At the root of every gray hair

13 years ago

At the root of every gray hair, there is a dead brain cell.
Someone had to remind me,
So I'm reminding you, too.
Don't laugh.... It is all true!

Perks of reaching 50
Or being over 60
And heading towards
70 or beyond!

1.
Kidnappers are not very Interested in you.

2.
In a hostage situation,You are likely to be released first.

3.
No one expects you to run --Anywhere.

4.
People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

5.
People no longer view you as a Hypochondriac.

6.
There is nothing left To learn the hard way.

7.
Things you buy now will never wear out.

8.
You can eat
Supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex
But not your glasses.

You get into heated arguments
About pension plans.

You no longer think of speed limits
As a challenge.

You quit trying to hold
Your stomach in no matter who walks
Into the room.

You sing along
With elevator music.

Your eyes won't get
Much worse.

Your investment in health insurance
Is finally beginning to pay off.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
Than the national weather service.

Your secrets are safe with your friends
Because they can't remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
A manageable size.

You can't remember
Who sent you this list.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER ,
Under any circumstances,
Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on
The same night!

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Comments (10)

pam_25f
13 years ago
Funny, and sadly, mostly true!
blfenton
13 years ago
#7 is so true.

I'm 60. We renovated our house 3 years ago and when we redid our kitchen I looked at all my utensils - the knives, whisks, bowls, graters, spatulas, etc. I got rid of a lot of the yecchy ones and bought really nice new ones. I figured it would be the last time that I would buy new utensils/bowls/pans because the new ones would hopefully last me 20-25 years and I would not be replacing them.
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I wish my hair would turn that nice bright white that Moni and Glenda enjoy! But, no, I have the same 'grey rat' color along with some pure white that Jan is complaining about. My mother and both grandmothers had that too. I also have a weird clump of my original dark brown that's never lost color; it's right in front, above my right eye. Even if the rest of my hair did turn white, I'd look like a 'reverse skunk', thanks to that stripe. So, until they invent something to make ALL my hair a nice white...I'm at the hairdresser every five weeks, getting my hair colored light brown and inhaling those wicked chemicals.
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My hair is still mostly brown. Other than a couple times henna-ing it back in the 90's just for fun, I've never colored it. From a distance, I'm brown, but you can see fine white threads in there up close, sort of making it a dusty brown. Back when white would first grow in, there'd be a thick brittle strand or two which would break off. The thick ones still do that, so it's the thin fine ones that will take over someday. My Dad didn't turn grey until his 70's, although definite signs in his late sixties. I'm 63. Mom always hated her hair color so she never did NOT dye it until the last few years of her life, so I have no idea when hers went grey, Dad's sister went grey late, too.. hers was an unusual "skunk white" on the top of her head going down the back, over nearly black hair. I liked it, it seemed distinguished. She is now all grey. I could see henna-ing mine again, but I don't want harsh chemicals in my hair from other coloring agents, and besides I rather think I've earned the grey hairs.
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When I decided to stop coloring my hair was because of a "cool hair" compliment. I had gone to a Federal agency to conduct a mediation and had to park in a pay parking lot. The mediation was in the summer and last nearly all day, it was successful. Regardless, as I was walking to my car, the young (probably HS senior) attendant told me that he loved the purple color of my hair and he thought it was cool. I thanked him. Inside I was humiliated. I decided right then that I would quit coloring my hair. Evidently the pigment needed to darken hair (my natural hair color was a dark brown) was red or purple. Regardless, even though the young attendant thought I was a cool grandma, I decided it was not cool for me. Still laugh about this.
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I have always had coarse/frizzy, and very thick, hair which is not the same as curly/frizzy hair. The best way for me to tame it is to blow it completely dry. That works mostly fine in the winter, but in summer/humid weather, I need to use product. For my hair, Straight Works by Paul Mitchell gives me the smooth shine. It‘s put on while hair is damp and then blown dry. I’m only 52 but have a lot of gray and my hair grows very fast which means coloring my roots every four weeks. I have no desire at my age, especially since I still have kids at home, to go gray, even though it’s becoming more trendy. I’ve noticed that as I get closer to time for coloring, the texture of my hair gets coarser, so I have started using Straight Works more often in the winter. My daughter, who also has very thick, coarse hair that is also curly/wavy sometimes uses It‘s a 10 that has been mentioned above.
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linda_in_iowa
13 years ago
#7, is how I feel about my car. When I bought it new 4 years ago I said it was probably the last car I would buy. It only has 19k miles on it today.
User
13 years ago
#12 really hit home for me! No matter if I try to hold my breath and straighten my shoulders that belly is still there!!
glenda_al
13 years ago
Amen

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
Than the national weather service.
ravencajun Zone 8b TX
13 years ago
those are hilarious and unfortunately true.
We have discovered we don't have to buy new books because we don't remember what happened in the ones we read a few months ago much less the ones I found boxed up from our last move!
phyllis__mn
13 years ago
....and I don't take advantage of the longer magazine subscription offers.
Toni S
13 years ago
yes # 7
Recently told my dh I felt a little sad that the remodeling we are doing now, will be the last because it's going to last until I'm gone. Really, I should be happy to be able to say that. When it's all done, maybe then.
kayjones
13 years ago
Raven - EXACTLY! I rarely buy 'new' books - I just pull one off the shelf and re-read it - a whole new book to me! LOL
cheryl_ok
13 years ago
funny post, so true too
Phyllis has a great point also

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At the root of every gray hair

Comments (10)

pam_25f

blfenton

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linda_in_iowa

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glenda_al

ravencajun Zone 8b TX

phyllis__mn

Toni S

kayjones

cheryl_ok

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