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The Kitchen Table

My nephew just passed away

17 years ago

Alan finally lost his battle...about 45 minutes ago. He was begging to pass away they said for the last few weeks. He was in such pain...this is really a blessing, he's out of pain. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers over the last few months.

Sad day all around today....wow, what a day with Farrah and Michael Jackson too.

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Comments (81)

sheilajoyce_gw
17 years ago
So sad to lose someone so young.
Maura63
17 years ago
As frequent it is to come upon such news, it never gets any easier to hear -- my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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20 years old, my mom just passed away
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Comments (6)
Payton, I'm very sorry for your loss. I can relate to what you are going through. I just lost my mom on January 1st of this year. She was a young 50 years old, and suffered a horrible painful death due to Scleroderma and Pulmonary Hypertension. Basically, she couldn't breathe anymore, and her lungs and heart failed her. I just turned 23 years old a few weeks ago. Life sure does seem unfair doesn't it? We are so young to have to endure this kind of pain and emptiness. The only thing that gets me through it is having faith in God and the love of family and friends around me. No matter how alone you feel, you are NEVER completely alone. There is always someone else out there going through a similar situation as you too. Unfortunately death is a part of life that we all must learn to deal with. My mom was my best friend, and sadly I realized just how much she means to me after she was already gone. I wish I could have told her that she was the best mom in the entire world and that I am a good person because of her. I would consider myself to have been a good daughter, but there is so much more I wish I would have done. I took for granted that she would always be there for me, and that she would never dieat least not for another 20 or 30 years. God had other plans though. You and I both need to realize that no matter how much we did, we never would have felt like it was enough. I guess it's hard to repay the person who gave you life and loved you unconditionally like no one else could. This journey of grief you face has only just begun, as has mine. However, I choose to believe people when they say it will get easier. Not a day goes by that I won't think about my mom or miss her deeply, as I'm sure this is the same for you, but with time maybe we can learn to cope with their passing. I think losing one's mother is possibly the hardest thing to go through, so if we make it through this then there is nothing we can't handle. When I feel really sad sometimes, I try to remember how my mom would want me to be. She wouldn't want me to stop living my life and be depressed during the days I have left. She would want me to make her proud and be a good person, and that's what I'm going to try to do. Treasure the memories you have with your mom, and never forget how much she loved you. She knows you loved her too, and wouldn't want you to feel any guilt. One thing we can be thankful for is that our moms' arenÂt suffering any longer, and they now have the most beautiful heavenly bodies. My mom couldn't handle anymore physical pain, and I'm grateful she doesn't have to be trapped inside that failing body anymore. I selfishly want her here with me of course, but she was too good of a person to endure so much pain. Remember, someday soon we will join our moms' again, and be reunited with big hugs from them! Try to make her proud everyday, and remember it's okay to cry too. We will always miss them, but death isn't the end. It's just a temporary separation until we join them again on the other side. Take care and remember you are not alone. You will get through this and always keep your mom's memory in your heart. She may be gone, but her love for you will never die. I wish you well, Lisa
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Last night my mother passed away
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Rebekkah, I'm so sorry. I hope you will read some of the posts on this forum, including old ones. You will see that you are most definitely not alone. Your mother was young, but not everyone lives to an old age. Many of us lost parents when we were quite young. I was nine when my mother died. I remember thinking similar thoughts to yours: I wanted to take back some of the things I said to her. I can tell you this, though. Not being about to take back things said in anger made me very cautious about what I said to people after that. After the age of nine, I never said anything in anger that I regretted afterward. I'm particularly sorry that you had to witness the medical efforts to save her. If these images persist in your mind, please see a therapist, someone experienced in helping those who grieve and particularly those who have experienced trauma at the same time. Re fairness, try to remember that life is neither fair nor unfair. It just is. When you think about what goes on in the world, it's easier to accept that statement. This was nothing you could have prevented. It's absolutely not your fault. Please try to live as your mother would want. She will guide you for the rest of your life. What would Mom want me to do? is a question you should ask yourself often. At some point you should read Motherless Daughters and Letters From Motherless Daughters. Good books. Finally, keep your heart and mind open to possible signs from your mother. They may or may not come, but if they do you'll want to recognize them. And some night she may come to you in a dream. Keep us posted, Rebekkah. Susan
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My mom has passed away.
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I'm sorry mimi, it's always hard to give up our parents but it's comforting to know that they have gone to heaven if you believe I hope you are at peace with her passing...I know we never want any suffering for our loved ones....
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My stepfather just passed away.
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Comments (48)
Cremation is permitted in the church but its not a common practice and actually it is frawned upon. In greece the bodies were never embalmed. You are right about that being a dessicration but canadian law will not permit a person to be buried without embalment. Therefore we have no choice in that manner. And family will not cremate. Its an insult to be burnt. In greece they do not embalm. The body is washed and many many flowers are place inthe coffin above the coffin around the coffin to mask the smell of decay. The body is buried the same day within hours for obvious reasons. And depending if you are part of the 'old' calendar or 'new' calendar, cremation will not be performed unless its specifically asked for and you attain permission from the priest of the church. As for cremation i do personally find it insulting and disgusting BUt this is because i was raised in having burials as open caskets. But my husbands family cremates. And after seeing a few funeral i've become acustom to it and actually find it less tense than a greek funeral. I'm sure when my husband finally participates in a greek orthodox funeral he will be disgusted himself and shocked. There is nothign wrong in stating that something disgusts you. Lol..the fact is that you still have to respect someones wishes. If they want to be cremated . that is their wish. If they want a closed casket and buried this is their wish. That is all I do not have to be educated. I am educated with 2 degrees in biology and work for cancer research. I worked with many cultures and many beliefs that i do not agree but i wont bash someoen about. If you think i came across liek this then its disappointing but its your views. THese SD wanting for their stepdad to be buried. Not cremated. He didn't state otherwise and since his family has estranged him and considering these girls were dishign out the cash as well i think they are entitled to bury their loved one the way they see fit. They just feel threatened and disgusted why their stepdad's brothers who wanted nothing to do with him while he was living would have the balls to ask for a death report. Andif it was for genetice purposes than they should state it but its reason is obvious and its for money. AND THAT IS DISGUSTING! DISRESPECTFUL.
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intherain
17 years ago
I'm sorry to hear about Alan. (((hugs)))

Sheryl
nodakgal
17 years ago
I am so sorry Vikki.
You never want them to suffer, but I know its so hard to let them go.
Thinking of Alan and his family.
mrsmarv
17 years ago
I am sorry for your loss. May you have wonderful, warm, and uplifting memories of your nephew, Alan.
kacram
17 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss... prayers for your family

Prayers for his young wife and his family...
gingertn
17 years ago
Bless him. I'll keep your family in my thoughts.
Nita__AZ
17 years ago
So sorry for your loss. My condolences to his wife and family.
donna_oh
17 years ago
May he rest in peace now.

My Deepest Sympathies to all of you.

Donna (^_^)
patti43
17 years ago
I'm so sorry, Gwanny2three.
bulldinkie
17 years ago
sorry to hear this for you but..he got his wish..
jemdandy
17 years ago
We all know this is a trying time for you, and we can not know your sorrow as you feel it, but we are with you just the same. Hang in there; take it one day at a time; remember: This, too, shall pass.
gramzeeinmd
17 years ago
My Deepest Sympathy.
Deb
wildchild
17 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy to you and his loved ones.
momrox4
17 years ago
My deepest condolences to you and your family. I pray that you find peace and comfort.
caroline94535
17 years ago
I am so sorry to hear this news. My prayers go out to your entire family.

Alan recently married his long-time love, didn't he? Please let her know that she is in my prayers, too.
sjerin
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for you and all the family, but glad to know he is over the pain and in a very good place now.
jannie
17 years ago
Death always comes in threes. Please accept my sympathy and prayers.
lindyluwho
17 years ago
I'm so sorry. At least the pain is gone. He suffered so long.

Linda
clubm
17 years ago
So sorry for your loss.
Mystical Manns
17 years ago
What a long and tragic road your nephew travelled, Gwanny. Sending prayers of comfort for all of you who loved him. He is at peace now.
trinitytx
17 years ago
You were such a good trooper for him, bless you both. I am so sorry that he lost his battle.

Trin
gneegirl
17 years ago
Such a sad but blessed time. As others have said, Alan suffers no more. My thoughts and prayers include you and your family.

gneegirl
loggerbaby123
17 years ago
my condolences to you and your family. i read your posts, that he was in pain, again im so very sorry.
vannie
17 years ago
I am so sorry for you loss. I know y'all will have a lot of good memories. God bless you all.
frazoo
17 years ago
I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Leslie/KS
helencolby
17 years ago
I am so sorry for your family's loss. Prayers for you and the family.

Helen
kayjones
17 years ago
I am sorry that Alan had to go through this terrible time - please accept my sympathies.
gwanny2three
Original Author
17 years ago
Thank you everyone...he was in alot of pain and it was a blessing that he passed. We all know that he is pain free now and in a good place. It is comforting to know this. He was concerned last night that his truck, that he left his sister was running ok and that their dune buggy they loved to ride together was running too. It's like he was making a check list of things he was worried about. He'll be missed for sure. And yes he did get married on Valentine's Day of this year. His wife never left his side.....very devoted to take care of him till the end.
minnie_tx
17 years ago
So sorry to hear this and blessings on the family. He is surrounded by Love right now.
carol_in_california
17 years ago
I am so sorry to hear of Alan's death. He fought a good fight and now has found peace.
I don't care how many times you say that and how, in your heart, you know he is better off, the pain of losing him is beyond belief.....but then the sadness starts to fade a little and the happy memories take the forefront. May you all heal in your own way and your own time.
And I am sorry he died the same day two celebs did.....all the hoopla MJ and FF receive now and in the years to come just seem to make your loss worse.
I will be keeping you and your family and Alan's family in my thoughts and prayers.
country_bumpkin_al
17 years ago
I am so sorry! Even though we think we're prepared for this, I don't think we are ever FULLY prepared. May all of you find comfort in the memories you have of him!
rthummer
17 years ago
My deepest sympathies - Prayers going up for you and your family.
catlady15
17 years ago
Sorry I am so late.I wanted to let you know I care too.
tralynn
17 years ago
So sorry to hear of Alan's passing. He sure had a long hard fight. His wife must be a real sweetie. Not many could do what she did. May you have good memories to get you through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.
Granlan_TX
17 years ago
No one should have to suffer so much...just wrong. :(

I hope the family can find some comfort and peace knowing Alan is no longer in pain.

My condolences.
margad
17 years ago
So sorry to hear this but he is in a better place.
dotmom
17 years ago
Gwanny 2: Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your Nephew, Alan. Like you said, he is now free of pain. I hope you and your whole family can find peace and comfort in your memories of him in happier and healthier days. (((((Hugs)))))Dottie
millburn_nj_po_mom
17 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss, but he is not in pain anymore (that is what helps me get through the loss of my husband).

Sheryl - NJ
vicki_lv
17 years ago
My deepest condolences. He is truly in a better place if he was in such pain. That is so very hard to watch.
FlamingO in AR
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, and my condolences to the whole family. How sad.
Jodi_SoCal
17 years ago
Vicki, I am truly sorry that Alan had to endure so much, for so long, so early, in a life not yet lived to its full potential. My thoughts are with you and the family. Peace to you all.

Jodi-
missmaggierock
17 years ago
Your family will be in my prayers!
User
17 years ago
My condolences to your family.
Kathsgrdn
17 years ago
I'm so sorry. Sending prayers for your family. I'm glad he isn't suffering anymore.
okwriter
17 years ago
I'm so sad to hear this news. I know he fought a good fight. Rest in peace, young man.

Rita
JoanMN
17 years ago
I'm so sorry, Vikki.
JoanMN
ritamay91710
17 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear about your dear nephew., but glad that he is not in any more pain.
Rita
tami_ohio
17 years ago
Vikki, I am so sorry. Please know that you and your family have my sympathy and prayers.

Tami
luckygardnr
17 years ago
Heartfelt condolences to your entire family.

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