is it possible? of course it is. I am doing it right now. The only thing I am paying someone to do is electrical, plumbing, mechanical, drywall (I hate doing it), and shingles (again, hate doing it). I have done everything else. But then again, I have experience in the field. Both phyisically building and design/project management. My findings are not typical of a normal DIY since its probably not fair to group it into that category since its basically my professional day job. But in a nut shell, you NEED to know something about it. Subs wont take you serious. Googling and watching youtube is a start, but you need to know far far more than that. Being handy is different from building a house. Now its not to say you cant do it. Me or anyone else here does not know the skill sets you both have, however based purely on assumptions forms from reading your wording of your question....its way over your head, sorry to say. Another issue you can run into is financing. It can be hard to find financing that will do it without a GC they can trust to get things done on time and correctly.

Thanks for the advice so far- it is very helpful. Paigect, we had considered moving closer to his kids a year ago, but it is not an option right now because of our jobs. There are also issues with his ex harrassing him (obscene phone calls and the like) and it seems that the stress level for my fiance is lower with him living away from her. I am not clear as to how much the autistic child depends on his father as part of his routine. When he was in my house, the child was very stressed and wanted to leave the whole weekend to go home, although we did everything possible to keep him occupied. Because of this, I believe it is just too disruptive to him to be traveled. He also acted the same way in his grandparents' house for the first few months until he adjusted to the routine there. But, because of the severity of his condition, I do not know if he would even notice the difference between monthly and twice-monthly visits. I don't want to make that assumption having never been exposed to a developmentally disabled child, but it seems to me that an infant would notice her dad gone more than he will. When he was here, his father did most of the caretaking, but because the autistic child needs so much supervision, I ended up taking care of the girl the whole time and cooking all meals for the family, etc. which was hard because I had been working all week and had no down time(my job demands a lot of me during the week). It is true that I have not been as active as I should be with going with my fiance to visit his kids at his parents'. This has been largely due to my pregnancy, but I do agree that after the baby is born I could, and plan to, take a more active role in going up there with him and spending time with the kids. The baby's grandparents will want to see her, regardless, and it is important to me that we are providing them with that opportunity. My fiance is trying to make alternate arrangments with his brother to bring the kids to the brother's house once a month to alleviate the stress on his ill mother. I hope his brother will accomodate this. I feel that it is not only exhausting to the grandma and to me to have him driving so far every weekend, but to my fiance to make this trip twice a month. Once a month would be more managable, and there is no reason why a 13 year old could not take the train here alone (after a practice run with dad). I also agree that he feels a great deal of guilt for the situation his children are in due to having divorced parents and probably overcompensating. Compounding it, is his ex wife not handling the situation very well. She has been living with someone else for longer than we have been together, but seems to be very jealous that her ex is doing fine without her and about to start a family with someone new. I have never met or talked to her and prefer to keep it that way, and my fiance tries to keep a business-type relationship with her. However, she has been feeding information to the daughter that her father will not want to see her and the son anymore once the baby is born, and this has created jealously between the daughter and the baby even though the baby is not born. I can only hope that the daughter will grow out of this or that the jealousy will be smaller once she meets her little sister. I do not know if it is normal behavior for a 13 year old to express such extreme jealousy toward a baby sister (she tells her dad that he is ruining her life by having this baby, that she was happy being the only girl, that she hates the baby). Otherwise, she is well behaved with me and I have enjoyed having her here the 2 times she came to visit. I have a wonderful relationship with my stepmother and hope that over time we will, too. The ex wife is sure to be very unhappy if we try to reduce the amount of time he is picking up the autistic son, as she seems to want to go out to bars and party a great deal, and cannot find another babysitter. It seems strange to me that she never wants her kids on the holidays. What she thinks matters very little to me, but the fact that she drags the girl into it makes the situation harder. To me, it is not appropriate to say anything negative about the other parent in front of the child. I believe that my fiance has a certain level of fear that she will try to take the kids away from him (which is ridiculous, he is a wonderful father to those kids and she would have no grounds in court). It is a complicated situation, and I just don't want to be selfish and whiny about it. I understand that there are real challenges associated with marrying a man is divorced with kids from a previous marriage, but I also believe very strongly that my baby deserves a normal life, and I don't want my only baby to miss out on time with her father. Again, I have no idea how much an infant needs her father but I expect that being away from home 2 weekends a month would interfere with their bonding. I can handle a great deal here on my own, and he does work very hard to contribute to this household while he is here, but to be gone so much seems excessive. All of this, I have discussed with my fiance, and he understands, but I can tell he feels a great deal of guilt and I don't want to make him abandon his children. Just the opposite. I just want to make sure I am not out of line for feeling this way because I don't want to make the situation even more unfair for all involved when there are 3 kids this affects. Any more opinions on this, I would really enjoy hearing- and thanks again for the input.

Always write as you "find it" Vee. It makes for a much more interesting discussion! :) Yes, even Nao made much of her name being pronounced Now and how it related to the time theme. Read the link I posted on bullying in Japan. Nao was an outsider who barely spoke Japanese after coming to that country from the states when she was a teenager. She had American customs and not Japanese ones, so of course whe would have stood out from the pack as a non-conformist. There is a racist remark that I have heard here where an Asian/American/Cdn who has lost his heritage is referred to as a banana, yellow on the outside and white on the inside, and that term is usually used by other Asians. That link explains why some teachers tolerated the bullying as a way to help the one picked on conform. Bizarre, I agree. The Jungle Crow? He too was blown off course and ended up far from home, just like the freezer bag and its contents. We do get birds like that here, and then the birders and their cameras camp out in some poor persons backyard so they can see the exotic visitor and cross it off their lifelist of birds. But in the novel there was some sort of bafflegab symbolism going on there, I am sure. Like I said earlier, I was in Ruth's area a little while ago and stayed on one of the islands. On a Friday night, they had what is called an 'open mic' and the villagers show up with musical instruments. Some brought tea, coffee, home made desserts and all were put on a table for everyone to share. At least 100 people showed up to listen. You just sign up if you want to display your musical talents or whatever and it goes in that order. Believe me, there were quite a few eccentric people, including a former US draft dodger who sorta twanged an electric guitar and then gave a stand up comedy routine which was, well, interesting. Some guy from Iran gave a speech on the human race, a native girl sang a song she wrote about bullying, a couple of guys had banjos and played some stuff they wrote. Lots of others, some were really good. Finding someone who speaks French is not hard at all, and there are plenty of Chinese and Japanese as well. The Japanese fisherman actually were an integral part of the fisheries during the 1920's to the 1950's. After Pearl Harbour many of them were gathered up and sent to internment camps, at least 145 of them from one cannery near Prince Rupert, causing the cannery to just about shut down. People on the coast are often aware of currents, especially after the tsunami. I think that was Oliver's specialty, wasn't his brain wired for things like that? Where I was staying, a couple of retired people beachcombed as a hobby. The woman found a Japanese fishing boat washed up on shore and using the numbers, she researched it and determined its original owners and confirmed it was from the tsunami. She actually visited Japan and eventually visited the elderly owners who had lost everything (the fishing...

I think it's disingenuous to suggest that a well-made 5:1:1 mix needs constant watering. It doesn't. Even the gritty mix, that holds even less water than the 5:1:1 mix doesn't need constant watering. Do you have to water more often than more water-retentive mixes? Yes. But there is a price to be paid in the form of lost potential for the convenience of soils that hold water for extended intervals. Denise: there is a monetary consideration that clearly delineates hobby growers from professional growers. Nursery/greenhouse ops wouldn't be willing to pay employees to water twice as often as a heavier mix because they've weighed the cost of limitations due to temporary periods of excess water retention against the cost of watering more frequently, and decided it's to the advantage of their bottom line to sacrifice some lost potential to save labor $. The hobby grower is in the hobby to scratch their nurturing gene. for the most part, They actually feel good about spending more time with their plants and offering them the best care they can afford, as opposed perhaps to the cheapest soil they can find. Think of it in terms of the difference in perspectives between a puppy mill and the owner of a new puppy - two completely different worlds. So, care given by a nursery and greenhouse of will always be in consideration of the bottom line, which means following their lead will not always be in the best interest of the plant. Your care and mine are far more likely to be about providing the best care we can. Holding up the practices of a greenhouse or nursery is a little like asking us to emulate a puppy mill. I know - tugging at your heart strings. I wasn't really trying to do that - just the first good comparison that popped into my mind. Chicken farmer/ pet chicken, beef grower/ pet cow is another. If a plant is properly handled during a repotting session, it would be extremely unusual to lose a plant. Look at the two following root reductions where well over 90% of the roots were removed:Here, I have just finished pruning the top. This is after the root work was completed: Here ^^^, about 1/2 of the roots have already been removed The plant with root work complete:Note the size of the roots I removed. Many were more than 1" in diameter. In subsequent repots, I have removed all the knobby roots from the bottom of the bole. This plant was grown in the gritty mix - note the remarkably (for a maple) fibrous root system. The entire soil mass, you can see, is densely packed with the fine roots that do the lion's share of the work. After the root work: If you look, you can see the wire that shows this tree was layered above a poorly formed (but not unhealthy) root system. Where each of the 7 main roots are now, those that emanate horizontally from the trunk, I bored 7 holes into the sapwood and treated each hole individually with IBA rooting gel. I ended up with 7 perfectly spaced roots that will look great when they are later exposed on top of the soil. One more series, just to illustrate how little trees care about having half or more of their root systems removed: Again - note how healthy the roots are. ^^^ I wouldn't suggest you approach root pruning this radically, but removing 1/3 to 1/2 of a young plant's roots (younger than say 25 years) should be no problem. Plants that grow extremely fibrous roots (boxwood, azalea .....) need a slightly different approach. Keep the roots always wet while you work. First remove all problem roots (crossing, encircling, girdling, j-hooked roots - roots that grow upward, straight down, and roots that grow back toward the center of the root mass. After the problems are corrected (makes future repots much easier - the first is always the hardest) concentrate on removing the largest roots with the fewest fine roots attached. We know that root congestion negatively impacts growth, vitality (health) and yields, and those limitation become increasingly severe as root congestion increases. Pruning a bit around the edges of the root/soil mass and potting up is a half measure that ensures limitations remain until someone physically gets into the root mass and corrects the congestion and problem roots. Even planting out (in the landscape) will not eliminate the effects of congestion in the soil mass that existed at plant-out time. Al