Not a chance! Its not just you! I do it too.

Like I posted before, From the womb to the tomb!

I'm not much of a worrier. So don't waste much time worrying. When I do, I probably worry about my middle son more than the others because if anything is going to happen, it will be to him.

I think you never lose the Mother instinct. I've learned not to worry but I do when I know one of them has a problem.

My kids live on the other side of the country so unless I hear from one of them that they have a problem I never know.

DS and his wife just separated a week ago. He is in the process of going to the Philippines to work for a couple of years. So we are helping him where we can and trying to give sound advice when asked.

That is just part of being a Mom... All our kids are doing well and married really nice people. We work hard at being good parents and in-laws, too. So far, so good. We try to be there when needed. We help with the grandkids when we are needed. You never know what is coming down the road so just always be there when they need you. I have found that love and respect for each other homes and lives takes us miles and miles.. We love all 13 of them dearly!!!!

Susie

I don't worry about anything... I consider worrying to be a complete waste of my time.

Worry doesn't change a thing...

That expression "from the womb to the tomb" just about sums it up.

I don't worry as much as I used to. I realize life won't be perfect for them, as it's not perfect for anybody and surely not me. I have to have faith that they are grounded and know what is right and what is wrong and how to treat other people and how to treat themselves. I've got one on the interstate right now, between San Antonio and Austin, which is a race track, but it wouldn't do me any good to worry about her. I pray and ask God to keep them in the palm of His hand, and that's all I can do.

I've said for years that one of my major tasks as a parent was [note the tense of that verb] to help/encourage my children to prepare themselves for independence.

Possibly distancing was aided by the fact that I became a non-resident, plus non-custodial parent when my son was 9 and daughter 6, and son and I were rather distant for some time ... when I lived for five years in a location 50 miles away, I don't think that he visited once for part of a weekend (which would have included church, and he was distant from that, as well).

After university, (they each paid about 1/3, their Mom paid about a third, I paid about a third for each ... I think that they each grad will little, if any, debt) they've been grown and on their own for at least 20 years.

While I'm interested in what they're doing, I don't worry about them, especially with regard to day to day activities.

I am rather concerned about son's ongoing financial viability, especially regarding his funding his retirement ... but I've proposed his getting a secondary income to add to his minimal one as an entertainer until he's tired of hearing it ...

... and I'm rather of the opinion that he's not stupid ... and he's making his bed now, that he may have to lie in, later, and if he chose/chooses to (rather bull-headedly) forego an available supplementary income, earlier in life, in order to build a confortable life, later ...

... that's his problem.

I can't run his life ... that's up to him.

Also, as a personal financial advisor for 25 years, I was of the view that it was up to others to manage their own money, that I was a facilitator, only.

I guess some of that has been operational with him, as well.

As for daughter, we talk some and have a good relationship, but I haven't known a lot of details regarding her daily activities for years ... which grew substantially from about the time that she married, I think.

Her Mom was head of food service in a major hospital for some 20 years, and we both taught her to choose what she wanted to do, then go for it. She proposed, by the way ... and kept her name on marriage ... she was operating in a professional capacity on graduation from university. Divorced after about 5 years - following that her husband stayed in next relationship less than 3 years ... she stayed in a recent informal one for about three or four.

For years she's acted as a career coach, especially helping people following lay-off. Recent promotion ... entailing expanded duties ... but lacking increased compensation. She said last Sat. when I called for her birthday that there's major expansion in their business, these days.

Invited to AZ to see her new (to her) home, to celebrate 80th birthday ... if I fly (her choice ... Bruce's too), she pays ... if I drive (somewhat my choice) ... I pay.

Ain't life fun?

ole joyful

I worry all the time...they all know to call me before they leave to go any far distance and when they get there. If I hear sirens after they leave here I call them to make sure they are ok. My dad was the same way...we had to check in quite a bit, even after we got older!

I worry all the time - sometimes to the point that I am reduced to tears. I wish that I could adopt the philosophy that worrying is pointless and it doesn't change a thing - this is so true, but it is not in my nature to be like this and so I worry - all the time. Not only are my kids are worry, it's my parents too. They moved into an aged care facility a few months ago after being ill - Mum loves it there, but Dad doesn't and so there is a lot of friction between them. It costs such a lot of money to get into these places and Dad has been worried about their financial standing, but their house sold at auction last Saturday for a reasonably good price, so hopefully he will settle down now. I don't worry so much about my eldest son - Matthew is 35, has a lovely wife and great marriage and he is a self-employed electrician and doing well at the moment. My concerns with him and Susan are with their general well-being and safety. My other son, Craig, is 22 and he is like chalk and cheese to Matt. Craig has moved back home with us and since we moved to Maitland, he has had trouble finding work and doesn't have many friends here. So I am continually worrying about him and his future - it really does concern me. I would just like to see him settled and happy. Anyway, what will be, will be!!!

You sound like me Cheryl, I have one daughter that is quite stable and is expecting her first child, my other daughter has a very good job but she travels all over the world with her work and because of this she really doesn't have any stable friends or a partner. How can you meet someone when you travel all the time. My Mother is 88 and is also a concern to me, she is quite healthy but at that age you just never know from one day to the next her situation.

Of course we worry about our kids. But I think Ole Joyful is absolutely spot on that our job is to raise them with the tools they need for independence so we can worry a lot less.

So I think of my kids often, speak to them often, worry some about the big stuff and let the little stuff go.

I now they hit a lot of speed bumps in life but I know they will handle it.

Both my kids do risky things. DS rides motorcycles and DD loves heights of any kind and those things I say a quick prayer for. But worrying about things I cannot change is unproductive and can only shorten my own life. I can't help them if I'm not here.

I do worry about my DD when she is driving home from or to college and I worry about her when she is out running around when she is home. I don't worry about her much when she is at school though. She works on campus and I know she is not out driving around much. It helps too that she has a nice boyfriend and I do not have to worry about her dating guys I do not know.

I worry much less these days than I used to. I try to tell myself that whatever is going to happen will happen anyhow.

If one is worrying about someone without a strong basis (they're ill,they're in danger,they're in an abusive relationship) to the point of tears or losing sleep over the worries I would think they should talk to their MD about it.

That kind of worry and anxiety may come from within and may not be about the situation of the kids at all. They are just the subject of the worry, not the actual cause.

I don't really "worry" about my girls, I just seem to have to rescue one ever so often. Tomorrow starts another rescue mission (for the oldest one).

Eventually, I think she should settle down. At her age, I had a fourteen year old, and a twelve year old daughter, and was married for 16 years.

Someday, I hope, she can be in a happy relation ship, or even get/stay happy on her own.

Moni

I worry about different things for each child. Well, they're adults now, but they still lean on us at times. And they still seem to need guidance at times.

Sometimes I worry unnecessarily though. If they run late, especially my son since he still lives with us, I worry a bit when I don't need to.

It's a mom thing!
Kathy G in MI

When you get near 80 you may find that it works the other way around.

My kids worry some about me when I'm driving a distance. I contacted them frequently via email when en route to and from Saskatchewan and Alberta last summer, and later when going to AZ and GA.

Now, they don't want me to drive to AZ in Jan to celebrate my 80th birthday.

Am I getting near second childhood, do you think?

ole joyful