Thank you all-- I am researching what everyone has mentioned to see if anything "fits." Carol, I will keep in mind what your friend went through, in case it progresses. We saw a neuro at a nationally famous children's hospital. She does NOT think they are migraines, as the symptoms don't fit, and the typical migraine treatment doesn't work for DD. She thinks the pain is very real but that they are stress-related. :( Hard to say. We are going to be keeping a journal to try to figure out why some days are better than others. However, her treatment is to lie down in quiet for 30 minutes (along with meds/water) and DD is now avoiding complaining because she does not want to lie down. I can see on her face and in her behavior when she is in more pain, even when she does not talk about it. It's still a mystery at this point. I am thinking of alternative medicine next-- maybe acupuncture, and other stress management sources. I am just still worried they are missing something. I know of too many cases where the person was not given a correct dx.

Silver Quite interesting reading. I have thought about EX and how he must feel about DD, or any woman that has been in his life. I do understand the conceptual thinking behind the term "limerance". I had a man that I felt that way about once. I never told him, figuring that if he felt anything for me he would approach me. There were a few mixed signals, I thought but he never made an attempt that was something that I knew for sure showed he was interested in me. He had enough chances to do that and he didn't. He thought of me as a friend or sister I guess. Or he would have gone for a little "roll in the hay" if I would have. He even introduced me to a girlfriend that he began dating and ended up getting her pregnant and they later married. Ouch! With EX's past ( if what he has said is true ) he undoubtedly has great fear of rejection. Again, if what he says is true, he wanted my DD to stay with him, build a future with him and he wanted a family with us. There are too many things though that are negatives to the success of their relationship that he is completely out of touch with which makes me think that he has a break with normal thought processes. This is evident with other actions...his extensive lying and his criminal behavior. My DD did not want to marry or have children ( my goodness, she is only 20 ) and he did. Very much in fact. I don't know that she will ever change her mind but he had said that he would rather have had her and no kids than to not have her at all. I don't know that it would have been something he could have easily lived with though. The age difference is something that was too vast....11 years...when dealing with her age group. Had they met when she was in her 30's or 40's or older then it would not have been as big a deal. I am sorry for him when it comes to honest, heartfelt feelings that he might have had for my DD. The fact that he could install such fear ( and continues to do so ) and the fact that he has told so many lies negates all of that though. It sucks to be rejected. Our family histories have a lot to do with whether or not we can process the rejection in a healthy way. Most of us have been and some of us have stepped over a line while dealing with it that we cringe at after having healed a bit. It is important to teach our kids that when they deal with peers or a romantic interest people have a right to reject them. In the long run it is for the best. I don't know how much EX has control over when it comes to his emotions about the breakup. I am sorry that I can't talk to him. It just can't happen. I want him to get help and to go onto have a happy life. More importantly though I want him to leave my DD alone and let her move on. Thanks for the thread and the link Silversword.

Wow, you all are so sweet! I feel like some ridiculous charity case... :-/ DH brought home his laptop and air card tonight so I could at least check my email. Missed some important reno-related messages. And I missed GW!! Little DD is starting to settle in today, and 6 y.o. DS is loving getting to watch cartoons for 3 hours a day while I deal with reno issues, trades and phone calls. Without going into too much detail, moving day had many hiccups. I still can't find most of what I need on a daily basis to feed the kids and get them dressed. Who would have thought that I needed to ask that boxes marked in big letters "KITCHEN" actually make it somewhere into the vicinity of the kitchen. A whole room full of boxes, floor to ceiling and wall to wall, makes it hard to find things. After getting in the house, I'm overwhelmed with all the things not done. We were just trying to get out of the house we were staying in regardless of the state of our house. I wish I had been able to manage window shades and closet organization before we moved in, but those are minor comparatively. Day by day progress: Monday: -DW and cleanup sink plumbed -Cleaning the temporary house -Cleaning our house -Have heat pump serviced so we can heat the house -Wait for final inspection Tuesday: -Marble installers worked for several hours on fixing several issues -Wait for pantry door install -Applied first marble seal coat -Clean our house -Wait for final inspection Wednesday: -Applied second marble seal coat -Pantry door installed -other small carpentry jobs done -clean our house -exterior door handles on finally!! it's cold here and blue tape covering handle holes is a bit drafty -Final inspection (failed) -Gas rangetop and fireplace plumbed Still to do: -correct wood floor finishing problems -rangetop put back together so I can cook! -pantry shelves so I have some place to put my food -correct several mis-wirings of switches so lights work -find all my kitchen gear! -closets put together so clothes and toys can be unpacked -INTERNET ACCESS -final paint coat on every room, some need first coat too -washer and dryer installed back in laundry room Somehow, the more luxury issues like pretty light fixtures and counter stools have faded into the background! DH says he's taking next week off so maybe the computer and internet will get hooked up and I can post some pics. Thank you all for the wonderful thoughts and support. I'm both embarassed and humbly grateful. And a special thank you to Kellie for her support. :)

There should never be decisions like this on the Earth. Please let there be a miracle for this family and please let us see a cancer cure soon.