I am so sorry. Sending prayers.

I'm sad for you and your family Vikki. It good Alan has a caring, loving family to care for him.

Gosh, that's so sad. We are praying for you all.

I am a hospice social worker and I would recommend getting him signed on with a hospice. One thing I see a lot are families struggling to take care of someone at home and they get really worn out and burned out and agonize over a decision to put the patient somewhere else. Everyone is different and can handle different levels of caregiving--no shame in that at all. There are also alternatives to nursing homes in most places. Where we live there are adult foster homes, regular families that have extra rooms that they rent out and provide caregivers along with hospice and there are also hospice homes where people can stay. Also, most people think that they have to wait until the very end until they call hospice but that is a mistake. We can help immediately and stay until the end. I hope this helps.

Hospice here helps with in-home care...I thought all did.
We had an aide in the morning to get the day started and a nurse came to the house as often as needed. All medications and supplies were delivered by courier from the hospital to my front door.

Same thing as above for my BIL, who needed more medical care than DH...all was done at home..equipment, etc

Hospice here encourages home care.

That is so sad. I'm sorry for your family. Continued prayers coming your way.

Vikki...I'm so sorry...I know it must be breaking all your hearts to know he has to go through this ...and the thought of loosing him must be horrible...
I'll keep him and all your family in my prayers.

patti

This is heart breaking. I'm so sorry.

I highly recomend Hospice. I had it for my Mom. They were so good. If I had concerns in the middle of the night all I had to do was call and the nurse would call me back and either help me over the phone or she would come right out no matter what the time was. They also had volunteers that would come and sit with my Mom so I could get out to do errands or just have some time to myself. When my Dad passed away in the nursing home in less than a half an hour they had some on there to sit with Mom so my brother and I could go to the nursing home. When my Mom passed away they provided child care for the 4 babies in the family so the parents did have to take them to the funeral. As you can tell I can't give enough praise about Hospice.
Will be praying for your family.
Kittywhiskers

I am so sorry.

My heart aches for all of you.

Keeping Alan & Family in my prayers.

Donna (^_^)

That is so sad. I am so sorry.
Clare

I was so hoping for better news today about Alan. I'm sorry and will keep him and all of you in my prayers.

BTW, Alan is one of my favorite names - it's my DS's middle name.

How very sad. Alan and his family are going to need lots of support now. I will keep them all in my prayers; Vikki please know that we will always be here for you too. When you need a helping hand let us know...

Susan

I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep him and his family in my prayers.

Linda

Special thoughts for Alan and all that love him!

I am so very sorry to hear this. Alan is just to young to have this happen. I'll continue to pray for him and the family.

Deb

So heartbreaking, Vikki. It's like Alan never had a chance in this life..nothing right about it. :(

Hospice care, in home, and otherwise is such a blessing for the patient and the caregivers. I don't know what we would've done without them helping Mother and Summer, who was caring for our Mama.

Comforting hugs (((((Vikki and Family)))))

I'm so sorry for you all. Will keep sending my prayers to you all. I hope he'll be able to stay at home.

This news just breaks my heart. I can't even imagine how it is affecting the family. I hope if at all possible they can honor his wishes to be home and with his girlfriend and family.

Hugs,
Trin

Vicki I am so sorry to hear this sad news.
i will keep praying for the strength you and your family will need in the comming months.
Hugs...Eliza Ann

I am so, so sorry Vikki. What a difficult time your family is having. Wish I could come and give you a big hug.

Jodi-

My heart reaches out to all of you Vikki. I've been following your updates on Alan. I don't know any one that hasn't been touched by cancer in some way and I wish that were different. May you all find strength, courage and hope to enjoy the moments that you can with Alan, comfort each other and know we are here for you.
God bless,
Peggy

Sometimes the realness of a KT post overwhelms me and this is one of those times. I am so sorry.

Leslie/KS

I was so hoping for better news this morning. My heart goes out to your whole family.

I am so sad to hear this news. Alan, you, and all of his family will continue to be in my prayers.

Oh this is such sad news. I am very sorry you and your family have to go thru this. Find strength and comfort in the prayers coming your way. (((Hugs))) as you take things moment by moment.

So very sad

I am so sorry. Hugs and prayers.

I am so sorry to read this. Sending prayers for Alan and all your family.

This is so sad. Monica said it best tho. I hope he gets to stay at home.

I am so sorry. I will continue to keep Alan, his family and friends in my prayers.

I am so sorry.

Donna

Oh thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers. My sister siad they now have a social worker who is setting up hospice and arranging for a bed to be brought to their home for him, and some home care. His girlfriend will be moving in asap to help. Right now he is refusing to see anyone but her. My neices went there yesterday and they didn't get to see him. Everyone understands though why he doesn't want visitors right now. It's so hard on everyone that wants to help, but it has to settle in with Alan first, if that's possible. I know how helpful hospice is, my neighbor had it a year ago when she was passing away from cancer. I don't think their family could have gotten throuh it without them. They are wonderful! Again I thank you all for your prayers....I too am waiting for a mirlcle, but the doctors have said treatment might give him 3 more months, but if it's not 3 months of quality living he doesn't want it. I hate it but I understand him.

Having gone through this with my 30yr old son, my heart aches when I hear of another family dealing with this horrible disease. My son did not want to be in a hospital either and the Hospice here was incredible, although we did not need them until the last 10 days. One thing we found was that we had to let my son take this journey in his own way. He did not want fuss and he did not want to talk about it more than occasionally. He just wanted to live as close to normal as possible and continue to do as much as he possibly could. We all learned and grew from this time and the kindness and love from other people was amazing. As Bigbaby said, caring in the home can be exhausting although very rewarding but not for everyone and can be dependant on the medical issues and stages. As you know, Alan is not his disease - he is a loved and loving young man with some life left to live yet. As a family, you can surround him and each other with love and walk beside him until it is time for him to fly off to his new life. (((Alan, Vikki and family). Beth

My heart is breaking for Alan and your whole family. I hope hospice can help your family through this difficult time. Don't forget all of your KT friends are here for you anytime you need us.

Linda

Wow only 3 extra months with treatment. Thats pretty grim. Lets hope they are wrong. So sorry to hear about this in the prime of his life.

Vikki, if I could wrap my arms around you, I would. We went through this heartbreak with my sister. They do need the time to accept it as best they can.
Just don't leave anything unsaid where no regrets later. We talked about old times and laughed together as there was no future to discuss. The time they give you of 6 months is only a guess. Take each second not minute to love. When he's ready to talk, he will but let him be the one to bring it up. Seeing the look on my sister's face when people asked, "how are you doing", made me really think. How do we think they're doing? They will not get to achieve goals or go after dreams as not enough time. If any way to deter that question, I would.
It's hard to go on as normal as possible but it does help keep minds off that horrid disease. I pray for strength for your sister and her family and for you too. One step at a time, as sometimes it's hard to see through the tears. If there's something he's really wanted to do and is strong enough, do it. Even if having a special kind of puppy. It's natural to have hope and we never lost that for my sister.
Just reach out your hand, sweetie. There will always be someone to take it.
Lynn

I'm too overcome with sadness right now to say more than Alan, you & your family are in my prayers...

Suzi

I'm very sorry to hear this, and I'll continue to pray for this family. And not only them, but you too, as I can tell how much Alan means to you. My dad had nephews who were older than he was, by a few months, and there's also quite an age spread among my own children; my youngest ones have grown up together with a nephew. So I'm very familiar with this and how close the kids are.

God bless you all and give you His extraordinary grace.

Vikki, I am so very sorry about Alan. My prayers are with all of you.

Sheryl

Sending prayers and good thoughts to all of your family.

This makes me so so sad. I was really hoping the news would be better.

I have no words other than I'm so sorry. Life just doesn't make sense sometimes.

This is just so sad.. life is so hard to understand sometimes. This made me think. Why is it that it seem some people are more prone to get this horrible disease than others? It makes you wonder, ya know? Some people go their whole lives with no cancer.. yet, some... get it over and over again. And Alan, being 24.. ??

I feel sooooo bad for him and you.. and all of your family right now. I cannot imagine how he feels.

I'm sending lots and lots of prayers and hugs. You have all been on my mind constantly.

After hearing how much help the Hospice was for so many people in the posts above, I'm seriously considering calling the Hospice where I live to see about volunteering. I think it's time for me to give back, ya know? I haven't needed medical help, but I've been blessed to be the recipient of alot of other help.. and it's time to return it.

Please take care and keep us all informed, k?

What heartbreaking news. I am so sorry. Please encourage the family to get Hospice care for him and themselves as others have suggested.

Please include me in the group praying for this family.

Oh Vikki. I so badly didn't want to open this post because I was scared of what you would say. I understand competely and I know your heart aches!!! This brings back what Steve and my DD went through. Also my Uncle Gene right now, different place but same damn cancer!

Monica is right. DD wouldn't change a thing from the begining of when she met Steve to being by his side and saying good-bye almost 3 years later. Its so hard for the caregivers but they do it out of the love and respect they have for the patient.

I will keep you close to my heart and in my thoughts. I wish I could do more.

(((Vikki and Alan and families)))

Sending best thoughts that his remaining time is filled with love and peace.

So sorry that you family and Alan have to go through this.

Those who choose to work as hospice aides have a special place in my heart. They are angels on earth.

Vikki, Alan, you, and the rest of your family continue to be in my prayers. I have not had internet for several days, but have continued my prayers. Alan is the same age as our DD.

Tami