Bad behavior with step-grandkids...no discipline

flowergal-2010

My step-son just got re-married to a lady (they are both in their late 30's) that has a daughter with terrible behavior. The little girl is 4, and has not been disciplined due to her Mom not wanting "to break her spirit".. They visit, and stay with us, several times a year for a couple of nights. This little girl is repeatedly defiant to her parents by throwing things, whining & crying, and never does anything her parents ask her to do. Their response is to occasionally put her in time out, which is always a very close corner to everybody, while she cries even louder for several minutes. You can imagine what a nice touch this puts on the rest of the family's visits. My Husband will not address this because when he and his ex divorced 20 years ago, he didn't see his kids very much. Now that they are grown and will visit him again, he doesn't want confrontation. My step-sons Mom also lives in the same town, and they are very close. I'm considering telling his wife that if they will stay with her husbands mother when they visit, that it will not cause any hurt feelings. I have been contending with this situation for 3 years now, and am at the end of my rope. Suggestion??

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mkroopy

In my opinion, as a "step-grandparent", all you have the right to do is say that they are not welcome to stay with you when they visit...it's your house, you have that right. Otherwise, stay out of it, you will likely just make enemies and the odds are slim to none that you will have any impact on how the child is raised...

Whether you tell them the real reason they are not welcome to stay, or make up a little white lie is up to you I guess.

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sylviatexas1

I think I'd resent "you aren't welcome at my house", no reason given, much more than "I can't stand the screaming, please go away & leave me to my aspirin".

This has been going on for 3 years, doesn't sound like it's getting better or showing promise of *ever* getting better.

Maybe a little fresh air & sunshine (letting the happy couple know that their daughter's behavior is ruining family get-togethers) are called for.

If for no other reason, please talk to them for the little girl's sake;
she won't be at home forever, & her behavior will make her very unlikeable at school/church/everywhere, which will make her miserable indeed.

I wish you the best.

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flowergal-2010

I sent Stepson & his wife an e- mail that said maybe when they visit again, a different environment may be beneficial to their daughter...such as staying with other family members. Step daughter apologized for her daughters behavior, and said they would stay with other family members when they visit. The little girls behavior is getting worse....I hope maybe time around others...?. Will benefit all involved

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