They are technically called threeway switches, you can buy them almost anywhere. There are three connections on the switch one of which is labeled common. The common can be on one side with the other two on the other side or the common can be on the bottom with the others on either side on top. I use a flashlight and magnifying glass to find the word common. When replacing the switch the wire that is on the common has to go on the common, the other two can go on either of the other screws, doesn't matter. How they work? Power into the common of first switch, two other wires to other switch, power out of the common on the second switch to the light.

I doubt she is going to answer since the website has been sold twice since that post was made nine years ago. Anyhow, you can bypass the switches if you are just going to use the remote, but frankly, I'd not do that. You'd like the ability to to hard switch off the fans for maintenance things like replacing the bulbs. Just install the fan to the switched circuit. Work the switches so that the fan is powered and then just use the remotes. You can put a piece of tape over the switch to remind you to use the remote.

Got my answer from Lutron technical support, its possible if I watch the amp draw and the watts on the lights. They have a product that will work.

The order that the electricity flows is switch, switch, lights. Multiple wires at some lights mean they are travelers from one switch to the other and do not get connected to all the others. A physical inspection by someone familiar with 3way switches would be in order. We have no way of telling from here which wires are incoming power, travelers or outgoing power. A wiring book will be helpful. If you study a few wiring setups it can be figured out what goes where.