Once again, thanks so much to all of you who have taken the time to write . . . I so appreciate it !!! Seeking, thanks for your sympathy and idea of searching the make with +problems . . . I did plug that in, and amazingly enough, came up with OTHER problems we've already had with this dang truck !!! On some other sights, I also did find some similar things . . . And, on another entirely different note . . . . I hope your little puppy continues to recover nicely . . .poor little thing .. I was so sorry to hear that . . just an awful thing to have to go through . . . my good thoughts to puppy and you !!! dktrahan, thanks for the Dodge websites . . . I got quite a lot of useful stuff from them . . . I was on the computer last evening . . . late . . so much so, that my poor eyes are tired tired tired today . . . but I am so determined to get to the root of all of this . . . Sue, not to worry . . . but the husband factor in all of this is really trying . . . too much to go into, but basically it's not helping this situation . . .at all !! He's blaming me and DS for even buying a Dodge product to begin with . . . So, wanted to make it clear that my son is being a total champ through all of this . . . Nina, I think that will be the next step . . . to take it back to the original dealer and tell them to just keep it until they get it figured out . . . and IF they can't figure it out, then somehow, I'm going to try to make them responsible for selling us this truck to begin with !! Someone has to take responsibility for this, and to "eat" the loss . . . Don't think it should be us . . . Supposedly the truck was certified, and I'm thinking that's worthless !!! I feel that we're kind of between a rock and a hard place . . . I'm too honest to not disclose problems with the truck if it comes to trading it in . . I certainly don't want anyone else to have to go through this . . . but we just can't afford to have 18K go down the drain, either . . . We don't want another Dodge product, but I'm wondering if we would have more leverage with the selling dealership if we did go with a new Dodge, then get rid of it at another time . . . Oh heck . .. I have such neck strain, headaches and eyes aches through all of this . . . . . Oh, and re: the computer reprogramming . . . I talked with our friend yesterday who originally diagnosed the problem as needing to reprogram the computer . . . He COULD NOT believe that Dodge wouldn't do that . . . could not believe that Dodge said they wouldn't take responsibliy for anything that might go wrong because of the re-programming . . . I asked if he would mind if I had the Dodge guy call him and they could hash it over . . (they are acquaintances, having worked together years ago) He he didn't mind at all . . . called the Dodge guy, he told me WHY he didn't want to re-program it, saying he had to answer to Dodge as to why it was re-programmed when they couldn't get the problem to duplicate . . . said that even if they did re-program it, that that might not be the problem, which I can understand. I told him plain and simple though, that the truck, to us, is not safe to drive. Oh, and another thing . . .in an e-mail from our service adviser yesterday, he said that assuming there is a problem, that it WILL get worse, to the point of engine failure, and THEN we can bring it back and they'll know what to do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, so digressing a bit . . . back to the main service guy . . . he suggested that they could just keep it and he'd have his techs drive it home at night to try to duplicate the situation . . also saying that his techs were more experienced drivers than my son, and if anything should go wrong on the freeway, that they'd know more how to handle it . . . Now, all of this just does not leave me with warm fuzzy feelings !!!!!!!!!!!! Bill, thanks for the clogged catalytic converter tip. I e-mailed that suggestion, along with a list of other things that I gleaned from some of the Dodge forums. The catalytic problem sounds so much like what's going on with the truck . . . I'm so wondering just exactly what they've done to check into all of this . . . whether it's just driving the truck to try to duplicate the situation, or really getting into it. My friend that has his own shop told me that dealers really don't like working on warranty work . . . at all !! and sometimes do just what they have to to get it out the door. He did highly recommend this dealership, but for the life of me, and maybe I'm just naive . .. but I can't figure out why THEY can't figure out what's going on !!!!! Well, that's the update for today . . . so far anyway . . . Again, I so appreciate all of your posts, suggestions, and sympathy !!!!! Chris

Thanks for the link TOS, it gives some interesting background. But I want to know the mechanisms involved... It seems strange to me that asthma is an inflammation response in the respiratory system, and Motrin (which is an ibuprofen) is an anti-inflammatory agent, but it could trigger asthma So I went PubMed-ing... It was tough to find what I was looking for, and the first thing I learned might be of interest to many of us: anti-inflammatories (like Motrin) can increase the risk of Staph infections from chicken-pox and are not recommended for pain relief during chicken-pox... Anyhow on to asthma and Motrin... I found a study where 2% of children with mild to moderate asthma had increased bronchospasms from exposure to ibuprofen but they didn't talk about why... But then I found another that found that ibuprofen was actually less of an asthma irritant than acetominophen and may actually have uses as an asthma suppressant... Again, no mention of molecular mechanism. And so it carried, back and forth on until I found what I was looking for... Anti-inflammatories can cause a decrease in antioxidant levels, particularly in the respiratory and digestive systems. Certain asthmas can be exacerbated by decreases in respiratory antioxidant levels. So what happens is: The Motrin sends a signal to the cells in the lungs to produce fewer antioxidants. In a healthy person, this doesn't matter very much. In an asthmatic, this can trigger an asthma attack and cause inflammation and bronchospasms. So, it can worsen asthma in asthmatics or cause mild asthma symptoms in people who are not otherwise asthmatic. Neato.

Point taken, wrychoice, this one does hit home and I'm having a bad day. I think what gets my dander up about hopper2008's posts is what other people have cited (the apparent arrogance and the striking need to prove herself superior, esp. to the former wife & kids), but perhaps I'm taking it more personally because of my situation. The only other thing I really reacted to that other people hadn't already mentioned as irritating is the projection factor. That is, hopper2008 making it out like SD is the one being childish, unreasonable, immature, insecure and manipulative about this situation. Which may very well be the case, but if hopper2008 isn't in some way, at some level, tugging the other end of the rope, then it's a non-issue. If it's a non-issue, then Hopper2008 would simply make sure her husband knows it's okay for him to go to his daughter's wedding without her (and doesn't stand on any principle or misplaced idealism about unity, loyalty or whatever and create a very difficult situation for DH and SD on her wedding day b/c she can't face the reality that she and SD simply don't get along and pushes it at the wrong time & circumstance.) I guess I reacted especially much to the projection aspect because my Dad's wife plays that game of telling herself & other people similar things (i.e. "whatever HE wants to do"; "HE's choosing to do such-and-such"). It's crap, don't buy it if you ever hear this sort of thing. No parent except the lowest form would EVER so quickly and unequivocably "choose", "freely", to leave their kid in the lurch, even if said kid was being a brat. These husband/fathers DO NOT WANT TO TURN THEIR BACKS ON THEIR CHILDREN and they DO NOT do so easily. I mean, unless they are scum, in which case I'd have to ask why anyone would want to be with scum like that. These men (or women, when it's women in these situations) may seem like they are "choosing", but they are BACKED AGAINST THE FRIGGIN' WALL and make these apparent "free choices" under tremendous duress of one sort or the other. For example, I know this because my Dad got me a plane ticket to visit him behind my SM's back (via money order) and always calls me when she isn't around; he called NINE TIMES on and around X-mas ---when she was out--- because he felt so guilty about telling me I couldn't come. Because it wasn't what HE wanted. I know for a fact that SM was telling people "he decided" to not have me there, b/c he was so "disappointed" in me, or whatever the H3LL.... Meanwhile, these "independent decisions" of his always seem to benefit SM, for example HER sister and brother-in-law were there at Christmas in my place, and she got some home improvements done (FOR her not BY her, to be sure). My SM isn't fooling anybody! (Well, I can't say that.... she's not fooling ME and several others ---including my Dad--- but maybe she's fooling somebody somewhere.) In this kind of scenario, if a parent seems to be making a choice to turn their back on their child ---especially on a really important or significant occasion like a wedding that they would otherwise never want to miss--- and their spouse is acting all "my dog ain't in that fight", or more obviously, even GLOATING about the parent's "choice": look closer, ask some more questions. Barring possible reasons such as the most scummy good-for-nothing parent or child on the planet, in most average situations with average people with average issues and flaws, there is more going on than meets the eye. It's more than one person tugging the rope. One way or another, the spouse is also manipulating the situation, or at the very least, is getting a big payoff (emotional, financial, circumstantial, etc.) from just "sitting back" and 'watching" the fight. Saying things in plain English (i.e. "don't go to your daughter's wedding without me or I will be very upset and might divorce you") is only one possible method of getting one's point across. Other methods include: -The Silent Treatment -Sexual Freeze-Out -Generally Being a Stone-Cold B***h Until He Changes the Situation to Your Way -Acting all Hurt and Crying ("Why Doesn't SD Love Me?!?!") to Play the Victim -"Forgetting" to Do Something You Promised (such as get groceries to have food in the house) So He Gets the Hint You're Not Pleased About X situation -"Forgetting" to Give Him His Prescription Medications That You've Made him Dependent On You For So He Gets the Hint... (a favorite tactic of my SM's; actually all of these are) ...and there's probably myriad other sick, twisted ways of controlling a situation that aren't even occuring to me because I'm just not that perverse. (Would have to get in that Stephen King "Misery" headspace to comprehend it more thoroughly.) Admittedly I have some bitterness about my personal stepfamily dynamics (on one side of the family anyways), but apart from any offense it gives anyone, I hope that at least hopper2008 and perhaps anyone else who feels they relate to her will perceive in my words the effect that her apparent attitude may inspire in an SD in that kind of situation. And to just be careful, as kkny said, about the hubris factor. It's humbling to hear it, but hopefully it puts things in perspective b/c it's never a good idea to go around thinking of oneself as being perpetually in a catbird seat. Not with the way our society and relations between men and women tend to go. Plus I think it's good 'tactical' advice, to be kind of Sun Tzu about it: a strategic choice to 'lose the battle' (over being at the wedding) in order to 'win the war', or at least *appear* the bigger person and pre-empt any feeling DH might develop about being on a leash and starting to resent it. (Men tend to wriggle out of a leash millimeter by millimeter... you don't see it coming, and then poof! They're gone! Or even worse, they stay...) This particular advice isn't meant to be about pleasing the man, or the SD, but covering your own behind and not thinking you're invincible or always going to win.... or even always going to be around! So picture the points I made in my last post but with a bit less 'edge'... and hopefully it's illuminating.

Ditto DLM. Even my adult children agrees that our generation had the best music. Real songs, real bands, real voices. Songs with meaning. Lynn, my mom worked at a radio station when I was in high school and she got me two front row seats to the Temptations concert at Tulsas Civic Center. They were all in white and I fell in love with all of them. I also got to see The Shirelles & when they started singing Soldier Boy the whole audience fell silent. In case you young 'uns have never heard the song, take a listen. Years ago DH & I were watching Johnny Carson when Diana Ross came on. Very pregnant. It's a long interview so FF to 8:52. DH and I were blown away. Click here, YouTube isn't allowing a link to the video on GW