My elderly neighbor told me that, once the ladies in her card group were all widows, they took an anonymous poll by written ballot. The question was: Do you miss sex? Out of 10 ladies, only 1 of the 10 missed the act and 1 missed the "sense of closeness". The other 8 expressed relief at never having to "do it" again.

A good friend of mine recently said that one of the up sides to her husband's chronic (but not life threatening) illness is his impotence. Another friend said that she was so very glad when her husband's medication caused his sex drive to plummet.

There are letters upon letters in advice columns from older and elderly people lamenting this issue one way or the other. The thing is that neither partner can make a unilateral decision to change the sexual pattern in the relationship without there being some fall-out.

So, you'll have to decide what's worse: the 5 times a week or the pouting if he doesn't get sex 5 times. Then, seek some kind of compromise that better serves your needs and toughen your hide to deal with his pouting and resistance to change. Maybe 2 times a week plus 1 time where you'll manually "help him" without having to do the full act would be acceptable? Minimally, you should seek a schedule so that you know which nights you'll get to enjoy going to sleep without him bothering you to satisfy his urges.

Five times a week sounds like a medical problem to me (& I can sure see how it would get to be a real chore!)...or maybe he's taking a little blue pill without sharing that information with you.

I agree, he's definitely taking a pill and maybe more often than he's supposed to. This problem for women seems to be common because of that little blue pill. Guys in their 50's and 60's and older are taking them and acting like they have the sex drive of a 20 year old when in fact it's all about the medication. He's being very selfish about this. I think you should tell him what you're comfortable with and go from there. It's supposed to be about two people, not just one getting his jollies. And when he starts pouting, confront him about the pill he's taking.

' It's supposed to be about two people, not just one getting his jollies.'

yep.

I don't think he is necessarily on Viagra.

I know for a fact that he is not taking Viagra. He's always been a handful.

Well, (should I write this?) when menopause hit me, I began to see how difficult it must be for men. How do they maintain control?

Is it possible to sometimes say to him, "Okay, see how quick you can be. I'll time you."

Just a thought.

maybe he thinks you're hot....

"Is it possible to sometimes say to him, "Okay, see how quick you can be. I'll time you."

LOL!

Sounds like a good idea to me..

Old thread but...it sounds as though he's figured out that pouting gets him his way. Like a two-year-old having a temper tantrum to get what he wants. I say change the results; let him pout.

mizscarlett, I've been thinking... what is it about golf that keeps him under control on those two days?

LOL, he gets up at the crack of dawn to go play, so he has to go to sleep early and I get a break. I wouldn't mind if he became a polygamist or even got a girlfriend on the side,,.anything!

I'm sorry to see your post as it indicates 6+ months have passed with no changes. Did you attempt to compromise with him? If so and he pouted, I guess you just gave in?

When someone is bullied into "giving in" sexually (or cooking a full-course meal after working all day, or ironing somebody else's shirts), that isn't a partnership; it's one person making use of another.

I can't imagine it being a chore......

Neither could I, when I was younger. That candle has kind of burned out. It's like working in a bakery, seeing nothing but cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes all day. Soon you don't want to see another cupcake.

Hand him Vaseline and a laptop with a high-speed internet connection three of the two nights.

You said you don't mind if he gets a girlfriend on the side...tell him so. It could be the perfect solution for your situation!

Okay...I am now taking applications.

STDs are prevalent in the retired generations, so I would go with the Vaseline and high speed internet connection.

My friend works at a nursing home and dear God she said that into their 70s 80s and beyond they are still looking for it. God help us all! Lol

Oh, Good Lord, NO!!

Since my original post, he has showed a few slight signs of slowing down...a teensy bit. Thank goodness he can't take Viagra. What genius invented that, anyway?

Interesting to see how intercourse is almost universally such a fuss 'n bother for the distaff side. (Unless, of course, the right stiff staff happens by.)

Hurry up Japan with the sex robots!

Amen ^.

thats sad, well yall are definitely not on the same page sexually. does he use porn? maybe he can do that and limit sex to 2 times a week or something. also, do you have any fantasies or kinks? if he has so much energy to have sex all the time, he can use that energy to be in charge of leading some kink or bondage scenes which could make things fun for you. there might be a reason that you are not feeling in the mood anymore. how old are you? is there any stress in your life? are you on birth control or medications? things like that.