Om my God Jojo!!!! Look at the picture someone posted in Tuscon! Ice fron their fountain? You poor thing! Look at all that work you do to take care of your babies. I am so thrilled to see that and actually quite impressed. Look like you have it all to a science. I think you need too since something is bound to bet neglected if you stop for just one minute..lol I have seen your crafts, birds, kids, plants, dogs, and yes the gritty mix, and I must say..HATS OFF TO YOU!!! What would all those people and things do without you, just exactly what I sais to Jodi the other day. I swear that if you too were to switch places for a day, you might be able to do each others work loads with no problems..lol. You guys certainly amaze me! If I ever found my slef a gal like that, one that doesn't mind getting their fingers dirty, hard work, and loves all the laife has to offer, except the cold though, I would be so lucky. I hope the hubbies see all thses wonderful qualities in you! They are so lucky! I must say, so is my dad, very lucky!!! By the way..Mom just loves you all. It means a lot to her when you ask for her and send hugs. She is going through so much and it certainly tickles pink. Thank you! She has ask3d me if you both could post a couple of newer pics of your dogs to warm her up. She loves them. And I, I would love to see more pics of the birds if at all possible. Jodi. I honestly haven't got a clue how you do it either!!! You must be running on caffiend or adrenlinine! How in the world to go go through all that snow and carry all that water to your barn? That much water might I add? They should make a NG documentary about you since the Africans do that kind of thing, and that is in the nice weather!lol The drifts here are just stupid! I have been so sick, and I still have to get out there and shovel at 5am in the morning so mom can get her errands done taking foster grandchildren and daughter to work and schools. If it weren't for her, no one would. Those kids have no one. No relatives. Their relatives are all on drugs, in jail, or the father is married to 2 other women to those kids, that my foster sister just found out. He provideds nothing and has no interest in them at all. Thank God for my mother. She also drives 30 miles each way twice a week to take her uncle to the hospital, even in bad weather. She needs a break. The drift are high and the pop up almost buried but still working..lol My mother has been going out every two hours or so to take teh heavy snow off the top for me so it doesn't collasped. I buy her a coffee everyday for this and take her out to eat. The temps in there average i the 60's now, even when outside temps are in the teens. I think the soring equinox is finally here. The sun is feeling a lot stronger and warmer now..Yahoo! Al says my Figs are going to make it. The pots froze in my shed for a day or two and they were completly dormant. Please keep your fingers crossed for me since I just spent 100 dollars for the best shaped ones I could find.;-0) I am proud to know the women I know here and at home, since they are tough and strong Mike

I'm really, very surprised that most who have replied to this thread are, totally, unaware that most elderly folks will NOT, in fact, ask for what they need. And i do think a bit of understanding and a lot less condemnation is called for. Yes, I do know that taking care of a loved one, long term, can be frustrating....but, I truly believe that whatever YOU think you are going through is always much, much harder on your loved one. Never, ever forget that. As to bit**ing about loved ones doing certain things based, solely, on trying to maintain a controlling posture? Geez! What else do they have left? BM's... I can't think of anything more personal than that...please, please... try and be more understanding of the indignities involved...No, not your, percieved, indignities.. your loved ones REAL indignities. Regarding medication orders...for instance.. most orders are PRN.... PRN means as needed...older patients are loathe to ask for help...even if they do need pain relief...they, wrongly, assume that IF they really do need it (even if they have told the Dr. they are in pain) then the Dr. would have ordered it. The problems start when the patient expects to get pain meds because the Dr. did subscribe them (they know this because the Doc has told them he has ordered pain meds...he might, even, say to the patient "don't worry you will have meds whenever you need them)......but, PRN... as needed... the dr.'s order would state xxx drug, Q4, PRN. Q4 means every 4 hours... problem is, it's only given every 4 hours if the patient, then, requests it. And they don't....they assume that the nurses will decide if/that they DO need them... they need them...actually, because of the Dr.'s words and orders (misunderstood orders... most patients have no idea what PRN means, or have any knowledge, at all, of medical terminology, let alone, pain med terminology) they will, most likely, NOT get the needed pain relief...nurses, nor Dr.'s, ever explain this to the patients. And, on and on, it goes...food orders, meds...constipation can also be caused from meds. Lastly, I hate to see posts that draw the line, somewhere, anywhere ... of what the caregiver is willing to put up with...Mothers do not draw the line.. they do everything... including cleaning up s**t.... often, for many, many children...it never ceases to amaze me that 1 mother can take care of 2-4-5-6 and even 10 kids all by herself, and yet, those same 2-4-5-6 and even 10 kids can't take care of 1 mother. Yes, I am aware that, sadly, in lots of situations, care is left to one or two kids out of that 5-6 or 10....shame on the slackers...and kuddos to the kids that do take care.. But, do it anyway, even if you have no help...it's the right thing to do.. I'd give my life..really, to have my Mom back to take care of. Silly

Happy Mother's Day everyone. We will be having a cookout at Amber and Mike's with everyone pitching in and bringing food. We are not going to have ours until around five in the evening. I went to a Mother / Daughter banquet at our church this evening. Had a nice meal prepared by the men, I think mostly by the preacher. Had cubed steak with brown gravy, chicken tenders, mashed potatoes, green beans, cottage cheese and coleslaw. For dessert we had ice cream, sherbet and some little pastry things with fruit in them. Very tasty meal and very much enjoyed. Sue

First and foremost... you need to make sure that both you and future hubby agrees that no matter what happens you and he are a united front. Even, if you disagree the 'discussion' should be held out of ear shot of the little one. If that doesnt happen if he doesnt support you and your decisions as much as you respect his ... things will fall apart quickly. Kids are smart and all kids no how to work a system to their advantage... So, a united front is an absolute must. I think that is the problem most of the step moms have in the long run... a lack of support with regards to the kids. I personally treat my step kids exactly how I treat my daughter. No better. No Worse. I have an equal hand in raising disciplining and decision making with regards to the kids. (even if ex doesnt like it) Especially, with the little boy living with you... you need to establish what both of you consider discipline and DO NOT let yourself be over run EVER. Be prepared to be disliked... it will come from the ex and probably from the son at some point. Remember two things... 1. the ex more than likely in this situation will not disslike you for any reason other than the fact that you are actively involved in her sons life and probably doing a better job. (if she has dissappeared more than once). This will anger and frustrate you but never never express that anger infront of kid 2.kids even your very own flesh and blood at times are mean, are rude, have moments where you want to wring their little necks, and will tell you to go away and in those teenage years perhaps much worse... you wouldnt take it to heart with your own kids dont do so just because he is a step. when they say I hate you say Im sorry to hear that because I love you... You are going to be a 'mother' to this child because dad has full custody and mom lives two hours away with a tendancy to abandon him. If you are not prepared to take both fiancee and son into your heart and accept that awesome responsibility than you are not in the right relationship... no matter how wonderful it is with dad because son is going nowhere. Without that sound knowledge in your heart to know that you love that kid and would do anything for him wether dad was there or not, it will be very hard to deal with the tough times that come with raising kids. As far as attention goes... kids deserve a great deal but dont be afraid (and this goes for daddy too) to say no no this is adult time .... dont be afraid to put your relationship needs first (not to the detriment of the child) I have always believed one of the greatest gifts we can give kids is to show them how to love and be with and treat the one they love... it gives them an example for a lifetime of something strong and positive in their lives. Oh and regarding the 'discussion' of disagreements... if, for example, you tell son that he cant play with a toy for rest of the day because of something he did ... and hubby disagrees and you two talk and decide he can have the toy back ...you should be the one to give back the privilege, not dad. This way you arent made out to be the bad guy and dad saving grace. umm I think these are all of the little drops of wisdom I can share (if they can be called that) :-) good luck...