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What to do about step son

17 years ago

I have a 20 yr old stepson that lives with my wife and I. Weve been married for 6 yrs and the stepson has lived with us the whole time. His biological father is not involved in his life. He has been diagnosed with ADD. He tried college, but failed after one semester. He moved out for a few months but he is now back at home. My problem is this, he does not help out around the house, nor does he follow the rules. He's also lying to us and doing very sneaky things. He complains he doesnt have enough money to fix his car but he secretly went out and bought a $300 video game system. His room is a disaster. Dirty plates, glasses, empty cans and wrappers everywhere. His ADD is manageable but he refused to take any meds. He is constantly forgetting to lock the doors at night, turn off lights, leaves food out, etc. It drives me nuts. I also cannot handle the fact that he doesnt have any goals or plans to do anything with his life. He basically stays in his room playing his games or on the computer. He is now paying $250 a month rent to live here, but shouldn't he still follow our rules and at least keep his room clean? We dont get along real good so we just avoid each other but I cant keep my anger towards him bottled up much longer. I dont feel right telling him to move out, but I feel like its my responsibility to properly motivate him. Any suggestions for me?

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