent or anything, even told him he can eat what we eat, wash clothes, basically our home is his home. We have a written agreement which we all signed. My son takes out the garbage and cuts grass, clean his room & bathroom. He’s making plans to move back out as agreed. He has savings. Is my son perfect? No, but he is not disrespectful. Other than not walking around the house naked, nothing else has changed in our marital relationship. My husband took it upon himself to step in as a father to my son and even asked my son if that was ok. His biological father…didnt do his job and has no real relationship with him. My husband and son get along fine. However i know my husband is faking it. If my son makes one mistake or forget something, my husband is very critical and judgemental. He complains to me telling lies about my son and says hateful things about my son. i love my husband but this is unacceptable to me. i am beyond hurt and angry. My son doesnt even know how my husband really feels. What brought to this post…my husband thought my son had left and left the door unlocked at 2am. My son was actually outside. Anyway all i literally said was to tell him and immediately he accused me of coming to my son’s defense and starts going off. I am confused. If someone does something wrong or forgot something, isnt the natural thing to do is tell them? What did I say wrong? There is so much more I could say to paint the picture of everything that has gone on. I dont want a divorce but this is too crazy!

I'd never heard of the Question Mark butterfly until earlier this week when a caterpillar fell on me as I was murdering Japanese beetles. I looked it up, and yes, it was a Question Mark caterpillar--they look evil, but don't appear to sting. I recently found a Silverspot caterpillar on a tangle of wisteria vines--had to look up that one, too. I was out last evening (after those d@mned beetles again), and found an adult skipper on the same wisteria--I don't know if it had just emerged from a cocoon, but it walked onto my fingers and rode there as I walked to the house to show my GS. Now I'll be watching for Bob's numbered butterflies.