Aunt Jen, Hope you come back here and see this reply to you! This might get a little long, but since every woman is different, I feel like you need to know MY circumstances. I always swore I would never take hormones! I was just going to tough it out. I am 47 and "think" I have been in perimenopause for almost 10 years. I was having super heavy bleeding and it had gotten to the point where I couldn't leave the house for a couple of days, and then it was 3 weeks on and one week off! ugh! My gyn had offered in the past for me to take birth control pills to help with the bleeding. Well I also had a tubal ligation 20 years ago and it just didn't settle right with me to take birth control pills. So I just kept "dealing" with it. Then last year it got bad enough that I was going to have a hysterectomy. I was all prepared, and my mother n law was diagnosed wtih Brain Cancer. My DH was the only caretaker living close by, so I knew I couldn't put him through caring for him dying mom and me trying to recuperate from a hysterectomy and still go to work everyday. So, my gyn and I decided I should try an endometrial ablation. It has been a miracle! I have not had one period in a year's time! woohoo! So I do still have my ovaries. Around Christmas last year, I started having strong heart palpitations in the middle of the night when I would get up to go potty. I couldn't believe that walking like 10 steps to and from the bathroom would cause such a thing, and I was convinced I was fixing to have a heart attack or something major! I went to a cardiologist, and convinced him to do a stres test on me, also a chemical one, and everything showed up fine. My blood pressure was up a little, so he put me on a beta blocker, but it's a low dosage. Then later in the spring, I started feeling sort of dizzy, light headed, like I might pass out...even had that feeling driving to church one morning...that really scared me! I just felt very strange and very wierd. And then at the same time, the hot flashes at night started...it felt like 20 times a night I was pushing the covers down, and then 5 minutes later pulling them back up because I was freezing. Not easy to sleep with all that going on!!! So, it got to the point, I was not getting much sleep, and then during the day, the wierd head feeling( i was convinced I had a brain tumor) was keeping me from functioning. I found myself waiting for my hubby to get home from work, and then asking him to drive me to Walmart or to the grocery store, etc...becaue I was too scared to go by myself, for fear of passing out somewhere. It was awful! Then, I had a breakthrough thanks to ThatHOmesite! There is a menopause message board on here, and I started reading threads there and OMG! There were threads about, wierd head feeling, palpitations, feeling like you are going to pass out...and most of these women were right around my age!!!! I couldn't believe it! So, I printed all those things out, and took them to my gyn at my annual checkup in June. I talked to her about it, and she knew I had never wanted to take hormones, and she was also concerned about be taking them so that they didn't start to build up the lining of my uterus that she had ablated. So she recommended I go to our compounding pharmacy and get a saliva testing kit...it was $170 out of my pocket, but I was so desperate, it was worth every penny! So I spit in a tube, and mailed it off to Oregon. A couple of weeks later, the results came back in and my hormones were WAY out of whack AND my adrenals were exhausted. So to answer your question...=), I am on a progeserone/estrogen cream that I use twice daily right now. This cream is made just for me according to my results. There is also a long questionnaire that you fill out about all your symptoms. I am also on DHEA and adrenal forte, to get my adrenals working the way they should again. I started all this about 6 weeks ago, and the difference it has made in my life has been life changing! I would say I am at least 50% better already, maybe even 75% and I feel so much stronger during the day, I have actually been able to start exercising. Couldn't even do that before! The hot flashes at night have all but gone away...there might be a couple sometime, but they are very mild and I seem to fall back asleep easier than I was. I still wake up during the night now, for what reason I don't know. I am going to try cutting out all caffeine, even though I don't consume much of it anyway. But it came down to quality vs. quantity of life for me, and I wound up choosing quality. I have seen my 91 year old mother, be miserable, with not much quality of life, and I just decided I would rather enjoy my life now, instead of just trying to go for quantity of years and be miserable later. I am still trying to take care of myself, in fact, I feel like doing that now where as before the hormones, I really didn't care! So I hope this somewhat helps you. Sorry it took so long to explain, just wanted you to know my own situation. You have to decide what's best for you!

This is absolutely a topic where each couple has to forge the method that works best for them. There is no one right answer, no wrong one--as LONG as the couple makes their method work. I personally feel extremely strongly that couples need to keep their money separate. DH and I have been married 37 years, have always had our own accounts, our separate investments, etc--and not once EVER have we fought over money (plenty of other things, but never money). After all, being married doesn't make you one person--you don't automatically merge and start using each other's clothes, shoes, jewelry, do you? Of course not. Most couples I know have separate cars--they may occasionally use each other's car, but for the most part, each drives one more than the other. There's absolutely nothing wrong with keeping finances separate. DH and I--while both frugal and very fiscally responsible--have differing investment preferences. I can't imagine having to balance a checkbook every month that's being used willy-nilly by 2 people--it's much simpler to each have your own. Aside from the convenience factor, every person, IMO--should absolutely have enough money put away, IN THEIR OWN name so they can get along for at least 6 months or so. Any number of different disasters can affect one's ability to access community funds. Death, a split, a partner who suddenly decides to empty the joint account, legal action, etc etc etc. I've known too many older women who let their husband's manage/control the family finances who, at the worst time of their lives had to deal with not only losing their husband and planning a funeral, but having also to try to find and understand all the various investments, insurances, savings, etc. When you manage your own money, all your life, you don't have that panic to go through. As to the person who couldn't understand nor agree with individuals wanting money that they could spend without accounting for it? Well, even in the best relationships, one may want to buy the other a special gift--without having to ask for, or justify using the money. To me, as I said above--money is exactly like shoes. It does NOT adversely affect a relationship if each person keeps their shoes and money separate from the other. In our case, I have been so effective at managing my money, that even though I havne't worked full time in over 28 years, I had enough money saved, to be able to buy--on my own--our retirement home 2 years ago, and maintain it financially. I'm proud that I was able to do that for my husband. And he has so much respect for my money managing ability that he recently received a sizable inheritance that he immediately handed to me, and told me to 'do what I wanted with it'--knowing full well, I will care and grow that money for our retirement years, as I have with all other money I've gotten my hands on in the past 4 decades. I'm not saying that our method is right for all (even though I do believe everyone needs some money of their own), but I do wish to illustrate that there are many, many different methods that couples can use, that may work for them. Lastly--I have to make this point--if you knew us, you'd agree that there are few people you know in life who are more married, more devoted to each other than my DH and I--keeping money separate is NOT a detriment to a good marriage, any more than dumping it together will insure one will never get a divorce. Every couple is different, and the more important thing is that the two of you work together, agree on how you will manage money, and then follow through responsibly.

Until recently, we drove older vehicles. I had a 95 Chrysler Cirrus (bought in 95) and a 02 Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder (bought in 05). The Chrysler had 107,000 miles on it when sold to 16 year old as her first car. I traded the Spyder in for a 14 Chrysler 300C. Hubby drove his 99 van until the frame rusted out and we replaced with a 12 Ram 1500 PU. My family has always driven older cars. My brother has my dad's 96 Chrysler Sebring convertible and recently ventured into the 2000s by picking up a 03 Jeep Liberty. He drives multiple cars every day (utility purposes), switching between a work van, his personal 00 Dodge van and a 73 Plymouth Gran Fury. He's got a bout 7 cars (never less; you'd understand if you knew our family). My all time favorite car to drive is now in a museum. A 27 Dodge Cabriolet that was in the family for 30+ years. I loved driving it. The heavy duty truck transmission requiring double clutching, the "grabber" brakes that required an oh so gentle touch on the pedal. I miss that car.....Here's a picture of the car being loaded up to take to the museum. The guy's head that you see is the guy who's in charge of the car. We've kept in touch and they haven't modified the car at all. Still looks like this and is driven very frequently. I've been fortunate to have driven cars from every decade starting with the 1920s and I've enjoyed the heck out of each one.

maifleur, I don't think you're stupid but sometimes you are misinformed and a bit stubborn about it. Telecommunication and infrastructure investments are all about population density and population levels. Another example of that was how rural areas were so late in getting electricity in the 20th century compared to many urban areas that had it many decades sooner. Today, if you want high speed internet and cell phone coverage, living in a rural area is a choice unlikely to be helpful. "Tracfone buys their feeds but so does every other carrier" Very much not true for the larger carriers. Both Verizon and AT+T operate their own networks (mostly, not entirely) and several of the smaller ones do also, in large part. If not, why would there such wide differences in the coverage maps? "People live where they have homes." People usually live where they have employment, not where they have homes. Are you suggesting that someone who owns a home in a 4 house town in North Dakota is going to stay there unemployed rather than move somewhere they can get a job they're qualified to do? I don't think so. I do remember Roaming charges. I even had that happen not that many years ago when I was up in the Sierra foothills in an area that had some little podunk cellular carrier. When the charge appeared on my bill, I called Verizon and they reversed it. The "R" symbol always appears when I use my smartphone abroad because its connection to a non-Verizon system is a form of "roaming".