Looking for custodial stepmothers
Vicky1975
11 years ago
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Vicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Am I an evil stepmother?
Comments (5)TIA, It's true about a situation being 95% of what we make of it and that's why I suggest you make the situation 95% to suit you! Stop trying to please SS! He does not want to be pleased & he will never like you. He's all about punishing you. Your the adult so take charge. Since SS is treating your home like an hotel and treating you worse than a slave servant. Tell your H the situation is causing unhappiness for you all & ask him to accommodate & visit with his son separately. or Hire a full time cleaning woman when SS is by you & have her also order takeout for him. She's to do only cleaning & takeout meal ordering. Absolutely NO cooking. No exceptions! Totally ignore SS. If none of the above is an option for you, I suggest you STOP catering to SS whims & STOP cleaning up after SS. Leave the mess as is and totally ignore him. If H complains about the mess. Offer to call in a cleaning woman to clean up the mess. Absolutely refuse to clean & or do anything for for SS. SS has made it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that he does not want to be part of you & H's family. You can also tell H that while you understand that by marrying H, SS is part of the "package", BUT being mistreated & disrespected is NOT part of the "package"! Hopefully this helps. If not, you may have to walk away, because when a husband refuses to protect his own wife from mistreatment & or abuse, this sort of thing doesn't improve it just gets worse & WORSE!...See MoreFor Step-Mothers Only
Comments (29)"steppin out" I can relate to your feelings of wishing you could have had everything with your significant other first. I'm only 22 and I know I don't know everything like a lot of other people my age think, but I know I have a good head on my shoulders. My boyfriend is 36 and has a 12 yr. old that he had (unplanned) when he was 23. We have our own baby on the way that wasn't planned either and there are a lot of things I wish could have been firsts for us but given the age difference that would have been difficult in any circumstance. However, I feel like because he's been through this once already there are many things he's not willing to do that he did the first time, like bending over backwards trying to make everything work. He and his ex got married because "it was the right thing to do" not because they were in love. 9 months after his son was born he learned that his wife never really wanted to get married and wish she had waited until after their son was born. That knowledge tore everything apart for my BF and they divorced and it's still costing him. So here I am, 22, a college graduate soon to have no health insurance and no promise of marriage even though it was something we talked about before I became pregnant. I feel like old events are haunting what we have and preventing progress. Now more than ever my BF is giving less discipline to an already spoiled and lazy kid. I wonder how things will play out once there is a new baby... The whole situation is scary and overwhelming and sometimes I feel like there is nothing I can do but just hope and pray that everything turns out ok and I'll have a real family and I won't be treated like the second priority. I'll always have my family that I grew up with that are extremely supportive and helpful but what I need is for my BF to step up and take into consideration that I need what he gave to the person that never wanted it from him in the first place. It's not fair that we can't choose who we love and what their past was and what happens to us. I wish I could have had the first experiences and the history. I wish I didn't have to feel like the evil step-mother to an ungrateful 12 yr. old or at least I wish I was older so that the upbringing that my mother gave me would have more of an affect because I know I'm going to be a great mom to my own child and I'll have many strong women in my life who will be able to provie me with great advice. But there's only so much you can do for a child that's not yours and doesn't respect you and there's only so far a limit you can force someone to be something you need them to be. I don't want a picture perfect life, I just want what I know I deserve; what every good, strong, level-headed woman who wants a life with their "Mr. Right" who messed up with their "Ms. Wrong." Why should we have to pay for the mistakes of others and the bitterness of step-children and ex-wives?...See MoreStep-Mother vs. Step-Daughter
Comments (5)Prior to DH and I getting married I had a wonderful relationshipp with my 10 year old SD. Her father is the custodial parent of her and three other children and has been since she was four years old - she has had an on again off again relationship with her mom since she left. I think that DSD was just as excited about our marriage as we were. We got married on December 15 and by Christmas she had declared an all out war against me trying to make sure that I understood her place in her dad's life. She did not like me sitting by him, kissing him (something she had seen plenty of times prior to our marriage) or being near him in any way. Everything was a struggle from who got to sit by him in the truck and at the dinnertable to her point blank asking him whom he loved the most. (He very diplomatically told her he loved us both the same amount for different reasons - NOT the answer she was looking for) We left for our honeymoon on December 26th and went to Disneyland taking all four of the kids with us and every single day and activity was a batttle for her dads attention. Sometimes I stepped back and let her have her time and others (like the time she insisted that he hold both of her hands, instead of one of each) I did not. She is a loving, sweet little girl that I love with all of my heart and I tried to place myself in her position and never battle back - just talk and explain and listen ans sometimes say "I'm sorry but this is the way that it is and this is the reason why." After just a couple of weeks she understood that I wasn't trying to take her place and she loved me again. Six weeks after getting married DH and I got a huge surprise and found out we were pregnant (while on the pill) We were thrilled, DSD was devastated and hysterical and again we just sat back and listened and explained and loved her and let her vent and sometimes rant and rave, and sometimes when she got out of hand we had to send her to her room to give her and us a moment to calm down and regroup. We knew we had to give her time and patience and understanding. Her dad never let her disrespect me in any way, and beleive me there were times I think she wanted me to go away and never come back, but she never said as much. It took her 4 months to accept the pregnancy and another month to admit she was happy - I am due November 7th and the first time she said anything about being excited about the baby was the fourth of July. I know for me sometimes it was hard not to get angry, and start telling her how she needed to be acting differently because of this and this and this, but then I would just remind myself how traumatizing all of these changes had to be for a child and would just sit back and bite my lips until the impulse passed. We now have the loving relationship (and friendship) that we had before and i am greatful everyday that I found the patience I needed to sit back and let her adjust. Hugs - Candy...See MoreWhat is a (step)mother's place in the 'family'?
Comments (22)your entitled to your opinion and if you let your kid eat dessert for their meal (not before the meal) then I'm sure they'll nominate you for mother of the year!!! congratulations. I didn't discuss anything with the counselor. SD told the counselor about getting sick & the counselor told me (later, when I was picking up SD) that maybe the mayo was bad. and it's interesting how you don't answer the ACTUAL question but change it to fit your agenda. The entire question is: "It would be interesting to see what would happen if a step mom gave your kids ice cream for breakfast and let them cook something for themselves (which required using a can opener) and they came home sick and throwing up. I guess you would do nothing, it's not your place to even mention it?" and assuming your child is 7 or 8 years old. Not a teenager....See Morejustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agopseudo_mom
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agosylviatexas1
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoimamommy
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoyabber
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agosylviatexas1
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agomomof3_stepof1
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoyabber
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoimamommy
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoyabber
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoyabber
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoimamommy
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoyabber
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10 years agolast modified: 9 years agoShelby Welch
7 years ago
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