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Another Marlen post

Linda Wayman
15 years ago

There are a lot of people who have never read any of Marlen's posts. I wanted to share this one. I know there are others out there if anyone wants to add any. Believe me, they are entertaining.


My First Chat Room Experience

Posted by Marlen in South FL (matchlessm@aol.com) on Thu, Jul 27, 00 at 10:18

Last night, I had my first Chat Room experience at the kt-class. For those of you who missed the big event in my life, and for those of you who might attempt it in the future, I thought I'd share my experience in order to avoid others pain and suffering.

Dottie had given me the info. At 7 pm I did everything I was told and, behold!, I entered the Chat Room. So I wrote "Hello" as instructed and waited. Nothing. So I said hello again. Silence. I did this several times without success.

Then I noticed a button that said Live Help. I was alive. I needed help. So I pressed it. Jenn came on to ask how she could help me. I explained I had been helloing myself but I could not find the other people. What seemed like a long time passed, and then Jenn asked, "What do you mean you have been helloing yourself?" I repeated it. She then informed me that there was nobody there.

I immediately realized Jenn was a lot of french fries short of a kiddie meal. And she was lying. I was there. She was there, and purporting to be alive no less. I knew I was not helloing myself this time! I thanked her and Xed out.

I tried the same thing at 8 pm. I Helloed myself a couple of times. Then I saw rabbit's thread. I'm supposed to be on at 9 pm. Oh!!

A few minutes after 9 pm I got through. I immediately started seeing refereces to chocklit. Success!!! Before I could type anything, a bunch of "Hello, Marlen" appeared. I knew for sure I was not helloing myself this time.

I helloed back. Little musical beeps sounded every time I sent something.

It became apparent immediately that I was the only chat room virgin present. Then there was talk about cheesecake. People were putting in their order: snickers, blueberry, cherry, etc. I said anything will do for me. I'm a cheap date. They went on to discuss salmon and lobster. I gained 10 pounds. They offered to type slow for me, but I realized it did not matter. I kept mispelling "I am hysterical" so I couldn't read anything anyhow.

Somebody new arrived who was there also for the first time and did not know the KT. I welcomed her immediately figuring we could bond because of our similar circumstances. I kept posting messages to her and was elated that I could keep up with at least one person. Charitably, I was informed she had just looked and left. No wonder I could keep up!

I then asked why she did not say goodbye, because Dottie had taught me that was the proper etiquette. Dottie then warned me not to divulge anything she had taught me. Therefore, I could not share tips on the best attire to attract sailors.

DH came out of the bedroom saying the computer "ding-a-lings" were bothering him. I told him I was also bothered by a ding-a-ling and to go back to bed.

Back in the chat room, I excused myself to get a pop and turned the AC to its coldest setting, since I was sweating profusely from the stress. When I returned there was talk of kitty poop. So I was glad I had left. References to my refrigerator door upgrade surfaced. I was asked if we had a video camera. I replied we do, but only DH uses it, and so far all we have is video of the dogs' private parts because he always takes the shot when they are jumping. Consequently, I no longer jump. I was assured that this would comfort me in my old age.

DH then came in wrapped in blanket saying he was freezing, and demanding to know when we had been transported back to Chicago. I gave him one of my best Cuban looks, and he retreated into the bedroom mumbling about high electrical bills and the need to burn furniture for warmth.

Unable to continue due to stress and DH, I said my formal goodbyes.

This morning, for the first time in my life, I took Geritol. I must keep up.

Thank you, KTers. I am no longer a chat room virgin. But I gotta tell you, though. My honeymoon was easier.

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