My advice is that you leave and find someone else, thought not for the same reasons Mkroopy gave. I suspect your BF is using his child as a cover for not wanting to commit, and even if you get past it, the feeings you have now will linger for a long time. My DH used his DD as a buffer between he and I for over 5 years before I got fed up and left (I guess I was a glutton for punishment). We took a break, and obviously, we were able to work most of this out (SD moved away which resolved most of it) or we wouldn't have gotten married, but HIS actions built an atmosphere of competition that SD, DS and I still feel the remnants of when we are all together. He didn't want to commit, but still wanted me around. It took me almost 2 years before I saw what was going on. Actually it was our 2nd New Years Eve together and he didn't want to go out, but didn't actually want to say it, so he called BM and arranged to have SD that night and told me (at the last minute, of course) that he couldn't go because BM had to work so he had to keep SD. The next day, the truth came out when BM picked up SD at an odd time (for her having to have had to work the night before). DH having SD every weekend was the PERFECT reason to get out of doing things with me that he didn't necessarily want to do, such as attend weddings (going to a wedding alone really sucks) or my work events. I couldn't argue without sounding evil, hateful and selfish. He would never tell SD he was on a date with me. Our first 3 dates were during the week and I got a babysitter for my DS (3 years old at the time), because he didn't want SD to get jealous. He even jumped up out of the booth and ran out to the car to take her "goodnight" phone call during dinner at a fancy steakhouse we went to on our 2nd date. He didn't want her to know he was out so he went out to the car because it would be quiet. Eventually, the "dates" stopped because I refused to continue getting a sitter when he would never try to find time to go out on the weekends DS was with his dad. And that was another perfect excuse because he could say "well I only get her on the weekends, but you get DS during the week." So then I'd feel guilty for even daring to think I could ask him to spend time with me without our kids. One night, I planned a romantic evening specifically on a night after SD had an event, BM was off, and SD would likely go home with BM. As we are......you know......spending time together, SD calls and leaves a message that she wants to come over and BM can drop her off in 10 minutes. He asks me "are we done?", calls SD back and tells her BM can drop her off anytime and that we were just watching TV. I was hurt that he was so willing to brush me off that quickly when we hadn't had a single moment alone in almost 4 years! But what could I say? If I ever complained about it, he'd say I didn't like his daughter, which was quickly becoming the truth since he was effectively using her against me. I felt the same way....I hated myself for being jealous of a little girl! I told myself I was selfish and, of course, he wasted no opportiunity to throw the "You can't make me choose between you and my daughter" defense in my face. It was the perfect cover for him not wanting to commit and he used it all the time. Three things we learned through this are: 1. I was not crazy or selfish for expecting some adult alone-time with the man I was dating!!! There has to be a balance between parenting and dating. In a perfect world, the dating and alone-time would come BEFORE there are kids to compete for attention. In situations where there are already kids, adult alone-time HAS to become intentional. Sure it's not going to be as often as if there were no kids, but it's not about quantity, it's about quality. 2. Your kids can't be your life. This goes with anyone in any type of family. If you make your kids the sole source of your happiness, you will always be sad, because you will never be that for them, and one day they will leave you and you'll be left with someone you don't know.....you. You are allowed to have your own interests and hobbies, and it's good for your kids to be involved in something you like to do instead of always being involved in them. It teaches them that the world doesn't revolve around them, but they still feel important in it. I started playing on a co-ed softball team while DH and I were on that break and I kept up with it. DS LOVES coming out and cheering me on and supporting me! And, while DH and I were separated, I wasn't wallowing around in pity on the weekends DS was with his dad. 3. Kids need to see healthy dating and marriage relationships modeled for them in order to grow up and have healthy dating and marriage relationships. We wonder why there are so many divorces and broken families...maybe it's because too many parents modeled self-centered marriages and the kids just keep repeating the patterns? This is true for intact families, too, but has to be even more intentional with stepfamilies.

georgysmom - I am so sorry for what you are going through. My thoughts are with you all. We had a particularly rough spring. These sudden deaths, unfortunately aren't just the domain of the middle-aged. DS2, who is 24, had a female friend die of a brain aneurysm this spring. She was newly engaged and my son had gone through a university program with her fiance. Another young friend who was 26, died of a massive heart attack. He decided at the last minute to go home for the weekend to see his parents. He died at the dinner table. And, the 30 year old son of a good friend of mine took his own life. As I said, it's been a rough spring and full of questions of Why? My sympathies to all who experience these unexpected passings of friends and family.

Glad you are feeling better. Starting yesterday I noticed my throat felt sore and today I started to have that little tickle and a cough. Hope it isn't something that is going to last weeks. I feel pretty lucky though cause I haven't had a bad cold or virus for a couple years now.

Cool! To be picky, farro just means hulled wheat. If the grains are large, it's probably emmer. What type of wheat it is has no effect at all on your adventure but I get annoyed that they label it as "farro" when farro could be any of a number of varieties of wheat. Your salad sounds scrumptious!