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janalyn_gw

T'was The Night Before Christmas - RP Nostalgia Time

13 years ago

I found this on the net -- I think Martin has the original post which contains the names of all of who contributed. That was back in 2003. I still remember it fondly. :)

Martinzz: This was put together a few years ago by members of RP. I've tidied it up a little for spelling and such-like. The original thread can be found here if you want to see who posted what and when.

A very Merry Christmas to you all, and I hope yours is better than this one!

TWAS THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS

And all through the house
Are half-eaten goodies....
I feel like a louse!

The black bags of rubbish are put out with care
In hopes that the dustbinman soon will be there.

(PS: for US readers substitute "garbageman" for "dustbinman"; for PC US readers substitute "environmental recycling operative")

But long before then the cats and the foxes
Have scattered the bottles, tins, paper and boxes
And all the street knows of your horrible vices
The beer, and the wine, the chocs and mince piecis.

And still under the tree
from both Santa and me
are mounds of toys
for my girl and my boy.

While I in my kerchief and he in his cap
Would love to settle down for a long winter's nap,
But the neighbors have put their decorations away
And I don't think Santa will be back with his sleigh.
So up to the housetop my dear one has gone
While I'm in the living room having a moan
As I undo the tree, the mantel, the tables;
Must *not* stop to read all the Santa Claus fables.

Then from the teen's bedroom there came such a noice
Of a thumping of bass and a wailing of voice;
I ran to the foot of the stairs with a frown
And shouted in rage, "Turn that bl**dy thing down!"

"No," screamed my teen, and my face turned red.
I stormed up the stairs to knock sense in his head.
But before I reached the top of the flight,
I heard a crashing sound in the night.
Old St. Nick on the roof top, I wondered,
No, t'was a burglar. We were getting plundered.

As I drew in my head
At the sound of the crash
My head hit the window
In a bone-splitting "SMASH!"

Twasn't a burglar
As I had suspected
Just our least favorite son
Who was feeling rejected.

Where is your spirit of Christmas?!
I heard myself bellow...
We've been waiting for you for a week
You ungrateful fellow!!!

Behold! At the sight of him, I stared and I shook!
He was clean, shaved and pressed!
A right spiffy look!
I couldn't believe how well he was dressed!

Hi Mom! He greeted me,
And grinned ear to ear.
His look had defeated me
Then he told me with cheer...

MY drug test was clear and my parole officer loves me,
My grades are all stunning and and Dad doesn't bug me.

I knew in a moment this must be a trick.
this kid's been a problem since late '96.

More rapid than relatives
Returning my gifts,
He insisted he'd changed
And would heal family rifts!

But I had decided to paint the town...

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