A very sad, sad story

12 years ago

I have a close friend whose son and DIL came home for Xmas, this is the first time they had been together since 2000. My friend never liked her DIL for various reasons, but this year they were all going to put everything behind they and reconcile.

On Dec. 9th the DIL father passed away but they decided to make the trip to be home for Xmas with the family. This DIL was also 6 months pregnant with their first child so lots to be happy for. They arrived at my friends house on Dec. 23rd, they live on the east coast, had a party that night with friends. The next morning the DIL did not feel well had a fever, that night around 10pm her husband took her to the hospital and they discovered that the baby had died. By the next morning (Christmas Day) at 4am the DIL was also dead, a blood clot went to her lungs.

I just cannot wrap my head around this, it is so tragic on so many levels.

Just had to tell someone.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (16)

mare_wbpa
12 years ago
So awful!!
chisue
12 years ago
How tragic. Only 'upside' is that the family DID make the effort to reconcile in time. Sometimes the only certain time is now.
Related Discussions
sad rose story turns HAPPY!
Q
Comments (8)
Jackie, Soil steaming is done by using special equipment, a bit like the steam cleaners used for household cleaning but larger. Has to be done by professionals. Soil solarization is done by covering damp soil for an extended period (1 to 3 months) with transparent polyethelene sheets. Again if you want to go that way you should seek local expert advice. Both techniques increase soil temperature enough to sterilize it to adequate depth. The particular bacterium is killed if exposed to a temp of approx 60C/140F for an hour. One can lower this time by using a higher temp or deploy a somewhat lower temp and increase the exposure time. You get the additional benefit of getting rid of weeds for a period. Both these methods are commonly used in commercial cultivation, usually under glass. PS. For a limited area boiled water might do the trick. But I don't know it for a fact and I can't find references. You will need to maintain the heat for some time. Check with a local expert. PS2. All above methods will destroy the roots of plants so if other plants are nearby, much thought must be given before deploying them. Again, seek the advice of a local expert. PS3 People have been known to use charcoal fire heat for soil sterilization. The problem with this is that the intense heat may have permanent effects on soil chemical composition plus the heat might not reach adequate depth. Not recommended. Nik Here is a link that might be useful: Soil solarization This post was edited by nikthegreek on Sat, Jan 25, 14 at 0:59
...See More
a sad composting story
Q
Comments (17)
The original post was pretty old but I thought it was worth mentioning: the best way to avoid a stinky anaerobic pile of food scrap in the spring is to layer that stuff with browns all during the winter. The OP said that in spring they would mix the food scrap pile with last fall's leaves. So they had leaves handy. I would recommend keeping a bin/pile/bag/wire fence circle full of leaves next to the compost bin. Whenever you add kitchen waste during the winter, add a generous layer of leaves. This will balance the C:N ratio and moisture, and may actually allow some aerobic decomposition to occur during the winter (although it may be slow). The pile will be farther along toward be done in spring, and with the leaves allowing air in and balancing the high N, it will be less likely to stink and be toxic to pets come spring. Basically, what you should do to make a good balanced compost pile applies any season of the year. No reason to let your pile be anaerobic in the winter.
...See More
Cut and Come Again Sadness (my sad salad mix story)
Q
Comments (2)
Angela, as long as the CENTER is left intact they should keep growing. If you left 2-3 inches, I wouldn't think you'd have stopped the growth. Maybe a better way for you would be to hand pick the outer leaves. That's actually what I do with my lettuce, it was the mesclun bed that I was cutting. I hand pick leaves from my spinach and my lettuce, only taking leaves that are large enough to use. I notice they aren't growing much right now, and the variety of lettuce I planted, Red Sails, never did get to a decent size...next year I'm going back to my old standby, Prizehead. I ran out and took a photo of my mesclun bed, you should be able to see how closely I cut it and how tall the previous cutting has grown. BTW, I did provide filtered shade for this bed when it was hot...I placed a sheet of white plastic lattice over it, which let it sun, shade and water through. It looks pretty rough, because I just cut last night and then I dug a bunch of it up and put it in containers to hopefully transport to AZ! We are expecting temps back up in the low 70s with lows in the 40s again, so I've moved the seedlings outside. The red lettuce plants I'd put inside under the light turned green! No red in them at all. Here is a link that might be useful: Annie's Kitchen Garden
...See More
Sad End to My Wedding Regrets Story
Q
Comments (23)
I once lost a good friend because I told her I was in a panic that she was about to marry a guy who had "swept her off her feet", promised her the moon, &, as I found out later, already driven wedges between her & me...he'd done this before & knew exactly how to isolate a woman & control her. He was a detective for a drug manufacturer; he never said how he got started in that field, but I later wondered if he had been in law enforcement & had been forced to leave. I tend not to see red flags; if *I* can see the guy is bad news, he's probably a serial killer or some such. She was angry, she was defensive, she cut me off. They married, he got her to quit her job so he could "take care of" her, leaving her completely dependent on him. He got her to trade in her economical car on a big sedan that she "deserved". only thing, since she wasn't working, she couldn't get a loan, so new car was in his name. She knew he'd been married twice, since there were a couple of kids he had to explain; after the marriage, she learned that he'd been married 5 times. One of the women had died young, of a heart attack if I remember correctly. She came to me once looking for a safe place to stay...& missed him so much that she called him to come get her. I came home to find him *in my house*. He smirked at me. I stormed into the house & told her he wasn't to walk through that door again, & she drew herself up to her full 5'2" & frostily told me that that was fine. She carried each of her belongings outside, & he carried them to his car. It was the last straw. I'll do anything for anybody, but this put my life in danger, & I never spoke to her again. I did see her at the grocery store one evening, with him hovering very close to her; she was as thin as a rail, she had shadows under her eyes, & she looked very fragile. Years later, I googled her & found her obituary. No cause of death was listed. She had been in her late 50's. I apologize for the long story, but the moral, if there is one, is this: When a bad man worms his way into a woman's confidence, there's nothing you can say or do that will convince her; he's already brainwashed her, already taken control, & time & experience are the only things that will convince her that he's a predator or abuser. If I had it to do again, I think I'd get *a man* to talk to her about the danger signs; if I had it to do again, I'd love her & go to her wedding & make sure she knew that I was there for her. but, sadly, I'd send her to a shelter to protect myself.
...See More
marylmi
12 years ago
How terrible! What a tragic year for that family!
Pieonear
12 years ago
So sad.
susie53_gw
12 years ago
Oh, how sad for a family just coming back together. I will. be praying for them..
fran1523
12 years ago
What an awful thing to happen to anyone. It just reenforces the fact that life is too short and too fragile to hold grudges or not be at peace with everyone in your family. My prayers for all of you.
joyfulguy
12 years ago
One death is hurtful to the survivors and it adds to the complications when there are mixed feelings including troubles, for it leads to complications in the emotional reactions of the surviving person where there was distance ... but that does not appear to have been the situation with the father.

How fortunate that they had decided to resolve some of the issues related to your friend's family and were in the process when this double tragic event took place.

I hope that some of the issues had been dealt with satisfactorily before the situation was put on permanent hold.

I hope that your friend is able to deal with the death and mourning in a fairly normal way, without extra complications arising from earlier antipathy.

There's a message here for us all, I think - when there's been trouble in a family or among friends, it's best to make a substantial effort to get the situation resolved earlier, rather than later ... for later the door of opportunity may be closed for the rest of this life.

May God's grace be with your friend and family as they work their way through this difficult period.

ole joyful
dedtired
12 years ago
Life is so cruel sometimes. My heart just breaks for them. Imagine what the mother of your friend's DIL must be going through, losing her husband, daughter and grandchild all within a couple weeks. Heartbreaking for all involved and a good lesson to hold your loved ones close.
phyllis__mn
12 years ago
Oh, this is just too sad to contemplate; may it remind us to hold our loved ones closer.
patti43
12 years ago
Add to what Phyllis said--never forget to say, "I love you" to your family and dear friends.
marie_ndcal
12 years ago
Just sending prayers and special thoughts for the families involved. I went thru something similiar many years ago and know the feelings. Just be there for your friend and do what you can to help out.
wantoretire_did
12 years ago
So very very sad.
Terri_PacNW
12 years ago
It's really hard to wrap ones head around this.
Such a heart wrenching situation.
jemdandy
12 years ago
This is a very sad story and it affects the son of your friend most of all. Please remember this was happenstance and was not the fault of anyone. The son will need support from all of you. Now is the time to pull together like a family. And by the way, its ok to cry!
lindaohnowga
12 years ago
Prayer for strength and comfort just said for that poor family. That is just so very sad.
susie53_gw
12 years ago
Prayers for all!!

A very sad, sad story

Comments (16)

mare_wbpa

chisue

Related Discussions

marylmi

Pieonear

susie53_gw

fran1523

joyfulguy

dedtired

phyllis__mn

patti43

marie_ndcal

wantoretire_did

Terri_PacNW

jemdandy

lindaohnowga

susie53_gw

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US