How would you handle if your loved one were transgender?

14 years ago

ColleenOZ brought this up in the subject about if a loved one were gay, so let's take it a step further: if your loved one was transgender, how would you handle it? I think what Chaz Bono did and many before him less publically is so completely brave and admirable that I hope he is a hero to people who haven't been able to come out as a transgender person.

The steps you have to take, the psychological testing, the pain of the surgery, the ridicule that is inevitable, I find these people some of the strongest human beings I have ever encountered. I would be proud to be a part of someone's progress.

Do you agree with changing genders, or is it something you were born with and that is how it is meant to be? Birth defects happen all the time, I believe this is an, albeit major, birth defect. I don't think the right chromosones were in place at conception.

I hope no one disagrees on this, but I know many do, so please let your voice be heard here. My first posts may have been a little strong, but what I really am here for is to learn from a large and varied group what people's feeling really are. I promise I won't verbally attack, but please expect a good argument if you are up for it!

Signed, the new, softer Michelle

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Comments (21)

lazypup
14 years ago
I have a friend in Ohio who is 26yrs old and currently going through the 2nd year of the mandatory 3 year psychological adjustment and hormone therapy before he can have the actual reassignment surgery.

He/she and I were friends for about 5 years before he made the descision to undergo the procedure and we have talked about it at great length.

I have come to realize the problem is that most ppl think its a gay thing, but in truth,, nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, gays who seek the procedure for their own pleasures are not even considered as candidates.

The truth is, for a real transgender candidate as you stated, it is a genetic thing. Jimmy has been thoroughly tested and it is confirmed that he was born with the physical attributes of a man, but psysiologically and psycologically his brain is female.

All I know for certain is that Jimmy is my friend, and when he completes the procedure and comes to my door as Jasmine, she will always be welcome.
azzalea
14 years ago
Of COURSE I agree with changing genders if a person born trangendered. It's not a choice, or a whim--there's been medical evidence that shows that there's an actual, physical difference in the brains of transgendered people. It's so sad to think of anyone feeling trapped in their body, and knowing they and it don't fit.

If my child felt that way, I'd move heaven and earth to help them get things in line so they could live their lives in happiness and contentment.

Interestingly, one show I was watching on transgender people stated that there's a significant number of them who find that after the surgery, their sexual preferences undergo a change as well (before the surgery, they were attracted to women, afterwards attracted to men or vice3 versa). Not all, but it was surprising how large the percentage was--wish I could recall the exact number.
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wildchild
14 years ago
I know a couple of transgender male to females. One I met after and another mid way through the process.

It's like Azzalea said. I'd move heaven and earth to help them. It is not an easy decision even though the desire is strong. Anyone going through the process would have my support.
carla35
14 years ago
I'm just going to post that I find this question kind of boring and am not going to really answer it. Normally, I wouldn't post this but I thought you may like to get a feel and reasoning why people may not post here.

Maybe a lot of people have strong opinions on transgenders, I just don't and don't want to waste my time with a long post. This had not effected my life and will most probably never effect my life in any way.

I know I could just stroll on by but I thought you may appreciate knowing I think it's by far your most boring question... And maybe that actually tells you something...
curlysue
14 years ago
I don't know anyone who is transgender, but I think I would welcome them with open arms just like anyone else. I'm kind of one of those people, I care more about the inside than the wrapping.
curlysue
14 years ago
I got side tracked, the original post said if it was someone you loved--without a doubt, I would keep on loving them and supporting them, not a problem. When I sent the first post I thought it just meant transgenders in general
caroline1947
14 years ago
I would treat them as I would anyone else. Whether I agree or not on gay/gender change etc.it is between them and God.
sleeperblues
14 years ago
I don't think the question is boring. It is hypothetical, so anyone can answer it according to what they would do. I would love my child no matter what. I would probably feel really bad and blame myself, actually, that something I did caused the gene malfunction. That is probably not rational.
curlysue
14 years ago
I laughed at your last statement a little bit, Sleeperblues. We, as mothers, are not always rational.
User
14 years ago
I'd probably handle it the same way I would if someone were gay.

I don't particularly admire the way Chaz Bono has handled it. Chaz could have come out as a strong, respectful person. Instead he has been a whiny, talentless brat and everyone else is a 'hater'. I've seen enough shirtless pictures of him. He needs to start respecting himself. I could care less if he wants to be male or female.
User
14 years ago
My feelings are that God makes no mistakes.
heather_on
14 years ago
There are a few babies in this world that are born with ambiguous genetalia. Mostly it is easier for surgeons to make these babies into little girls when in fact their chromosomes may be male. I often wonder how these little ones made out in their later years. I would certainly accept them and probably love them even more because they are special.
des_arc_ya_ya
14 years ago
I think the key phrase in your question was "loved one". I'm sure that I would vacariously go through all the bumps and rough places in life with my family member/friend, etc. as I would if they had CP or clinical depression or cancer, or anything else.

If I love you my love is unconditional. Need new clothes? Sure what are we gonna buy now? Dress pants or a cocktail dress?
michelle_phxaz
Original Author
14 years ago
Carla, sorry to have bothered you. And you are welcome to post something that isn't as boring as this was for you, I look forward to seeing what you post next.
Jasdip
14 years ago
MEEOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!
bulldinkie
14 years ago
I wouldnt handle it well,dont agree with it..Thats my opinion..
carla35
14 years ago
michelle, come on... I only posted that comment due to your post on the other thread about homosexuals and why others aren't posting to it. I have never posted anything like that before and I wasn't trying to mean. I was really just giving you a reason why people may not be posting here.

It seems you like to stir the pot and like to post controversial issues and then like to slam people. I think you need to look at yourself a little more and quit with the sarcasm. It seems most posters here are handling your somewhat controversial posts well with the exception of you. You sure can dish it out... but you can't take it too well.

Considering I was truly trying to be nice... your last comment to me wasn't funny sarcastic, it was just mean.

ps..I find it odd how often you don't post your opinions on the questions you ask. It's almost like you are "trying" to stir the pot or start fights amoung people.
michelle_phxaz
Original Author
14 years ago
michelle, come on... I only posted that comment due to your post on the other thread about homosexuals and why others aren't posting to it. I have never posted anything like that before and I wasn't trying to mean. I was really just giving you a reason why people may not be posting here

Carla, if you had continued reading you would have seen my apology for making a bad connection.

It seems you like to stir the pot and like to post controversial issues and then like to slam people. I think you need to look at yourself a little more and quit with the sarcasm. It seems most posters here are handling your somewhat controversial posts well with the exception of you. You sure can dish it out... but you can't take it too well.

I don't post to "slam" people and I don't think I have ever been sarcastic on this forum. I think I am a pretty good person and don't need to "slam" anyone. But mostly I start my threads with knowledge from experience. And yes, I truly love to stir the pot, not in a bad way, but to bring back the days where we could post and not get feeling hurt. I post honest questions that make people think from their insides, and what is really important than what this forum has become. And I absolutely can take it as well as I give it.

Considering I was truly trying to be nice... your last comment to me wasn't funny sarcastic, it was just mean.

Carla, I wasn't trying to be mean nor sarcastic in my last post to you. I would love for other people to chime in with posts that others find interesting, I was inviting you to come up with some good, thoughtful posts, not trying to be mean at all. I am sorry if you took it that way.

ps..I find it odd how often you don't post your opinions on the questions you ask. It's almost like you are "trying" to stir the pot or start fights amoung people.

Most of my threads I do give an answer immediately, there are just times that I choose to post the question and then I will answer later.

I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, but I guess I will have to tread even more lightly. I truly am sorry, Carla, I never meant to upset you.
renee_fl
14 years ago
des arc ya ya said it best - love is unconditional.
samkaren
14 years ago
Doesn't matter to me one way or another. If it makes them happy changing....so be it.

it is unfortunate that many people who would like to go through the transformation can't afford to do so. Guess Chaz had it a little easy with being the son/daughter of celebrities.

I also find it unfortunate that many religious people (not all mind you) think of gays/lesbians/transgenders as sinners. They should also live and let live. Always willing to speak out against but who knows what dirty little secrets go on behind their own doors.

So, to those who have made the choice...GOOD FOR YOU! BE happy and to Heck with what others think.

SamKaren
your resident DJ
petaloid
14 years ago
A former schoolmate is transgender, and seems so much happier. It was kind of a long process, but worth it for her (formerly him).

How would you handle if your loved one were transgender?

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How would you handle if your loved one were transgender?

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