Help me pick a wedding gift for NIL

18 years ago

My nephew, the one that lived with me for several years, has married.

I have a gift for him, and a cash gift for them, but I need something personal for his bride. These kids have the cards so stacked against them, in every way possible. Still, I'm going to hope for the best, wish them well, and offer all the sage advice and suggestions they can bear to listen too. LOL

Chris' birthstone is pearl; Jacki's is sapphire. I want to get her either earrings, a pendant, or a small ring with these stones.

I want a "nice" piece of jewelry, but I can't spend a fortune, either. I'm sending them a hefty gift card for their "real" gift.

Thanks for your vote and listening to my concerns over these young folks!

Here's the link to the photos of the pieces I'm considering for her.

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v654/Caroline94535/Wedding%20Gift%20Ideas/

Here is a link that might be useful: Jewelry choices

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Comments (13)

jayokie
18 years ago
can't log in without a password. Do you know her well enough to give her a nice piece of jewlery? You've said you're giving them a 'hefty' gift...I assume that means money...would it be wiser to wait til you know her better for the jewelry gift? Remember, you said the cards are stacked against them. If they separate, will you regret giving her a nice jewelry gift? just some thoughts.
caroline94535
Original Author
18 years ago
Photobucket always dissappoints me. Let me try to open it!
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I also read this post with great interest.. not sure why LOL as I don't have children and am not all that keen on getting married myself (though not opposed to it in theory LOL). I agree with Barb that there is or should be no expectation for guests to cover the costs of their plate. At the same time I agree with mitchdesj that it is a good guideline for those of us who struggle with how much to spend. It makes sense if you can afford it-- but it surely isnt expected. As a twenty-something, I couldnt have afforded to cover my plate for the NYC and Phila "do it big" weddings I am very close with my nieces and nephews (7) and tend to be generous with gifts. I spend a little more on birthdays, graduations etc but I also spend a lot of timing coming up with gifts that support their interests, budding careers and education etc. All are too young for wedding gifts, but I expect that I will also be generous in helping them to establish and celebrate their new lives. My situation is somewhat unique though-- I don't have my own kids and I take an active role in helping to raise the nieces and nephews-- not because their parents don't or can't but more to balance their parents. I am somewhat of a matriarch in the family-- or more correctly the crazy and generous aunt. (My dad calls me auntie mame) OK, so that said, today at this point of my life, I would give $1000 as a wedding gift to a niece or nephew. For a nonfamily close friend it would be more in the 100-200 range... though I will be honest, unless I am giving "big money" I tend to give special selected gifts.
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I don't know whether this is a real post or a come-on from the photographer, and I didn't go to the web site. But the reference to thank you notes caught my attention. Are you ordering stationery with your picture on it? I would skip that. I assume they are expensive, and frankly, I think I would find it a little odd to receive. Would you put your photo on your stationery any other time? Probably not -- it seems a little narcissistic -- so I wouldn't do it for a wedding, either. Maybe especially not for thank you notes; the focus should be on the giver of the gift, not the recipient. Just use regular, nice stationery (not with "thank you" printed on it, either; you're going to write that inside). Save yourselves some money while making it even nicer than if you'd spent more -- how often can you do that?
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I gave my dad a new, silver pocket knife--he always carries one (a small one), as well as a handkerchief. It's one of those "my dad" things that I've always liked about him; he was always prepared. And just a week before the wedding he'd lamented that his was getting a little dull. And I think one of the decorative panels was cracked or something. So it was something he needed, and it was small and personal; I just got a slightly fancy version of it. My folks didn't pay for the wedding, but they DID a lot. I wanted to say thanks. I don't remember what I got my mom--maybe a beaded evening bag I saw that I realized would match the dress she was going to wear? Sort of "spur of the moment" thing. I didn't have a really formal thing, and i don't think my sis got them presents, so they weren't expecting anything. I just happened to get two very SPECIFIC ideas that were unique to them. I didn't worry about getting a present for my in-laws. I didn't give the presents out at the rehearsal barbecue, co my ILs didn't even know about them. Plus, I was very specifically saying "thanks for ripping up your schedule, your home, etc., for this wedding." My ILs didn't do that much. They flew out for the wedding, and were helpful where they could be, but that was about it. They did throw a big reception back in their home town, but I didn't feel like they were doing much for US; that reception was really for THEM. So while I was gracious, and grateful, it didn't move me the same way my DMom & DDad's organizing and cleaning and prepping did. I'm not a fan of generic sorts of gifts--picture frames, etc. Those do feel like a "shuffling around of the money" thing.
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caroline94535
Original Author
18 years ago
Try using the word...

pictures

and let me know if that works.
mimi_boo
18 years ago
Pretty jewelry Caroline. I would only avoid the ring since she got a wedding ring when they married. My personal preference is the pendant.
sue_va
18 years ago
Using pictures works.

I think the pendant would be best, assuming that you know she likes jewelry.

btw, I'm still trying to figure out how to do Private withPB. Wanna help me?

Sue
sheilajoyce_gw
18 years ago
How pretty! I like them all, but especially the first one with a ring of diamonds and sapphires around the pearl and the pearl earrings with the sapphire leaves and the drop necklace.
jayokie
18 years ago
"pictures" worked. My preference is the pearl pendant with the sapphire above it. That would be very nice with dressy or casual clothes - from formal to jeans. Simple, elegant, easy to add to if the wearer wanted to do so, yet looking very nice 'as is'.
nodakgal
18 years ago
I'd get the pendant here too!
I absolutely adore the first pair of earrings tho!
gardenspice
18 years ago
I like the earrings on the first row, gold if her wedding ring is, white gold if it is that.
caroline94535
Original Author
18 years ago
Sue Va ~ Go to your photobucket account. At the top of the page, next to your user name, is a link "Account Options." Click on that, then you can scroll down to "Account Settings" and click "My account is private."

Jayokie ~ I hear what you're saying. No, I don't really know the girl at all. I've never met her, but I've decided to give a small piece of "real" jewelry.

She's a new bride, even though it's the second-time-around and she has two children. They got married in my brother's house and I don't think any of the family has acknowledged the fact in any way.

This will probably be the only real jewelry she's ever owned. It will be hers with no strings attached. At this time, I wouldn't give her any of the small diamonds from my Grandma's wedding band, but I will give her something that's "all hers."

Thanks to everyone for the ideas...and keep 'em coming!
hounds_x_two
18 years ago
You have a very thoughtful and generous idea. Do you know anything about her preferences? I agree with all said about the pendant...it is my vote, too. I think it would be most likely to "fit" with just about any jewelry style preference.
clubm
18 years ago
Pendant also.
jannie
18 years ago
I wish you were related to me-you are so thoughtful and generous! Cash and a nice piece of jewelry sound like the perfect way to welcome her to the family. I got married in a small ceremony 29 years ago. Only two relatives sent gifts, and belive me, I remember exactly who sent what and who DIDN'T send anything, not even a card of congratulations.

Help me pick a wedding gift for NIL

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