Some of our retirement homes are like that but the nursing homes I have seen certainly haven't been even remotely spectacular.

Well, now that you mention it, Heather, the one where I used to sing was a pretty drab place. (It made me look downright decorative. LOL) But the one my DH was in was positively dripping with baroque "charm"--at least in the lobby and hallways. The individual rooms, not so much.

I like to see them decorated nicely. I've never seen an opulent nursing home, but the few that I have seen are very homey looking. It's depressing enough to be there, I imagine, but without some pretty common rooms it'd be downright dreary.

Gosh - the one in our town is so nice. It isn't the "fancy" you describe, but more country chic. They have nice furniture groupings in the great room that encourage visiting. They also have a large live bird display. I hate to call it a cage, because it looks more natural - more like a bird "room" that you can observe them. They also have an area that opens up into a garden in the warmer weather. The town walking path connects to it so people interact.

What I really love is the fact that they have "happy hour" a couple nights a week and the residents can sit down and have a mixed drink, wine, or beer (as long as it is medically OK) and if you are visiting, you can have one too!

Well, 5 years ago, under advice from her doctor, went into a nursing home.
It was very hospital-like, cold and (if they cleaned better) sterile.
Meals were at metal tables in an activity room, served on trays with disposable "dinneware" and utensils.

It cost $9,000.00/month. I think they charge so much in order to get more money from Medicare and Medicade.

We didn't like the level of care, and in a month, moved her into a very nicely decorated Assisted Living home that was very home-like. They didn't take Medicare or Medicade, and was half the price. She ate her meals in a dining room, with real dinnerware and tablecloths.

That sounds more like some of the funeral homes that I've seen...to the point where they are just gaudy!! The nursing home my DH was in was nice and decorated very tastefully. It was smaller than some though...50 rooms.

Sounds like an assisted living home or a private care home to me. I have been in a lot of care homes and unless they are private, non medicare/caid they are not fancy.

My husband spent most of January 2011 in a Head Injury Rehab Hospital, recovering from several seizures. The lobbies, dining room, and common rooms were like Alisande described, but the patient rooms were quite dull and drab.

My aunt spent the last 2 years of her life in an assisted living home, that also provided nursing care when she got to that point.

It was lovely--not gaudy or opulent like you describe, nor cold and sterile. It was homey, cozy, comfortably-decorated. The dining room was lovely--looked like a very very nice restaurant--there were windows on 2 sides, high wooden ceiling, comfy chairs, lovely pastel decor on the walls, attentive waitresses. In general, the staff kept the place clean, and appropriately decorated for different seasons/holidays. The residents were treated with respect and were well-attended to. The grounds were gorgeously appointed and attended to. Small pets were welcome.

Interestingly, we shopped around before chosing the place we felt was best for aunt's needs. This place was like a nice resort, BUT it was one of the most reasonably priced we looked at.

Actually, NONE of the places we visited looked as you describe. Apparently, in this area, the goal is to make the home as comfortable and home-like as possible. If you do have to choose a place for a loved one, I'd heartily recommend visiting lots of them, and be careful about getting the 'bottom line' price--some sound cheaper, until you start adding up all the 'a la carte' options you'll be needing (laundry, med distribution, bathing, etc). Some give a higher price per month, but include more services for that. It's tricky plowing through the financial stuff until you realize what you are looking for.

The NH's in my area are not fancy, but "nicely" decorated.
If a NH is"drab", people would choose other facilities over the drab one. It's all about "first impressions".

It cost $9,000.00/month. I think they charge so much in order to get more money from Medicare and Medicade.
- ... They didn't take Medicare or Medicade, and was half the price.

Reimbursement is a set dollar amount. They could charge $9,000/ DAY... Medicare nor Medicaid won't pay that NH any more than it pays a NH a mile away that charges $150/day.

The NH's who don't accept Medicare nor Medicaid reimbursement don't have the COSTS associated ... all the paper work, regulations, & extra staff, etc... that M&M require.

There are a whole lot of people who cannot afford $48,000 per year out of pocket for non-Medicare/Medicaid facilities (if you can find one that low-priced).

"Assisted Living" level of care is different from "Nursing Home (intermediate)" level of care. Apples:oranges. The latter have nursing care needs beyond your normal "activities of daily living".

If I ever need to be in a nursing home, I hope it's like Iowagirl's.

Yes, our funeral homes are gaudy, too. Perhaps it's something about this part of the state.....maybe some feel the residents of an economically depressed area would like to spend their last days surrounded by "luxury"--even if it's cheap luxury.

We chose the nursing home for my husband partly on the basis of its meals. The owner took pride in serving good food, and the place was noted for its chef. They also had locked dementia wing, which we needed.

I liked the staff, and my DH was treated well for the most part. Theft of personal items was an issue, as it is in all nursing homes, I'm told, and when another resident punched my DH I had to stop them from putting the two men in the same room "so they can work it out." (Two dementia patients working it out?) Oh, and when my husband died I asked for his belongings and was given several huge garbage bags of stuff--most of which wasn't his. That was not good. But I have no other complaints about the place. If the people are kind, and the patient is clean, those are two big pluses.

It's why I want to stay in my old farmhouse till they take me out in a box. I HATE gaudy and opulent. I like a clean "Nate Berkus" kinda look. Theft was a problem at my mother's nursing home.

You saw the visitor areas - take a tour 'behind the scenes', where the 'real' nursing home shows its true colors - not pretty colors, that's for sure!

Why does Starbucks 'Coffee' charge $$$ for 'hot ice cream'? It sells.

Nobody should buy into a retirement home without spending a lot of time in the 'end stage' care section -- and checking credentials and licensure requirements. (You would be *amazed* how little inspection is done or required by government public health, so don't count on that!)

Sue is absolutely right about inspections - almost non-existent! I did some of my nurse's training at an assigned nursing home - I lasted 3 days and couldn't do it any more. The smell and the way clients were treated was an abomination! The medicines were REALLY screwed up. I reported my observations to my instructor and the nursing home was shut down to further clients for awhile, until it corrected the required discrepancies.

Here in TX, there are occasional articles about nursing home abuses in the newspaper. Everything from patients only being bathed once a week to immobile patients being found (by visitors) covered in fire ants. My DIL worked in a nursing home for almost a year and has stated several times that she would rather jump off a tall building then end up a nursing home patient. Not very reassuring!

We have had the need, to have our adult son in nursing homes for several years. I have never found one decorated like was discribed in the op, but some of the older ones could use some updating. Older doesn't mean less clean. Most we have used, are very tasteful. Some run better than others for sure, but a nh is not a place to dump someone off, and not keep an eye on their care. I want a place with good oversight and speaking from our experience, I find Medicare/Medicaid are very good about inforcing regulations. As someone else said, M&M pay a set amount and if the charges are more than that, the family or resident makes up the difference, unless you can negotiate a lower cost. A nursing home has skilled nursing care, and assisted living does not. Most places are not the nh homes of past, because they fail inspections and they don't get paid. The records of all inspection in a M&M facility, are readily available, listing violations or concerns with the plan and date to be rectified. I have found that some of the most caring and professional caregivers, are to be found in nursing homes and hope those of you that have the need of one can find something suitable. They are there. Having said that, it is up to family to make sure it does go well. I show up unannounced at different times, day and night, and advocate for him if there are any issues. It is still people running them, and there can always be some breakdown in procedure etc, but when brought to attention should be addressed immediately.