Vent - Invisible Around Child
Mick Mick
15 years ago
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silversword
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoliesbeth
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Lawn mower accident with my Child
Comments (29)Elizabeth girl, you know if I could I'd be right there with you... You hang in there all will be fine. You are a strong willed person and you will make it through all of this. Glad it is looking up on baby's toe, I know how worried you were about that. I figured you were too busy to call and I was right, forgot you got the new house. Good luck with the move, sorry it is such a crazy time for you, but I know you well enough to know you will make it through all of this no matter how trying it feels. Don't lose hope, and don't let your self get down in the dumps over the move and David's appointments. Take one day at a time and if a box doesn't get cleaned out today then there is always tomorrow, or even next week. And ask for help! Don't let yourself get overwhelmed when you can get help. You have many thoughts and prays with you at this time. Take a deep breathe, get a Mt. Dew, sit down relax,or better yet go take a nap! You need to get some rest, it won't do anyone any good if you burnout trying to do it all all on your own. Happy belated Birthday, and remember you are only as old as you feel! Best wishes for you and yours! Call me when you get a new number! Fran...See MoreCan you suggest a low voc/odor caulk for around vent returns?
Comments (3)Might want to try this... Here is a link that might be useful: RCD #7 Mastic...See Morenot a child/not an adult
Comments (41)My $.02, for what it's worth, take what you like from it: I think the key to addressing these "furies" (they do exist, I can tell you from my own personal feelings having had them) is just to have some empathy for them. It's the difference between seeing the list cited above as "evidence" or "proof" of SD's rotten-ness versus truly trying to imagine yourself in SD's shoes to be able to see how good, average, decent people might have those feelings in these situations. Books like the one mentioned aren't written (hopefully!) as a warning to never marry someone with kids because the SK's "furies" are liquid evil incarnate, nor are they written to create even deeper rifts/divides between step-parents and step-children. They're written to help people understand all sides of the issue so they can be more compassionate and sensitve to each other's needs/feelings so they can become closer. For example, I've heard accounts from many SM's throughout my life about how upset/jealous/irate they have become just looking at their SD's giving their Dad a hug... or having such thoughts as "why should SHE get an Ipod when all I had was a big clunky 8-track when I was her age?" or "it burns me up how spoiled SD expects college to be paid for when I didn't even go at all". I guess you might call these sorts of feelings "furies" as well... Ipod, master bedroom, college expenses... all are comparsions between both parties as to "who gets to get what" and hugging Dad/going to adult party with Dad are issues on both sides of "who gets Dad's primary attention today"... So that might make it easier to understand. And just as an SM doesn't want to be judged or condemned as rotten through-and-through for feelings such as these (or even occasional, natural private feelings of "hate" when moments are at their worst), same goes for SK's. As for what can be done about all this, imho there's no way around both parties having to walk on eggshells a bit more than is usual in bio families, each trying to bend over backwards (within reason) to consider the other's sensitivities, even if at some moments it feels like eating glass. Even if it feels like they shouldn't *have* to make the extra effort. Taking some minor amount of cr*p here and there, up to a limit. Being somewhat flexible and definitely keeping a sense of humor. Showing an appropriate amount of humility and real-ness with the other party so neither comes off like they think they're superior or out to muscle their way on everything. The art of meeting halfway and mutual sacrifice for the greater good, the art of picking and even sometimes *losing* "battles" for a bigger long-term picture. Getting a lot less picky about little petty junk, for if nothing else your own sanity. Knowing that you can only control/change yourself and your own actions and figuring out how to adjust accordingly and react to situations to your satsfaction without thinking someone else will change. And as for speaking up and feeling heard, learning about something called "assertiveness training" helps A LOT (it's definitely helped me, anyways...)...See MoreWhen You Don't Want to Be Invisible or Friends After 50
Comments (138)I had been trying to re-connect with a friend by emailing her and arranging lunch dates. I was always the one to initiate. I kept it up for several months. When we saw each other it was always really nice. When we ran into each other at church there were always big hugs and "we have to do lunch again soon !". The only way that was going to happen was if I initiated. I stopped. For good or bad I don't think that it can be one-sided. I have given this a lot of thought. I have always been a loner and I believe I always will be. I have had one good friend at a time for years and then it would end and I would have another. I seem to be able to manage that and nothing else. I believe that if I really wanted more I would do more to aide the process. DH and I are really close and do a lot of things together and separately. He has no close friend either. But that is nothing new. Looking at it dispassionately it is the way we are. I no longer think there is something wrong with us. Everyone finds their own way of carrying on. My way wouldn't work for someone else and their way wouldn't work for me. When I am on a bike tour for months at a time I do enjoy being with others ...up to a point. All of us on the trips agree that our tent is like a return to the womb :) When I get home I really relish the lack of stimulation from others and go right back into my solitary ways. I have meditated at length on this and on my original thread that spawned this thread. I am what I am and that is all that I am. Peaceful is how I feel ...not lonely or alone. c...See Moreiloveexercise
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMick Mick
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agofinedreams
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agodogdogcrazy
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agogellchom
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoJacqui Bedingfield
7 years agocolleenoz
7 years agoTALIA Montes
3 years agocolleenoz
3 years agoKim Aves
3 years agolast modified: 3 years agoHU-366709212
3 years agolast modified: 3 years ago
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