Hi Jenn & welcome to Gardenweb! What a great tree! It's kind of confusing but this section where you asked your question isn't the regular spot where it should go. If you put it on this part of the house plants forum, it will get the proper responses. This section is for wacky, off-topic discussions.

I used to think morality mattered in situations like this, but I'm not sure if I feel that way anymore. I sold a house to young immigrants from Poland once, and their free-wheeling/creative aggression when it came to questioning financial rules was eye-opening. Afterwards I wondered if it was because they grew up with a less controlled economic system than ours. Capitalism is inherently ruthless at the macro level. Why should it suddenly grow a conscience at the micro level? Smart investing require making smart business decisions. Which path makes the most sense financially for your family, long term? Crunch the numbers, make a decision, and then live with it. Personally, if I were in this situation my first responsibility would be to protect my household's financial strength, no matter what it took.

Karen, if your family is anything like mine, until you lost your Dad, you hadn't seen a lot of loss or grief for someone. It's hard to watch it (and experience it!) I think I'd probably just call my Mom, if I were you, and ask her to your house to eat, to go out, to watch activities that the kids are involved in, etc. Let her know that it's okay to not be in the mood to do anything. Also let her know that you really WANT her to be involved in whatever your family is doing. My Mom has spent the night at my house two nights since my Dad passed away. Get this, I had to break my ankle and have surgery in order to get her to do that! LOL I kid her that having surgery is the only way she'll stay at my house overnight! LOL We live 80 miles apart and I call her everyday - usually twice a day. We've talked more by phone in the last four years than we'd ever talked in our lives. My DH and I and our kids and grandkids make it a point to at least spend part of every holiday at her house. She likes to stay home, so we go to her. I DO feel sometimes at her house, when everyone is there but Daddy, that there's the proverbial "big gray elephant" in the house that no one mentions. You know what I mean? Everybody is highly aware of the fact that he's no longer with us, but nobody wants to talk about it for fear of upsetting somebody else! Now, when it's just my Mom and me together, we cry (and laugh!) when we feel the need to. That's something else that I haven't thought to mention. Let her cry when she feels the need to cry. I guess you don't have to say a word, just be there for her. She and I both have talked about the fact that Fathers are the HEAD of most families. Then, as women, we both agree that the Mothers are the HEART of the family. Maybe you can reassure her in that way that she IS a vital, needed part. ((Karen))

NC RE Guy- We have a terrific A/C guy who actually fixes stuff. Your question reminded me....the tenant in our 2nd floor condo calls us for everything. Fortunately it's only a few miles away, but she has no idea what to do if the A/C stops working and I do all the troubleshooting myself - (once the thermostat needed a new battery, once the drain was plugged up (easy fix with a shop vac) and once the repairman had to put in a new circuit board - yay! - didn't try to sell us a new unit even though this was really old). We've had to replace the hot water heater which was leaking and the catch tray that was installed with a big hole in it (!?!!?), not difficult to do ourselves. The auto garage-door opener was the worst. She called one of those companies that came out and declared we needed a new one to the tune of $350 or something (she paid for the service call of $100 or so since we did not authorize it). My husband made a trip to the local Ace Hardware and replaced the belt drive for about $5. That was about two years ago and it's been working fine since then. Same local A/C guy, our home A/C needed a new electrical something (can't remember) so that was $130 or so, and then a few weeks later mid-summer, he sold us a new fan for the cooling unit which we installed ourselves because he was too busy for a few days - nobody else would sell us the proprietary Trane part since we weren't authorized service people. That was awesome of him to do that. Unfortunately, the leaks are going to have us replace the whole thing before next summer no matter what. We've also changed out the 2nd circuit board on our pool heater after the warranty ran out (chewed up by fruit rats both times, now protected by a wire cage). The salt generator needed a new circuit board, but that one was covered. I just put new wings and feet on the pool vac. A used-to-be SubZero but no-longer-authorized guy fixed our fridge for next-to-nothing (another electrical do-dad). Anyway, yes, there are still people around who fix stuff, but honestly, they can only fix stuff that is high quality to start with. Friends of ours with a bike shop have a difficult time with folks who bring in their cheap big-store bikes to get fixed up and there's pretty much nothing they can do for them. Our last no-name dryer (came with the house) was not worth fixing when we could buy a brand-new dented high-quality one for the same price at the Sears Outlet store. Basically, there are the fix-it people and the people who have to call for service or just replace. Fix-it is definitely a more frugal way to go. I mean, I'm always amazed that there are people who don't know how to change a tire in their own car. Really? That's the lowest level of fix-it and everyone should be able to do it - it's so easy! I just wish my tenant was even just a little bit of a fix-it person! (batteries? really?)