Not trying to man bash.....but this is typical. I feel I have to draw a map with explicit instructions for everything I ask my DH to do. Our brain's just think differently. I wouldn't say much either, it doesn't get me anywhere, BUT I would probably chuckle, and ask how he would like to do it ALL over again- in the correct color.

Last weekend I was away and asked DH to hang new blinds in a few windows in our bedroom. Because he is, well, DH, I had to make a specific list of steps, including taking down the curtains and the rod and filling in the holes where the rods were and touch-up painting. In other words, completing the job. I came home and yes, the shades were up and the curtains/rod were down, but the holes were still unpatched and no painting was done. Totally typical for my DH (though he is a great guy otherwise!). I just rolled my eyes and will do it myself this weekend.

Years ago, I asked my husband to wash our bedroom walls with Dirtex before I painted. He used an old linen dishtowel which began to disintegrate as he moved around the orange peel texture in our somewhat large bedroom. I didn't realize this until I started to paint and noticed all these little "whiskers" in the paint surface. Basically, the towels had spread all over every surface of the room, bit by bit. Guess who does all the prep and painting work now, from start to finish?

You are so nice yayagal...nicer than I would have been!

I can't imagine asking my husband to do anything at our house without me hovering over him.

I used to, many years ago, leave the yard to him until I realized he was clueless and would just as likely prune a gardenia in October as he would some other crazy thing.
He did do something really wild/horrible in our yard when we first built our house and it had me steaming mad at him every time I went outside for many years.

Wow...it is somewhat theraputic to hear that I am not the only one with a less-than-handy hubby. I have a theory on this actually, as does my MIL. We have programmed our DHs that if they do something wrong, we won't ask them to do it again. Perhaps they are smarter than we think? lol

yayagirl -you are a better woman than me!!!! I'd have had a fit! Painting windows and trim is soooo much work!!!

So I see my husband is in good company. I agree with the theory that there is a subtle "Well, if I don't do it very well, I won't have to do it again..." component at play here.

My husband retired a year ago, and I'm working part-time, so I told him he could take over the grocery shopping. Oh.My.God. Was it ever painstaking! First time he was gone more than 2 1/2 hours and STILL came home without half the list! The other half was close, as in a can of Whipped Cream is yes, close to Cool Whip, which oddly enough they didn't have any of in the entire store... My 14 year old DD said to me at one point, a good month into this, after her lunches were consistently bearing the brunt of DH's less than stellar scavenges..."Mom, just don't have Dad do this, he isn't good at it!" I, being 50+ now, and a tad wiser, replied, "Honey, watch and learn. This is what men do. They either pretend to be very incompetent, or they actually are, and so they get out of doing everything. But that's not going to happen this time." And lo and behold, a year later, DH is a darn good grocery shopper!

I am with creeky and bestyears too.... they are training us not to ask them to pitch in. It can be so hard not to give in and just do everything ourselves, but then we'd get stuck doing everything ourselves and being p'd off about it.

I think our sons try the same trick. I am determined to outlast them, grrrrr.....

I can almost guarantee your husband did not plan on painting it all one color. He probably made an oops (or 10) and the all one color trick covered it up!

You guys will appreciate this one. I used to have a very long commute. One day I prepped a chicken before I left for work. That night when I was about 45 minutes from home I called him and asked him to set the oven to 375 convection roast (took a but to explain this to him) and to uncover the chicken and put it in the oven once it heated up. I get home and I can hear the conection fan. I open the top oven and the chicken is in there, but the oven is cold. He put the chicken in the top oven but turned on the bottom oven. Apprently I needed to say "now, put the chicken in the oven you turned on".

When I told him to remove the Saran Wrap he got all insulted (I'm not an idiot!). Well....

They do it on purpose, you know, so we'll stop asking them to do stuff ;-)

I love these threads. Sometimes I feel like I must be speaking Russian to my husband and it is surely my lack of communication that caused the issue. Ha!

The thing that drives me batty is that there will be things RIGHTINFRONTOFHISFACE and he asks me where they are. Me, "Did you look in XYZ?". Him, "Yes". Me, dropping what I am doing or getting out of my chair to help him find it. Him, "Oh, Don't get up, I'll look for it." Me, already walking into the room. Me, "It's RIGHT there!."

Honestly, it happens so often, I immediately get exasperated when he asks a "Where is it?" question. Then he says, "Why are you getting so huffy?" grrrrr. : )

Yes, my dh used a linen dish towel that his grandmother hand embroidered for her hope chest to clean the gas stove!!! It was the only thing I had of hers and it was destroyed.

And here I thought I was the crazy woman who married the village idiot ( when it comes to the honey- do list).

While travelling out if town I stopped at a gas station to fill up and discovered that my DH installed a locking gas cap on my truck as a surprise. But he forgot to give me the key. Fortunately he didn't put it on the right way so the attendant was able to get it off, but I had to find an auto parts store to buy a regular cap.

I am so happy to read that my husband is normal. I thought that mine was unique. What a relief to find they all do the same thing.

Mine does all of the above. No sense in telling any stories. You hit almost all.

As a "surprise", my ex(husband) painted the bathroom with leftover gray, oil based floor and deck enamel.

OMG...I considered the possiblity of DEPENDS in my near future as I was reading this thread, I was laughing soooo hard!!! My DH will ask me where to find the silverware (yeah-like I move it weekly,)! Sorry to say, 'village idiot' does cross my mind.

This is a relief! It seems to me I know only women whose husbands do what they tell them to do, and do it well, from laundry to shopping to repairs to cooking to following orders. I have long felt that my dear poet of a husband was so lost in his lofty thoughts that the mundane business of life just didn't get noticed by him, that he really couldn't figure out how to load the washing machine and get clean clothes out of it. All the other husbands I know seem to do those things. Now I know there are others just like mine!

Do you really think they do it on purpose?

isn't that the style now? walls and trim the same?:) haha

The thing that drives me batty is that there will be things RIGHTINFRONTOFHISFACE and he asks me where they are. Me, "Did you look in XYZ?". Him, "Yes". Me, dropping what I am doing or getting out of my chair to help him find it.

My rule is that if I find it within one minute, especially if I find it where it's supposed to be, I get to hit them with it :)

LOL Lazygardens! I like your rule.

My personal fave (or not): Standing in front of an open fridge, "Honey, I can't find the XYZ." Me: "Its on the top shelf, in the middle." He: "Nope, not there, guess the kids must have moved it." So I trot over to the fridge and lo and behold, guess what's on the top shelf, in the middle, RIGHTINFRONTOFHISFACE?

Do you think it would kill them to close a drawer, clean the toothpaste or shave cream out of the sink, or Dog Forbid! turn off the damn light when they leave the room?

Thanks for the thread, its pee-in-your-pants funny.

Joan Rivers, many years ago, mentioned that she was going to have a cabinet made for her kitchen canned goods that would only be one can deep, because her then husband was unable to locate any can. I'm here to tell you it won't work. Just. won't. work.

I had such a cabinet, a lovely, stud-depth cabinet which was one-can deep. I'd asked my husband to get me a can of salmon - I described the height of the can, the color of the label, the name on the label and told him it was either on the third or fourth shelf. Of course, you know where this is going....after a few minutes of searching (BTW, the 2 shelves I had directed him to look at perhaps contained a total of 20 cans) he declared he was unable to find such a can. Of course, I came over and found the can - immediately - on the third shelf!

Helene

Thanks for the laughs! My hubby was terrific! It's my 88 yr old mom that has me going crazy. "It's right there!" That may mean 3rd drawer down under the large envelope or "right there" 20 steps down the hall & in the closet! I need a mind reading class!

About 90% of what is said above is my DH!! We call him the "house guest" for a reason. I can't even imagine asking him to put up blinds or paint in the first place.

I installed a flush mount light fixture in his closet and used one of the last forever bulbs because I knew he wouldn't know how to change it.

I installed the light fixture in this picture. It took me 2 hours because it had many pieces and was so long that I (on a ladder) had to hold one end up with my head while carefully reaching over to install the other end. Okay, that's no big deal except the entire time I could see DH in front of the TV watching the football game and never got any hints from my grunting, mild cursing, and moans for frustration.

It's pretty sad when the neighbors come over to borrow my tools. Last week one of my neighbors asked DH "does Cathy have any molly bolts?". I knew DH had no clue what a molly bolt was.

What amazes me is that he is well respected in his area of interest. Ex: He was inducted into the Hall of Fame for what he does. We attended a ceremony in his honor and they gave him a plaque and a big ole ring! So he is capable and loved by many just don't expect him to know which is the business end of a hammer.

I have had serious talks with him lately explaining that I want a partnership in this house and would like him to try harder to participate in the maintenance.