I picked DS up at rehab 2 days ago. He had a rough time which pleases me. The rehab was very regimented. Every second accounted for and one session or lecture every hour. There were many court mandated, formerly incarcerated, heroin addicts in the rehab. They were a tough group. A few were going through the motions because they had to for the courts. DS saw and lived in a whole new frightening world. He says he took it very seriously and never wants to be in that position again. He is aware that his problem is no different than that of his fellow patients. Just the addiction is a different substance and he is not facing jail. So now he is back with his really lovely girl friend. But she has no more tolerance and she is fully capable to be on her own. He knows that. His job is up in the air. He doesn't know if they will take him back, but he will wait until he has all his out patient commitments lined up before he contacts his boss. His drivers license is suspended until he pays a fine which he can't pay because he is broke. There is public transportation in his town and the outpatient facility is 1/2 mile away. So DH and I are not frantic this week. We are realistic and hopeful. Maybe this time. Thank you for all your support and giving me a place to scream. Laura

Thank you for the responses. Here is additional info: BF and I have been together for 5 years, living together with kids for 2. No plans to marry, neither of us feels it is necessary, we are committed to each other as though we are married. We own a beautiful home, and both work and enjoy a very comfotable life with our children. Ex-husband is abusive and controlling. Has been known to "bash" me to the kids, and manipulate them. DS was looking for something in his closet, probably trying to avoid BF who was trying to talk with him about what happened. The closet door is actually a curtain, that matches the room. This is the rod that came down on top of DS. He then grabbed it, was angry to begin with, so I imagine this falling on him did not help his emotional state. DS insists he was never going to hit anyone with it, but he did think about smashing it on his bed. My take now is that DS was extremely angry, went upstairs to be alone. I went out. BF knew DS was upset and went to try to talk to him. I beleive BF was badgering him a bit, (why are you so upset, etc) and DS became overwhelmed emotionally. I am having a sit down tonight with BF and DS to see if we can resolve this whole thing. I appreciate the responses. I was a little caught off guard with Sylvia. Her response seemed a little aggressive, pretty much accusing my BF of impropriety. Not sure what is up with that...

leecl, My DS6 has a rare, aggresive cancer so I am where your SO and BM are. How old is SO's son? SO and BM have been hit by the parental nuclear bomb, a really sick kid with a big time cancer. Life or death decisions, financial craziness, BM is probably extra nuts right now. SO too whether he recognizes it or not. No matter what you think of the BM, "She is very controlling and demanding and emotionally manipulative with his whole family," consider retooling your thinking for now. This is not a broken leg or the measles. Providing comfort is touchy. My DH just wants to "work" through the process so I let him. Finances go to the moon. I know that St. Jude's offers free care so that is tremendous. Even so, the costs are horrendous. I think one way you can support your SO is by having some compassion for them both. The old issues with her need to be put way on the backburner, if SO won't or can't he will probably be frozen out even if she still is asking him for money. That will make your relationship pretty rough I think. If he is pulling away from you, as hard as it may be, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. His emotions are spun. Both DH and I have pulled away from certain people during this. The best support I think you can provide is to gently listen if that's what he wants. If he turns to you, don't feed in to his anger toward BM. Encourage cooperation despite the old problems, their DS needs that the most.

I bought two of these very expensive high end ice makers. One worked perfectly, the other never made ice properly. The ice came out in sheets and was cloudy. The company I bought them from has tried unsuccessfully to repair the machine three times (took it back to the repair shop) saying that there was something wrong with the thermistor. Hoshizaki is only willing to cover repairs, parts and labor but will not replace the defective machine or even return my calls. They will only communicate with the installer (Empire Cooler-Chicago). I'm very frustrated that I spent $1,800 for this ice maker and it doesn't work.