We're losing my mom -- prayers appreciated

16 years ago

I know I've been absent from the Table lately, because this is an incredibly busy and stressful time for me at work. That's another story, but not for today.

As many of you know, my 75-yo mother is in the final stages of Alzheimer's Disease. Hospice has told us her body is shutting down and her death is approaching. I've been praying for God to take her, but this is so HARD. Mom is in a wonderful assisted living facility with very caring staff. Hospice visits daily, and my sister and I have been taking turns sitting with her. It's so heartbreaking to sit and wait for her to die. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

On the plus side, I have a wonderful DH, DS and siblings. I know it's Mom's time and God will take care of her. I'm just hurting so badly that I'd appreciate prayers for Mom and for us.

Thank you all.

Hugs,

SadieSadie

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Comments (69)

marilyn_c
16 years ago
Sadiesadie, I am so sorry. It is so sad to lose your mother, no matter what the circumstances. I'll be thinking about you, and I wish you peace.
wanda_va
16 years ago
Sending prayers for you and your mother. Hugs!
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Well, I don't know this for a fact, but whenever I read about a saintly person, I suspect that there must be SOME place they can go complain about their washing lepers' bandages, giving everything to the poor, ha! And Allyssa, you are in a very challenging situation fraught with emotion that will indeed call upon you to be a bit saintly - but the results down the road could be very rewarding. This little guy is probably going to go through harder times before things get better. To your great credit, you sound very wise in understanding that he's been through some awful stuff and he's going to have some acting out. I agree with the other posters - counseling for him and maybe the whole family would be a great start. About your baby-to-be, I don't think there is any supernatural reason why that isn't happening, but stress can supposedly make it harder to conceive. Whatever you can do to take care of yourself and to feel more at peace couldn't hurt, both in getting pregnant and having a healthy pregnancy. And whatever it takes to feel like your daughter isn't getting the short end of the stick in any way. And how are you and your DH doing? Is there a strain between you at all? One other thing strikes me about your post - your sense that you don't want to overstep the mom boundaries. That is very sensitive and perceptive. I would say that your basic stance with SS right now could be "I know I can't replace your mom, but I am a mom, and I'm here for you." And down the road, the mother-son bond may well grow. Bottom line, don't beat yourself up. You sound like you have a lot of wisdom and understanding about what your SS is going through, and the challenges to your family. Having someone to talk to is so important! Hope you get some help here. Best wishes.
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thsnk goodness you had family to take her to "right" er...nothing worse being away and sick...hope you have agood drive home..please post again about her sept surgery... just an fyi? my mom had dropped her meds in the sink, and lost some...went to a local pharmacy and they called hers and replaced the 3-4 pills she'd lost...if your dd uses a biggie (like wal mart, walgreens) they might do the same...
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mrsjjb
16 years ago
Sadiesadie, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I hope the good Lord blesses you with peace and wisdom during this difficult time. I pray your Mother's transition is a smooth one.

I am confident that hospice care will keep her comfortable. My Grandmother died with the assistance of hospice. They are a true gem!

(((hugs)))
LorifromUtah
16 years ago
You are in my prayers, Sadie.

Lori
vannie
16 years ago
I'm so sorry for you and your family. I lost my mother to Alzheimer's and it's a terrible way to go. My mother just went to sleep and never had pain at the end, for which we were thankful. I hope your mom will peacefully go to sleep. May God wrap His arms around you and your mom and your family.
donna_oh
16 years ago
Sadie, You, your dear mom, & family will be in my thoguhts & prayers-

Donna (^_^)
lydia1959
16 years ago
(((Sadiesadie)))

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
frazoo
16 years ago
Oh, sadiesadie, I am so very sorry for you all. My mom also has Alzheimer's. She is 80 and in a nursing home. As clueless as she is, she has survived several set-backs. Without meaning to hijack your thread, I want you to know that I understand your conflict of emotions.

A couple of years ago, Mom had a bowel impaction. That is absolutely no way to die, so we opted for the surgery, which meant that we had to be in her room 24-7. Well, the surgery was successful, but she convulsed afterwards and was in a coma, so was put into Medical ICU. She recovered within 24 hours.

However, while she was in the coma, we were with her, and I found myself saying all kinds of things to get her to respond and open her eyes. "Mom, Mom, wake up. There's things to do." "Mom, Mom, you're in the hospital. You're safe and we are with you." etc., etc. But, my head and my heart were saying..."Or not" "It's okay to go" "Lord, take her now." etc. etc.

I wish you peace and strength.

Leslie/KS
Happy_Go_Lucky_Gayle
16 years ago
Sadie, I'm so sorry. I watched my Father fade from this disease.

Good bless you and your family and please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

It is in God's Hands.

Gayle
angela_nor_calif
16 years ago
I can imagine how hard that must be. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
maryanntx
16 years ago
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. But it's so wonderful that your Mom is getting such great care. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
gadgets
16 years ago
I'm sorry to hear about your Mom's illness/condition. It's hard to lose a mother. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Shirley
patches_02
16 years ago
Thoughts and prayers are with you. We went through this with father in-law. We know she will be in a better place.
Bless you and your family.
ritamay91710
16 years ago
Sending thoughts and prayers up for you.
gardenspice
16 years ago
I'm sending best thoughts for the strength to get through this most painful time.
GardenSpice
hale_bopp
16 years ago
Sending prayers and hugs to you all. It's such a difficult time- we were just there w/ DH's grandmother.

Blessings,
Haley
Cherryfizz
16 years ago
(((SadieSadie))) I noticed you were missing. Feel all of our arms around you to help support you at this most difficult heartwrenching time. I can feel your pain.

My thoughts and prayers for your Mom and you and your family.

Anne
koda04
16 years ago
sadie i am so sorry
prayers for you and your family
phyllis__mn
16 years ago
I'm joining the others in sending you caring thoughts at this time.
amicus
16 years ago
Please know that I am extending my heartfelt thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
williamsburgjane
16 years ago
Sending special thoughts and warm hugs to you and your family. I know how much it hurts all of you.
judy_jay
16 years ago
Adding my prayers to all the others. May God see you through & give you the strength you need to pass through this stressful time. (((((SadieSadie)))))
dibby
16 years ago
My prayers are with you and your family. I'm glad that you are able to be with her.
bestlawn
16 years ago
Hugs to you during this difficult time.
I pray your strength and peace of mind.
Kathsgrdn
16 years ago
((((SadieSadie))))
Mickey15
16 years ago
I'm so sorry SadieSadie..
Hugs and prayers,
Tammy
caroline94535
16 years ago
(((((SadieSadie, Your Mom, and Family)))))
pris
16 years ago
(((To you all))) May God Bless
ladonna
16 years ago
Bless your heart. You and your family is in my thoughts and prayers. ((((((((hugs)))))))
evatx
16 years ago
Oh, Sadie, I'm so sorry about your dear mom. I wish peace for you and your family.

A year ago we watched our closest friend (age 65) go through the same thing. Alzheimer's is such a tragic disease; we lost our friend long before he passed away.
lynne_melb
16 years ago
Sadie, so sorry to hear this. Your mom and your entire family are in our prayers.
des_arc_ya_ya
16 years ago
((Sadie)) Come by and visit when you get a chance. We're here for you.
ashli
16 years ago
My mother had Alzheimer's, but before it had her completely, she died from smoke inhalation she suffered when her house caught fire.
There's no good or fair way to lose your parents.
God Bless You.
imabest
16 years ago
Sadie I just went thru that with my 100 year old mother a year ago in Oct.
the watching and waiting are so hard but you will be proud you did it when she's gone.
god bless you all and may God grant you and your Mother peace soon.my prayers are with you all love imabest
kathi_mdgd
16 years ago
Sadie,i'm sorry you're going thru this.Prayer,good thoughts and hugs for you,your mom and all your family.
Kathi
grammahony
16 years ago
Prayers for you Sadie. It's so hard to wait for what you know is coming. But, know she'll be at peace.
Leslie
glenda_al
16 years ago
My prayers and thoughts are with you!
trinitytx
16 years ago
My heart goes out to you and your family. This is such a hard thing to do. Just waiting seems so wrong. But it is fortunate you can be with her. Keep the memories alive.

(((Hugs)))

Trin
carol_in_california
16 years ago
I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
May your Mom have a peaceful journey.....
kacram
16 years ago
Sadie, I'm so sorry.
patti43
16 years ago
I'm so sorry. I've been (like several others here) through it. It's such a frustrating disease and families feel so hopelessly helpless. Many prayers for you and your sister and families, too. Special prayer for mom.
bunny_lover
16 years ago
Many prayers for you & all of your family.
tami_ohio
16 years ago
Prayers for all of you going up.

Tami
sooey
16 years ago
Sadie, I am so sorry to read your post. This is a difficult time for all of you. It is hard, it is sad and it can drain you. It's also a time for all of you to be together, not just for your Mom, but for all of you.

I will keep you all in my thoughts. Wish you the very best.

sooey
country_bumpkin_al
16 years ago
My thoughts and Prayers of comfort are with you and your family!!!
Pieonear
16 years ago
Thinking of you and your family.
Mystical Manns
16 years ago
sadiesadie ... blessings to you and your family. The watching and waiting are so terribly hard, I know ... be sure to tell her that it's OK to go into His arms ... when my mother passed, it was within hours of us telling her that. Even tho she hadn't been conscious for days, I believe she was trying to hold on *for us.*
mamatoad
16 years ago
Sadie, I will keep your mom and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I remember the pain and sadness of going through something similar with my Mom nineteen years ago. It's never easy to give up someone we love. (((Sadie))))Bettye
gwanny2three
16 years ago
I feel your pain also...it's not easy to see your parents slipping away. Many prayers and good thoughts for all of you.
joyfulguy
16 years ago
(((((SadieSadie)))))

How hard it is to sit with someone that we've loved almost more than anyone else in the world, and know that they are going, and that it really is for the best, and that there's nothing that we can do about it.

I hope that you can take some deep breaths, several times a day, and as you gently exhale, let some of the pain slip away with the breath as it departs.

God grant to each in your family the strength and peace in their hearts that will let them take their leave of our Mom with thankfulness and joy.

May your Mom go to her new life with peace in her heart, as well.

(((((SadieSadie, her Mom, and family)))))

ole joyful

We're losing my mom -- prayers appreciated

Comments (69)

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